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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?      Home login  
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 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 7
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
hmm,they change their minds?????
 happytobesingle
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 13
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:46:25 PM
Because they've probably heard alot about the "Feminist" ways of the western world and their unfair laws against men - they're scared and don't want to get burned like so many others.

Also trading-up to a FW where hatred of Feminism, AW, and WW exist amongst them.

Sorry to sound like this, but it's reality happening all over - just look at one of the latest Magazines that Connecticut Men are on a Marriage Strike because of the VERY unfair laws against them.

This response can be used in many threads here in POF as it's a very universal one that covers many questions/concerns.
 HaveYouMetHayden
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 15
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:04:40 PM
I think opinionator is pretty spot on.

Love is an idea, not a set stone instinct. The word love is just organised pixels on your screen, sound energy when you hear the word. The meaning of love exists only in your head!

The guy could be wanting to love you, wanting to treat you right or waiting till he could run because you have such unrealistic expectations. Don't think that guys are such meanies over this. It will have happened to most guys and probably done worse.

So move on, or wait till you love yourself truly, then others will easily.
 dippity_dawg_1969
Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 17
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:23:25 PM
Amen You nailed it to the tee. Men are insecure about themselves so they play with our emotions because they can't handle their feelings. Men talk about women being so insecure but they need to look in the mirror. I think more women need to let action speak louder than words because it would put a stop to men saying I love you while your replacement is standing in the other room listening.
 islandseekr_
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 22
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:59:07 AM
Love is confusing and is many things? Sure it is. Modern life does not provide very many solid clues. Love is the most overused, misused and most misunderstood word in the English language. In his first encyclical, Pope Benedict the XVI pointed out how contemporary society overuses and misuses the word love. At the same time, it is the most important, most desired and powerful condition of a human being. This paradox being the most misunderstood and the most important concept in the human experience.

Love from the dictionary:

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
a. Sexual passion.
b. Sexual intercourse.
c. A love affair.

3. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

4. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

So ladies and gentleman pick a number, stop blaming, have integrity and be upfront with your potential member of the opposite sex or same sex (whatever your preference) and love like there is no tomorrow.

Yes, most men can be ***holes, dogs and what other adjectives you can think of ladies. And ladies, you are no different, just not as many like men maybe. So everyone, just get over yourself, love from your heart – not from your head, because your head has messed up perceptions of love and make the most of every moment of every day.

For those of you who love from your head, get therapy, because most likely your perceptions are all messed up and you don’t need to play with anyone’s emotions. Love is an emotion, a feeling and takes action.

Ask yourself:

1. How do you love yourself?
2. What makes you feel loved?
3. Are you doing things (actions) of love for your partner, yet not recognized as action of love? Ask your partner what makes them feel loved. Without this how do you know? Ladies – tell your partner what makes you feel loved and men, the same thing if you know it.
a. Spending quality time
b. Buying little trinkets
c. Sharing common experiences

O - one more thing. Become best friends with your partner. How one loves someone that is not his or her friend is beyond me. I have come across people that say they love their partner, yet not best friends. How the hell does that work? You should like the person that you love, yes? Hummmm…

That’s my 2 cents, and know, without love you have nothing - living life is loving deeply and making the most of every day.
 NeoRaijin
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 28
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:35:49 PM
Why do women do the same thing?
 HerpesSactoCal
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 32
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:39:47 PM
To me, "I love you" means I love you, right here, right now. And love is eternal, I believe. But saying that (even in all sincerity) DOES NOT mean that I intend to hang around with you forever. "I intend to hang around with you forever," pretty much states that. I've gotten FAR away from women whom I love dearly. I still pray for them. But I won't put up with them rippin' me a new one every time they're feelin' hormonal (hey- I got hormones, too!) or jealous (over delusional & paranoid delusions), or dissatisfied with where they are in life (yet they spent 2-3- or 4 DECADES gettin' & STAYING THERE before they met me!). In short, ya wanna cheat on me, do drugs & lie about it, or wallow in other self-destructive behaviors while NOT LEARNING OR PROGRESSING in life, I'll love ya (no matter how morbidly obese you are), but I won't be hangin' around.
 HerpesSactoCal
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 33
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:57:59 PM
Hey, all this man-hating is really sexy! Especially since we know that all women are perfectly sincere & completely honest at all times! Grow up, chicks, we are ALL on here because prior relationships haven't worked out, and we ALL have experienced that pain. But we ALL don't choose to wallow in it, like you egotistical brats who think that you're the first & only ones ever to suffer on this Earth. And as for michchick: I'm down with that- LINE FORMS TO YOUR REAR !!!
 SexyandBrainy
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 34
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/20/2006 1:25:09 PM
people: grow up. Stop being so selfish. Be aware of your own tendencies. And "don't go shopping when you're hungry". If you make a bunch of promises and commitments to someone just because you're feeling temporarily needy, you're still accountable for your words and you deserve whatever castigations you receive. But of course, you'll turn it around and tell everyone how this person is being "obsessive" when they keep after you for an exclamation and to take ownership of what you did.



