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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Growing old gracefully or just growing old?      Home login  
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 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 1
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I know this guy who is about to turn 60. He will be the first to tell you that he is "old school" in his thinking. He made the statement to me that "Men grow old gracefully but women just grow old". I was stunned at his sexist comment. Since the time he said that I have wondered if there could be any grain of truth in that or if anyone thinks the opposite is true. Comments?
 Shadowsurfer
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 2
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 4:59:32 AM
Growing old is something we're lucky to be able to do lol....weather we make it graceful or not is really up to us. Me? Women as they mature are pretty hot I think lol! Knowing more about yourself and the world around you can be a pretty attractive thing....the confidence thing I guess. I've dated some really hot ladies that I couldnt stand to be around most of the time.....thats no fun at all lol. My opinion....give me a brain to go with everything else, thats what keeps you coming back
 FantasyFlavor
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 3
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 6:12:09 AM
lol That's the "old school" thinking for ya! I'm growing older & more graceful as I move along! With age comes experience,knowledge,& wisdom...too bad we have to wait for it! I would've loved to know then,what I know now!
 Ainsel
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 4
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 6:24:21 AM
As gracefully and as gradually as I can!! And I'm not growing old, just maturing.

According to my mother, it's damn near time...lol.
 renascencewoman
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 5
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 8:40:02 AM
i love growing older, and i'm doing it gracefully, too. i will not hide my gray on purpose and act like a 46 year old woman who thinks she's 16.

the guy that made the crack about women growing older is not alone in his opinion; sad, isn't it? u know the "wrinkles on men add character", etc. phooey. imho, people look more attractive as they grow older. could be the mindset of been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, wore it and use it as a dustrag now.

btw, i laugh when i see someone with jet black hair. i know in their mind's eye they think it makes them look better, but all that darkness just highlights the liver spots and wrinkles begin to look like battle scars or train tracks.
 Shadowsurfer
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 6
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 9:03:52 AM
I had a lot of gray hair years ago....and was kinda proud of it.....now that about half of that is gone i kinda like the bald spot on the back of my head lol. Hey I think I earned it,right? Its like a badge of honor thing !!
 azblueskies57
Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 7
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 11:42:17 AM
I think women should fight it and dye their hair, but men...I , personally, have 4 grey hairs and am looking forward to the rest.
 jwwgcec
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 8
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 12:12:10 PM
I just love questions like this one. I see women and men whiten their teeth, inject botox, color their hair (even pubic I hear these days) and wear stupid cloths in an attempt to look younger. Then I hear people say things like "I'm not getting older, just wiser." Or, "your only as old as you feel." Heck the other day I was at a birthday party for this guy that turned 50. He is walking around saying there is nothing he can't do at 50 that he could do at 25. My comment back to him was "you did not do much when you were 25 did you. LOL

Why not just face reality that getting older beats the alternative, we don't look better as we get older and remember that at some point there is nothing wrong with taking some viagra if needed LOL
 wolfwoman
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 9
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 12:48:22 PM
I think women grow more gracefully then men. Of alot of the profiles I have seen on here, of men my age and even a bit younger, they look like they are in their 50's-70's, and I still keep on looking young. No surgery and nothing artificial. Yahoo!
 Indigo Rose
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 10
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 4:42:54 PM
I'm growing older not sure about the graceful part
 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 11
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 5:24:21 PM
The reverse emotional chronology holds for me: I was born wise, not I'm just getting sillier.
 galaxy-drifter
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 12
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:11:50 PM
ringman

