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 secondloader
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 2
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How good mother's lose custody todays?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
What about those great single father's who when they come home from work find there stay at home mom/wife drunk as all hell, or stoned. This may be a slight reason for the father taking away children. Just because some women stay at home does not ensure the children are being well looked after.
 kychik33
Joined: 1/15/2005
Msg: 3
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:55:25 PM
I gotta agree with secondloader, craneman and intriguing77 on this one... Mothers aren't ALWAYS the best parent.....and besides - lives aren't always open books. I admire all those good single dads!!!!
 secondloader
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 13
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:00:46 PM
You are correct in stateing that the onus is on father's to proove the mother is unfit. What i've run into is inspite of having a large amount of evidence against the mother of my children a female judge decided that after the mother of my children went through 3 month's of re-hab that she was now entitled to have primary residence of the children. I had residency for the previous 9 month's. Now fast forward to today! i believe sometime next week i'll have my children back with me as the mother of my children will not or cannot look after my children. If only that judge would have viewed my concerns a bit more my children would not have been put in harm's way by there mother.
So i guess my point is, i feel that judges still favor mother's over father's and i really hope something changes.
As Greywolf states think of the children in all this.
Thank-you all for the support.
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 16
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/19/2006 2:25:26 PM
money is unfortunately a big influence on paper in some Judicial systems... i lost custody, for a while about 8 yrs ago after we (my ex H. & i) because i did not have a "stable place to live" for my boys.. prayers & hugs for you...
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 17
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:41:19 PM
Your message sounds kind of bigoted to me. Kids belong with the parent who can best provide for their needs period. Might be the mom might be the dad. Some one is going to lose all most every time. It is about time that the courts are finally following the law and not letting the sex of the parent be the prim determining factor in awarding custody. It is not an even playing field yet, but is getting better. Guys still have a much harder time and when they get custody it is normally because they are the best one to provide for the children by far, close calls still go to the mom.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 20
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:15:16 PM
The original message is what I was responding to and it said in it "after giving a painful birth and breastfeeding" I believe that leaves men out. As to the none working parent being the one who does did the most for the kids, I can tell you that is not how it worked in my house. I worked and when I got home took care of the kids and the wife took off. I said in my message the parent who can best provide for their needs, I did not say monitary needs. All needs is what I said meaning all needs. In Florida there is a whole list of factors that determine needs and who can best meet those needs and being primary care giver is part of the list, but is only a part. As I said the working parent can often be the primary care giver too; I now I was and that is how a mother can lose custody. Enough said!
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 21
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:56:32 PM
Must have been why the bottle not the breast was used in my house. I don't have them and I did the feeding when I was not working. I also did the tucking in the swim team stuff, homework as well as 100% of the financial need part. Having breast does not make you a better pick and if you think it does then you too are like the first poster and can put on the bigotry hat too. Sex of the parent can not be used at all in Florida, all though lots of judges still do. There are lots that don't and I am thankful for that. As I said the working parent is often the one who does the most for the kids in the home too. Lots of stay at home parents stay at home because they don't have what it takes to work and many of the same things it takes to work is what it takes to care for the kids. Think I said that.
 smutt531
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 22
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 5:02:39 PM
ok.well im dad you see.worked out of town alot.come home shes going to the sore,kid of story.and just givesup.best answer stupid,or drugie?
 sw3etands3xy
Joined: 5/1/2005
Msg: 23
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 5:57:50 PM
i lost my daughter in court and it is a really sticky situation. i now after over a year and half battling have finally regained joint custody of her but its herd to prove your a fit mother when the father is a pathalogical liar and believes that if he conivinces himself that its the truth or can find some loop hole in the situation it makes it ok. there are many ways a mother can lose custody these days or not regain it if its taken
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 27
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 4:21:31 AM
I wil if you keep god out of it.
 secondloader
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 28
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 3:02:33 PM
Now hasn't this post moved along, and no this isn't a perfect world. It could be better if the law (judges) based there decision on not just the best provider, and try to see which parent will keep the children the safest. I've read somewhere (maybe someone can help) its a study that men can actually learn to be cook's and nurturers, do domestic's as well as the obvious be disciplinarian's. While the women(single) raising children on there own have some trouble with discipline. And traditionally of course there are super mom's that can do it all. Has anyone heard of this study?
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 30
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:24:41 PM
First, let's all remove the apostrophes from plurals.

I think good mothers who work hard and stand up for their kids needs lose custody sometimes because they have to work and day care chews up a vast portion of the income. So much so that it makes living almost impossible for many.
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 33
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:24:58 AM

Now here is an idea, maybe courts should look at how much the non custodial Parents makes and give them 6 months to a year to find a better job? And after 6 months everyone should head back to court to check on results. Thoughts?

