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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a      Home login  
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 leonardo dicatprio
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 2
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship? Page 1 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
i can't believe people are still asking this question. sure- having sex with a virtual stranger is the way to start a lasting relationship. pathetic.
 michieme
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 17
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:38:37 AM
I would say yes. Even though i have never done that. But even if you do more than kissing, then it's hard to have a long term relationship. I'm looking for that, and all I seem to get is friends with benefits, which I truly think sucks. I just wanna get to know one guy and thats it! :)

 lexus430
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 23
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:31:19 AM
depends on the chemistry, plus if it`s good you know he`ll be back
 Rebellious
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 29
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/26/2006 6:00:56 PM
My answer is NO! My wife was a booty call on the first date and I still married her. But if you don't look like my wife you're in trouble, LOL
 Ratero-park-man
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 33
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/27/2006 3:00:42 PM
yes it does because you got off on the wrong track to begin with and it will only get messier most likely, unless you believe in miracles.
 Lordsifl
Joined: 11/17/2003
Msg: 35
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/28/2006 1:53:34 AM
Well all my good relationships started with sex on the first date. Using sex as a control is not a good thing either which is what you seem to imply. Also making him wait if he is a horndog will probably make him lose interest too.
 kissncuddle
Joined: 9/27/2004
Msg: 39
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2006 9:01:03 AM
I dont think it ruins a chance to have a relationship. If you still consider yourself sexually active then sex along with trust, caring and hoesty is part of forming that relationship. If you care for someone but the sex is lacking then theres a better chance you will look for it elsewhere to be satisfied. Good sex can help form a better relationship. And once you form a better relationship...its not called sex anymore...its called "making love". So, its not a bad thing to test the chemistry in all areas of a relationship.

Kiss
 WILLPROSPER
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 44
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:21:19 PM
I don't think that I have the average experience. I am 79 and widowed twice. I have had twelve relationships and all of them was sex the first time. 9 of them wanted to marry me, two did a third one (one of the 9) will probably be the next wife. I feel I was seduced by all of them. But I don't feel that my experience is common. I don't even know why I tell.

But feel you way through and don't ever push, that is a no-no.
 Boltflight
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 45
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:04:19 PM
if you have sex or not on the first date, has nothing to do with if the relationship works in the long run.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 46
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:05:33 PM
No hard fast rules. What works for some people doesn't work for others.

I would however say that it would probably be very complicated to have sex on the first meeting unless this kind of arrangement was mutually agreed upon at a much earlier time. The reasons being you don't know much about the person, you may not know their full medical history ( and you may never know no matter how long you know them) with regard to STDs and you could get them pregnant or be accused of rape (false rape charges happen, real rape happens too, with strangers, these situations can be very complicated)

Someone you meet for the first time near you face to face in a park or at a show, maybe thats a little easier to deal with, they are local to you, these meetings are unintended and unplanned, and those situations work themselves out a little better.

Someone you meet for the first time after being online through a place like this? I think you'd be better off just keeping the first meeting in a well lit semi crowded public place so you can just get to know the person first and take the situation slowly.
 boots747
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 47
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:09:35 PM
I met a woman once, we had sex on our first date, and proceeded to have a four and a half year relationship. Mind you that ended when the scank cheated.

Steve
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 48
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:00:41 PM
We are bac to the three thing that a guy is looking for in a long term gf

in order of impotance

1/ Likes me
2/ Likes guys
3/ Likes sex.

The first two are more important but sex on the first date demonstrates clearly that you do enjoy sex. So, that does help.

The girl who goes to the other extreme of no sex before marriage is at a much bigger disadvantage and is well advised to do something pretty spectacular to clearly demonstrate that she WILL DEFINITELY enjoy sex after marriage.
 cocopuff1974
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 49
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:09:44 PM
People think having sex on the first date is so liberating when in fact it's not cool at all especially if you're a woman. There is nothing to be proud of having sex the first time you meet someone.
 Si_or_No
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 51
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:42:57 PM
Some of the opinions about first date sex are right out of the 50's ...

Today Women have the freedom to be sexual with anyone they chose and Not get pregnant .. so the question isn't.. if I do it ..a child will result .. its..If I do it .. will he come back for more or just drop me like a hot potato?

That depends ...

Before you decided to date .. was he interested in you as a person? Did he know you from mutual friends? How would you rate his actions towards others? Is he kind .. respectful ..???

Dating Total strangers leads to one time involvements ..

Dating your peers .. is a safer bet ...

All that being said ..

Sex is a momment to momment thing for most men .. We usually wont turn it down .. if offered .. so be sure to provide us with the right signals .. otherwise If we think you're interested .. we're going to try to crash your party ...

BTW .. Who says its always the men who want sex?