I sorta in the same boat, I grew my hair back long, in there last few years just because I could. Might been looking for the connection of yesterday. Heck I even have a 23 window Hippie bus any you ladies remember those. Or should I say do you have any fond memories in the back? Now in the last couple years the gray has really set in, but like you said not to worry it’s thinning so fast there’s less gray every day. I too have decided to cut my hair back to the more conservative look. Not bad for one that grew up among the non-conforming.
 sctrrdr69
Joined: 12/28/2004
Msg: 13
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:16:26 PM
I'll start worrying about growing old after I hit 20......
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 14
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 9:23:02 PM
The guy I mentioned in the OP is looking for romance. In retrospect, I think he was complaining because many of the women he meets in his age bracket are not. At least that has been his experience. By gracefully he may have meant that men continue to look for fun and romance and women get to a certain age and just look for fullfillment in their friends and family. If that is what he meant, I have seen this same phenomenon at my age, and I am a decade younger than him. I know there are always exceptions to the norm, but do you think there is any truth in that?
 BreezNby
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 15
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 9:24:09 PM
Hmmm, I saw a birthday card the other day that said "A gray hair doesn't matter unless you are looking down when you spot it".

The ol double standard follows us all the way to the grave. Men can have as many sex partners as they can find, no one thinks less of them for it. They still make more money than we do in the work force. Gray hair and lines just adds character and distinction. Their butts fall off or migrate to the front and hang over their belts, no one seems to care.

And to top it all off, we love them but we don't know why. Just shoot me now.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 16
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/1/2006 9:28:55 PM
Growing old??? WHAT's that????
I might be getting older in years... but I'm not really growing up. Age is in your mind. I am young at heart. I try not to act like some people I know, I swear they seem to just be sitting around waiting to die or something. I did the hair dying and bangs and stuff or I should say after many rum and cokes a couple of friends decided I needed a "younger" look and did it to me. Well, it's not me and to be honest.. my "guy" friends did NOT like my hair colored, they said it was much prettier with my gray in it. At almost 47, I have more confidence in myself and I'm much happier with my life. I have done more than most people even dream about. If I died tomorrow... I've had one hell of a good ride!!! I have a really good saying.. I'll find it and send on a later post.
 Gage4fun
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 17
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/2/2006 10:15:11 AM
Actually, it's been my observation over the years that hardly ANY one ages all that gracefully. They just become more rigid. I can say this because I find myself doing the very things I swore I never would when I was younger, although the extent that I do it is less. It's all a matter of degree.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 18
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/2/2006 9:37:52 PM
Gage, I think you said it best. We are about as graceful growing old as we were graceful going through puberty.
 cricket2006
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 19
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:29:01 PM
It's all what you want to make of every day and where your head is at in terms of negativity and positivity. If you care enough to take care of yourself, you are taking care of the rest of the world. In our older years, we finally slow down enough to smell the roses and taste the coffee. Then we can think about our lives and what we have done or not done and what needs to be done if anything at all. Each day is a blessing as we grow older and realize how superficial a lot of our relationships have been. How we spent a lot of time worrying about nothing. Most of all, we get closer to understanding ourselves and our true needs. What is important and what is not important. Getting down and getting real and coming to peace with lots of issues. I guess you could call all of the above gracefully tip toeing through the tulips. I wouldn't want to go back and do it all again, no thank you.
 Gage4fun
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 20
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/4/2006 9:24:11 AM
^^^^^^^^Don't like coffee have poor sense of smell due to repeated infections as a kid, so can't smell the roses either...Guess I'd better just shoot myself and save everyone a lot of trouble.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 21
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/4/2006 9:40:02 AM
Not many people seem to grow old gracefully. Some people gain self-assurance and poise, and many remain idiots and jerks. Some people make an attempt to stay fit, and many others abuse their bodies and grow fat and flabby.

I also see so many older couples where the man is gray and balding, and his wife has obviously dyed her hair thoroughly - it's so fake! Get within 20 feet and you can see the bags and wrinkles, so what does this accomplish? Nothing wrong with the normal aging process - it's inevitable anyway. I do enjoy seeing active older couples still enjoying being with each other - they've found the secret of aging gracefully.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 22
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/4/2006 8:33:41 PM
You grow old only if you have a negative outlook about aging. If you view aging with the same feeling like you've walked around your entire life sucking lemons, I guarantee, you will grow OLD! If you've got a positive feeling about yourself and view having another candle on your cake, as a cool thing, you're aging gracefully..
It should be about the quality of your life, not quantity.

