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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > 18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 2
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?Page 1 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
". . . she would be cutting her single life short. What do you think? "

. . . OR . . . she might be lengthening the life of the 40 YO! There IS something to be said for arrested development, you know (though I have never been there).
 tictactoe
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 5
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 8:54:46 AM
Aylesford


I know these marriages happen, yet I'm not a supporter of them. I think the girl is seeking a father figure, and the guy is insecure. The age gap is nearly a generation. She's just begun her life and he's well into his. Beyond the sex, there is so much more a couple shares. Its only my opinion of course.
 Melissanicole
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 9
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 10:33:31 AM
Statistically the marriage probably wont work. If she were 20 or 25, I wouldnt be so skeptical, but I think that a lot happens in that age range as far as maturity, or CAN happen anyways. But who knows, she might be a very mature 18, it happens.

I'm 21 and have very strong feelings for a man who is 45. It took me almost 3 months to decide whether or not I would/could date him and if I would be happy, and how the age factor played into things. But in the end, personality wise we just connected. Our values/goals/priorities/interests match pretty well and we have a mutual respect for eachother that I find is rare in men my age. We can talk for hours, we get eachothers humor, we're considerate of outside demands (my son, his business). In him, I see something I've had trouble finding in men my age- a balance between work and play. He likes to have fun and likes to travel, but he knows that his business enables him to do it. We're nowhere near marriage and who knows what will happen, but I was a girl who use to have an age maxmimum of 30 for men I dated. Sometimes people come along who defy what you thought you wanted. Under the right circumstances (lots of time, and healthy long-term relationship) I would absolutely marry him.

I'm as skeptical as the next person, but it can happen given the right 2 people.
 tictactoe
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 12
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 11:49:14 AM
bc_cowgirl

Not sure if you're into looking for long term or not, but the lad that was half your age is obviously not in your life anymore. Being here , looking for another stud muffin is a good indicator of how long those relationships can last. Hey, if you can land a young buck, go for it. But if someone thinks they can make a go of it for life with that much of an age difference, the odds are very much against them.
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 13
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 11:51:37 AM
When I am 40 one day I want to marry a pretty little young thing , unbittered, unworn , still with hope , smiles at everything and loves to party , by that time I am sure I will still love to party .

People who marry young divorce jus tlike the older ones , what is the difference arses and biatches come in all ages
 petetoky
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 16
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 12:41:50 PM
I think it's wonderful. She wasn't damaged by all the crap that makes one think of not getting married. May their marriage be blessed.
 thomassr
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 17
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 12:48:48 PM
I think bc-cowgirl is right. Why don't we all leave them alone. And let them enjoy what they have, it might not be what you want, but it is what they want. Live and let live.
 tictactoe
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 23
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 1:55:39 PM
THOMASSR


Why don't we all leave them alone.


The original poster asked a question and we responded. So none of us have bothered them unless they are on this thread or we have gone out of our way to contact them. I do think if someone on here asks a question, we are open to answer it. I will agree with you in Live and let live. I do hope the young girl / woman thinks very hard about committing that young.
 Test_Pilot
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 29
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 2:24:17 PM
It never ceases to amaze me at some of the close-minded attitudes and posts here. How can you judge a couple soley on one factor, their age difference. Age is just a number and if they are feeling the love, who are we to judge them for it. Hypocracy and jealousy are probably the primary factors behind some of these responses.

Good luck to them I say.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 30
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 2:30:52 PM
if they are happy why would anybody else worry about it.Maybe it`ll last and maybe it wont.Most marriages don`t last so whats the big deal about this one??They may just surprise everybody and make it work.
 mrbreezeet1
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 38
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 5:29:07 PM
I dont know, I'm 50, and there is this young girl, I think she is about 25, I would''nt mind asking out. I kind of like her, and I get the feeling she kind of likes me, but I'm just not sure.
Then If I ask her out, and she did not feel the same way,it would be acquired.
And I don't want to loose the sort of friendship we do have.
Or dont want her to think I'm wierd for asking her out.
Not sure what to do?
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 40
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/24/2005 7:55:37 PM
I work in construction work and most of the men that are married have told me that if they ever get a divorce they would date girls between 18-25....Now keep in mind that most of these men are 30-40 years old...I talk to men all over and they state the samething...So the men on here must be a league of their own..Which is kind of strange..
 a_vamp
Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 56
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 9:13:45 AM
*retch*....