That is nuts...
... and what about the custodial parent in your equation?
I know divorced couples who were doing well married money wise only to both suffer after divorce due to many reasons.
My pet peeve with the whole system is the kids well being is really never looked at and the mother gets the children in cases where she should not...
As far as the OP's original post/question ...
As a father I do not think a woman should be given automatic custody and in today's world of equal rights under the law it also is hypocritical to say so... If the mother does not get custody many times there is something there that is not being discussed, not giving us the whole story per say...
 secondloader
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 36
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:59:25 PM
Ok what about the (good) moms that don't work and only atempt to keep the children for the sake of getting child support and the child tax credit, mean while they are out partying on the money that is supposed to be used for brining up the children ie. food, cloth's Any thought's?
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 38
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/23/2006 3:32:16 PM
crane man
...you are being transparent against the custodial and non-custodial parents to think anyone can simply go get a higher paying job within 6 mos... That statement is utter nonsense in every sense of the word... You are P O'd because you have your children but pay more of their living expenses???
I'll gladly trade places with you pal any day of the week... gezzzzzzzzzsus some people don't know when they have it good... I treasure my children and even though I am non-custodial does not mean I should pay more or less due to my X's current employment situation... I'd would give up half my current pay to have custody...
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 43
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 4:13:02 AM
You sound vindictive towards your X...
Children suffer because parents can't get over their past...
That should be a crime in itself...
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 45
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 7:35:01 AM

I wish he never filed for divorce, he really had no reason to do so

aww look at it as his loss not yours and not your sons either...
I know the heartbreak you talk about when thinking of the family life your child will lose...
I watched my 5 yr old daughter playing with dolls talking about mommy and daddy, like interacting, and I wondered where she got that from having not lived in the situation and I wondered how much she is missing because we divorced and I know she wishes we were not... Our children are fine and we do allot of stuff and take allot of photos when we do something so we have our own memories... Maybe someday we'll marry someone and they can have their family but it does not take a mom and dad to make a family it only takes us and them......
You don't need your X breaking you done to something you are not... He is the loser not you and your far better off without him... Myself I have tossed me into my kids life and have not even dated since my divorce + seperation was over 4 years ago... I need my kids more then someone else in my life still.... maybe that will change maybe not LOL
 YEAIDID
Joined: 1/24/2006
Msg: 46
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:11:34 AM
Heard enough about money already.

If a PARENT does not have/make TIME to properly raise/teach/guide the kid...then the CUSTODY arrangement should change if applicable. Like in my case....PRIMARY custody here I come baby! Dont want to 'take' my kid from his mother like it may seem. the petition reads "UNTIL SHE FINISHES SCHOOL". Career students need a push sometimes.
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 49
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 12:14:58 PM
$$$ don't mean chit...
My income was 4 X what the X makes plus she already had 6 other kids to support and they still gave our 3 to her... Figure that BS out... Now mine live in poverety when with me they would not...
I am going to fight for them again since there has been no impovement in their living conditions and other reasons...
But $$$ don't mean squat...

Hey bibstar too bad your X is a jerk you seem like a decent, caring and attractive woman to me... I don't think you'll be on your own for long...
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 51
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 1:23:20 PM

At, you sound very bitter. Whats bs about it? Just because the kids dont live with you doesnt mean they live in poverty. Im assuming you help provide financially for them as well as having partial custody/visitation? Id assume you are paying child support as well? Which is what it exactly is..supporting the child......


I think you better go back and read this whole thread because that would be the only reason you posted your assumption (not up to date on me or mine)... I will not repeat myself for those too lazy to become thread wise

Have a nice day
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 53
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 2:07:47 PM
You need to know the whole story not ASSUME which you know what that does, don't you?
When you do not allow yourself to know everything that goes into an equation then you only make yourself look foolish...
I rest my case...
YOU sound like a gold digger who has kids just for the cash and bennies they bring you.... hmmnmnmn yea that sounds allot like you after reading your last couple post
 YEAIDID
Joined: 1/24/2006
Msg: 54
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 2:38:08 PM
Bad Riverbabe! Bad bad bad
ROFLMAO @ riverbabe being a gold digger!!!!!
I still love ya and know that its ok! Gold diggers need love too
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 58
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 5:29:20 PM
..see that is where you are wrong...
tsk tsk tsk
I want my kids because they could use a better life then what they have now...
They walk to my house, only two streets away, because they do not like being over there and the courts will not let them have their say till thye are 12 years old thus they will stay with her till then...
Since you are too lazy or what have you here is some of what I have posted:

crane man
...you are being transparent against the custodial and non-custodial parents to think anyone can simply go get a higher paying job within 6 mos... That statement is utter nonsense in every sense of the word... You are P O'd because you have your children but pay more of their living expenses???
I'll gladly trade places with you pal any day of the week... gezzzzzzzzzsus some people don't know when they have it good... I treasure my children and even though I am non-custodial does not mean I should pay more or less due to my X's current employment situation... I'd would give up half my current pay to have custody...

tsk tsk tsk
I still stand by that fact...
I have, even though not required, paid my X's rent, purchased and or fixed her vehicles and brought food to them on almost a monthly basis... I will not sit and watch them suffer if I can help but in the same token I also think it would be far better for my children to live with me and since it is their wish when they turn 12 we'll go to court and I'll fight again for a better life for my children...
I am not mad I am very happy at what will be

BTW my X would have to make over 35 grand not to be concidered in the pouverty level here in Ohio and she only makes 11K, in a good year, not her fault it is just a fact...
 jason1077
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 59
How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 5:49:16 PM
maybe they just turned out to be lousy mothers?
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 60
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How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:27:05 PM
My X is a real good Mother she simply does not have the means to support them even with the support I send (190.54 each week) and the extra I try to do for them...
Not her fault but the children should not suffer...
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