Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Divorced and dating, the later years      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 spenthan
Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 1
Divorced and dating, the later yearsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I find it much more difficult to date now than when I was younger. It is harder to find someone you are attracted as at my age now some look young but many look old and you do have to be attracted to someone at first, at least thats the way it works for me. I miss the every day closeness of that someone special and a warm body to snuggle next to at night. I have met too many people with such heavy baggage or anger, it would be nice to have a woman that is loveable and wants a friend as well as a lover.
 Mr_Right_4u
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 2
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:42:20 PM
Wow, that was heart breaking,,,,,,,,, COME ON !!!!! Are you expecting not to get slammed for that ?!!
Next time,,, save the mushy stuff for your profile and or an IM session.
Yes,, I agree that it is every Real man's wish to have that, but how are we all supposed to respond to that comment?
 Alpengeist
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 3
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:49:26 PM
read forum rules
 spenthan
Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 4
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:46:40 PM
just stating facts about women and relationships, I don't consider any of that mushy as I am not a feminine person at all. My big question would be how to attract women that really want a good relationship and not just giving lip service about what they want.
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 5
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:54:07 PM
I feel the same way about men... they dont exactly age so well and often have too much baggage for me.
But the thing with guys is they never seem to realize they are getting old too.
its just so crazy.




awwww look at the cute pup in msg 2... so cute.

@ msg 4... you do not mean GOOD women, you mean women you deem are good looking.
why dont you try younger women? Maybe you can meet someone for you that way
 spenthan
Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 6
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:12:57 PM
You say we don't realize we age but some age faster than others, my 2 close friends have gotten old already, I guess too much drinking and smoking have aged them mostly. I still like to go places I have not been and do things I have not done. The hard part is finding someone you click with that likes to do stuff with ya.

Tommy
 hovikb
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:27:43 PM
The point is that after being married you lose a touch of communicating with oposite sex (in a maner of dating.) You are use to be simple in a marriage. In this sense you get older for sure. I know it on my experience.. And more over you learn to respect women opinion during the marriage.. This women hates about singles I guess..
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:33:24 PM
didnt I read divorced 3 times in one of the other posts?

that is kinda red flag stuff to most....

Only meaning to point out that sometimes people have lots more baggage than
they seem to think they have.
Nobody is going to be perfect and a person has to be realistic to find a comaptible
partner.... not base them on dreams and hopes but reality too
 kristelkicksass
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 9
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:40:00 PM
Should I go there? Everyone...let me know...because I am SO about to go there...
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 10
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:44:08 PM
go.......

I did.....


 kristelkicksass
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 11
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:55:49 PM
Okay, so first of all...guess what! To me, you look old. To me, most people your age look old. Why? Cause you're getting OLDER!! And I don't mean hag in the dilapidated house with 50 cats old; just mature. Also, since when is being "mushy" solely a female characteristic? I have been out with guys who have gotten so lovey-dovey romantic it made me want to vomit; and I can also safely say that they were about as OUT of touch with their feminine sides as they could get. Also, why is it unattractive for a woman to tell you what she wants? No one wants to get into a relationship with someone whose characteristics turn them off. They're doing you a favor by telling you what they want. Because it may be quite possible that they don't want....YOU! I think dating will become much less of a challenge for you when you realize that you cannot have the mind of a 20-yr old in the body of a 50-yr old. If you want to have a friendship and relationship with somebody, you're going to have to look past the physical, accept someone for who they are and MOST IMPORTANTLY...GIVE 'EM A CHANCE!


P.S. Everyone has baggage, it just depends on how they deal with it. You're divorced....

YOU'VE GOT BAGGAGE!!
 puppyluv123
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 12
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:00:29 PM
OUCH! Tough crowd tonight!!

I find it hard to date as I get older too. I agree that we all accumulate baggage as time marches on and sometimes that can get in the way.
Its also difficult to know where to meet people. I am done hanging around bars so that leaves the library or other ho hum places....

I don't think the OP said anything particularly bad, how come everyone jumped on him?

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 13
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:13:39 PM

I don't think the OP said anything particularly bad, how come everyone jumped on him?

Dunno...maybe because we CAN???

Actually what he said came dangerously close to making sense to me

I gotta get back to the swamp, things are getting dangerously close to making sense to me-scary thought!
Cindy O
Well-behaved women seldom make history
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:37:45 PM
.

I find it much more difficult to date now than when I was younger. It is harder to find someone you are attracted as at my age …

Yeah, I think you are right, but I don’t necessarily agree with the reasons you relate.

It’s rather natural, in middle age, to want to keep whatever remnants of our youth we may have. Many women go to all sorts of outlandish extremes to do that. Some men do too, as evidenced by the population at the local gyms evenings. So, it’s not exactly unexpected that single men, and now some women, want to date those a few years younger than themselves and do not pay a heck of a lot of attention (with a few exceptions) to those their own age.

That’s a transition period in life. It’s not as confusing as being a teenager, but it does have its own set of unique problems for many single people. One only need read some of the posts around here to understand just how prevalent that is.

