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 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 1
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POFPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I had the privilege recently, of peeking into what really hot women go through when they put up a profile on POF. This particular person wanted to delete her old account and start a fresh account and she allowed me to take a look inside as she developed her new profile and put her pictures up. It was pretty revealing and I thought you guys might be interested.

Within a few hours of putting up her new profile Mistress X was bombarded with over 150 e-mails. And to be honest a lot of the guys were pretty good looking. No. I'm not gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) She spent hours going through the hundreds of e-mails answering some and rejecting others. I didn't look at any of her unanswered e-mails but I did look at the replies she gave to some of the guys she considered hot. The interesting thing was that it was very subjective. In my opinion, some were very good looking other's very ordinary. On the other hand I would click on some of the pictures and ask her what she though of various guys. Some guys, who I though were the type of model good looks you would see in a magazine she thought quite unattractive. Other guys, who I figured she would never have bothered with, she found quite attractive.

I realized this situation presents quite a dilemma for hot looking women. How do they decide who to keep and who to boot? On an average day she gets 100 to 150 e-mails. Lets say that she has 20 really super hot guys (per day) that she wants to maintain contact with. What possible method can she use to determine who is “THE ONE” and who to eliminate?

This brings up a couple of questions: Since hot women have an enormous selection of good looking guys to choose from does it provide a deterrent to them to maintain a single monogamous relationship? Let’s be honest, guys faced with a similar situation would sleep with a different women each night. In fact, I know one such guy who's a real player. He's so busy juggling women he's virtually unemployable. (No not me. I'm not in that category) Thoughts anybody?
 squeak365
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 2
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:59:49 PM
100-150 messages? Come on...she musta put up quite the pic. The most I ever get is - oh, three or so...and that is usually in a few days time. I say...good for her.

Squeak
 JasmineKai
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 3
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An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 8:22:14 PM
Fascinating, though I don't see how this gets me a milkshake.

I was promised milk + shake. This falls far short.


But to the topic at hand. I deal with mass emails with the BDTAS system of email response. BDTAS (Blindfolded Dart Throwing At Screen) alleviates all the pressure of personally selecting who to reply to. Sometimes I miss the screen entirely and don't get to write any replies! Oh what a world we live in.
 destiplex
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 4
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 8:27:45 PM
uh.... deal with, well I wish I had that "problem" 100 to 150 emails a day?! not that I am a "player" but I would have so much of a better chance of finding the right one if I got that much email.

"What possible method can she use to determine who is “THE ONE” and who to eliminate?"
Does she not know what she is looking for?
 acburbank97
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 5
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An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:06:53 PM
Very diff in the "real world" ,from what I remember, in that MANY VERY attractive Women rarely get asked out...probably due to rejection fear I guess. On an anonymous site I'm sure many can/ do initate contact with a Woman who they would consider way out of their league in the real world. I got married before the Internet explosion ('93) so I'm not sure how I'd act if single....like to think I wouldn't be lazy and just contact ones on a computer.
 JustCallMeRich
Joined: 4/2/2005
Msg: 6
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:14:13 PM
I've been able to spend a lot of time with women most men find to be very attractive and I've seen that more often than not, they do give in to temptations - even when they have a dedicated boyfriend.

But that's just out of 8-10 women I've known that well. Not a very good sample size for any amount of accuracy...
 Chanel 05
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 7
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:42:48 PM
lol... good post Frankie...
 damselinnodistress
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 8
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:48:57 PM
Seems that she is not providing the deterrent, but you might be being deterred? It would appear you have a lot of competiion if you want to win this damsel? Have never ever had 150 emails in one day, and I question anyone that has. Not that it is bad, just just normal responses. Anyway, good luck :)
 damselinnodistress
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 9
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 9:58:54 PM
If you don't mind have another question? I really don't want to know details, but what the heck is in her profile? Sorry.. but looks themselves cannot account for those kinds of responses. Or can they??? lol
 destiplex
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 10
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:02:17 PM
it has just occured to me that maybe Frank is just a good fiction writer.
 Overshare
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 11
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An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:07:41 PM
Frankie,

I loved this post. I do not suffer your friend's problem, of course. However, I know for myself that when reading through emails I receive, it is imperative that I am able to read it. This goes for male and female profiles.

