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 AUTHOR
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 1
HEATHERS POETRYPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
The First Poem:20 minutes to a lifetime

You looked into my eye's and told me that you loved me and whenever i was in doubt just close my eyes and i could see you there with me, you told me whenever i was scared just close my eyes and take a deep breath and let it out because you would be there for me. You told me if anything shall happend to you to not fear because you will always love me. You told me that you would be back in 20 minutes and if not dont worry but 20minutes has passed and your no where in sight and then i got a phone call and it was the police they told me to sit down and listen and please dont be scarred but there was an acident. Then i heard your voice in my head telling me to calm down and relax so i got up and went with the police and i had this feeling like something bad has happend to you. When i arrived there at the spot i saw you lying there on the pavement and i bent down to whisper i love you and started to cry but then you told me do not cry i love you and we will make it, and then the ambulance came and picked you up. when we arrived at the hospital i walked in and waited on you but you never came out and then i saw the doctor with eyes so sad and he told me to please sit down there is something i have to tell you, Im sorry but it looks like we done all we could do but your boyfriend has died, I started crying and yelling out for you but you wasnt there but i remember what you told me. If i was ever in doubt close my eye's and i could see you there with me, but there was something i had to tell you i was just waiting for a right moment. I'm pregnant and its a little girl so what am i suppose to tell our baby girl when she crys out for her daddy the sadest thing is that i didnt tell you goodbye or that i love you before you left i never thought 20 minutes could turn into a lifetime i love you and i will never forget you, You was only 20 years old and i was 19 i always thought that i would spend the rest of my life with you.



© Heather Feazel


The Second Poem:Becareful

Everybody told me to be careful with him that he is not what he seem's to be and that he is an dangerious man but what did they know they bearly know him at all and they don't know what he's really like from inside and out all they know is what they have been told, by other's
and they think they know every little thing about him but they don't.

We met through a friend of a friend at first i thought he was a little strange and odd but i blew it off because everybody is different when you'r first meeting them we sat down at the bar to start talking, and get to know one another better through talking.

He sounded like an decent type of man he was very respectful kind and honest and what he had said sounded like it was comming from deep within his heart and soul but little did i know what had happend, that night would have happend the way it did.

We left the bar to go somewhere quiet and to talk without all the loud crowd being around when we headed out the door he stoped me and got infront of me and open the door like a true gentleman should, have at first it sent a bad vibe down my spine the way he rushed infront of me.

Heading out to his truck he kept looking behind him to see if anybody was following us i didn't think much of it so i looked at him and smiled and he had this sparkle look in his eye's i've herd he has been through alot of pain, and hurt but i never knew what would have happend that night after we left the bar was to happend.

We got to his truck and he opend the door for me and waited until i got settled in the truck and he shut my door rushed to his side of the truck got in as quickly as possible and slammed and locked, the doors again i thought nothing of it.

So we started heading away from the parking lot of the bar and he started to speed up a little bit faster i just thought maybe he has alway's drove this way but he didn't slow down we came to an redlight, and he slammed on his brake's makeing my stomach tie in knot's.

We finnaly made it to where we was going and when we had pulled up he was still acting like the gentleman he was in the begining of the meet he got out of the truck and walked over to my side and, slowly open the door and let me out.

He told me he had an wonderful time tonight and he wishes this night would never have to end and then he closed my door and gave me the key to the hotel room that he had rented for the night, he told me go in make myself at home and he'll be in when he get's the stuff out of the truck.

I walked into the room and notice there was one king size bed the lights was off so i tryed switching on the light's it took it a minute to come on but it came on and he walked up behind me, with an black leather bag.

He told me to close my eye's he has something specialy for me so i did as i was told to do he reached in the bag and grab the blindfold and put it over my eye's where i couldn't see nothing, but pitch black he threw me on the bed with my leggs tied and hands behind my back.

He turned up the radio as loud as it would go so nobody could hear my scream or cry for help then he grabbed a knife out of his bag and started cutting my clothe's off with the knife peice's by peice's, the whole time it was happending i kept hearing my friend's voice saying
becareful over and over.

I preyed the lord if i ever escape from this i will not just brush off what my friend's tell me and i will listen to the message more clearly and i'm sorry for being the way i was toward's her, i wonder how could this happend i'm only 21 year's old and he looked like he was only 27.

When i got free i grabbed the knife and gashed him in the knee makeing him fall to his knee's
and ran out the door and called the police and told them what had happend, the police arrived at the place and found out he was in his late 50's and told me i was one of the
lucky one's i made it out alive.

It's been 7 year's later and i've moved out and started a new life and now i watch behind me every step i take and i never leave my house alone i don't even go out to have fun anymore i still wish i would have, listen to what my friend's told me that night.

Maybe i would not have had to go through that pain and all those hour's of fearing for my life a few day's have passed and i get a phone call from an person i have never herd of in my life and his voice, was so rusty and he whisperd the word's "i'm back".




© Heather Feazel



Baby On The Way!


She's all alone fearing nobody acturly care's anymore about her or the baby all she hear's from everybody around, is how she does not know what she's getting into with haveing a baby.

The father away for a very long time without any other contact other than writting one another back and forth, forced to try to move on with her life for her and the baby's sake.

She's trying so hard to remember all the good time's they once share before he got locked up and all, the promise's that was made before the burden came along.

Deep down inside she know's that he will be home soon so she try's to keep her faith and not worry so much about him being locked up, and not being able to see him or even kiss him goodnight.

Thing's arent what they use to be anymore she has not slept since the night he had to go away leaving her and their unborn child for, god know's how long it may take.

She try's to not worry or think about all the bad time's they have been through and what all has happend since the day he's been in that hell hole but, at night time it get's harder for her to just forget it and move on with her life.

People keep telling her how she need's to move on with her life and worry about her and the baby and she try's so hard to ignore what she's being told, because she know's everything will be okay when he's out and he's back home.

She wonder's how thing's will be when their baby is born and if he never get's to arrive back home until ten or fifteen year's, later and how their child will react when he or she does not get to meet their daddy until they are 10 or 15 year's old.

She still remember's the night it all took place when she begged him not to leave the house that night and the word's he told her and how he will, be back in 30 minute's and that he loves her and kisses her goodbye.

Now she's left all alone with nobody who actually care's about how she is feeling or what she's going through and how this will affect, their unborn child and how it feel's like he will never return home.

© Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 2
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/13/2006 11:52:24 PM
Thank you. I love you'r writting's,they are impresive.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 3
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/14/2006 6:57:09 PM
Thank you "poet" i will i didn't think about spaceing my last one i posted,
on here because it never crossed my mind. And sometimes my space bar doesn't,
wan't to work.




Without Warning


Someone please tell me that i'm dreaming and that this can't be real, i wroke up this morning from the sound of my mom standing over my bed.


She was on the phone and i noticed this look in her eye's she bearly said a word, then i saw a tear roll down her face.


I asked mom what was wrong and she just looked at me, and told me come down stairs i have something imporant to tell you.


I got dressed came down stair's when i saw her sitting on the couch, still crying and her face expression was so sad.


I sat down got more awroke and she took my hand and told me, she had some bad new's to tell me.


She said please do not cry but mark's mom called her this moring still looking sad, bearly could breathe she looked at me with dark sad eye's.


She told me that i need to go down to the hospital this moring that mark, was in the hospital.

I asked her what had happend and she just looked at me and walked away, all i kept thinkin was maybe he came down sick or maybe he went to check on someone he knew that was in the hospital.


I arrived at the hospital and when i walked in i saw mark's mom sitting in the waiting room with, the rest of his family they all looked sad and the look you have when you been crying to much.


I walked over and asked mark's mom what was going on and she looked at me and right there i could tell what had happend, she told me that mark went off this morning and when he came back home he was all messed up.


I started to cry and she said it will be okay just remember, how much you meant to him as a friend. she told me that mark got jumped pretty bad and the people who did it just left him there to bleed to death, i looked at her and asked how could someone like mark be done this way.


Someone so sweet and caring and would do anything in the world for someone then she told me that they don't think he would make it.


I wonder how am i suppose to go on with my life and get through the day when the, only person i could count on and knew he be by my side is dying.


We saw the doctor and he came into the waiting room and had told us all that mark only has, a few day's to live.

I droped down on my knee's and prayed to god that if he let mark live i promise i make more time and i understand, whenever he didn't wan't to go places.


I should have told you more often how much you meant to me then maybe it make this alot easier to deal with, but i can not go back in time and change the way thing's was.


I'm sorry i never took the time to tell you how i exactly felt toward's you all i can do, is pray and hope that you know how i felt and i know i should be happy for you because you'r in much greater place than we all are.


No one can harm you or make you cry or even make you get in those moods where you just feel like giving up,i should be happy that i found someone so special as you are you meant the whole world to me and i wish i could have just told you how i felt.

By: Heather R Feazel

This is one of my poem's and i think it, suck's it could use ALOT of work.






 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 4
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:24:54 PM
Addiction

There is this guy who has everything going for him but something in his past, keep's him from making his dream's come true.

You wish you could stop but the more you think about you'r past the more you wan't to have just one more drink but sooner or later you know that just one more drink is going to be reason you'r in the grave.

You try so hard to ease the pain but nothing seem's to be helping you get through all the shit you have going on in you'r life and all you wan't to do is , forget all the memory's of you'r past.

You go to bed at night and you can't seem t sleep because everytime you close you'r eye's all you can see is the bad shit that has happend in you'r past so you get out of bed and go into the kitchen, and pour another drink.

You have so many problem's that you do not wan't no one to know about but no matter how hard you try to hide them in the bottom of a bottle it still find's a way to show even tho you think you'r stong enough to get through it someone who can see deep down in you'r soul know's there's something wrong, with you and want's to help you out but she doesn't know what to say or how to help you so she just try's to ignore it and hope's that you will be okay.

You don't seem to be you'r selve around other people and all you wan't to do is crawl up into a little ball and die but there's someone who know's how you feel and is living the same life as you are but you don't think she understand's how you feel and what all you'r going through so you try to put on a fake smile and pass it off as a real smile and that deep down inside you'r really okay but, she know's you better than that and she know's that deep down inside you'r dying every minute of the day and night you tell her you'r okay and not to worry but she can see what's really going on with you so you go back home and pour another drink and you start to write a letter.

