Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Testimonials  > are irresponsible      Home login  
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 5
view profile
History are irresponsiblePage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I put up a profile at both match and american singles in the past but have never been a subscriber to either. I've received emails at match and the same thing happened where match removed the senders email address and inserted their own. The thing that bothers me is that the sender probably doesn't realize this and just thinks I am rude for not even bothering to respond.

American singles is not even worth putting up a free profile. Not only can non-subscribers not reply, one can't even see who it is who sent you mail.

I have to say, I recently discovered POF and it is definately the best value, lol. I've met a couple local interesting men in person and made several online friends in other states.
Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 6 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:18:36 AM
Any time I sign up for a dating site, I use my Yahoo messenger ID. I always make sure that my Yahoo profile has enough identifying information that the person can match my dating profile to my Yahoo profile and realize it's the same person.

This doesn't work on some sites because they append your ID with some extra characters (Am. Singles does this) or they assign you a different ID name or number that appears with your profile. I got around this on American Singles though. I created a new ID on Yahoo that matches my Am. Singles ID.

Unfortunately, there aren't many ways around making initial contact on Yahoo since they don't show IDs on profiles unless you are a paying member. They now show first names, but I'm not sure if you can get by with putting a Messenger ID in that blank. However, if someone sends you an icebreaker, it allows you to choose a quick reply or write a reply. If it's someone I'd like to talk to, I write a reply and include my messenger ID and email. When I include my email, I type "at" instead of @ because sometimes it will truncate your actual email.

Always Happy to share tips on cheating the Singles Sites!
Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 7 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 10:24:51 AM

American singles is not even worth putting up a free profile. Not only can non-subscribers not reply, one can't even see who it is who sent you mail.

Ahhh... there are ways around that too. In your account settings, you can choose to be notified when you receive a message. In the email they send, it shows you the date and time the message was received. You can usually to to "Who's viewed my profile" and match the times pretty close to figure out who emailed you. Again, there are exceptions. Some people choose not to allow you to see that they have viewed you.

Another way around paying for a premium membership is their chat feature. Premium members can contact free members via Instant Messenger in the free member is logged into the site at the time. I met a few people that way, but I was always quick to exchange Yahoo ID's because their IM sucks!

Providing more sneaky tips
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 10
view profile
History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:21:46 AM
to the posters asking how is Match "irresponsible":

To me, Match is irresponsible in that many subscribers are UNAWARE that non-subscribers are unable to reply to their emails as Match strips away the email address and inserts their own. What I mean is, the subscriber emails using Match's system and includes another email address so that if a non-subscriber is interested, there is an alternate way to reach the member. But, Match removes this (even though they state emails are private) so that replying can only be done through their system. The irresponsibility lies in the fact that this practice is not widely publicized on their site.

I even tried putting in my profile that I was not a subscriber and to use their IM system to contact me (back when Match had an IM program) and Match deleted this information from my profile.
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:26:31 AM
travelor, you can try sending your email through Match in this format:

travelor at yahoo dot com (or whatever it is)

If you want to "test" if this works, feel free to find me on Match (I think I'm ohsweetlaura on Match and I think as a non-subscriber I can still read emails) and I'll let you know.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/4/2006 1:58:03 PM
In my opinion, The reason why Men get so few responces is that most of the women on Match are nonpaying members. They are just fishing for attention (free of charge) and are not sincere. They can recieve messages but cannot respond to your message even if they wanted to. It is Match's way of inticing them into joining. It is also my opinion that there are far greater Male paying Match members than Female paying members. Hence the term " So many men so little time".

Joined: 11/20/2003
Msg: 18
view profile
History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/5/2006 10:08:35 AM
I complained to match a long time ago....saying they should at least have an icon showing if a listed member is actually a paying member and could reply with out paying the 25-30 bucks. As I had written plenty with almost no response. And yes, experienced the fake canned responses that must have been generated by the match system......yick.....preying on innocent romantics.

Anyway, recently I received a "letter is in your mail" , but NOW one needs to even subscribe to read a letter to them......NO WAY...!! Plus they do not even allow viewing of more than the first picture, same with yahoo. POF is cool as can be.....just no contacts or dates at all, and blaming it on the distance factor. I do enjoy the forums, and this is my first post. kindly....
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 22
view profile
History and others
Posted: 1/6/2006 7:52:41 AM
I signed up on a few sites after becoming single.

POF is by far the best of any of them. Thanks people for a wonderful idea, for bringing people together for free.