As far as women dying their hair, botox, etc., it's unfortunate they go through that, but the pressure to look young, thin, and beautiful is incredibly real out there no matter how old we are.
 Kosmic Hitchhiker
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 23
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/4/2006 10:22:56 PM
There is nothing wrong in growing older...beats the hell out of the alternative. Just live everyday, and I do mean LIVE everyday and in the end you will have few regrets. If you want to dye your hair..go ahead, it is "YOUR" hair. If you want to exercise and stay fit..great! if not it is still your life...enjoy it and never ever let anyone with a different view point or a negative attitude infringe on your right as an individual to express your existance in any manner you choose or see fit.
 littlebit70
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 24
Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/4/2006 10:56:41 PM
Hello, everyone! I'm new both to POF and to this Forum; but I certainly like what I see...yeeees, I do! (-:

I recently have been discussing this same topic with both male and female friends. It has been my JOYFUL experience to see that after half a century or so, it seems that men and women are FINALLY getting close to being on the same page in terms of what they seek in a mate. Many of the above posts resonate with me, as I'm sure they do with all of us at this age and stage in our lives: we all seem to be getting beyond *only* the physical and exploring what is inside in terms of our other commonalities aside from just the sexual ones. I, for one, think it's a beautiful thing! (-: But I must admit, I've wondered what has prompted this shift in view.

Several answers have come to mind. As mentioned above, the Been There/Done That/Burned the Teeshirt. Another I found interesting is the idea that men now seek more because they fear the "mortality" of their own sexual abilities. It is a fact that blood flow lessens as we age; it's just that men have a more difficult time disguising this truth than women do at less opportune times.

Bottom line is, I'm not sure of the cause; but as I said, I think it's terrific that this shift is occurring in our lives at this time. Ultimately, don't we *all* simply want someone we can talk to, not just in the bedroom, but out of it, as well?? (After all, speaking candidly, zactly how much time *can* we spend in the bedroom, even on the best of days!? LOL!)

Also as mentioned above, I'm constantly being told I'd "look ten years younger" if I'd dye my gray. Banish the thought! I love gray hair (mine AND yours)!! Yes, I know it makes me "look older"; but, in truth, I *AM* older...so why not go with the flow, eh?? (As I read in a recent email, "I want folks to know there's a REASON I look like this; I've traveled a lot of roads, and not all of them were paved." LOL!)

When asked what I want to be when I grow up, my answer remains the same: "Older. A LOT older." As some wise soul once noted, "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." I have been blessed to have led the life I have led, to have been able to take the road less traveled and enjoy the journey. I am enjoying it still and find myself far better company these days than I ever did in my youth. While my ego is flattered by the attention of younger men, I feel men in my own age group are Da Bomb: well-rounded, well-traveled, GREAT conversationalists with aaaaall that gorgeous gray hair and still tonsa' fun!

So I say rock on, ALL fellow Old-Timers: "... come grow old with me ... the best is yet to be ... "

"May God bless us every one ..." - Tiny Tim
 Dahliakitten
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 25
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Growing old gracefully or just growing old?
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:38:23 AM
Living with dignity and acceptance is more important than validating ourselves from what we look like on the outside.
I have seen some men and some women who look like leather shoe skin due to too much sun exposure. Some with a healthy looking bodies and some with not. And some men and some women who drank too much and did too much drugs look super old and sucked up and really skinny. You cannot generalize women just looking old. Could be you are afraid to get older yourself. You alone may choose to date younger people cuz you are in denial of your own DESTINY of getting older. We all choose our own path to DESTINY. Either through eye vision or spiritual vision.
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