You can't seem to stop drinking you'r wishing that every drink you take will ease the pain and memory of everything that has happend in you'r life but the truth is it's not and she's worry about you and she know's if you keep this up then one day you'r not going to awake from you'r sleep and she will have so many unanswered question's and never know the reason, in why she did not or could not help you so she prey's for you and hope's that everything will be okay by the morning time.

The next day arrive's and she call's you but she doesn't get no answer and she start's to think maybe she should just stop by but she think's maybe you will call her and that maybe you'r still sleeping so the hour's start to pass and sooner it end's up getting later during the day, so she pick's up the phone and call's you but still no answer so she hang's up and head's out to you'r place and she arrive's there and walk's in and see's you laying on the bed with you'r face so blue and you'r eye's so red and she see's the letter you wrote to her.

She pick's up the letter and it say's i'm sorry for what i have done i know you'r miss me and you love me but there was something that had to be done and again i am sorry for what i have done please do not cry for me because i couldn't find another way out and i couldn't go through with everyone thinking i was a nobody and just another drunk in the world so i did us both and the world a favor, i put it all to a end and now you me and everyone else can live our life without having to worry eachday rather i will wake up from the night before or rather you would find me dead in my bed.

She doesn't know what to do now and she doesn't know how to ease the pain so she find's a gun that is under you'r bed and before she put's her life to a end she write's a letter to whom it may concern and tell's them the same thing that was in you'r letter and to please do not worry because i had to help a friend out but i couldn't he took his own life and i couldn't let him die alone so please do not cry because me and him are happier and alot better off because now were finnaly togeather, so before you all start to blame you'r self please don't i had to help him i could not let him walk through this alone i love him so much and i love you all so please do not cry for this is the end of mine and his life goodbye forever and we both love you all.






© Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 5
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/14/2006 10:44:01 PM
Glass Tears

You told me youd never loved me and that you never cared about me but what about all those time's you would come over and stay for hours sometime's untill 12 midnight, you made me so happy and you made my life so much better when you was around.

You said you never wan't to talk to me or see me again and you said that we never had anything togeather but how come i'm the only one who seem's to, see thing's differnt i may be wrong but wasn't it you who asked me out and who begged me could you come over and meet my family.

Now you say you don't wan't anything to do with me or even see me and i need to leave you alone but i can't because i fell for you and i fell for, all of you'r lie's and you'r charming smile.


You said you would never hurt me and you'r not like the rest and that you love me and you'r never leave me but i was stupiod enough to fall for it again, you are the most imporant thing in my life and the only one i have tooken as much hell off of.

You said you'r not like the rest and that you'r not an player and when you'r with a person than she's the only girl you are with and think about and again i fell for it the way kissed me and held me in you'r arm's just felt so real and so right and like i finnaly have found someone, who acturly loved me and didn't need me to change.

Here lately all i seem to be doing is crying everynight before i go to bed i even wake up crying and my heart and chest hurt's so bad all i do is dream about you and see you'r face everywhere i go even tho you'r not there.

I don't see how you can love me for months and then turn around and say you never cared about me and never loved me i thought we was so happy and that you really cared about me but i guess i was to blinded by you'r charm and the way you acted around me as if i was the only girl in you'r heart everyone always asked me why do i take all this hell off of you and how, come i just don't end it right now but the truth is i love you and i never stoped loving you even tho there was time's where i wanted to kill myselve or you but i knew we could get through the problem's.

Everyone was alway's in our problem's and they never let us deal with our problems alone they always found an way to get into our live's and try to control us but we alway's seemed to make it through and how everytime we was togeather you always said i love you but now you say you didn't mean it and that i was just some, girl you used for sex how can you mess with someone's emotion's and their heart when you left me you tore my heart into an million piece's and you never once had any guilt inside you about doing me this way.

Now everytime i'm alone all i can do is think about you and whenever i fall asleep you always on my mind and it just make's it harder because i love you so much and i know i can not have you back i'm not even you'r friend anymore you said i'm the one who screws up but the way i see it you'r the one who ****ed up you could have been honest in the start, but you had to go find your selve someone else i never gave my heart to anyone as much as i did you i loved you more than i loved my own life i would have done anything for you.

By:Heather Rae Feazel
8-12-04


Glass Tears
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 6
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/14/2006 10:49:07 PM
Free For All


There she stand's in the middle
of a strange place
with tear's rolling down her
face makeing
her makeup smeer,
with the
shortest
article of clotheing on.

Free for all to see and to judge
or do whatever they wan't with
her, sometime's i wonder when i
pass down the road and see her.

What if that was somebody's little
girl out there and her mom/dad,
had no idea how she is makeing

her money to pay them rent.

Every six month's at only 14
i wonder what kind of person
would, have their own daughter
standing out there on the street's.

For the whole world and every
man/woman to see that poor
girl, trying to do her best.

Just so she can put food on
the table at night, to please
her family.

Not knowing that their daughter
at only 14 year's old, is expecting
a son/daughter of her own on the way.


By: Heather R Feazel.
2-6-06




Here it goes again another cold night another, couple fighting i wonder what happend to their love that was so strong in the start.

I Close my eye's and start to prey please don't let another great couple's realtionship go down the pipes, i hear her yelling from across the hall and see him begging her not to leave.

I wonder what happend to them they was so inlove nothing could ever come between them now all you hear from them, is fighting and hatefull words about eachother.

She tell's him she never meant to fall inlove with him and if she could live that day all over again, she would have never even tooken the chance a tear start's to roll down his face and he try's to be strong and not to cry.

He begs of her just one last chance to proove his love to her and show her how much she truly means to him, but she ignores all his word's and all his feeling's and just walk's away.

I start to wonder even more about the couple and how could they go from being the happiest couple in the world from not being able to look at one another she start's yelling even more louder, that she wishes he would just go away and leave her alone that she was happier without him in her life.

He walk's down the hall still crying inside and outside and thought's keep running through his mind of how could we have ended like this, my one and only true love now you see me on my hand's and knees begging you just one more chance and you just look at me and walk away.


A few day's passes by and she's all alone in the appartment and she hear's there song on the radio and she start's to wonder how in the world could she have gave up the one true, person who has made her happy every sense the first time she laid eye's on him. She see's him walking down the street with this frown upon his face and she feel's even more guilty and she walk's over there to, see if he's okay and if they could talk he just look's into her eye's and tell's her no just leave me alone please you broke my heart once and if i let you back in you'r just do it all over again.

Now she's the one laying down on her bed everynight with tear's comming out of her eye's and wondering why did she throw away the best year, of her life and the only person who could make her truly happy.

He used to think that he would never get over her and that there would be no one else like her to walk into his life here it is a year later down the road, and he's married to the girl who love's him back as much love he used to have for the one who broke his heart.

He look's out the window and see's the girl who he used to love walking down the road with another guy and she look's so unhappy, and so confused but he start's to smile because he now know's what it feels like to be truly happy and to be truly loved.

He ask his self over and over how could that have happend to two people who was once so inlove and so perfect for one another and in one moment turn around and be separated.


Lover's Quarel
By:Heather Feazel
7-29-04
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 7
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/14/2006 11:46:51 PM
You are a very sweet/kind young man and i thank you for those word's you written to me on here i hope some of my poem's send's comfort to you and warmth to you during the hard time's in you'r life and whatever may cross you'r path, that seem's just to hard to overcome.


I wish you and all the very best of luck in life and in love
i know someday everybody will find that one person who they,
have been searching for all their live's.


 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 8
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/16/2006 2:34:13 AM
The Price Of Love

Alone in the darkness she cry's out for you she tosses and turns all thru the night she start's to reach out for you but realizes, you'r not there tonight so she close's her eye's and tear's began to flow down her face like an stream or water.

She hear's an sound late at night and she wonder's if the sound she hear's is you trying to come in and be close to her but she holds up her arm's but doesn't feel anything or anyone, so again she close's her eye's and try's to sleep but she can't get the thought of you off her mind.

She remember's what you told her in the start that this is only an one night stand don't get attached to me but she can't help but not to think that its just an one time thing because every moment she's spending with, you she's fallen more and more inlove with you.

Little does she know that you'r having problem's of you'r own as well the woman you go home to everynight and is married to doesn't feel the same way toward's you anymore yall sleep on differnt bed's, and is alway's having some sort of disagreement.

You finnaly get tired of being torn between two women you care deeply about and you draw the line and you tell the girl you'r having an affair with that you hate this and you can't seem to sleep at night because the guilt is tearing you apart whenever you'r lying next to you'r wife all you wan't to do is just reach out to her and put you'r arm across her body and tell her that you love her and how you never, meant to hurt her by having someone else on the side but at the same time yo don't wan't to hurt the woman you'r having the affair with and she look's into you'r eye's and tell's you i can't help it i have fallen inlove with you and i'm all twisted up inside also because i knew when this first took place that you was just looking for something on the side you wasn't wanting to take it this far and i'm sorry i agreed to be the other lady.

How can you expect me lay here on the bed we made love in more than 3 time's an night and not think about you or the first time you touched me and how wonderful it felt to be in you'r arm's you have to realize that you have two women here and only one heart you can give so before you go off to be with the woman you married you should really sit down and think about what has just happend and how you became wrapped up into this all, but before you go i must tell you something you'r not the only one with the deep dark secret burried deep inside of you'r soul you see i'm an married lady myselve but it's not the same as you'r i seen you around town with you'r wife and you look so inlove and the sparkle in yall's eye's is so bright.

You think you'r the only one who is going insane here but you'r not i can't sleep and i can't eat all i do is think and dream about the first night it all happend my husband was out of town on bussiness and you told you'r wife you had to go out on some buissness trip but you knew you was comming here and so did you'r wife but she never wanted to tell you because, she was hoping that you would be man enough to tell her what you have been doing behind her back but little did we both knew my husband and you'r wife has been having the same affair we had going on they just was like us they couldn't confess to it because they loved us both so verry much.