Oh no wait... I dunno the whole story... better not yak too much... Ooh... did I just detect a whiff of fresh crisp dollar notes...? $$
 vancouverknight
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 61
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 11:59:12 AM
Wasn't Mila 18 when she married then 40 year old Brian Mulroney (who used to go to****ail parties and tell friends he'd made it with every woman in the room). This appears to be the one good thing Mulroney accomplished in his life. So I don't think the 18 year old did a foolish thing. Obviously she wants someone else to make the big decisions for her and look after her, but there is nothing wrong with that either.
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 62
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:06:13 PM
I totally disagree SEEEXXXYLICOUS.What worked for you may not work for somebodyelse...I am from North carolina....When my sister was 16 she got serious with a guy that was 32...I told myself it would never work in a 1000 years...They have been together for 22 years now..Not once separated..She has 2 sons by him...But she had them at 24..So it was not she was forced with him because of the kids at that age of 16...And by the way in north carolina you are consider a adult at 16 of age... cannot drink,vote,Smoke....But you can move out on your own,get married...I see all these young punks(16-22)Get these young girls pregnant,But yet half of them do not have a job,On drugs,,Listen to this way out music...If i had a daughter i would much rather have her date a older guy than to date these punks!!!!!!!!!!
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 64
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:20:54 PM
Let me put it to you like this LIVEWIRE..I work in the construction field...Most of the guys that i work with are between 35-45 years old....About less than half are married...And everytime we go out to lunch in a resturant and a waitress comes to are table that is between 18-21 years old..The very first thing these men say if i ever get a divorce they would like to date somebody that age....Now keep in mind this is in the 100s of men...I honestly have never met 1 that would not...I am being honest!!!!What is so ironic that these men on this site that claim they would not....Which is strange....Must be a different breed
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 66
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:37:53 PM
You can get anything you want if you have enough money...If you do not believe that..Then that is your opinion...I see it differently
 RFlagg
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 73
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 3:37:24 PM
Anecdotal personal experiences:

- A friend of my daughter's parents split after being together 20+ years. She was 55, he was 73 ... almost 20 years between then. Both had been married before. She went off and got into another relationship, but he, sadly, passed away not long after the breakup.

- An ex-g/f's mom married a man who was 25 when she was over 45. That was 30 years ago and their marriage is stronger than anyone else's that I know.

- I met an amazing young woman a few years ago ... she was 18 at the time and I was 42. We connect on many things: philosophy, literature, politics, religion, humor and she is extremely attractive (or at least I thought so, but part of that could have been due to the strong intellectual connection). Circumstances placed us together practically daily, although we never "dated" (or did anything romantic). I certainly considered it though. Ultimately I am glad we did not follow that path for a number of reasons, but age is only an indication of the fact differences and issues might occur. Age in itself is not the issue.


I do not think there is an age X that is the limit for someone who is age Y. For a man who is 40, how can anyone say the youngest he should date is someone who is 30? What if a wonderful woman comes along, but she is only 29? Or 28? Or 27? .... Or 18? Where is the line and how is it determined? And when you state "it is X years" think how you would feel if you met the man or woman of your dreams and he or she was just 1 year younger (or older)?

Apparently Plato said (and I would like to find the actual quote because I think it was someone else who said it), "A man should marry a women who is half his age plus seven years." Which means that a woman should marry a man who is double of seven years less than her current age.

Man's Age / Woman's Age
18 : 16
20 : 17
22 : 18
24 : 19
26 : 20
30 : 22
40 : 27
50 : 32
60 : 37

Problem is, the formula is only good for about 2 years, then he has to dump her and marry someone a year younger. *smile*


Really, if it works, it works. If a couple came to me asking if their age difference would be problematic for a long-term relationship, I might warn them about the difficulties they might face. Same as I might warn them for an interracial or interfaith or alternative lifestyle relationship. All of these can be difficult. But I would not condemn any of them. To do so is to discriminate, and I would not discriminate on the basis of sexual preference or race or religion, so why would I do so on the basis of age?