Some of them, like, are filled with married people looking for thrills.
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 25 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/7/2006 9:39:20 AM
Hi, Rob

I used to "subscribe" to You'd be better off lighting a Match and burn that website, if you can. Most of these paid websites are exactly what they are: you must pay. It's a business, not a non-profit organization or a free website such as this one. I think (I'm not sure), but I think that was accused of sending false emails to get people to subscribe. Yahoo personals used to be free, not anymore. It's a lucrative business.

Stick with this site, post a better picture and re-write your profile to reflect that wonderful person you are inside. I'm sure you will do well.
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 29 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/8/2006 6:55:59 PM
I NEVER subscribed to Match but I do have a profile there under the same name. I put my email address in my profile so those who read it and are interested can contact me directly. Some see it and use it some still send messages through Match.....I find that winking is almost as good as having a subscription if the email addy is clearly encoded in the profile. I wouldn't subscribe because of the reasons mentioned earlier. ITS A RIP OFF!

Like the user above me,I too filled out the long exhaustive questionare on Eharmony only to find out I was 1 in 5 that couldn't be matched there. Thanks for a waste of time Eharmony!
Joined: 2/8/2005
Msg: 31 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/8/2006 7:21:07 PM
Its been a year or so since Ive been there but I think is still free
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 35 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/9/2006 10:30:40 AM
Yeah, i was a subscriber until I found out the same thing about them only allowing a subscriber to read email from another subscriber, and they don't have instant messaging. They are too expensive to be so limited on what they offer. I cancelled right away (within my 3 days) and am getting a refund. I told them you have no way of knowing who a subscriber is, so if you email someone and they don't respond, you have no way of knowing if they are a subscriber or just not interested! All the other dating sites I have been on at least offer instant messaging and allow communication as long as one person is a paying member. I don't think they make this clear (it's probably in the fine print somewhere!) when you join or subscribe. I just figured it out when i emailed a couple of people who had winked at me and didn't hear back from them, but saw that they had been on in the last 24 hours. Also I tried to question about this before i subscribed, but they never responded to my emails, so i took a chance and tried it. After i subscribed, they answered my email and admitted this.
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 38
view profile
History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/10/2006 7:01:33 AM
Been following this thread with interest, I too subscribed to After few contacts compared to other sites, I unsubscribed, then low and behold 2 emails and of course I can't see who they're from. I'm not paying again to see somebody I'm potentially not interested in - take note you men who think that the women who don't respond to you are just looking for attention, no we're just aware of throwing away money on a site not on you personally. I tried the 3 days free but got a message that it wasn't offered in my area. What does that mean? POF is by far the best site but I do like It's a pay site but very fair.
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 39
view profile
History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:59:11 AM
I actually paid for Intellisingles for about a month or so.....

Then I discovered POF, and never looked back. This place, by far, is the best. Just the forums alone are a great way to see how others think.
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 40
What do you all think are the BEST sites then?
Posted: 1/10/2006 5:28:07 PM

I have found this site to be one of the best. Also I posted on and have gotten good results. It's only $6/month and it is easy to cancel if necessary and you don't have to do the rating system if you don't want. I have also had luck on, which uses the relationship exchange, so you are actually connected with several dating sites in one. It is a little more expensive than others, but they have specials alot, and if you keep an eye out, some months they run what they call Happy Hour, it is an hour selected random through out the day that any non-members can use the IM and email to contact anyone for that hour. They did this in Oct., 2004 and Dec., 2004., so I'd be watching for it in Feb. Good Luck!
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 42 and others
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:59:15 PM
@dacainru.....great f'n post girl..

good job
Joined: 5/11/2004
Msg: 46
view profile
what do you all think are the BEST sites then?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:20:32 PM
Personally, my favorite free site is "Cupid." But I think that's because I like geek girls and that site seems better than most at attracting more intelligent women.
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 49
view profile
History are irresponsible
Posted: 1/14/2006 10:53:34 AM
Rob, I can help. I've got account.
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 52 and others
Posted: 1/14/2006 1:45:54 PM
Don't join! I repeat, don't join! It is impossible to cancel your account! I had to change my credit card number! For some reason, pof had a link to it. (I like this site.) To cancel, they want people to go to futurepay and worldpay, put in a agreement or id number to login...and nowhere in their replies do they give you the correct numbers, so you can't login to cancel! So then they want you to send a fax to Italy saying that you want to cancel. Match, Yahoo, American singles, they all suck, and I'm discovering crappier ones daily, especially in the Houston area!
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 53 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/14/2006 2:24:58 PM
on one site i had 4 e-mails waiting supposedly from interested women, but no one had checked my profile, so who messages you without looking at your profile, they just want you to pay so they plant e-mails to you, it`s a scam
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 55 and others
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:38:04 PM
I talked to a guy on match who I figured was date bait.
This was long time agowhen I was meeting people from dating sites.