Everytime when i would close my eye's and lay next to my husband all i could see was you'r face and you'r body laying next to me and it made the guilt even more harder because i truly do love my husband but i needed an little more than he could give me just like you needed the same that you'r wife couldn't provide for you so before, you go and start blaming you'rselve just remember everyone make's mistakes and everyone's forgivin but the one thing i never told you was about the last night of our affair i was 2month's pregant and the baby is due any moment now so what am i suppose do and how am i going to tell our baby about the life i brought her up into.

You see i didn't know about the pregancy until it was to late and you had already walked out of my life but i just had to tell you and that you'r going to be a father but when i think about it i wonder how's this baby going to feel about us and knowing the only reason she was born was because two people obessing for eachother's affection couldn't stop when it was time to stop, what is she going to think of us her father married to another lady and her mom in everyone's eye's is nothing but an cheap thrill an whore who would do anything for just one more night of passion again.


By:Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 9
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/19/2006 2:28:09 AM
Escape

You'r laying awake in you'r bed and thought's keep running through you'r mind and all you can seem to hear is everyone, being on you'r case everytime you turn around you always seem to screw up somehow.

You feel like you have to walk on thin ice just so you won't make anyone made you start to think of differnt thing's but somehow, it's still on you'r mind and it's like it's everywhere you go it's haunting you'r dreams at night all you wan't to do is escape but you can't.

So you sit up and try thinking about an way to escape and it runs across you'r mind about maybe if you start to cut just maybe it will release the hate and all the anger you, have inside of you for people you'r alway's around.

You start to cut and keep on cutting and now you'r bed is filled with blood and you'r sheets are stained with dark blood and you look down at you'r body and all you see is the blood you'r covered in you start to, freak out and you get even more pissed because you hear them in there sitting around and ****ing about the little shit you do.

So once more you pick up the razor blade and you start cutting even more and over and over again on the same wound you have busted wide open, it start's to burn but you keep cutting thinking that just maybe it make the pain will go away again.


This time the wound heeld up and they almost back to normal and something inside you'r mind just explodes and you can't take anymore of it but you promised yourself in the start, if you make it through this time you'll never cut again.

But something keeps on haunting you over and over again until you come to the point and realize you can't take no more you can't handle anything else screwing up in you'r life so once more you reach for the blade and you start cutting over the healed up wonds on you'r body, and once more they bust open and this time you have really gone to far way beyond help you'r laying there in you'r own blood drowning and choking on it because you have cut so many time's that it's never acturly healed up.

You start thinking to yourself what have i done now and would anyone miss me or even cry at my funneral i know i took it to far this time because i can't even feel my body i'm numb all over and i can't feel any emotion or even cry out for help, so you lay back on you'r blooded sheets and the blood rushing out of you'r body and you close you'r eye's and you'r soul finnaly leave's your body.

You thought you'r be happier now that you have no more problem's and no more pain but there's still one problem and one pain that is getting to you now, you never thought about how would one person you care about most in you'r family react to this and how would this screw up her mind.

You arrive and you ask for forgiveness and just one last chance to tell the one you left behind how much you love her and how much you was proud to be an aunt to her, but god turns around and say's i'm sorry you should have thought about this before you took you'r obession to far you fall on your hands and knees and beg him please i'm sorry just give me one more chance.

He look's at you and say's there is no more chance no more time to spend with you'r loved one's no more happy moments with the one you left behind, no more tears to cry no more heartache and no more problem's in you'r life.

So here i am take my hand and i'll lead you to an place where everyone's happy everyone say's what they feeling and everyone get's to see their loved one's who have passed, and their loved one's by watching over them every night and day.



"Escape"

By:Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 10
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/19/2006 5:34:07 AM
The Gates Of Hell

You wan't see it comming it will come to you at the darkest hour's and sneak up on you like an rat in the sewer just waiting for the perfect moment, to sneak up behind you and take it's core you wan't feel it's veins sinking into you'r skin because it be to late for you to realize what has happend.

You think it will never happend to you but you'r wrong because once you let you'r guard down it will be right there waiting and there's no way to fight, it or escape it you'r just have to deal with the results that it causes.

You think you have a while before it catches up to you and that it will never hit you but it will sooner than you expecting it to you always said that it couldn't happend to you, and that you was one of the lucky one's but you don't know how hard it's going to hit you and when it finnaly does you'r wish you would never have spoken those word's.

You'r lying there in the tub and you dose off and not knowing what could happend you still sound asleep and you wake up with the tub filled with blood and you start to panic and scream but no one can you hear you'r screams or you'r cry's you start to yell out and fight for you'r, dear life but no matter how loud you scream and how hard you fight you can't stop it from taking you and making you'r life after death a living hell.

You start to ask why did this have to happend to you and how come you never got the chance to say goodbye to the one's you loved and then it hit's you and you start to cry and someone tell's you because, those time's you preyd that god above would just take you already and get you away from this hell and pain well he finnaly listened to you and that's why you'r here.

You start to cry and scream that no this i can't be happing this can't be real but there's nothing you can do now because for once something you asked for has finnaly be granted yeah it might not be the thing, you wanted but you asked for it and now you have to suffer and take you'r resonsablity so say goodbye to the one's you love and kiss them one last time for you will never return to see this so called hell hole you use to call home.

So no more i love you's before bed no more getting up at anytime you wan't and no more having someone to look after you and keep you out of shit with the law for now you will burn in enternal hell, everyday of you'r life in the gates of hell.




© Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 11
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/19/2006 6:05:22 AM
True Love Awakened

You'r sitting outside waiting on you'r friend to come out and all you can think about is wanting her to hurry up so you can get out of this place then suddenly you see this guy walking down the sidewalk and you notice his eye's when he glances at you and he smile's at you and it send's chill's down you'r spine you do not know him but you wan't to so you take the chance of catcing up with him and you two sit down at a table and start talking and the minutes fly by as quick as the day end's and night begans you feel like you known this guy all you'r life, the way he makes you smile and the way he makes you feel alive on the inside suddenly you get this feeling inside of you and it wan't go away so you ask him would he would like to go get a bite to eat while you'r both waiting.

When you look into his eye's it's like you see you'r life unfolding minute by minute the way he make's you feel on the inside and out is like nothing you have ever felt before and you start to think maybe you two could become something but you start thinking that it's to soon but everytime you look into his eye's you get lost inside of his eye's and the hours fly by, so quickly and you forget about you'r friend at the hospital and then you come back to the real world and you notice the time so you tell him you have go pick up you'r friend and he ask's you if he could come along.

You smile and tell him yes so on the way back to get you'r friend you feel someone looking at you and you glance over and you see him smiling while staring into you'r eye's and you'r whole body becomes numb and you'r heart starts pounding and you start to shake a little and he notice's it and put's his hand on you'r, legg and suddenly all the emotion's start to slow down and you take a deep breathe.

You arrive at the hospital to get you'r friend and she ask's you what took you so long and you tell her you'r explain it later and you would like her to meet taylor so she ask's you how did you two meet and you tell her the story and from then on out you two was always togeather.

You take you'r friend home and taylor ask's you what would you like to do now and you look at him and said i'm not sure what about you and he say's it's up to you so you and him go find this quiet place where no one is around and you lay down looking up at the stars and he reaches over to kiss you, and you feel you'r heart beating faster and faster and suddenly it's over and you look into his eye's and say this has been the most perfect day of my life thank's.

You get up heading back to you'r car and he walk's over to you'r car and ask's if everything's okay and you smile at him and say yes and how this day could not be anymore perfect than it already is and he smiles at you and reaches over to kiss you and you close you'r eye's and it happend's you'r laying down on the blanket on the ground and you see a shooting star and he ask's you would you be his and you start thinking and you hesitate for a while and then he take's you'r hand and say's don't be afraid i wan't hurt you i pormise, then you look deep into his eye's and it's like you can see yourselve being with him, and the picture look's so perfect and you say yes to him and then the two of you get up and drive to you'r place.

You arrive home and notice's there in you'r yard is you'r ex boyfriend's truck and you say oh god not tonight and taylor ask's you are you okay and you say yes but my ex boyfriend is here and he wan't leave me alone and he's dangerous then taylor get's out of the car and open's you'r door and take's you by the hand and walk's up to you'r ex boyfriend and ask's him would you please leave, because you'r making her nervis and she does not wan't you around and you'r ex looks at taylor and start's yelling and then the two of you walk inside and lock the door and taylor kisses you'r forehead and tell's you do not worry because i'm here to protect you and watch over you i will never let anything terrible happend to you.

You smile and whipe you'r tear from you'r eye's and you go and sit down on the couch and taylor follow's you and the two of you are curled up on the couch watching an flick on tv and he move's closer to you and starts to kiss you on the lip's and you can feel his heart beating faster and faster and you close you'r eye's and all you can see is his face and the two, of you living out your lives togeather and he open's his eye's and say's i'm fallen for you i can't help it.

You take his hand and tell him don't be afraid to let it show i'll never hurt you and i'll never leave you'r side i'm sorry i didn't tell you this before but i started feeling the same way and he start's to cry and you whipe his tear's and gaze into his eye's and said don't worry i'm here and you there will never be a day that you will be upset for i'll always be by you'r side a few month's later pases and he ask's you will you marry him and you smile and look into, his eye's and say yes and the two of you get married and then two week's later you end up pregant and it's a little girl the two of you are so happy and then taylor ask's you have you herd from you'r ex lately and you say no and he smile's and say's that's good maybe he got the point that you are finnaly happy without him being in you'r life.

The fact that you have found someone who love's you more than word's can say and more than anything on this earth and that you'r better off without him because you found you'r angel from above to love and hold you until the end of our lives and i promise, you that i'll never leave you or our baby katie once you get me you get me until the day our lives end i'm not going anywhere i love you sweetheart you made me the happiest guy on the planet and i'm so glad we took the chance that day at the hospital i promise you the world and i'll do my hardest to keep all the promise's i make to you i love you so much baby.