For instance:

The paragrapher who types everything they have to say (and it is a lot) without any punctuation any break in sentence structure and it goes on for a million lines and you just feel too tired to bother reading through anything else they would say to you if you did answer so you figure it's best to just delete their mail without reading it. {take a breath here}

Or maybe:

The abbreviator. This person uses ppl and u r and c u ltr and me 2 and other equally annoying literary shortcuts. This person makes it apparent they do not have even the small amount of time it would take to type in the other two letters in the word "you" and therefore how could it be possible that they could take the time to be with you?

And then:

There's the misspeller. This prsen is far byond juzt por typeing. Theis 1 is clarely note goign 2 b on the smae levl az me. (That pained me. Continue to imagine the rest of this typed like that; I cannot muster the energy to think of how to do it.) This is a dangerous ground, because it could indicate that I am an intellectual snob (I'm not, but I know what I know and I prefer to discuss that with someone who knows how to understand the difference between no and know, yanno?) I would have to delete because this person is simply not a match for me.

The worst:

The strut-your-stuffers. These people praise their own virtues and wow people with their qualities and then have the longest list of what they DO NOT want from anyone reading their profile. This negative list has been formulated through careful consideration to how wonderful this person is, and has narrowed the possibility of meeting even ONE of their allowable criteria that halfway through, the finger is headed to the delete button.

These are of course not all-inclusive. But it certainly does help to eliminate the prospects.

Once the field has been narrowed down, and emails exchanged, it's up to the person to discern whether he/she can find someone compatable. Players can make it through to this level. Let's just hope that the people meeting these players are smart enough to weed them out in the later rounds.

Just my 10 minute observation.
 LooseCannon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 12
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:17:02 PM
From what I have read out of your email I sense that some very normal thoughts were overlooked. You talked about how you felt these were good looking guys and she didn't and vice versa for the guys you thought were regular looking. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the saying goes, and well, what you see as attractive maybe something that you don't have as is much the case with people. They see something that either the other person has or doesn't have that you do or don't and find that hot. Not saying that you have a low self esteem or nothing, but it is hard to view somebody categorically. Although, and this is viewed by alot of women, good looking men tend to take advantege of thier good looks to get what they want, it is still at the discretion of the woman to allow him to take advantage. I do not believe that any woman can say she was seduced by his charm and affection. If you feel strongly enough about the person in the first, say, month to sleep with them, than don't be surprised if that person does not call you back. Study the person, ask the tough questions, and meet thier friends. Friends are the perfect way to really find out about the person. Lastly, a woman will decide what she wants the one to be. Although most studies indicate that the woman will find a man that has very similar attributes to thier father, be it looks, mantallity, opinions & views or a variety of the above. There is no person out there that can tell you exactly what every woman wants. As a suggestion though, study the woman you are interested in. Find out what she is passionate about, what she dislikes and the things that have changed her life and made her mature. Simply listening, observing and questioning gets you enough information on that woman. I once met a man who didn't seem like the most eligible bachelor. He was very quite, very timid and hardly confident by what I had seen at the time. I noticed him watching a woman who was very attractive. In a sense I felt like he was shooting at the stars. Later that evening, even though he had not yet talked to the woman, he was able to stike up a very good conversation with the lady. it seemed as though he had known this woman for a long time by the way he talked to her. He was confident with his talk. Later on in life, I ran into this same man and asked him how things went with that woman. "We're married and life has never been better for the both of us!" I was shocked. I asked him how he was able to get to that level of relations with this woman when he seemed so shy and quiet. He said to me that although I thought that he was very shy, he was studying the woman at that party, really studying. Listening to her tone with friends, listened to her interests and watched her body language towards others and the conversations. He said that by paying close attention he knew she was a very honest and caring person. it helps that he payed attention to all of her interests when talking with others so that he had an ice breaker and conversation makers. I learned alot from that man.

Cheers,
Loose
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 13
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:35:38 PM

Does she not know what she is looking for?


