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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Registered Sex Offender?!?      Home login  
Joined: 8/23/2004
Msg: 2
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Registered Sex Offender?!?Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
lock up your little sister...............................
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 4
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 12:57:18 PM
Joe Schmo is on the right track. Gotta be more to the story. You can probably get a transcript of the court records. Proceed with caution.
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 5
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 12:58:17 PM



now i know with vitamins and mtv little girls are growing up faster than ever BUT he HAD to know she wasn't 18.

my niece is 14. 5'7" and a respectable b cup and you would KNOW she's 14. same with her little friends.

i'd be careful of that one
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 6
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 1:00:08 PM
Up to this point, I've been liking the guy. He didn't tell you the whole truth. I promise you. My daughter was 14 when seduced by her 23 yr old boss at a custard stand. I took this as far as I could legally and her sexual predator only got 4 months in the house of correction. Your boyfriend got 20+ months. I would have killed for that. What about the lack of money? Is he paying restitution??? I received checks for years from that guy. You may need more information but with my history, his ass would be on the curb.
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 7
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 1:11:30 PM
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 8
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 1:17:07 PM
sigh.. ok.. here goes my two cents..

as a survivor of sexual abuse that took place from the age of 3 to 12.. by an uncle.. I have to tell you this.. get out of the relationship now.. sure it may have been decent as he claims then he should have taken her home and confronted her parents.. he should have stood up..

the same F*cker that abused me dared to put his hands on my child.. because someone felt that he would never do that..and he was innocent.. and while she was under this person's care they left her alone in his presense.. he came up with the story that she tripped he tried to stop her from falling by grabbing her breast..

unfortunately the police couldn't do crap cause none of the other 14 women he molested wanted to speak up..

sorry but Sex offender is a Sex offender and my thinking is.. serve him his walking papers.
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 9
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:37:44 PM
I smell a rat. In my line of work as a computer technician, I've found that very few people with those sorts of charges hanging over those head are "honest" about it, even when they claim to be telling the truth. For one thing, why were charges pressed against him? Did she press them? Did her parents?

I've had to deal with things like this because the nature of my work sometimes requires me to work on other people's computers, and you would be amazed at the sort of stuff you find on computers, even business computers that never leave the office.

Well, you might not be surprised, but I was.

A tech recruiter once called me to ask my opinion about a guy who was a convicted felon they were considering for a job.

His explanation was, "I had a couple of pictures on my computer that I shouldn't have downloaded. But the FBI busted down my door, and I spent a year in a federal penitentiary."

First of all, the FBI does NOT bust down anyone's door for downloading a couple of illegal pictures. If that were true, then half of the males in the United States would be in prison.

Secondly, you do NOT spend a year in a federal pen for having a few naughty pictures on your computer. The guy was probably running a web ring, or a server, or a file-sharing system.

For all I know, your man may have been completely honest with you. But I'd be EXTREMELY careful, and I'd ask a lot more questions. I might even go so far as to obtain the court transcripts if you are considering a long term relationship with him. Because if, for example, you got married to him, then it will affect you for the rest of your life.
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 10
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:38:47 PM
Well, I'm not sure if its time to kick him to the curb. Mistakes happen and people grow sometimes.

When I was 14 I was a little terror and many things I did would have gotten men some time(at least in some places, 14 is nearly fair game up here except for some situations) One might debate wheither or not I was being "used" by men much older than me -- some are total pedophiles (looking back with a little more maturity and 20/20 hind sight) and some I probably manipulated far more seriously than they I. I would have lied and said ANYTHING to try and fill the void of self-unlove I experienced back in those days. Some were mortified after they realized 1) the truth and 2) they throught with the wrong head and made a huge mistake.

Ahem, i'm matured considerably since then and wouldn't dream of being like that now. I share my past with partners because it's part of me and I am always affraid of what the reactions might be. The stereotype the other ways for me usually comes back "ohhh, kinky". However, now I feel for some of the men that I placed in simular situations with their new partners... (the ones i'm convinced, looking back, that made a mistake and aren't sex offenders types)... they too feel bad, have matured but still did what they did (without having been living in a place where they could be charged as a sex offender)

So... was it innocent? probably not completely. He was an adult and he made that decision. Was is an isolated, stupid, stupid, mistake? perhaps... should you leave him for it... maybe?