Excellent points!


After reading some of the nonsense on the first page of this thread by some of the people stating that love is only a state of mind, a feeling based on fantasy that WE are responsible for and not the other person and blaaah blaaaaah....gimme a break. Why blame the victim in this case who is clearly the OP? If you are with someone and today they are telling you all sorts of nice things including that they love you, you are blaming the OP for trusting that what he said was true? Who wouldn't question what the heck the person was on about if weeks later he hands over the walking papers!?!? How could this same person turn around only weeks later and decide "no actually I changed my mind see ya!!"? Are we not accountable for our words? Who cares what love means to everyone, the bottom line is that when a person is in a romantic relationship and tells you that they love you they are telling you that they are yours, and they are celebrating everything about you in three words "I LOVE YOU", whether they truly mean it or not is a moral call on their personal part but by putting the words out there it is implied that they DO mean it! No matter what love means to each.
If there are so many cynics out there that are going to twist and dwell on the meaning from person to person then why even tell someone you love them? might as well tell them "I have a baked potato for you" heck to some that may equal LOVE. pffft!

On the other hand words alone don't cut it, communication in a relationship is comprised of what we say combined with what we do. A person can say things until they are blue in the face but if their actions don't match up they might as well be the phoniest person on the face of the earth. When a person is feeling one thing but wanting to put out a less hurtful version of what they feel they will mask their actions in pretty words. That is the ulitmate coward's way. Would be interesting to see what he was like leading up to this break-up...
If you truly love someone you don't just fall out of love like that from one week to the next no matter WHAT love means to you. Unless of course you never really knew what it was to beging with....
 Idayana
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 36
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/21/2006 9:53:47 PM
Oh it's quite the opposite for me.

He broke off with me and an hour or so later he says he loved me.

I don't understand men. Men are confusing. Period.
 crazymoronx
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 40
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:47:12 AM
Why do they do it? I'll let you in on a little secret: sex.

They tell you that to have sex with you. Since we all know, if someone says they love you, it's time for sex! Often times though, it's time for sex even with that magic phrase.

If you want real love, you'll have to actually date them for a long time, get to know them, and not have sex.

If they push sex on you, chances are it isn't real.
 Zabb
Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 48
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/22/2006 1:55:59 PM
If you ask me, and by posting this question in a public forum, you are, in a way, asking me, armouring up your heart like you are talking about and setting a whole bunch of rules up like a maze that a man has to navigate to prove his love to you is like the last thing you should be doing.

I've broken a couple hearts and I've had my heart broken a couple times, and what I've taken away from it is that the heart can't really be broken. But if you are entering into a relationship with someone without accepting the fact that it may end at some point you're probably being naive. The point is to let go of your expectations for the future and the obligations that you put on other people and to just enjoy the time that you do get with that person. Expecting life to be a fairy tale that ends in Happily Ever After is a one way ticket to dissapointment. This is not a perfect world, there are no perfect people here.

Every day that you get to spend being in love with someone is a gift, not something that the other person owes you.

So basically, at the end of the relationship, you can be mad at the person for taking their love away, or you can be happy that they shared it with you in the first place. And it really is completely up to you which way you're going to look at it and which way that you are going to choose to feel about it.
 huhoney
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 49
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/22/2006 2:02:26 PM
cause he really lusts you and wants to say what you want to hear to get laid! ...in your pants... under da covers....tight with da titties
 chirp
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 63
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/26/2006 6:55:06 AM
Thank you, Opinionator, for words that snapped me out of my morning funk. Am not into the blame thing, generalizations, etc. (although I have sought honey in empty beehives). Still, that funk has been fairly nasty as of late given a mess of adultish type responsibilities. Have been htting back the balls was fast as they're thrown, but am consequently exhausted. It's time to practice the technique -- the "How can I ..."