True Love Awakened
By: Heather R Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 12
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/20/2006 10:24:08 PM
The Letter:



Dearst Heather,

Upon receiving your letter i knew in an instant who you were even though we never met.
I knew everytime jeremy talked about you.

wheather i heard your name or not, because
of the way his eyes would light up even more so by the very mention of your name.

He thought of you in a very special way and he never got that close too many people. He was very selective in who he called a close friend.

To tell you the truth i felt he thought of you as more than a friend although he never said. He told me many times that he would love nothing more than for us too meet you and i would feel priviege to have that happend one day.

I know i will never be able too completely come to term's with his death but to see and hear from one of the one's that he loved so much is more help than you knoe.

Your letter was not only a comfront but also a joy to recive. I know that jeremy touched alot of lives and made many people happy for that is what he did the best.

Although i don't know many of them i feel that maybe your letter will be the start of something very special in my life in remembering my son.

Please feel free to write me anytime you sense the need for i will be especially glad to hear from you if you would like to know the details of jeremy death and where his finial resting place is you can call me and i will be more than happy to tell you anything that i know.

I pray god bless you and you'rs for what you have done for me this day with something so simple and a pencil and peice of paper.

Loveingly Jeremy's Mom.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 13
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/20/2006 10:49:35 PM
You have an awsome poem i liked it,
and felt the true meaning of the poem.

Thank you for shareing it.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 14
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/20/2006 10:57:03 PM
Here is another one of my poem's,
i just thought i would share.


Nothing Inside

Walking around with this huge smile upon you'r face no one, know's rather your truly happy or just holding back the pain. You walk around all day long with an smile on you'r face like the time, you had just found out the worst new's in the world you was smilin from ear to ear.

You sit there and say you'r happy and put up this fake smile but at night, all you can feel upon you'r face is wetness from the tear's that have fallen down the night before you try to act as if everything's okay and smile and go on but there's something missing inside of you'r soul from the tear's that have fallen down the night before.

You try to act as if everything's okay and smile and go on but there's something missing inside of you'r soul. You lye awake at night in you'r bed with an million thought's running thru you'r mind, you close you'r eye's hopeing that they will disapear but when you open you'r eye's you can still feel all the problem's laying on you'r chest.

You try to think of happy thought's of what it was like when you used to be happy and used to have friend's but now the friend's you once knew have all vanished into the night and you wonder, if it is something that you have done or said to them to make them just all go away all at one time you try to smile and forget you'r past and the hurt that it has brought upon you but no matter how hard you try forget or make it go away it's in you'r dream's haunting you until you wake up cold and shaking and can not take no more.

You think of way's to just escape it all just one little way you could escape everything but nothing seem's to work you think that maybe if you just closed you'r eye's just try to think of something else for a second of two that, just maybe all this pain and all you'r problem's will go away but when you open you'r eye's all you'r problem's are standing infront of you and they have all came back ontop of you 10x's harder than before.

You get to the point where you can not stand no more and you start to think who would care rather you lived or died and what difference would it make if you was here or gone at one time you use to feel loved you used to feel this, love that was so strong and so deep inside you'r heart but now it's nothing there it's all gone even your cute smile the way you used to laugh and smile the way you would walk like you was the happiest person on this earth it's all sliped away right along with you'r cold body on the inside.

There was people who used to say you was the happiest person they knew that was still alive and the only person who could make them laugh at rough time's and at funnerial's but here lately all we, seem to see upon you'r face is the cold dark frown and we do not know what's wrong or how to help you we keep thinking that one day you will brake free and you will be back to you'r ole self again.

Little did we know that time was running out just as your whole body was giving in it couldn't take no more you couldn't pretend to be happy you couldn't stand to lay there in bed every nite and cry you'rself to sleep, we alway's thought it will pass that you wouldn't be like this forever but one morning we went into you'r room and we saw you laying there blue in the face body an pale color and we knew right then in there what have happend to you.

You left us an letter and told us how sorry you was for doing this and how you knew we would be upset but you couldn't fake it any longer you couldn't sit there and pretend to be happy and smile, when on the inside you was already dead we loved you and we knew that we didn't know how to help you but we will miss you forever and always we hope you are happier and in an better place.

You left us at such an young age we never thought that you would do this to use but an week later after you'r death we found the letter you have wrote us an few day's before you took you'r life. What it said inside the letter made us cry and it made us sad you said you wasn't happy anymore you'r life is just one big mess and you never feel like you used to and your sorry for making all of our live's one big hell hole after another you asked us, could we please tell the one you loved so dearly that you forgive her for doing the thing's she did to you we don't know what she did and right now that doesn't matter all is forgiving and you made us see just how special friend's and family is to us all.


© Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 15
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:29:58 PM
Just thought i would post another one of my poem's,
on my thread hope you all enjoy them.

~The Gates Of Hell~

You wan't see it comming it will come to you at the darkest hour's and sneak up on you like an rat in the sewer just waiting for the perfect moment, to sneak up behind you and take it's core you wan't feel it's veins sinking into you'r skin because it be to late for you to realize what has happend.

You think it will never happend to you but you'r wrong because once you let you'r guard down it will be right there waiting and there's no way to fight, it or escape it you'r just have to deal with the results that it causes.

You think you have a while before it catches up to you and that it will never hit you but it will sooner than you expecting it to you always said that it couldn't happend to you, and that you was one of the lucky one's but you don't know how hard it's going to hit you and when it finnaly does you'r wish you would never have spoken those word's.

You'r lying there in the tub and you dose off and not knowing what could happend you still sound asleep and you wake up with the tub filled with blood and you start to panic and scream but no one can you hear you'r screams or you'r cry's you start to yell out and fight for you'r, dear life but no matter how loud you scream and how hard you fight you can't stop it from taking you and making you'r life after death a living hell.

You start to ask why did this have to happend to you and how come you never got the chance to say goodbye to the one's you loved and then it hit's you and you start to cry and someone tell's you because, those time's you preyd that god above would just take you already and get you away from this hell and pain well he finnaly listened to you and that's why you'r here.

You start to cry and scream that no this i can't be happing this can't be real but there's nothing you can do now because for once something you asked for has finnaly be granted yeah it might not be the thing, you wanted but you asked for it and now you have to suffer and take you'r resonsablity so say goodbye to the one's you love and kiss them one last time for you will never return to see this so called hell hole you use to call home.

So no more i love you's before bed no more getting up at anytime you wan't and no more having someone to look after you and keep you out of shit with the law for now you will burn in enternal hell, everyday of you'r life in the gates of hell.


By:Heather Feazel
8-15-04
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 16
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:02:58 AM
Thank you "om"

I'm going to post a poem that "om" has written
out for me because i could not put it into word's the way,
they have did.

perfectly broken

we may not be perfect
many lessons to learn
as life does its test
we learn from the burn

you see us together
and you have to butt in
make scenes of care
for your own comforting

try as you might
and said with respect
please butt out
for its ours to collect

By:Om
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 17
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/24/2006 1:59:38 AM
~Soul Mates~

Soul Mates once
is what i thought
we was, it
seemed so pefect in
the beginning.

How could it have
all went down hill
so fast and, loosing
everything so quickly.

When we first met you stole
my heart and made me feel
those feeling's, that i never
thought existed inside of me.

Here goes almost 3year's
down the road and i still
wonder how could we
have been soulmate's,
and now to the point
where we can not
stand one another/family.

I said i loved you and i was
never going to leave you and
i'm not but sometime's i wonder,
if it was acturly "soulmates" or
was it just suppose to happend
for a reason.

There are time's at night and day
that all i think about is wanting out
of it all so much, but there's no
turning back now we have a little
one on the way we have to think and
worry about.

What was once felt like nothing or
nobody in the entire world could tear
apart or come between, now just feels
like a have to be in it for the baby.

I thought you'r family was alright at
first you'r mom sounded like an type
of lady i could, get along with and
you'r family seemed like the type
that was alot like mines.

Now i'm starting to think and wonder
how could they be this cold hearted
i never thought, i would hate my soulmate's
family or dislike them as much as i do you'rs
at time's.

I wan't you to know i still love you
and i'm trying my hardest to hold on
and make this realtionship, work
because i wan't you to be my soulmate
and my husband forever but that does
not mean, that i have to love you'r family.


By: Heather Feazel
2-8-06
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 18
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/24/2006 11:52:34 PM
Terror In The Dark

Take a look at what you done to me look deep inside of my soul the girl you once knew who wasn't afraid of anything and who could close her eye's, and see nothing in the world could harm her but now every time she closes her eye's all she can see is darkness and hatred.

The girl you once knew who was so peaceful and happy not afraid of anything now can't seem to fall asleep at night because she's paranoid, that even in her dreams you'll come after her.

The girl you once knew wasn't afraid to show her face in public and not afraid to meet new people now stay's inside locked in her bedroom becayse she's so frighting that the, police will find her and lock her up or that you will follow her and try to kill her like you are always threating to do.

The girl who was so happy and who always had a smile upon her face now walk's around with the world on her chest and is always cutting herselve, because the guy she once loved and still does want's nothing to do with her.

She now sleep's with an knife under her pillow because she's afraid that you may come to her house late at night and try to kill her she cry's every night and she's constantly shaking and when she finnaly does fall asleep she wakes up, in tear's and shaking all over she finnaly get's fed up with it all and she start's to cut but this time she cuts to deep and she can't stop the blood from flowing.

The morning arrives and she's not waking up nobody or nothing can seem to wake her up and then her family notices a letter on her table that written "you tryed to kill me and you scared me so bad that i wanted to brake free from it all even from you, so before you get the chance to do it i did it for you so please the one's i love don't cry for me because i was already dead befored i ended it".
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 19
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:51:01 PM
Thank you that is an awsome poem
and admire the beauty, and true meaning
of the poem.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 20
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:16:14 PM
Thank you mandrake48 you take care as well and
keep you'r head up never, let something/somebody bring you down.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 21
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:26:40 PM
Before i post "this" poem i just want to say this is just a POEM it, does not mean that i like/think about the idea of this happending to kid's. (It's just a poem that SPEAKS the truth that what does happend, to SOME kid's today all around the world.)


Dirty!