In fact, she has very specific tastes, but the dilemma is what does one do if one is presented with an overwhelming selection of. "Prime rib" or "fillet mignon". I think the problem can drive some people crazy because each one of us want to select the very best option. What do you do when all your options are good? No wonder some women are such princesses.
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 14
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:47:43 PM

your post gives me the impression that this "hot woman" is your old-enough daughter


My daughter is 20 this woman is in her early 30s. She doesn't use dating sites she's out with a gang of her friends meeting guys her own age.


Obviously they have to do some "weeding". Nobody can physically respond to that many emails per day unless the are a "professional" in that field.


Bingo. Have you ever read the posts where guys whine about "unread deleted". That's the reason why. While I was logged in her profile the IM thing going off 15, 20 guys wanting to chat. It was really quite irritating. I would shut them down (because I was reading her replies) and they would get pissed off because she (really me) was so rude.


Your friend, if she really wants to meet someone who will take her seriously, should change her profile.


I guess she could wear a bag over her head.
 destiplex
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 15
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:52:51 PM
In fact, she has very specific tastes, but the dilemma is what does one do if one is presented with an overwhelming selection of. "Prime rib" or "fillet mignon". I think the problem can drive some people crazy because each one of us want to select the very best option. What do you do when all your options are good? No wonder some women are such princesses

That makes no sense,1 if she has such a specific taste then it will be easy to pick. and 2. I too have very specific tastes, there are few, VERY few on this site who match those tastes.
either her tastes are pretty universal like, body type, or generic like "likes to have a good time" or she just isn't a real person. The whole point is that if you are going to make up a story to start a thread at least make the "Facts" believable ones.
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 16
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:58:40 PM
Very funny post Overshare and some interesting observations.
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 17
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:01:04 PM

it has just occured to me that maybe Frank is just a good fiction writer.


What would be the point? In fact, I started this thread because I wanted to illuminate what some people's reality is like. Its not my reality, its somebody else's.
 ~SpiffyKat~
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 18
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:02:59 PM
I average around 100 to 145 emails in my inbox as well.I dont consider myself to be a "hot chick" or anything.My pics are just ordinary outdoorsy tomboy type ones and a few I took with a webcam.I do have a lot of friends Ive made through the poetry forums ect.It might have something to do with the fact that the number of men here far exceeds the number of women ...Maybe thats why women get a lot more email than most guys do.
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 19
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:10:25 PM
Very interesting post Loose. There is a lot of truth to what you say. My conversations with this person has made me realize that although she can be pretty ruthless in hacking away at the e-mails, and although looks do play an important part in her selection process, she seems most interested in guys that connect with her on an emotional level. This person you were observing would have probably been successful in connecting with my friend.
 pamelaluva
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 20
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:12:37 PM
Good lookin' out Loosecannon...Its nice knowing that some DO pay attention to the smaller-and IMO, more important- details that make up a person. Its pretty easy to get caught up in all the craziness that dating -even online- has become.
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 21
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:17:18 PM

then all shes gotta do is leave her im off and take her pic off for awhile


Yes. That's what she does crazy chic. Its the only way to cope.
 destiplex
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 22
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:17:46 PM
"I average around 100 to 145 emails in my inbox as well" And how many are from men you have not met already? and of those how many are datable, to you? what ever the facts are I just think its cheezy to make something up just to talk about, I can be interesting AND truthful, all at the same time. If I want to know what women on pof deal with I'd prefer to hear it from a woman, not some guy! its like hearing a dog tell what its like to be a cat.
 Kelleyisnice
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 23
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:18:20 PM

anyways Interesting thread Frank...

Maybe they are just typos and they mean 150 messages in a month. Even when I posted several bikini photos, I didn't receive more than 10 or 15 messages a day, and I never averaged that many.
 Man of Ink
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 24
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:20:31 PM
I see that emailing women causes problems. I shall stop at once. What was I thinking?
 Frankiethepunk
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 25
An Insight into what hot women deal with on POF
Posted: 2/22/2006 11:22:33 PM

Its pretty easy to get caught up in all the craziness that dating -even online- has become.


Yes pamelaluva the internet has tuned dating into a gigantic zoo/insane asylum.
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