As far a “baggage” goes, much of that is life experience and a good thing. Sometimes we improperly label someone having a poor attitude about the opposite sex as having too much baggage and that probably reflects as much back on us as on the person we are talking about. The only polite response to someone with personal problems displayed as a poor attitude is to ignore them and walk away.

Now, you want “baggage,” I have two life-long gal friends with lots of baggage. These are long-tall professional women, the type who wear power suits to work and some might label a Barracuda. Both are recent widows. Their baggage is also my baggage because I was also good friends with their husbands and I know their parents, kids, etc.

These are the good looking type women (although a little older than you) you seek. But, if you ever displayed such an attitude with either of them, she would quietly eat you alive!

The closely held secret seldom related is that things improve greatly as soon as that middle aged attitude is over. That usually starts when both men and women become empty-nesters and either are retired or looking forward to retirement soon. That’s when we have adjusted ourselves, physically, by getting back into shape as much as possible, and also adjusted our attitudes back to friendly.

You’ll see how that works soon enough. From my point of view, it’s the best part of life. And yeah, I’m also single and living alone.
.
 rain_city
Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 15
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:33:48 PM
It is harder to find someone you are attracted as at my age now some look young but many look old


Here's one GENERALIZED difference I find between men and women:

Men (at any age) walk by a reflective window and SAY; "who's that handsome guy"?

Women walk by the same window and SAY; "Shite, I need to loose weight, my nose is too big, I need a hair redo (ad nauseum), I'm going shopping for shoes".

Please don't hate me for my above statement... but men, IN GENERAL, do see themselves as better than the world sees them, and women do appreciate the fine details, and craftmanship of a great pair of shoes (most of which are designed by men).

This, of course, has great meaning.
 sweetnurse4u
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 16
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/23/2006 1:26:30 AM
You will meet someone that matches your expectations.. Just doesn't happen overnight. P.S. It doesn't help when you sound whiney though. Maybe a more positive attitude will get you further. It is different at an older age (as someone already said) you generally collect baggage as you grow. Thats life. Wish you well though in finding your match!
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 17
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/23/2006 1:27:53 AM
hey hovikb how are you doing?
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 18
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/23/2006 3:07:17 AM
Honestly....If I had known that the women that I get involved with were near as crazy as my ex-wife...I'd have stayed married
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 19
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/23/2006 3:10:07 AM
lol not all are crazy but your right there are alot of crazy women out there today
hell i know one of them to well and she is crazy as hell, marriage isn't all of what its
made out to be but sometime's it more than you know.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 20
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/23/2006 11:29:48 PM
Unfortunately, kiddo...

The true meaning of what a REAL marriage or even an outright relationship has been so diluted by the fact that now most only think about instant gratification. I mean, a relationship used to mean something, whether it be marriage or when there is a mutual agreement for the two to be in a serious relationship.

There is no standing by the other when things get tough, anymore. When things get tough, the weak get going. Honesty has turned to falsehoods and loyalty has became somewhat fickle.

Apparently, one tends to search for "the bigger better" deal or one tends to use a person financially while they they supplement their physical desires with another.

I say this from experience and it has been reinforced most recently. I am not bitter, in fact I still love and miss the lady and her children.

The one quote I will never forget from her is " I'm just trying to do what's best for my kids"
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 21
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:19:30 AM
Sweet,

I think we all wish for "THE ONE" to be in our lives. Unfortunately, some of us get thrown into this cycle that goes kinda like....Wow, dating is really fun....Then we are like...It sure would just be nice to find one to make me feel whole....Then, we meet the one we thought was "THE ONE" and see that dreams are meant to be reached for, but never to be reached...After the painful break-up, we decide that maybe life is best alone and to focus on just getting through the next day and trying not to think of another failed relationship....After some time has passed, guess what? ...Thus the cycle begins again....
 jumpypants
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 22
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:19:41 AM
Truth time.

Women age faster than men.

Not all women and not all men, but vast majority.

Jesus.
 Broken_Soul
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 23
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:22:44 AM
Hey.... wraithofangels

So do you think a female could stay faithful or still be around for when their loved one finnaly does end up "comming" home from some place even if it does take him/her 15 to 20 year's? to get out of, a place where he/she is at?


What would you say/think if a female did wait that long until there boyfriend or "husband" got out of the place where they are at, and when they returned home she was still there waiting on him?

Knowing it to 15 to 20 year's before he,
finnaly was able to come home.
 Wraith67
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 24
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/24/2006 12:46:36 AM
For those that can, I commend them. I am quite certian that there are those that will, but the majority of which may not. I myself, if i had no contact with the one I love, would really not quit loving the lady that was gone but as far as faithful goes I am not sure... It all would depend on the history that we had together...For pete's sake, kiddo...I had to go out of town for the weekend due to a family emergency and the lady I was in love with could not wait...

I realize that I may set my standards too low when it comes to the history of a lady but that is because I believe one should not be judged by their history...
 puppyluv123
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 25
Divorced and dating, the later years
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:44:36 PM

women age faster than men


I just love these generalizations. And from a man with no picture on his profile.

Talk a look on POF my friend, there are lots and lots of hot older women on this site.

Quit making unfounded statements.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Divorced and dating, the later years