Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Exposing phonies      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 eddie0221
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Exposing phoniesPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
expose her in the posts!!

^^^ [=You would be banned from the forums permanently/Ticketoride]
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 9
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:57:20 PM
Many People also become extremely scared when it comes right down the line to actually meeting anyone and start to run & hide. Emotions and sensations come about they themselves are often not aware of. They panic. They freak out, then feel sorry for having mislead you, then too ashamed to even talk to you, so they try to make themselves next to invisible and just disappear.
 MDNinja
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 12
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/4/2006 8:37:03 PM
Oh no! A person you never met, had only chatted to for "a while" over the internet, didn't show up for you. Maybe she sensed you deep insecurity and ability to harbour a grudge and ran like the wind. Stop acting like she cut off your arm. revenge never helps anyone. Also it shows that you give your enemies power over you. If you were truely strong, you would just shrug it off and keep on truckin'.
 MDNinja
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 16
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/4/2006 8:53:12 PM
Right, because if she revealed herself as a phony before you gave her this great trust of showing up at a place, then you would still be posting this?

People get stood up all the time. Next time bring a book, if she doesn't show, you can hit on the waitress or someone else or just read the book. Or if she does, then the book can be a conversation starter.

People are dying all over the world and you can only get worried over wether or not someone shows up to a date. geeze.
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 19
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/4/2006 9:24:03 PM
maybe she showed up and you did look like your pics so she left...

for whatever reason... she ditched you... move on... no loss...

doesn't make her phoney... just makes her uninterested...
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 20
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/4/2006 11:01:17 PM
The mere fact you are so upset needing to bust her chops to supposedly 'protect' others (by making a thread on this Forum about it) from such abuse or anything that could be equated with vengeance, is almost a dead-giveaway there is something not right about you. My guess is you might have violent tendencies, out-of-control personality, vengefulnesses, but based on your reactions so far, I would not recommend you as a top candidate for dating. Your response to a stood-up date are on the verge on being scary.

I would give more credence to your reactions if you felt crushed or hurt, but when I notice hostile feelings toward her, I immediately question your Integrity.

This kind of thing happens all the time, and those that really need to make a huge issue out of it, still had another card someplace.

I don't believe anything anyone posts here anyways. As far as I am concerned you are full of it until proven otherwise. Likewise, I believe she sniffed you out for who you really are, trusted her intuitions and ditched you.

Post a Pic on your profile of yourself. Then we would be in a far better position to reply to your 'Original Post'.
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 27
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:10:35 AM
I just want to make a suggestion here....
but when you talk to someone before you make
plans to meet, ask them if they had ever met anyone from
online before.
Maybe they haven't.

If they haven't you need to be sure to meet them at a highly
public place and plan only for a very short meeting, like for a coffee
in a mall.
Be sure you tell them exactly what you'll be wearing and send
pictures that look like you, recent pics, so when they show up they not only
recognize you but a time limit has been set. Do not push the time limit anfd be respectful
to the time you have agreed upon
Also if someone has not met somene from online before... its best to maybe talk
on the phone for a few weeks beforehand.
They have to be comfortable in meeting if you want it to go well....

sometimes men are pushy to hurry up and meet. They do not take into
consideration that it is a very terrifing thing for someone who has not met
anyone from the personals before.
Pushy people suc k......

were you pushy?
 gr842n
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/5/2006 3:33:53 PM
sounds like you invested too much (intellecutally) in this date..... before you even arrived.

Set up something convenient, give it a time span, and if you get a no show, that is the way it goes!

I once drove up to and arrived 9 minutes late, but my date looked like she was so angry she would rip the walls out of a brick building.

I caved. Wrote her a note, stuck it on her car under her wiper and chalked it up to experience!

It happens....
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 36
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:42:14 PM
Funny, I remember reading recently about a woman who said she was suppose to meet a man somewhere for an intimate encounter. So in jest she said she would meet him there and did'nt show up. Not showing up for a meeting, does not break any rules.
 Just fine thanks
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 40
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:03:40 PM
For starters....try practicing what you preach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Just fine thanks
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 41
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:06:20 PM
...then maybe you will see that you really are an 'adult' too.
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 49
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 2:39:21 AM
Yes I am upset that I got played, and I wanted to know if anything could be done about people who ABUSE this site. Yes, I got mad, but that doesn't mean that I was not taken advantage of. I am not the one who did something wrong

It seems you are seeing your Point of View only, not the overall Picture, as that would include numerous variabilities such her getting wet feet.

Are we gonna expose and ban someone because of the possibility she deliberately played you?

Do we even have the right to drag her on the carpet and make her accountable for her No-Show?

It would be scary if we did.

Obviously, I was hurt. At what point did I say anything hostile? If you read my posts, you will see that I say I don't want revenge, I want to expose her as a phony.

We have absolutely no concrete facts other than what you claim that she is a phony without instituting an investigation., which ... we cannot do under these circumstances. She has the 'Right' to not participate because it would amount to an undue intrusion into her personal Life.
In short, we cannot do what you ask for ... not possible under these circumstances.

But whatever, she is still a phony, and I don't like that, and I don't want it to happen again, or to anyone else. I wish something could be done about phonies.

A wish not grantable under these circumstances. If she had attempted to physically injure you, or anything else that would point that she may be dangerous, then we'd look at that in another light. There is no rule here at POF that states anyone has to show up for a date.

sounds like you invested too much (intellecutally) in this date..... before you even arrived.

Exactly ... you may be moving too far ahead of yourself.