I met him anyway, more out of curiosity if I could get a job there too....
what it paid and what they job consited of.
He got angry for some reason....

Guess he figured I was meeting him for something else?
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 58
view profile
History are irresponsible and dishonest
Posted: 12/29/2006 3:33:12 AM
I was a member on a three day trial with, i got lots of emails from people in other parts of the country, mostly much older men, wanting sex, one guy was an identity theft con, asking me for my b day, my address so he could send flowers with a stolen credit card, and asking me and others for emergency money to help him get back home after being robbed in Germany, France and well every other country.. hahahaha It is a good thing most of us are suspicous to a degree. After my trial ended, I got fifty emails (all fake) trying to entice me to come back and pay. What a crock of BS, I would never join them or any of the pay to date, be stalked, verbally abused (if you dont respond just the way they want). I like POF, however the first few days I deleted emails before I had a chance to read them, I thought I knew what I was doing.. I hope they didnt get mad.
I am thrilled to read how many people have met someone wonderful on here, it is very exciting!!!! I do get upset with the fifty something, overweight, balding, not attractive, men wanting to date Paris Hilton look a likes, saying that they prefer twenty to thirty year olds, under 125 weight, and intelligent, happy, blah blah blah, they will never be happy, never find true love because they are living in a dream. Some men and women are overweight from medicines, depression, injury or just not exercising enough, yet when a person meets someone they really like, they start losing weight, start being more active, are happier and the weight just falls off, so for anyone to blow off someone for a few extra pounds is silly. A guy that was not cute at all asked me out several years ago, I saw into his eyes that he was a very sweet guy that was just out of shape, had a bad hair cut, bad teeth and skin so I told him I would go out with him in a couple of weeks, that I had to go out of town on business, so when I got back, it was an amazing difference!! He had a new hair style, new clothes and his teeth were bleached, he had a bit of a tan and looked freakin great, we had a long relationship and were going to get married but he was transferred to another city and I just wasnt prepared to move away from my family and friends.
Good luck to all of you!
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 59 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:09:23 AM
I am a member of (Paying) and I know that when someone emails me on the site I receive in my mailbox on the site and also receive one in my personal email. The one that is sent to my personal email account is sent annomously from the sender as
If they send there email address in the email itself it is not changed to my knowledge.

Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 61 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:33:32 AM
I tried out a 6-month paid membershipp at Match .com earlier this year. I never got to post my profile the way I wanted it. Every time I edited my profile, Match would send me an email saying that they wouldn't "approve" it. Here's a copy of their email:

Dear ______:

Thank you for submitting your profile for posting with our service. Unfortunately, we cannot approve and post it at this time because a portion appears to be confusing, filled with random text, cut off mid-paragraph or inappropriate, but it may be approved with minor changes.

Please take a moment to log in, rewrite any section which may not meet our site guidelines, and re-submit your profile for evaluation. Once your profile has been received, you will receive confirmation of approval within 24 to 72 hours.

Thank You

If you have any questions, please check the Help section available from the top navigation bar of our site. Or click here: _________

Your Customer Care Team

They also disallowed some of my photos. Women on Match have pics of their cats, dogss, their backyard, etc. but my portrait photos were not approved for unknown reasons. Match also give themselves license to crop your photos anyway they like, this type of artistic freedom is disturbing since these photos belong to members.

This kind of censorship is repugnant, so I cancelled my account and deleted myy profile. I don't know what their practices had been in the past, but they didn't censor emails I received from women, they were able to send me their personal email addresss and phone number with no problem. But in my opinion Match .com is a scam, for all the reasons people have mentioned in this thread. I think that with FREE dating sites like POF and My$pace, the days of paid online dating websites are numbered.

Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 64 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:37:42 AM

The one that is sent to my personal email account is sent annomously from the sender as
If they send there email address in the email itself it is not changed to my knowledge.

That is because only PAYING Matchcom members can SEND email. Only PAYING members can READ email sent to them by other members. Once they have both parties money, for all Match or most of the other pay sites care, you could send your home address, phone # , a map to your house, your SSN, your bank acct #....well you get the picture. All this "worry" about "safety" is nothiing but a ploy to get into your wallet.

Now, having said that, I have in fact in the past met some very nice men, some of whom I still see as friends or correspond with. But MOSTLY those all occured BEFORE they got grabby about money.

I do have a paying acct at Yahoo,but it's been pretty dry lately, don't know if I will continue much longer.
Here are a few more free sites
BlueCollar Dating
Show ALL Forums  > Testimonials  > are irresponsible