Little boy looking so pretty today Little boy don't you wan't to come over and see me and play with my big nife stick you always loved so much Little boy don't be frighten it won't hurt you that bad Little boy please don't cry i promise you in the end you will enjoy everything we done togeather Little boy looking so pretty please say you'r come out today and let me take you riding on the longest ride you will ever have of you'r life Little boy please don't back, away i won't hurt you and i promise you after you get done riding and if you feel dirty i'll take you inside and run you warm bath water Little boy tell me you can keep this secret if you go foward with all the Plans i have for you and i.

Little boy don't cry now you won't be in pain much longer i promise you i'll take away the pain just one more time.

Little boy please just one last time is all i ask of you so say you get down and play with me.

Little boy please don't go and tell you'r mommy she will never have to know all the great games we played togeather, and if you don't like it i promise you we will quit playing if you wan't to little boy please say you enjoy it as much as i do you'r golden blonde hair blowing like a kite durning spring time.

Little boy wan't you come over to my house just one last time and we can go shopping or go to the park i know this great little quiet place in the park where no one can bother you and you can laugh and be loud, all you wan't without anyone yelling at you and telling you to quieting down.

Little boy once so loud and outrages who would try anything, once please say you'r come back to me the way you use to be when we would spend hour's togeather just talking and having fun.

Little boy when you'r mother ask's you what's wrong wan't you say you was just messing around in a tree and you must have cut you'r self open pretty badly and didn't notice it until now.

Little boy when you'r mother take's you out somewhere wan't you think of me as you see a guy walking down the street, and remeber all the fun game's we use to play.

Little boy please say this isn't the last time i will see you again please tell me that we will still have our moment's and still have time's where it's just me and you all alone talking and laughing like ole time's.

Little boy so pretty and so sweet and so inocent wan't you come back over to my house so i could show you the new bedsheet's, i bought i think they might be you'r favorite kind.

Little boy come over by the bed and lay down and see how commfitble the bed feel's, little boy lay down get relaxed take off you'r shoe's and just lay back and don't feel frighten.

Little boy looking so precious come closer and let me warm you up little boy who can't stop shaking, get closer to my body and let me show you how good it will feel when you'r body isn't shaking half as bad and you'r numb all over.

Little boy please get over here remember i love you and i'll never hurt you little boy please don't scream little boy the pain will not last much longer, when i drive you home and you'r mom see's that you have been crying tell her you ate something that upset you'r stomach and you just wan't to rest remember i love you and i'll never hurt you.




Confessions Of A Broken Heart

Where can i start where should i look to find the one true thing that is missing out of my life,the one true person who will love me for who i am and not just want other shit from our realtionship.

Someone who truly loves me for who i amd and not for what i give or do for them,i once thought i found the perfect guy who had all the thing's i look for and wanted in a guy.

How could i ever been so blind i thought you loved me and wanted me there with you but i guess i was stupiod enough, to fall for all those lie's you told me.

You said you loved me and that i will never be alone or feel sad again i acturly belived all the word's you told me.

You told me how much i meant to you and that i do not have to worry anymore, or cry everynight but how can you say one thing and not mean it.

There was a time when i thought i meant the world to you and that i was all you wanted i was so blinded by your love that i fell for all the thing's you told me.

Where can i go to find a better and peacefull place away from all the trouble's and heartache, where no one ever make's you sad or cry.

You looked into my eye's and told me that everything will be alright and that you love me i still cant belive i fell for all those lie's and the way, you said you loved me and held me in you'r arm's there was no way i could see through you and all the lie's.

You told me that you will never hurt me but how could you say that and then turn around and put me through this much pain, i love you so much but at time's it's like loving you is tearing me apart and driving me insane.


We still are apart and this time it's for good, we went back to just being friend's again but why does it feel like i dont even have you as a close friend, anymore you tell me you'r alway's be here for me whenever i need to talk or need someone.

I just don't see how you can just give up on us so easily after all the pain and hell we went through to make our realtionship work when you left you took a part of me that i never thought would heal up until, you came along my way and made all my problem's ease up and slow down but now you'r gone again and the pain and problems just came back ten more time's harder than before.


Things may not have been as perfect as they seemed whenever we was seeing eachother everyday but you have to admitt that they was not tottaly down the pipe everyday without you feel's like i'm living in hell burning away faster by the second, you said you was not happy but all i have is one thing you need to answer and it is if you was not happy or didn't feel loved back or felt like i was smothering you why didn't you just come out and be honest and tell me that you need some time apart to settle thing's inside you'r head and yeah go ahead and laugh because i fell for all the thing's you told me when "settleing" thing's in you'r head acturly meant for you to walk alone and find someone new someone better someone who didn't carry alot of baggage along with them.


Who can i call on when the only person i need to talk to and need by my side is you but why is it that you'r so blind that you couldn't even see how good you had it or how smooth you alway's had it going whenever i was by you'r side you alway's telling people how unhappy you was and how you felt like you was trapped answer me something how is it that you was the one who felt that way when i did everything i could and even beyond everything that i could do to make you happy teo let just one part of you'r life go smoothly without any dramma or fighting, there are time's where all i wan't to do is lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep but then it hit's me without any sign of warning and it hurt's so bad and the pain is so unbearible at time's that i do not know how to escape or even get out of it even if i try i just feel like im trying find my way out of a pitch black hole ine the middle of no where and i feel like i will never get away never get out of this pain or hell that i am living eachday.


There is so much that i wanted to tell you that night and so much that i had inside of me but when i tryed to find the word's and the correct way to put it i just got all confused and a little scared that they would come out the wrong way, or that maybe you would just tell me to f**k off off and that you never wan't to talk to me again and i could not take that chance of loosing my bestfriend it hurt's already that i lost you as a boyfriend we was so close closer than any married couple i know we bearly even had a fight i tryed make thing's so perfect for you and me it was hard to do alone especialy when i need you the most and you was never around for me.


Everyone kept on and on telling me about how whenever i need you the most you was never here and how i shouldn't put up with that but i always made excuses for you i would alway's tell them that maybe you was busy or maybe you just got cought up in something and that you will call me or come check on me whenever you get the time, but how could i have been so blind i chosed you over my whole family even my friend's there was a time when i thought i meant the world to you and that deep down inside you really cared but i was blinded by you'r so called love that i blocked everyone and everything else out espet me and you i loved you so much that it hurt whenever you wasn't around all i could do was i never left the house but then you say i'm obessed over you when you was the one who wanted come over everyday on the weekday instead of the weekend's.


I couldn't even see it when everyone was always saying how maybe you didn't come over on weekend's is because maybe you found someone else and how i should not have to or should not put up with that but i never question your love for me or never question anything you did or said even now you tell me that you'r alway's be here for me whenever i need someone to talk to, but how come now when i need you the most you'r not here what is it that annoy's you so bad and that make's you feel like you'r traped and can not escape this even after the brake up i still feel you inside me so deep that its like you'r right next to me i can't even sleep at night without thinking about you and worrying about you i just wish i could make thing's better and a whole lot smoother for us i even kept my promise's i made to you for what tho so you can just turn around and do this it really hurt's seeing the one you love more than you'r life itself and then have them telling you how obessed you was with them when you don't even see how they could say that.


You had it so good so damn good but you just tossed it all away when you got tired of all the dramma and the game's you use to tell me how every girl that you was with did you wrong or some how hurt you but now i kinda find that hard to belive, when look at what we went through and you was just as much to blame as me or anyone else you could have been honest in the start and told me about the girl but no i had to find it out the hard way i was tired of all the dramma and fighting.

I was just about to give up and tell you let's just be friend's but that's when you came in and said it's over you have no idea how hard it was and how bad i wanted to just say forget it and move on with my life but i didn't and i couldn't because i know deep down inside that i love you and what we was going through was to hard and we came to far to just say forget it and leave it behind and be friend's but we had take the chance and see what would happend if we made it past friend's but look where that got us now we always complaining, we always fighting either meNyou or some other chick who know's you why couldn't you just been honest with me in the start we could have saved alot of heart ache and could have saved the one thing that meant the most to me wich was our friendship now it's like i don't even know what to say or how to put it anymore you was the best thing in my life even tho we had problem's and i would always ask you was everything okay between us and you would alway's smile and hold me and say yes everything is fine and that you love me so much.

© Heather Feazel


 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 22
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:46:55 PM
Starving For Affection

Why did i let myself fall for you. why did i let myself get so wrapped up in us that i couldnt even see the pain when it was infront of my eye's. why do i tell myself i'll be okay and that i'll see you tommrow. when i know its not true and i know i wont talk to you tommrow.

how come i keep thinkin that everything will be okay if you just hold me in you'r arms. i must be one of those girl's who fall inlove with a guy who looks so perfect and so inocent and sweet. i tell myself that everything is okay between us.

that we just having one of those moment's that every couple's have. What if it's not okay and what if it never gets back to the way it was in the first when we first said i love you and felt it inside our hearts and soul's. i just wish i could see you more often and have more time to spend togeather and say i love you.

It's funny how i know we will look back on this and maybe you will see what i saw that was so wrong in our realtionship maybe you won't tho but i'm hurting so bad inside and not having you near is making the pain even more worse, i don't do anything but sleep and wait on you thinkin you will call and say everything's okay and that you love me.

I try to sleep and try make the day's and nights go by quicker but that doesn't work, i wake up thinkin maybe youve called me or maybe you will come by but hour's start to pass and still no word from you.

I wish i could make you see how much it hurts me whenever you do these thing's to me.

It's like a thousand knife stabbing me over and over again the pain is gettin so hard and so tough to ignore and hide.

I tell myself everything's okay and that i know you love me but at time's have some doubts about our love and how can i keep my head up and stay so strong, not knowin what you doing or where you'r at i love you so much but it's starting to drive me more insane and more depressed then i am already.

You tell me that you will come over or that you will call me but i never see you and i never hear you'r voice it's been month sense ive seen you or even heard you'r voice, i keep thinkin that maybe something's wrong or maybe you'r just having a bad time and you just wan't to be alone but i just wish i had the answer's and that i knew what was really going on i love you so much but it hurts so bad at time's sitting here worried and thinkin about you 24/7 non stop and it's really tearing me up inside that we are not that close anymore.