My conclusion is that women constantly complain about insincere men, but woman cannot accept that many women are also insincere.

Women? Everyone is different. They don't all live in the same Hive and talk about you before coming out to see you for a date.

the guy is looking for some understanding and compassion. if you have nothing nice to say then dont' say anything at all. only a moron sits back and picks on a person for saying what he feels.

Re-read the Thread. He wants to expose her as a phony. There is no such thing here on the Forums.

2) people tend to respond on the forums by calling you a whiner, even if you have a legitimate complaint.

Its not a 'legitimate complaint' in respect to POF taking any Actions against anyone. This kind of thing happens daily at any dating site.

Bottom line ... you got dumped, and she can do that any way she deems suitable.
 Ratero-park-man
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 54
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:20:23 PM
{It seems you are seeing your Point of View only, not the overall Picture, as that would include numerous variabilities such her getting wet feet.

Are we gonna expose and ban someone because of the possibility she deliberately played you?

Do we even have the right to drag her on the carpet and make her accountable for her No-Show?

It would be scary if we did.}


Hey on Plentyoffish anything is possible...Anything.
 aftereight
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 60
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 9:27:42 PM
how does changing one's profile make them a phoney?

anyway I don't unerstand why people are coming down so hard on this guy, I bet if it were a woman posting this thread all the open arms and offered shoulders to cry on would come out. that is shittttty to have someone lead you on like that. still you can't start a "warning" thread about someone.

OP: having a section on a dating site to report bad dates is a bad idea, what goes on between two people is strictly between those two. and you cannot form a public "complaint box" to report people who you've had a bad date with.Imagine all the people who would lie and say bad things about others simply out of spite because they were dumped, ignored or told they were no longer interesting. it would be chaotic.
 bewitchingsecret
Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 61
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 10:15:19 PM

....cannot form a public "complaint box" to report people who you've had a bad date with. Imagine all the people who would lie and say bad things about others simply out of spite because they were dumped, ignored or told they were no longer interesting. it would be chaotic.


I'm beginning to think that there is one ~ gotta talk to PoF about why they forwarded it all to my inbox
 kimmys_place_2
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 73
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:53:12 PM
yeah maybe she DID show up but you didn't see her. When she saw you, she may have decided she didn't like what she saw and bailed.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:38:50 PM
I think standing up a date like that is very rude. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I went through that humiliation a couple of years ago, and six months later I saw the twerp's name in the engagement listings in the paper! I feel sorry for the woman who married him.
 mft
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 76
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:44:19 PM
Post a Pic on your profile of yourself. Then we would be in a far better position to reply to your 'Original Post'.


How refreshing! What an idea! Actually post a picture of yourself, a recent one at that...think of the possibilities. Putting a face with the words..hmmm.

Maybe she got busted, looks nothing like she represented in picture or words? Or maybe she realized she didn't want to take the time out of her life on a gamble about you.

The simpler this stuff gets, there always seems to be someone out there willing to crud it up!
 sunshineface03
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 77
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 3:31:18 AM
^^^this probly wasn't the profile he used at the time, nor can we assume this is the picture he he had up at the time. You can change your picture everyday if you really wanted.

Reading the posts here though it looks like a pretty close minded (typical POF user) person here. He only wants people to tell him what he wants to hear and doesn't notice those other points of view that he doesn't. Its an attention thing...oh woe is me, feel sorry for me... Starting to look that way anyway.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:50:10 PM
No, spincycle, nothing gives her the right to be so RUDE. Standing up to someone who has planned a date is plain old RUDE.

There's NO rationale that makes that kind of crass behavior acceptable!!
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:04:31 PM
If he was crazed looking, ie stoned or dangerous looking, I'd call the police. Then we would address it as a safety issue. If it's merely something not attractive looking, I would still be polite and show up. Then I would at least thank the man for his time, and explain that he's not a match. I think that would hurt less than just totally blowing the man off.

What ever happened to manners in this country?????? I wish we would put more emphasis on manners and etiquette in the schools so that kids can learn how to behave in a respectable manner (no pun intended!). I realize that is the parents' job, but some parents just don't have a clue. The schools should help out with this--hey our kids are our future. We should help them along the path of life.

Now I agree I was getting off topic, now back on---I just had someone that I was corresponding with here on POF hurt me badly by closing the account suddenly and with no further explanation. That really hurt. I Have no idea why, and I just wish I had some warning or an explanation. It is hurtful to do that. I'd rather be told that I'm not a good match for the person so I could move on and go back to instead of scratching my head and wondering why this happened. Closure DOES help!
 aftereight
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 90
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:14:14 PM
^^ serioulsy come off of it, it doesn't matter what they/it was. the point still is, it was very rude. cut this guy some slack.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:17:01 PM
That's why we have POLICE!! It's different when you are talking about SAFETY. I can understand in that case. But the majority of situations aren't because of mental illness, it's because of RUDENESS!!

It's inexcusable unless you are talking about safety. I Hope you called the police when you had the guy pointing a pistol at you!!!!

With that said, I have been on the receiving end of being stood up, and it HURTS. Sorry, it's RUDE and there are no excuses. I wouldn't hurt a fly, and this jerk later came up with a lame excuse. So I hung up on the brat and went back to fishing!
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 94
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:20:33 PM
I still hope you called the police!! Of course, manners go out the window when we are talking about safety.

BUT with that said, just standing up someone without a valid reason is still RUDE.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:44:32 PM
Thank you Sienna, you said it much better than I could, and you hit the nail on the head!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Exposing phonies