Over 90% of the dates that I've ended up having sex with .. it was the Woman who initiated the offer for sex .. I was just the willing accomplice!
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 53
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:23:27 PM
Hey folks! Heres a good dating rule that will probably make this thread a MOOT issue.

"Don't drink on the first Date'!!!!!!!!! You know the funny saying..." Budweiser...helping ugly people get laid for 100 years" ha ha ha!

Most of us can live with our decisions and choices...if we make them with a clear, unimpaired brain!

If you feel you need alcohol in order to have a date.... or have sex.... then, in reality, that is a problem.

Now...having said that, No not completely. (in answer to the original question): However, it greatly lessens the chances. You have skipped ahead many spaces in the game, and will have to come back and do the work you skipped eventually...if you really want a relationship. Its much better, I believe, to just do it in the right order in the first place.

Whats the big damn rush!!! Lets face it. As single people we ain't gettin' it every nite anyway! ha! Can't we refrain a little longer... ? sheesh. Enjoy the damb Process. You know, in tests in grade school...(or is it kindergarten) they do candy tests to see who can avoid the immediate gratification impulse by leaving a bunch of candy on the table and then leaving the kid alone with it. Instructions are given. Anyway.... there is a direct coralation btween the ones who can avoid the immediate gratification in favor of a greater one later... and those who are most successful later in life. think about it.
 CandieKisses
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 56
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:06:19 PM
I think, going by what I have experienced and heard from others, sex on the first date is taboo. There are too many people out there looking for a piece, and will do whatever it takes to get it. Lies, making themselves out to be someone that would apeal to you, or just play the game like alot ( not all ) of the rest on date sites. The risk of STD contraction is fenominal, and alot of people forget that it IS contracted through oral. All it takes is one person to lie that has AIDS and you are more then FVK'D....for life....just for a bit of fun..I honesty don't think that chance is worth it. Get to know someone, as much as you can about them, learn to trust them, no matter how long it takes and then take the next step. And besides, in my opinion and those of alot of others, you need to be friends before you can be lovers anyways. They could be amazing in bed, but as far as the rest of a relationship, that could be the only thing you are compatable in. To me thats not a true relationship... Just my onion!!
 CandieKisses
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 57
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:08:40 PM
ooooops... my opinion....not onion...LMAO
 JRJ73
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 58
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 cocopuff1974
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 62
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:35:43 PM
Posted By: arctickristal on 7/3/2006 1253 AM
Subject: Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Message: ^^ speak for yourself .. go read my post up above . It's not always that cut and dry

well I'm not speaking for you or on your behalf because obviously you like to get down on the first date. I don't so I'm not in agreement with it therefore I can't speak for you. Thanks.
 CandieKisses
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 69
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/4/2006 8:53:05 AM
I couldn't agree more, it is a 2 way street and runs both ways. Always wondering how many one night stands there have been in the past, and how many more to follow! *cringes* thats just SICK!!!
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 75
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:10:31 PM
I would have said a resounding YES until I came to POF...
Now I think you can get to know someone so well and become so
familiar that it just may seal the deal instead of kill it...
As long as we're honest with each other anything is possible...

I would be careful of the players though and keep the heart strings pulled tight...

Have a nice day
 ck1time
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 76
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:37:03 PM
With me, I don't have sex--I make love. The majority of my ONS have turned into something more. Sure, there's been times when there was something wrong & that's all it was that day. But usually, if I'm interested enough to make it happen, it turns out I'm a good enough lover that my lucky partner wants an encore or 10. I'm a healthy lover, so std-prevention is key, & so far so good.
I don't have a problem with waiting months for a selected friend to be comfortable. Then again, some write you off if you don't strike at first sight. Like some above have said, each situation is a little different. If you're travelling & not likely to see each other again, then that's a good case for a ONS. But I'll STILL make love, because if it IS going to be a single encounter, you want it to be memorable for you and her. I "get" the Players & Flayers' quickies...good for them, been there, done that. That's like taking a quick lick off a hot-fudge sundae...what's the point? My ego & self-esteem doesn't rely on how many women I bed. The "numbers game" online and on the street is about finding ppl we click with, not about how many we can f*ck. I KNOW many agree. But bring on the rebuttals.
 Splinter
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 88
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Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:08:44 AM
If you want a relationship it takes time to build up to one. If you want to get laid sleep with him on the first date. The choice is yours.
 SEENREAD
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 90
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:21:38 AM
All the woman thats Ive slept with on the first date--I didnt want a realtionship with..
 Eurekacat
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 96
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 7/7/2006 11:37:43 AM
NO WAY... Sex is a normal human desire...Why do so many feel negative this way...Did you enjoy it...Just look into the eyes they are the windows to the soul....
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