I might slow things down, relook at his character and decide if you think it's just a horrible mistake he made in his past. Can you trust him? It helps the trust that he told you rather than the other way around. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone something like that and I bet there are a lot of people that'll never understand and forgive him for it. (rightfully so? maybe)
Joined: 5/1/2005
Msg: 11
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:02:41 PM
Use your head, you said this 14 year old girl was hanging out in a bar and drinking and running around with a 18 year old woman..the courts take all of this into consideration when making a decision, this guy got more than a slap on the wrist...You had best look a bit deeper. This guy is not only lazy and cheap, he's also one hell of a lier!! Just imagine what he thinks of you if he uses your money why not use you for your younger friends too...I believe they call it RUN AND RUN FAST!
Joined: 10/28/2004
Msg: 13
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:59:25 PM
First, some 14 year olds can look like 18. My sister was one. But he still should have been more careful. Here in Texas though, he could serve that long for that; it would be "Indecency with a Child" and a 2nd degree Felony which is 2-20 years. A lawyer could have tried to defend him citing "Mistake of Fact" about her age, but his lawyer would then have to convince a jury that misjudging her age was a reasonable mistake for him to have made under the circumstances. I would ask if he had a jury trial, because if a jury didn't think his mistake of her age was reasonable, then chances are you wouldn't have either.
 Runs With Squirrels
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 14
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/9/2006 11:43:42 PM
Ok, I was a 14 year old who looked 20. I had too many guys hitting on me for them all to have been pedophiles, and luckily for me, I had the good sense to tell them, "Listen, I'm 14. I'm jailbait." Most of them backed off pretty fast, a few didn't (and I told them where to go), but for the most part, if I hadn't said anything, these guys wouldn't have know how young I was till it was too late.


Thunderrose made a really good point with:
Use your head, you said this 14 year old girl was hanging out in a bar and drinking and running around with a 18 year old woman..the courts take all of this into consideration when making a decision, this guy got more than a slap on the wrist...You had best look a bit deeper.

I was ready to cut him a break, but I have to say this made me think twice, as did the post from ArmbarAngel. Everything might very well be public record, so why not see what you can find out before deciding whether to kick him to the curb or cut him some slack?
Joined: 12/6/2005
Msg: 15
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 1:10:54 AM
Just check with the sex offenders registry in your state and you can get a copy of the registry minus the victims name. You will get information of the actual offense and the sentence that resulted and current status. You can email me if you like and I can give you all the links.
Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 16
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 1:34:47 AM
do not walk away He had to know she was not 18......come on, and they do not change......
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 17
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 3:57:39 AM
Hey how are you doing? i am doing alright i enjoyed reading you'r post and i am in the same thing expect not the same way you'rs went down, and not the same exact order or information. But if he served his time and did his deed and comming from somebody who's BEEN there once before... i can tell you from my experience it could be worth it and if he's paid his debts with the law and served his time than i think you, should look beyond his PAST i mean after all that was in his past and everybody has a past probly alot worser than his.

I would have to talk to you for you, to fully understand MY story because alot of people on here like. To JUDGE somebody/everybody before they TRULY take the TIME to get to know them, and i do NOT think anybody has the right to judge anybody on here or anybody's personal background/past because i'm sure everybody on here has made a few mistake's in there life and what's done is done. I'm sure if he/you could go back in time and change the way it all would have went down, yall would do so but learn from eachother's mistakes and forgive N forget. If you love him and yall are serious about eachother. It shouldn't matter what a person has done in there past this is a "NEW YEAR" time to put the past behind us all, and move on to what's infront of us and the future.
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 19
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 5:55:46 AM
Think about what you are doing, No let me take that back, Run as fast as you can then think about what you did.
The title of registered sex offender will be with him forever he may only have to register with the local authorities for three years but the label is there forever. Is this a guy that you want to spend the rest of your life, have kids, and think you could live happily ever after. What happens when your kids grow up and have friends spend the night then someone finds out about his past, are you ready to deal with this problem that will keep surfacing.
If this girl was only fourteen I am sure she did not look eighteen or twenty, Why would his ex allow this to happen, she had to know that her friend was only fourteen, I'm not trying to place blame on anyone else but there are too many holes in the story. I am sure if you got the actual court documents and the actual facts you will find there is allot more to the story.
What is more disturbing is this women will fall in love and defend a registered sex offender and I can't get a woman to respond to an E-Mail. WOW That will crush an ego.
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 20
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:39:22 AM
I just happen to work as a sexuality counselor for a residential facility. From what I have learned over the years is this.
They are extremely slow in taking FULL responsibility for their behaviors, often placing blame upon the victim.
They minimize the impact it had on their victim.
Over 60% have additional victims that at the time were unknown.
Even when completed with this treatment process, the percent to reoffend is right at 50%.

Doesnt sound like very good odds to risk your life happiness with.
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 22
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:28:14 AM
Don't be stupid, Is he the last or only guy out there. You are a very attractive women. Grow up already and realize that you should not have to carry burdens for anyone. You want to settle for someone you can live with, instead of finding someone you can't live with out. If you stay with him, I hope I am wrong but his past will most likely come back to haunt you.

A friend of mine was married to a guy that had a past incident, similar situation, she was very cautiouse about their relationship. Eventually they got married, after six years of marriage he was arrested meeting what he knew to be a fifteen year old girl he met on the Internet, it was an undercover police officer. He is now in jail and her divorce was final about a month ago. If you don't think his true colors will show, try talking to my friend, her life changed drastically because of a sexual preditor.

Good luck, be smart
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 24
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:42:26 AM
[he would have told me sooner but I had a few other very big things I was dealing with and then the holidays so]

This is a little issue? huh what? If being charged and mind you found guilty of being a sex offender is little I would hate to see the big issues. THe important part is that he was found guilty of a sex offense. I am sure the courts took into consideration his lamo excuse that he didn't know but yet he was found guilty anyway. All sex offenders say they didn't know it's the biggest excuse in the world.

