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 Melissanicole
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 2
Mutually beneficial living arrangementsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
blond, I would consider it, but honestly the fear is always about being dependent on someone else. There is always the chance where the money would become the control and if could get tricky. Personally, Id rather be self-sufficient and work a bit harder.
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 3
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/20/2006 10:44:05 AM
I wouldn't think it to be a great idea unless there was a homeless mother needing temporary shelter.

First of all...you can get a small appt. for under $600 a month. What kind of person wants to work for $125/week.

Second problem....your introducing kid(s) into your kids's lives

Third problem - who pays for food

Forth problem - property...who wants to live in a place where they own nothing or nothing is their's

Fifth problem - she gets no medical/denist benefits


She would do better to work as a day nanny and have her own place rather than barter shelter for care.

My synopsis....you are dreaming

Bana-dito
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 5
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/20/2006 12:05:20 PM
Okay...so let me get this straight...you allow her room & shelter, you pocket $500/month and you pay her nothing for her services including no food or benefits. I bet you would expect her to pay her share of the utilities.

Well there are a couple of problems:

1) What your proposing constitutes slave labour and is not allowed at least here in Canada
2) She could go and be a live-in nanny and get payed for it...why would anyone with a rationale mind even consider what you are proposing.

I think in your twisted mind that you don't think child care is work! The fact that she already has her's to care for, then whats an extra few kids...works for you doesn't it.

Well it wouldn't work for her and definately not for your child...trust me. Your are a total fool and you are only endangering your child by trying to bypass paying for her/his care.

There is nothing mutually beneficial here in this wacked out proposal. The only one really benefiting is YOU. You have been entrusted with your child's care....for God's sakes don't try and take short cut's for a measly $500/month.

I can't believe the so-called parents here

Bana-dito
 Norwegian
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 6
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/20/2006 12:11:11 PM
Why don`t you just get an au pair?
 MellyBabez
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 7
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/20/2006 12:22:05 PM
Well, i read all the comments here, and i agree with yours, OP, as well as bandito ( hugs)

So. It would be a tough decision to make.
When i first moved out, i took in a roommate ( actually, 3 at different times), to help with the costs. I did start working when my daughter was about 6 months, full time, and my roommate was not.
Since i worked 5:30-2am, and she was home, I asked her if she could watch her for a few hours at night, then send her off to bed, and not go out at night, until i got hoem at least.

It worked out great.

However, we were friends, and i trusted her with my daughter.

I would consider this arrangement...
BUT all bills would be split, including food, and i would just expect you to give me money for watching your kids.

There would be a big trust issue there...having the woman hang out with you and your kids first, and see if everybody gets along.
Make sure rules are set out, and everybody follows them, to make it easier.

If she's not going to be working anyways, i dont see why she wouldnt, shes home anyways, and making some extra cash, for watchign the kids.

The kids all get to play, and thats great.

But....if suddenly she moves out, it could have a bad effect on the kids, and thats not good.

If your going to get a roommate ANYWAYS, try to get a single mom, at least she wont be ****ing about the toys, as roommates of mine have done in the past.

I now have my own place ( thank god!! LOL) and dont need to think about roommates..

Just..be careful. :) And if this is going to happen, younger single moms would be more willing to do so. Older moms are job secure, and wouldnt be into the whole "nanny" thing.

And like someone else said, look into an au pair...

:)
 MellyBabez
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 14
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:42:28 AM
You know, even if you dont find the person you are looking for, put an add in the paper for a good child care provider.

Hopefully a single mom ( make sure you specify that) who can take care of your kids while you are working, ect, and in turn she can bring along her kid(s) as well, so they can all play together.

That way, shes getting income, AND doesnt have to find childcare for her kid(s).

Id do that.

And like chrystler said, its tough watching, say 4 kids under 4. :)

And dont think cheaply..after all the woman is caring for your kids- they are priceless.
I dont think daycare workers get paid enough for what they do. They have our child's lives in their hands, and have a part in raising them
Just my 2 cents :)
 Norwegian
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 15
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/21/2006 11:23:12 AM
How much are childcare costs anyway?

I worked full time taking care of a little boy a couple of years ago and I got paid just over 500 a month.

Daycare, like kindergartens, are only 300 a month here.
 sweetestthang
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 17
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/11/2007 7:50:59 PM
BANDITO...i agree with u a hundred percent..this guy has lost his mind...but i dont doubt that he can find a woman stupid enough to do this....whoever she is...im sure they will deserve each other
 blueyemama
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 19
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:57:13 AM
I agree with most of the comments that you are looking for something for nothing. Taking care of children all day no matter what there ages. So you think free rent is worth what you are looking for? Be honest and look at the situation.

You should be happy that you have an income that gives you options and that you could possibly afford a nanny. Many women who thought that they were going to stay home with there children find themselves in situations were they are thrown into the workplace, and have to put there children in care situations that are not always the best situation but have to make those sacrifices in order to put food on the table.

I think that you saying she could get a job in the evening when you are home was quite ammusing. Who would take care of her children then.

I think that your best option would be to hire someone to come in your home to take care of your children and then allow her/him to bring her own children with her. Some mothers that want to stay home have children in school a part day.

I agree with the comment that we underate/underpay the people that take care of our most precious possesion.
 JMars
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 20
Mutually beneficial living arrangements
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:56:01 PM

To be honest, it sounds like you are looking for a stay-at-home wife without the relationship.


Yeah. that was my first thought on reading the first post.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, but my solution was to invite my mother to move in with me. I was a Housedad while my ex and I were together, and while I promptly found a job upon the break-up, the pay was such that I would've had to get a second job to be able to afford daycare. So, between my mother's health, social life, and my own plans to eventually move her in with us anyways, this seemed like the way to go.

So, I work nights, take care of my son afterschool and get him to bed at night... and also help my ex by providing afterschool care for my son's half-sister. My mother gets the lad to school in the morning and is there should a problem arise at night (while he is sleeping), and has me to help her with things she might not be up to, and is never pining away for our company.

I don't get to be "cool single dad", though I probably have at least the potential for alot more freetime than alot of single parents have, and it is a bit of a blow to my pride to feel that I have to tell women that I live with my mom, but all-in-all I'm happy with the situation. I'd rather do that right thing, than the cool thing. And in the end, it;'s not about what's good for me, but whats best for the lad.

I especially like that my son is not left in some "strangers" care, but rather someone whose care I have first hand knowledge of.

I think my situation epitomiozes a "mutually beneficial living condition".
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