Good Luck!
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 76
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 12/25/2005 4:45:50 PM
Of coure that is you...Not everybodyelse...I live in FLORIDA and work hard all my life for what i own..Never ask the goverment,parents,or anybodyelse for that matter for anything...I will not give that up for nobody....I use to think like that back in my 20s when i got screwed over that really brought some light in my life...There is more to life than paying bills..And thank god for that...Take for example.My ex so call girlfriend is hook up with a real winner(52 years old,No driver licence,no car,no pot to piss in,In and out of jail all his life,ex-con)Yes that is a real winner..That is what i call a nice guy...Usually when people think that way usally have no abition to have anything in life...And about 90% people become the person they are with.....You know what makes you happy..Then that is fine...But what makes you happy may not make somebodyelse happy...There is truth to that..There is women that will love a man that turns 4o that does not have a pot to piss in(Because he drank all his life,drugs) that will worship the ground he walks..To each his own!!!!!LIFE IS CHOICES!!!!!!!Sleep with dogs get up with flee bites!!!!
 leeanna50
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 87
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 2:28:27 PM
better yet what was the 40 year old thinking, my brother did the same thing 11 months later she ran off with a 27 year old man...and my brother to this day didnt see it comming or understand why she did it..her reasoning was, her and the new guy liked the same kind of music.....lol
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 93
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 4:02:53 PM
I probably wouldn't marry a 18 yr old woman. But if another man decides to marry a much younger woman, then that is their business. Not mine or anyone elses. An 18 yr old is a legal adult in most places, if not all.
 totum_spirit
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 97
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 5:24:48 PM
Wow the insecurity of this thread. It amazes me to the length we will go to put another person or group down. People (even young people) have a choice as to how to live their life. They have a choice as to what happens in their life. So many comments here and those that made them have pain in their own past, so how can YOU say that just because you took a bad path in life everyone else needs to follow your lead? Me hell yes I have made some huge mistakes but those mistakes made me a stronger person. I am sure I have broken a few hearts but mine has been broken also...do I become negative just because I have hurt? NOPE!

I choose to live my life, I choose to forgive myself for hurting others and I choose to forgive all those that have hurt me. Would I change anything in my past? HELL NO!! All those things are what made me whom I am today so why would I wish for a different, unknown me as compared to the person I am at this moment. To be honest with you I think ALOT of younger women should date older guys. The reason is that the maturity of older men is (most of the time) are AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT A WOMAN SEEKS IN A PARTNER? The drama that goes around in our younger adults lives is worst than it was in my teen age years. I also defend the right of younger guys to date older women...an older woman is so tinder and kind to a young lover as compared to the same age girlfriend.

Now the big question...why is it everyone thinks things are supposed to last forever? Does love last forever? Divorce rate backs that one. Do we live forever? Not in mortal bodies. Does the earth stay the same? No it changes everyday. So when we put a TIME limit on love or relationships (thinking each time it must last forever) by placing the time limit on it you kill it that very moment. You destroy some thing that is pure and real because it is not happening as fast as you want it to. Instead of enjoying that single moment in time we want it to last forever...will you be alive in a few minutes...will you be alive tomorrow...next week...next year? I, we, you don't know the future so why not enjoy today tomorrow is unknown.

So if any 2 people decide that they want to be happy around each other it is their business not ours. The time they send together today will help make them who they are tomorrow. It is sad so many that disagree with this thread are the ones that are jealous that it is not them.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 98
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 6:30:31 PM
My opinion is simple. I have met a lot of people in my life. A very high number of those people wanted to ruin other people's relationships, out of jealousy, and a need to control other people's lives. The rest, just wished people well, and dealt with real problems, like the men who will ensure that a man who beats a woman stays out of her life.

I have the utmost respect for men who stand up for women, and stop them being subject to domestic violence, especially by men of their own age. The people who interfere in other peoples lives when they are not wanted by either partner, and ruin their happiness, are control freaks, and I have no respect for control freaks.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 101
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/19/2008 8:35:14 PM
My opinion is simple. I have met a lot of people in my life. A very high number of those people wanted to ruin other people's relationships, out of jealousy, and a need to control other people's lives. The rest, just wished people well, and dealt with real problems, like the men who will ensure that a man who beats a woman stays out of her life.

I have the utmost respect for men who stand up for women, and stop them being subject to domestic violence, especially by men of their own age. The people who interfere in other peoples lives when they are not wanted by either partner, and ruin their happiness, are control freaks, and I have no respect for control freaks.
 monica1215
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 104
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/20/2008 11:29:47 AM
I definitely like the way you think!! I couldn't have said it any better. I've read your "messages" and just had to tell you ... we are on the "same page" !
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