Just discovered this site by accident last night/much earlier this morning and decided to sign up and post.
 Girl friend cant satisfy
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 66
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 3/20/2006 11:48:00 PM
Well, I don't mean to sound forward but how do you know ALL, I'm always upfrount and I can't talk for the rest but nowadays, especially in my country guys are changing, Matt
 Idontknowu
Joined: 7/7/2006
Msg: 82
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 7/7/2006 11:54:13 AM
hi
jillmac,

I think mens realli dumped out u realli hard so that
the three magic words don't affect. I felt quite sorri for that.
But, i think love is more than these three words.
it can't be expressed, it can onli be felt.
Maybe ur possesiveness or the selfishness of those mens
made ur true vision of love unclear.

often people get attracted to the most fanciest,
that ends withits fancy.Then peps cri for it and
ask why to me????????

At last mi words is that be happi and don't look others
to make u happi, just cultivate urself.
 Idontknowu
Joined: 7/7/2006
Msg: 83
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Just a learner to love
Posted: 7/7/2006 11:57:15 AM
hi
jillmac,

I think mens realli dumped out u realli hard so that
the three magic words don't affect. I felt quite sorri for that.
But, i think love is more than these three words.
it can't be expressed, it can onli be felt.
Maybe ur possesiveness or the selfishness of those mens
made ur true vision of love unclear.

often people get attracted to the most fanciest,
that ends with its fancy.Then peps cri for it and
ask why to me????????

At last mi words is that be happi and don't look others
to make u happi, just cultivate urself.

from
ishwor
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 89
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:44:54 AM
Why do ppl say I love you and not mean it or show it I would say is cause some ppl have a cold storage shed where their heart should be ...
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 91
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:34:00 PM
[you start out with an unrealistic ideal of love, and then after a failed relationship you jump right into foreswearing love ever again]

Love should be an ideal. That's what makes it so special. If you start out with a low opinion of love, what is there in life that could ever make you truly happy? Dearest opinionator.... I sorely disagree with your opinion. Maybe you should name yourself low-self-esteem-inator! lol
 Sethfire
Joined: 1/22/2005
Msg: 95
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:53:57 PM
ask yourself that question....think back Im sure you did that to someone karma sucks for you
 sn1ckerz
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 96
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:05:26 PM
jill,
Love is may things. And unfortunately so many people use it to get what they want. Like sex. But it isn't the guys who are the only ones saying it and then leaving.
Many women had said it and then "POOF", they are gone.
I do believe in love. I was in what I believe to be true love once so far. I loved the women I dated but for different reasons of each one.
Have I said " I love you" and then dumped them. No, that isn't my style. I have been left and been the one who left. Its all a matter of what happened. And unfortunately somebody gets hurt.

What you said here

From now on when a man says "I LOVE YOU" to me, I will laugh at him and treat him like a joke.

I think you are taking things to an extreme. Not everyone is that bad. Build a wall if you have to and keep your gaurd up. But don't shut all out becasue you might lose the one for you.

JMHO
 sn1ckerz
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 97
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:08:03 PM

think back Im sure you did that to someone karma sucks for you


Thiers that KARMA word again. Aint that peachy
 GREENEYES269
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 99
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:23:11 PM
There is a difference between Love and True Love. Love comes in many forms and has many ways to say it. That's what your relationship was just Love. some one can say they love you and mean it. True Love Never has to be said you know it there eyes. You can tell when you touch them and there eyes glow and there heart races and the goose bumps come up. True love isn't a word it is your Heart. Unfortunately you can have True love but the person you are with might not. When you feel it a lot of times you get blinded by it and figure they are in it to. There is Love at first sight But never confuse it with True Love. that is something that will grow. When it is coming from both Its the most wonderful thing there is. you can feel it when you look in
 Seve13
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 100
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 8/25/2011 2:30:04 PM
And why is it that woman supposedly never do that?
I find it to be as much on the woman's side as a man's(to say I love you and take off with another person). Enough of the self-pity crap.
You seem to just be a negative person, and maybe there was a reason he took off.
 janice9273
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 101
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:42:28 PM
i ve been asking myself that same question alot lately. my boy friend of six years said i love you to me almost everyday for the past six years then two months ago he called me while out of town working and told me he didnt want me anymore i was devastated.you should never tell someone you love them if you truely do. because if you truely love someone you will never leave them.some men tell you they love you to only get what they want. this is to the next man who comes into my life never tell me you love me if you are not serious. im not playing no more mind games
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