We never have time by ourself's and when you do come over we never talk we just lay there and watch tv or listen to music or the OTHER thing, it feel's like at time's that maybe sex was the only thing that could keep our realtionship strong and keep it going.

I never thought i would find somoene so special and so perfect like you are but there are time's where i think that maybe, you'r not all that perfect and not all that special and then i start to hate myself becuase i love you so much but the pain i go through is so unbearible.

I use to think you was the PERFECT guy in this whole world i use to think i could never find anyone else like you and that i'll never meet anyone who could make me laugh or smile the way you do.

You'r every thought that crosses my mind and every dream i have every morning i awake you'r always on my mind even when i'm sound asleep you pop up in my dream's you'r just so perfect to me and it's like there is NOTHING that you can do wrong, even tho you always do thing's that makes me so pissed off or so hurt inside i still and i will always love you no matter what happend's in the end.

They say we need to move on and find someone differnt and someone we deserve we always hearing this shit about how we could do better and how we do not deserve eachother and how, you or me doesnt need be with one another but i wonder how can they say all this bullshit when there never around us and they don't see the good time's we have togeather when were around one another.

You tell me that you will always be around and how nothing or no one can ever come between what we have or ever split us up but sometimes you make me wonder and think is all this pain and suffering worth all this in the end, you always say you love me or "you know i love you right" but there are time's where i have my doubt's but i can not let that come between what i feel for you because there are so many people who already say shit about us and some of the shit they say you do not know and it's like i'm always protecting you or taking you'r slack.

You act and think that everything's okay and that we never have a problem and that everything will be okay between us and everyone in the world sometimes i think that you don't acturly know, what we are in or how much shit come's our way you just walk around like everythings perfect and that everything in our lives will be find.

This is the last time i pour my heart out to you and tell you all my secrets and all my love i have inside of me for you so this is you'r chance take it or leave it, try make things better between us or just leave me now because i don't think i'm strong enough to go through all that hell you put me through again.


© Heather Feazel
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 23
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:41:22 AM
That was an cool poem very great work.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 24
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:03:58 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He

Is the one you love really worth all this he is putting you through and does he know that he is putting you through this pain does he really know that you love him but he doesn't want to show his feeling's for you because of the bad relateionship he is just comming out of, and how can he tell you how he feels about you in a letter but when you talk to him on the phone or face to face he tells you that he is sorry that he wrote you that stuff.

Saying how he can't live without you and how he feels like you are the one for him but when you are talking on the phone of face to face he says he is sorry for the letter and how he wasn't thinking when he wrote it to you, how can he do this to you when he tells you that he wants you to be his girlfriend why is it that he alway's ends up brakeing your heart and he doesn't even know that he is doing you wrong.

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Broken Hearted 4-10-02

How could the one you love and gave your heart to turn around and do this to you after he said he loves you and that he will never brake your heart and that he isn't like most of the guys, you been with you trusted him with everything and he turns around and brakes your heart.

When are you going to stop letting your heart get broken by the one who said he loves you and would never do that to you, when will you ever meet the one who will alway's love you and never brake you'r heart like he did you.

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Why 5-1-02

Why must we fall in love with somebody who already has a girlfriend or has a boyfriend why can't they see how much we love them and if love is so grand and special how come when we fall inlove with someone that already has somebody and why must we go through this pain, knowing that they will never love us as long as they have their girlfriend of boyfriend there.

They tell us that they wan't to see us happy but we know the only way we will ever be happy is if we have him or her in our lives but at the same time we think were doing him or her wrong because they are already with the one they love, why is it tearing us apart on the inside to see them togeather if all we want is for him or her to be happy. Written when 19years old!

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Have You Ever 5-5-06

Have you ever found the one that you wanted to be with but come to find out that he already found his love have you ever been inlove with hm so bad that you would do anything to make him feel the same way have you ever met someone that seems just right for you, but it's tearing you apart that he has already found the love of his life.

Have you ever been inlove so bad that you would do anything to make him feel the same way towards you but the truth is that he doesn't feel the same way, towards you as you do toward's him.
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The Day I Met You 5-8-02

The day i met you i knew you was the one for me the day i met you i knew we would last forever the day i met you people said you wasn't the one for me but i knew the day i met you, that you was the one for me i knew the day that i met you that we would be togeather forever.

I knew the day i met you that your love would never die i knew the day when i met you and told everyone that you was the one for me that they would have some smart remark but i knew the day i met you that our love would last now and forever, i knew the day we met that we both was inlove with eachother and i am blessed for the day i met you.
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I'm Sorry 5-6-02 For a good friend in canada

I'm sorry for all this pain i'm causing you all i ever wanted is for us to be togeather.

I'm sorry if i'm messing thing's up for you and i'm sorry if you do not feel same way.

I'm sorry if i broke you'r heart and i'm sorry for feeling, this way toward's you.

I'm sorry if you do not love me as much as i love you and i'm sorry that she is treating
you wrong.

I'm sorry that i couldn't tell you how much i love you when we met i'm sorry that i held things back from you.

I'm sorry that i can't be there for you when you need someone.

I'm sorry for putting all this on you all at one time.

I'm sorry to see you hurt but i'm not sorry that i love you and want to be with you because
you are the best thing that has ever came into my life and i love you,for comming into my and brighting it up and makeing it all better for me.



Wondering

Looking around at everyone in this house listening to what they all have to say about me and him as if they don't even care if i'm here, or not they talk about how he used me and how bad thing's got between me and him.

They always find one thing from the past bring back up and throw it in our face like the time he was gone for almost a month and didn't, call or stop by they all said i was to good for him and i shouldn't sit here and be put thru this pain anymore.

They was never around us when we had are good time's and when we was happy or getting along they only, caught the bad time's we had and the moment's we had our fight's.

There was time's where he made me feel like the luckiest girl on earth and made me feel so loved everytime he came, near my heart skiped a beat but then there was time's where i couldn't stand the thought of him night's i sat up in my bed alone crying because when i needed him around the most he was no where to be found.

Everyone kept on and on about how i should just end it with him now but they had no idea how close i was to just saying the hell with it all and, letting him know how i really felt the time's he wasn't around and the time's we went week's sometime's month's without seeing eachother.

I alway's tryed to protect him and alway's taking his side on every little thing people said about him whenever he wasn't around but i was getting so tired of taking his side but, there was no way i could let them see that they got the best of me and that they was right.

I tryed so hard make it all work out i tryed pleasing everyone at one time i was always fighting with my mom over him and alway's taking his side and having her, say you take his side on every damn thing wich was true but i loved him alot more than he loved me obvious but that wasn't the case i would have done anything for him i loved him so much more than i loved anyone else in my whole life.

The night's he was alway's gone having his fun and doing whatever he wanted to do i stayed home waiting on his phone call thinking if i left the house just for a few minutes that maybe i'll miss his call, so i stayed home didn't wan't to go anywhere felt like at time's that's all i do is spend my life waiting on him to call or waiting on him to come by and see me.

He was the only guy on my mind the only guy i wanted to be with and the only guy i wanted to make feel like he was the happiest guy in the whole world, people say he should have felt like that because he was the luckiest guy in the world to have a girl who would stick by his side even when he ****ed her over no matter what happend he should feel the way you feel because you was so true to him.

People alway's asked why do i put up with his bullshit and the hurt he put's me thru and i guess it's because i loved him and i couldn't, see what was really going on i just wanted to make thing's better between us and show him how much i really cared but i guess when it gets to the point where you care more about him than you do your self or your family then it's gone to far.

I think about it now and i wonder to myself why did he do this how come he turned around and just throw this all away he had someone who would have did anything for him, he had someone who didn't care what he was doing because deep down inside she loved him and trusted him with her life but he couldn't see that and now it's to late to go back and change the mistake's we made.

I hope this was all worth it to him in the end and he is happier and better off without me in his life but he act's like if he's the only one who felt smotherd and felt traped, when he had two other females on the side so in everyone else's eye's he had it made he couldn't have asked for anything else.

One girl lived with him cleaned his house did his clothes cooked his food while me and the other girl was alway's there when he had a problem always the one he came to, and cryed on there shoulder how can a guy like this do all this and get away with it and the thing is i knew deep down inside that he wasn't being faithful but i didn't wan't to say anything because i guess i thought maybe sooner or later he give in and confess.

The worst thing is the girl he lived with was fixing to have his baby and and be married to him but he acted like he had it so hard and that everyone cheated on him and that he's tired of getting hurt, but it's werid because the way i look at it is that he had it made he had everything he wanted he was not the one getting hurt and he wasn't the one wondering everytime he didn't hear
from us if were okay or if something terrible has happend to one of us.

Wondering
By: Heather Feazel
7-2-04
3:28AM



Twisted

Why did i let myself fall for you why did i let myself get so wrapped up in us that i couldnt even see the pain when it was infront of my eye's.

why do i tell myself i'll be okay and that i'll see you tommrow. when i know its not true and i know i wont talk to you tommrow.

how come i keep thinkin that everything will be okay if you just hold me in you'r arms. i must be one of those girl's who fall inlove with a guy who looks so perfect and so inocent and sweet.

i tell myself that everything is okay between us. that we just having one of those moment's that every couple's have.

What if it's not okay and what if it never gets back to the way it was in the first when we first said i love you and felt it inside our hearts and soul's.

i just wish i could see you more often and have more time to spend togeather and say i love you. It's funny how i know we will look back on this and maybe you will see what i saw that was so wrong in our realtionship maybe you won't tho but i'm hurting so bad inside and not having you near is making the pain even more worse, i don't do anything but sleep and wait on you thinkin you will call and say everything's okay and that you love me.

I try to sleep and try make the day's and nights go by quicker but that doesn't work, i wake up thinkin maybe you've called me or maybe you will come by but hour's start to pass and still no word from you.

I wish i could make you see how much it hurts me whenever you do these thing's to me. It's like a thousand knife stabbing me over and over again the pain is gettin so hard and so tough to ignore and hide.

