Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Lethguy26
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 3
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
what's funny is people say "friends first" then they say "but it could ruin our friendship"...

but as for people not knowing what you want its very simple... how can you truely know what you want if you haven't found it?... I know what i want when i find it... whether it's in the opposite sex or raiding the cupboard for a snack... not knowing isn't a bad thing... in fact i think its a good thing... when a person says they want "this"... is when they put limits in place... and limiting your options is just setting yourself up for failure... having standards is a good thing... but have set limitations can be very bad for your personal life
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 10
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:58:44 PM
Friends first means exactly that....lets get to know and like each other before getting to involved.

Its a baby steps, slow paced, cautious approach to building relationships usually undertaken by a badly burnt, risk adverse, person.

Here in internet land, we spend way to much time on the get ready and get set stages, so much so that people zoom out of the starting block when the GO signal is lit up. So, people use the Friends First approach as a caution flag....get people to slow down and act normal. Do you blame them?

Get ready....get set.....GO!

Bana-dito
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?
Posted: 12/31/2005 4:51:00 AM
Gemini,
"Friends First" to me means that the "Third Date Rule" does not apply. I want to get to know someone before having a sexual relationship. The men who are serious about the relationship part respect this. The men who are usually just interested in the sex part are the Third Daters. In my experience, men want sex first and THEN they decide if they want a relationship~ women want a relationship before they decide to have sex.

~just my opinion
 laylaslovemuffin
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 22
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?
Posted: 1/10/2006 7:26:16 AM
ok seriously?

just friends because you dont want to jump into bed too soon?
what happened to a relationship that builds up to sex... lol I kinda miss high school where 'second base' was something to tell all your friends about...

and making out all night long! seriously, no one does that anymore... but it's so much fun!

anyway my point is that.... actually I dunno what my point is?

just friends is cool, especially in this non-commital world of online dating
a relationship that is not based solely on sex is an awesome thing too



oh by the way, if you want to just make out all night long I'd love to hear from you
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?
Posted: 1/16/2006 5:01:13 AM
I think the time element here is what the confusion may be about. When I say "friends first" I DO have a sexual/romantic interest...and I want to build the friendship until I am comfortable enough to have a sexual one. This would NOT be taking months and months...If, during that time I don't think we have a future I would be honest and tell the man that I don't think we are a good match. Maybe some other women keep the guy hanging on when they really have no desire to EVER sleep with him. I have known women who always had to keep "a spare" incase of emergencies..like that wedding they had to go to, or a date for some special event. If those are the women HarveyWall's talking about then I don't blame him. They ARE very selfish. But I think most of us just need more time than men do to decide to have sex.
 wurl
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 31
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?
Posted: 2/27/2007 11:12:59 PM
I think what this means is no sex. Anything more is speculation. If I want the company of friends, I'll hang out with my buddies. (shrug) Is there something I'm missing here?
 chaotic.neutral
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?
Posted: 3/11/2007 9:50:23 AM
well for me friends first is what i 'look' for.

i know what i want - and for me that's a connection. Someone who keeps me mentally stimulated. Someone who I can talk to about anything and who will talk to me about anything. For me that intellectual connection is as important as a physical or sexual connection - I love good sex, but I get bored with it if the person bores me, but if in life they are someone who pushes my mind into new places, is creative, open-minded and we have a connection then there is the opportunity to grow both as individuals, as well as within a relationship. I want to get to know the person for who they are first... then see what comes from that.

On the pof site profile, you have the choice - friends, hang out, dating, etc.. for me friends is the most logical one to use, because all of the others can come from making new friends..... Plus, i just like meeting people, even if it's online friends.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is friends first synonymous with I don't know what I want?