I am sorry but there are physical noteable differences between a young girl and an adult. So if his side of the story is really true than what makes you want to be with someone who cleary has horrible horrible judgement?

[I have to pay for everything]

Why do you feel the need to pay for his mistakes? Somehow you equated your need to be loved and desired with having to pay for some elses sh$t. This is not right and you need to get a clue seriously.

Depending upon the level of his sex offense your neighbors now probably all know you are harboring a convicted sex offender. THey are all staring at you because they see something you don't. He had sex with a young girl! Period end of story!

Why don't you find someone that thinks with the other brain and stop wasting your time on someone that had sex with a little girl. THis isn't going to go away anytime soon and it will always be on your mind. In the back of your head you will always secretly wonder what the truth really is and every little girl that you two encounter will cause you to call into question hmmmm does he like having sex with young girls or just a mistake. Personally that is something I would never want to have to worry about with my man. Wondering about cheating maybe but not sex with little girls!
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 25
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:44:15 AM
I agree with country girl don't protect him he is new in your life. Think about and protect everyone else that is and has been a part of your life forever. Will your siblings bring their preteen or teenage kids over for the holidays if he is around. YOur relationship with this guy does not only effect you it can and possibly will effect your entire family.
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 27
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:06:16 AM
hell keep him a 14 yo cooch looks pretty much the same as 22 and he did not know
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 29
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:41:02 AM

Let me reiterate: He did NOT have sex with her.

... that you know of. There is such a thing as plea bargaining for lesser charges, and depending on who filed the charges, it's possible that it happened but was not revealed during the prosection. Two years is awfully long time for a fondling charge, especially if the mitigating circumstances are what he says they were. Until you've read the court transcripts, you don't WHAT happened, or didn't happen. You are simply taking his word for it, and as everyone has pointed out, that is simply not enough when you are dealing with a sex offender.
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 30
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:42:53 AM

Family is another reason for him moving away. I don't think he would ever hurt a child but it's not my choice to expose my younger family members to him - that is up to their parents. So if he was an hour away, no one would ask questions about him not being around much.

So you would risk the lose of family for this guy that placed himself in a compromising position. You are not in love you are lusting over this guy that spent 21 months in prison doing nothing but lifting weights and working out. Don't be sooooo stupid. If your parents don't slap the sh*t out of you someone should.
He can tell you all he wants that hwe never had sex with this girl, I don't believe it. C'mon Bill Clinton never had sexual relations with Hillary either, did you believe that also. Do you think it would be easy for a sexual preditor to resume his life after getting out of prison, No I don't think so. If he admits that he had sex, who is going to want to be around him, who is going to hire him, who is going to trust him. Get the info and you will realize how stupid you are being. Think about the children that a$$holes like this are preying on and if you can justify it then have fun because you are just as sick as he is.
Nothing pi$$es me off more than stupidity. You will justify his actions but ignore someother guy that may want to be with you. Look beyond this sexual predator freak and realize there is a world around you, become a part of normal society.
now if you want to know how I really feel send me an E-Mail, I don't want to be put in time out.
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 31
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:45:29 AM
This woman needs to be nominated for the Darwin Awards. If you are not sure what the Darwin awards are, Google search it. You will laugh your butt off at some of the stupid things people do.
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 33
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:15:29 AM
Hey do what you want? If you were my daughter I would slap the $h!t out of you and tell you to go to hell. You post a thread like this and the majority have clearly said the same thing, but through your ignorance you will justify his actions. Now you have the nerve to say
I'm not stupid and I'm not evil
My father always told me "When you make your bed then you can lay in it" I just hope that all the pain, agony, and harm that he will cause is on your shoulders only, you definatly deserve it. I also hope that you feel the wrath of the courts with him if he ever strikes again. Remember these thaughts and comments by all the members that have commented and think abotu how you would feel if you had a child. As a society we need to protect our children and the elderly, defending this a$$hole is condoning his actions. enjoy your life the two of you are made for each other. I hope you never have kids to experience this guys ways and your idiotic beliefs. I personally believe anyone that is found guilty of a sexul crime against a child should be castrated. Don't give them the ability to harm another. I also believe that a itting punishment for a sexual predator is to be locked in a cell with the parents of the victomized child, if they survive then they go to prison.
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 34
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:19:38 AM

I have done research. I called the clerk of court and she read his file to me over the phone, explaining all the legal jargon (which I would not have understood) and I looked up his file online. I also called the sheriff's office. I did not take his story at face value. I checked it out; I think it says that in my original post.

I don't think you're evil or stupid. And I disagree with the posts that either imply that, or state it outright. But until you read the actual court transcript, all you've seen is the legal endgame. You don't know the evidence presented, or what came out in the court case.

Like I said, it is entirely possible he is telling you the truth. Given the nature of the crime, I think you are still relying a little too much on his word.
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