I tell myself everything's okay and that i know you love me but at time's have some doubts about our love and how can i keep my head up and stay so strong, not knowin what you doing or where you'r at i love you so much but it's starting to drive me more insane and more depressed then i am already.

You tell me that you will come over or that you will call me but i never see you and i never hear you'r voice it's been month sense ive seen you or even heard you'r voice, i keep thinkin that maybe something's wrong or maybe you'r just having a bad time and you just wan't to be alone but i just wish i had the answer's and that i knew what was really going on inside you'r head i love you so much but it hurts so bad at time's sitting here worried and thinkin about you 24/7 non stop and it's really tearing me up inside that we are not that close anymore.

We never have time by ourself's and when you do come over we never talk we just lay there and watch tv or listen to music or the OTHER thing, it feel's like at time's that maybe sex was the only thing that could keep our realtionship strong and keep it going. You tell me how much you love me and miss me but there are time's and moment's where i can not go on and all i hear is a rumor's and you tell me, just to ignore it and dont worry and don't let shit bother me but how the hell can i do that if you'r never around and you never call.

I love you so much but i'm so pissed and so hurt deep inside and not being able see you for stupid ass reason's just makes me even more pissed off, but you don't seem to care or even give a shit about how i feel you always think shit is GREAT between us and that everything is perfect but you'r so wrong and i don't even know how to tell you what's really going on inside my head anymore.

I cry over you every single day and night and i'm always wondering where you are and if you'r okay and you will call me and let me know how thing's are going for you, and if everything's alright between us but no i never hear from you or see you and it really makes me more depressed just sittin around thinkin about you and "us" i don't wan't to do anything or even move on because i love you so damn much but at the same time it really hurt's and tearing me, apart in the inside to just sit around and wait for you to come see me or even call me.

We was so happy i mean everyday we saw eachother you and i both had the biggest smile on our face and i just don't understand how you can say that you was not happy when almost everyday that we was togeather you was always smilin and laughing, or was that all just one front to get in good with my family and me i need the answer's to all these question's.

You said you was not happy but everyone in my family could tell you was happy even my neice could see that she was always talkin about how cute we was togeather and how perfect we seemed to be i just don't know what to do or say anymore, you was always saying everything will be okay but how can you say that now.

Look back on the time's we had the time's we made eachother laugh the time's we had just to our self's, you told me you'll always love me everything felt and seemed so perfect like livin in another fairy tale again and the sad part is i went through so much hell just be with you and that if i had the chance to do it all over again i would.

Week's have passed and we are still not back togeather but all i keep hearing still is people talkin shit about me and you even tho were not even togeather anymore i could remember back when we was not even having problem's when you thought that everything was okay between us, but to tell you the truth you and i both knew and still know that thing's were never perfect between us i will agree we had some good time's and bad time's but most of the time's we had togeather was so good and i would not trade them in for any amount of money in the world there is nothing or anyone could buy or try gain the love that i have and had for you deep down inside.

I'm trying move on and put the past behind me and trying to forget about all the good time's we had togeather and all the time's you made me laugh and smile but everytime i lay down in my bed all i can do is think about you and wishing i just had one more chance to make thing's right again but why would i ever wan't to be back in that hell you made me laugh and smile and i will never forget you for that but there was time's where i didn't even hear from you or much less see you walk into my front door you, was never there for me you was always lying and always cheating behind my back i think thing's might have been better if you would have just be straight up honest with me in the first but you had go behind my back and find some other nasty skanky hoe and that hurt more than anything i will never be able forgive you for this you was my life my soul my everything and you just took it away when i was starting to care more and more about you how could i ever forgive you for this and take you back not knowing if you will do this again or not i love you but i can not sit back and watch this happend anymore.


confessions of a broken heart

Where can i start where should i look to find the one true thing that is missing out of my life,the one true person who will love me for who i am and not just want other shit from our realtionship.

Someone who truly loves me for who i amd and not for what i give or do for them,i once thought i found the perfect guy who had all the thing's i look for and wanted in a guy.

How could i ever been so blind i thought you loved me and wanted me there with you but i guess i was stupiod enough, to fall for all those lie's you told me.

You said you loved me and that i will never be alone or feel sad again i acturly belived all the word's you told me.

You told me how much i meant to you and that i do not have to worry anymore, or cry everynight but how can you say one thing and not mean it.

There was a time when i thought i meant the world to you and that i was all you wanted i was so blinded by your love that i fell for all the thing's you told me.

Where can i go to find a better and peacefull place away from all the trouble's and heartache, where no one ever make's you sad or cry.

You looked into my eye's and told me that everything will be alright and that you love me i still cant belive i fell for all those lie's and the way, you said you loved me and held me in you'r arm's there was no way i could see through you and all the lie's.

You told me that you will never hurt me but how could you say that and then turn around and put me through this much pain, i love you so much but at time's it's like loving you is tearing me apart and driving me insane.


We still are apart and this time it's for good, we went back to just being friend's again but why does it feel like i dont even have you as a close friend, anymore you tell me you'r alway's be here for me whenever i need to talk or need someone.

I just don't see how you can just give up on us so easily after all the pain and hell we went through to make our realtionship work when you left you took a part of me that i never thought would heal up until, you came along my way and made all my problem's ease up and slow down but now you'r gone again and the pain and problems just came back ten more time's harder than before.


Things may not have been as perfect as they seemed whenever we was seeing eachother everyday but you have to admitt that they was not tottaly down the pipe everyday without you feel's like i'm living in hell burning away faster by the second, you said you was not happy but all i have is one thing you need to answer and it is if you was not happy or didn't feel loved back or felt like i was smothering you why didn't you just come out and be honest and tell me that you need some time apart to settle thing's inside you'r head and yeah go ahead and laugh because i fell for all the thing's you told me when "settleing" thing's in you'r head acturly meant for you to walk alone and find someone new someone better someone who didn't carry alot of baggage along with them.


Who can i call on when the only person i need to talk to and need by my side is you but why is it that you'r so blind that you couldn't even see how good you had it or how smooth you alway's had it going whenever i was by you'r side you alway's telling people how unhappy you was and how you felt like you was trapped answer me something how is it that you was the one who felt that way when i did everything i could and even beyond everything that i could do to make you happy teo let just one part of you'r life go smoothly without any dramma or fighting, there are time's where all i wan't to do is lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep but then it hit's me without any sign of warning and it hurt's so bad and the pain is so unbearible at time's that i do not know how to escape or even get out of it even if i try i just feel like im trying find my way out of a pitch black hole ine the middle of no where and i feel like i will never get away never get out of this pain or hell that i am living eachday.


There is so much that i wanted to tell you that night and so much that i had inside of me but when i tryed to find the word's and the correct way to put it i just got all confused and a little scared that they would come out the wrong way, or that maybe you would just tell me to **** off and that you never wan't to talk to me again and i could not take that chance of loosing my bestfriend it hurt's already that i lost you as a boyfriend we was so close closer than any married couple i know we bearly even had a fight i tryed make thing's so perfect for you and me it was hard to do alone especialy when i need you the most and you was never around for me.


Everyone kept on and on telling me about how whenever i need you the most you was never here and how i shouldn't put up with that but i always made excuses for you i would alway's tell them that maybe you was busy or maybe you just got cought up in something and that you will call me or come check on me whenever you get the time, but how could i have been so blind i chosed you over my whole family even my friend's there was a time when i thought i meant the world to you and that deep down inside you really cared but i was blinded by you'r so called love that i blocked everyone and everything else out espet me and you i loved you so much that it hurt whenever you wasn't around all i could do was i never left the house but then you say i'm obessed over you when you was the one who wanted come over everyday on the weekday instead of the weekend's.


I couldn't even see it when everyone was always saying how maybe you didn't come over on weekend's is because maybe you found someone else and how i should not have to or should not put up with that but i never question your love for me or never question anything you did or said even now you tell me that you'r alway's be here for me whenever i need someone to talk to, but how come now when i need you the most you'r not here what is it that annoy's you so bad and that make's you feel like you'r traped and can not escape this even after the brake up i still feel you inside me so deep that its like you'r right next to me i can't even sleep at night without thinking about you and worrying about you i just wish i could make thing's better and a whole lot smoother for us i even kept my promise's i made to you for what tho so you can just turn around and do this it really hurt's seeing the one you love more than you'r life itself and then have them telling you how obessed you was with them when you don't even see how they could say that.


You had it so good so damn good but you just tossed it all away when you got tired of all the dramma and the game's you use to tell me how every girl that you was with did you wrong or some how hurt you but now i kinda find that hard to belive, when look at what we went through and you was just as much to blame as me or anyone else you could have been honest in the start and told me about the girl but no i had to find it out the hard way i was tired of all the dramma and fighting that i was just about to give up and tell you let's just be friend's but that's when you came in and said it's over you have no idea how hard it was and how bad i wanted to just say **** it and move on with my life but i didn't and i couldn't because i know deep down inside that i love you and what we was going through was to hard and we came to far to just say **** it and leave it behind and be friend's but we had take the chance and see what would happend if we made it past friend's but look where that got us now we always ****ing, we always fighting either meNyou or some other chick who know's you why couldn't you just been honest with me in the start we could have saved alot of heart ache and could have saved the one thing that meant the most to me wich was our friendship now it's like i don't even know what to say or how to put it anymore you was the best thing in my life even tho we had problem's and i would always ask you was everything okay between us and you would alway's smile and hold me and say yes everything is fine and that you love me so much.


True Love Awakened

You'r sitting outside waiting on you'r friend to come out and all you can think about is wanting her to hurry up so you can get out of this place then suddenly you see this guy walking down the sidewalk and you notice his eye's when he glances at you, and he smile's at you and it send's chill's down you'r spine you do not know him but you wan't to so you take the chance of catcing up with him and you two sit down at a table and start talking and the minutes fly by as quick as the day end's and night begans you feel like you known this guy all you'r life, the way he makes you smile and the way he makes you feel alive on the inside suddenly you get this feeling inside of you and it wan't go away so you ask him would he would like to go get a bite to eat while you'r both waiting.

When you look into his eye's it's like you see you'r life unfolding minute by minute the way he make's you feel on the inside and out is like nothing you have ever felt before and you start to think maybe you two could become something but you start thinking that it's to soon but everytime you look into his eye's you get lost inside of his eye's and the hours fly by, so quickly and you forget about you'r friend at the hospital and then you come back to the real world and you notice the time so you tell him you have go pick up you'r friend and he ask's you if he could come along.

You smile and tell him yes so on the way back to get you'r friend you feel someone looking at you and you glance over and you see him smiling while staring into you'r eye's and you'r whole body becomes numb and you'r heart starts pounding and you start to shake a little and he notice's it and put's his hand on you'r, legg and suddenly all the emotion's start to slow down and you take a deep breathe.

You arrive at the hospital to get you'r friend and she ask's you what took you so long and you tell her you'r explain it later and you would like her to meet taylor so she ask's you how did you two meet and you tell her the story and from then on out you two was always togeather.

You take you'r friend home and taylor ask's you what would you like to do now and you look at him and said i'm not sure what about you and he say's it's up to you so you and him go find this quiet place where no one is around and you lay down looking up at the stars and he reaches over to kiss you, and you feel you'r heart beating faster and faster and suddenly it's over and you look into his eye's and say this has been the most perfect day of my life thank's.

You get up heading back to you'r car and he walk's over to you'r car and ask's if everything's okay and you smile at him and say yes and how this day could not be anymore perfect than it already is and he smiles at you and reaches over to kiss you and you close you'r eye's and it happend's you'r laying down on the blanket on the ground and you see a shooting star and he ask's you would you be his and you start thinking and you hesitate for a while and then he take's you'r hand and say's don't be afraid i wan't hurt you i pormise, then you look deep into his eye's and it's like you can see yourselve being with him, and the picture look's so perfect and you say yes to him and then the two of you get up and drive to you'r place.

You arrive home and notice's there in you'r yard is you'r ex boyfriend's truck and you say oh god not tonight and taylor ask's you are you okay and you say yes but my ex boyfriend is here and he wan't leave me alone and he's dangerous then taylor get's out of the car and open's you'r door and take's you by the hand and walk's up to you'r ex boyfriend and ask's him would you please leave, because you'r making her nervis and she does not wan't you around and you'r ex looks at taylor and start's yelling and then the two of you walk inside and lock the door and taylor kisses you'r forehead and tell's you do not worry because i'm here to protect you and watch over you i will never let anything terrible happend to you.

You smile and wipe you'r tear from you'r eye's and you go and sit down on the couch and taylor follow's you and the two of you are curled up on the couch watching an flick on tv and he move's closer to you and starts to kiss you on the lip's and you can feel his heart beating faster and faster and you close you'r eye's and all you can see is his face and the two, of you living out your lives togeather and he open's his eye's and say's i'm fallen for you i can't help it.

You take his hand and tell him don't be afraid to let it show i'll never hurt you and i'll never leave you'r side i'm sorry i didn't tell you this before but i started feeling the same way and he start's to cry and you whipe his tear's and gaze into his eye's and said don't worry i'm here and you there will never be a day that you will be upset for i'll always be by you'r side a few month's later pases and he ask's you will you marry him and you smile and look into, his eye's and say yes and the two of you get married and then two week's later you end up pregnant and it's a little girl the two of you are so happy and then taylor ask's you have you herd from you'r ex lately and you say no and he smile's and say's that's good maybe he got the point that you are finnaly happy without him being in you'r life.

The fact that you have found someone who love's you more than word's can say and more than anything on this earth and that you'r better off without him because you found you'r angel from above to love and hold you until the end of our lives and i promise, you that i'll never leave you or our baby katie once you get me you get me until the day our lives end i'm not going anywhere i love you sweetheart you made me the happiest guy on the planet and i'm so glad we took the chance that day at the hospital i promise you the world and i'll do my hardest to keep all the promise's i make to you i love you so much baby.


the unspoken truth

Everything's faded everything's turned to black and day's seem shorter and the night seem longer the cloud's are turning into black fog right before my very, own eye's my tear's i shed fall down as blood drop's from an deep open cut.

The day you left took away alot of thing's i had inside of me it took away my bright cheerful smile when you left all my hope left right along with you, and people don't come by anymore they don't even call just to say hello.

We once had it all and i was once happy i was further up than the sky above us when you said those word's something inside of me died, and when you walked away and not even carring my heart shatterd into a million peice's.

Everyone say's i'm better off without you and how i could have done alot better than you but no one can see the pain upon my face and no one can see the cold black heart inside of me that was once filled with joy every sense the day you left me i have been just, one big mess.

They say i will forget about all the thing's we had done togeather and i'll find someone who love's me as much as i love them but i don't see that happing and i can't picture that for one second of my life, living without you is like not being able to breathe and not being able to come out of a comma.

I still can't belive you done the thing's you did to me and i am trying so hard to find way's to block out all the memory's and all the happy moment's, we spent and the tear's that i have cryed over you just because you couldn't make up you'r mind wich one you wanted to be with.

I wake up every morning still expecting thing's be back to the way they use to be when you would call me and say hello and that you love me and you are comming, over everytime the phone ring's i think it's you and my heart starts racing faster and faster.

It's hard to fall asleep at night now because i miss you so much and it's tearing me up on the inside for me to live without you and some people would say i act like you'r a drug that is, hard to come off of but they don't know how bad it hurt's and they will never know what we had.

Everyone ask's me how can i still love you after all the hell and pain you caused me but i'm alway's wondering what if they was around us all the time and what if, they had saw how happy i was instead of just mouthing stuff off and telling me i can do better than you.

I wonder what would have became of us and if we would have made it through the last big problem that was sent our way and what if we was suppose beat it and, you just let it overcome our love.

How would you feel if you was on the other side and you was the one having wake up eachday and crying on the inside half of the day and not being able, let it out would you have gotten pissed off if i was the one who had done this to you or would you just forgive me and look deep inside of my soul and know what i was feeling.

You said you would never let nobody or nothing come between what we have and no matter how hard they try to brake our bond we have that is stronger than, any love on this earth that you would stop it before it even come's between us.

The night's are worthless the moon doesn't even look the same and the sun doesn't shine down on me anymore and when people look at me i wonder, if all they can see is the girl who fell inlove with an guy who didn't know what he wanted or a girl who has lost her only chance at being happy.

They tell me that this will pass but i find it hard to believe when my heart is filled with sadness and my eye's do nothing but pour tear's down my face like, an storm comming in and the rain falls harder by the minute.

I use to wake up in the happiest mood's i could remember when you would come over and we would be togeather in my room just watching tv or laughing or you would, be freestyling off of something hanging on my wall.

You could alway's make me laugh and you always brought a smile to my face even when the worse has happend in my life and i lost one of my family members that i cared about, i remember the time we talked on the phone around one in the morning and i was so upset because what has just happend and you tryed everything to get me to laugh.

Then finnaly you said something really stupid and it wasn't even funny but it somehow made me burst out laughing and a huge smile came across my face.

I can remember all the time's you held me close and the night you whisperd into my ear that you fixed the one problem we had that came between us and i was so happy, i felt my body just float in some way's because the one thing i had resting onto of my chest like a heavy brick you had gotten rid of it for good.

I can remember all the time's you held me close and the night you whisperd into my ear that you fixed the one problem we had that came between us and i was so happy, i felt my body just float in some way's because the one thing i had resting onto of my chest like a heavy brick you had gotten rid of it for good.

Then it happend's and something goes wrong and were fighting and we get to the point where neither one of us can stand the other but deep down inside i know i still love you and that, this feeling can never change or no one else will be able to take you'r place.

I would go to bed early at night just so i could wake up before noon and i would be able see you and hear you'r voice i remember the first time i saw you, i thought i could never have anyone like you and that you was to perfect and to good for me but you changed the way's i thought you made me see that i had someone i could depend on and someone who would love me just as much as i would them.

Then the day arrived where we was doing nothing using harsh word's to eachother and wishing for the day we met that it would have never happend i still from this day, do not know why this happend and how come you had have me and someone else.

I thought i was the luckiest girl on the earth because i had found the one i loved and the one wanted to be with for the rest of my life you even asked me would, i be the mother of you'r child and would i go with you to get you'r kid back.

Now i wonder what all happend to that did we just let it all fade away when we let everyone get in the middle of our problem's and the girl who tryed comming between us finnaly did what she set out to do, she said i would never have you and you will never love me again because you have someone better and you love her and you never really cared about me.

Tell me something was it all just a dream or did i make it up or did we really have an realtionship because in my mind and memmory's i can still see, the day that we first kissed and the time's you use to hold me in you'r arm's and tell me that everything will be okay because you love me and you'r never hurt me.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 25
HEATHERS POETRY
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:16:35 PM
Black Roses: Heather Feazel 3-2-06

I Showed up at your funeral not knowing what to expect or who to see up there kept thinking in my mind that somehow this is not real and that it can not be you that has gone and that your still alive, slowly as we walk up to your casket with black roses in hand i layed them on your casket.

I looked up at the sky and in my mind asked god how could this have happend to somebody so special as you and somebody who meant the whole world to me and i felt this chill go across my body, and i heard your voice saying its okay your not in anymore pain anymore.

I got this feeling come across me like somebody was standing behind me and when i looked behind me i didn't see anybody i knew and then the feeling got stronger and i turned around once more and, i saw you standing there behind me with two black roses in your hand.

You told me that you loved me and always will and how you will never forget me and all the times we shared togeather and all the times you made me laugh and you tryed to kiss my cheek one last time and give me one last hug, but you couldn't everybody looked at you and asked why are you holding your arms out to the air.

So with tears flowing down your face you walk back up to my casket and you place 3black roses and 2 red roses on my casket and told me goodbye and i love you for the last time and walked away, i wanted to show you that i love you aswell but how could i when i am laying in this casket.

Then she felt the wind blowing just a bit stronger and the wind blew all of my roses off my casket and formed them into the words of I LOVE YOU EVEN AFTER LIFE.
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