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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)      Home login  
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 tedsme
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 1
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
The older I get, the more of a challenge it seems to meet women.

They are either too young (under 30) or too old (over 60)

Or they just have too much baggage, or are too jaded...

Or Im not interested in them, or they are not interested in me...

So I have decided to try and meet someone on the internet, anyone have any success with this?

Ted
 cojo4
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 2
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 4:15:26 PM
hang on ,it's going to be a ride,,,,good luck
 scarlett131
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 3
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 4:30:21 PM
I have the same problems meeting people.. from the female side of it.. too old, too young, too much baggage, or worse, they're married and just want to get laid...
Best of luck... stay positive though, there are some really nice people out here in cyber land.. :)
 bluniagara
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 4
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 4:47:05 PM
Well, you are definately an attractive man with a nice smile, and there are many other women out there that I am sure agree. I dont think you will have any problems getting a date on line.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 5
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 5:54:00 PM
Awww Ted, too bad you don't live any closer!!! Meeting someone online is only one venue of meeting someone! Think about what you enjoy doing.. If you are into art, cooking, etc. take up some classes, go to museums... I'm a travel nut, and trust me, who ever I spend the rest of my life with, he'd better have a love of travel and be willing to travel..
When you discover your passions in life and openly share those passions, it truly is amazing that someone will pick up on your passions and it will open doors to love and friendship opportunities.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 6:17:49 PM
If you're sincere, and without too many negative traits, then you should have little trouble meeting women online (of course, if you live in a town of 10,000 that's 100 miles from a big city, your search will be difficult!).

In the course of two years, I met about 50 potentially compatible women, having narrowed things down to that after emailing many hundreds (actually, most emailed me first). I dated about 10, had relationships with 4 or 5 lasting a few months to a year, and finally found the love of my life. (It's now more than 5 years that we've been together.)

The point is, if I'd gone the traditional route, I might have met 2 or 3 nice women, and it would have taken months to figure out if the potential was there. The internet is really only a tool, and is only as good as your ability to use it.
 bikesnblues
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 7
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 6:28:32 PM
from personal experience, on-line does not work. It is too easy to misrepresent, lie, etc. If you meet a person for the first time face to face, you at least know who you are talking to. This on-line thing.... met too many liars....and at your age?, hey try finding a date when you are 11 years older! I'm beginning to think, go back to the bars.
 ABGirlxo
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 8
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:39:51 PM
you gotta be kidding me... both you {tedsme} and bikesnblues are very nice looking men and I don't see why you would be having a problem at least getting girls to go for coffee with you.
 AllThoseYesterdays
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 9
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:00:38 PM
I think dating is challenging at any age. I have absolutely no problems getting a date. Having a relationship that lasts is quite another thing. It is actually pretty funny in a pathetic kind of way.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 10
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:57:42 AM
Dating at any age can be challenging, but I believe it's more so the older one gets as there doesn't appear to be as many opportunities to meet new people as there were when one was young. Hence, the boom in online dating. To me, it's not much different than going on a blind date, except that you don't have the (dubious?) security of knowing that at least someone else knows this person you're meeting (dubious because after some of the blind dates people have been set up on, one wonders how well those doing the setting up actually know the people involved).

But really, how different is online dating than meeting someone new in a bar, store, cafe, etc. and then going on a date with them? Teh main difference is that you know what they look like for sure. In either case, online or not, people can and do lie about them self, but also in either case people can be honest. IMO, someone who lies on a profile will probably also lie in their personal life. Someone who's honest in their profile will be who they said they were when you meet them. And at this age, not only are we too old for games (though some of us never liked them regardless of what age we were), but we've learned a lot through time and experience and know what we want and don't want. And if we want to find that then being honest in our profile is only going to help with finding it.
 nangelsheart
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 11
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/6/2006 3:08:24 PM
I have a web cam on another free dating site and if anyone 'questions' my pictures I just
say .."Okay click on my web cam and SEE for yourself!"

I have always been thanked for being HONEST. When you lie you have to remember each one you tell to cover the previous one.

My advice? GET A WEBCAM and if the other person just CAN'T seem to find a way to get one so you can SEE them.......chances are pretty good their picture is one from YEARS ago or they posted FAKE ones. IF a person is being HONEST with you...they don't find excuses..

~BLESSINGS and PEACE~
^i^Angel^i^
 tedsme
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 12
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:58:45 AM
Thanks for all of your feed back -- especially after all the NEGATIVE replies I have gotten from the women I have tried to contact here.

They either -
Don't reply
Start off really friendly and then get a bit "psycho" with each email reply
Or they are hookers

I won't give up, I'm sure that I will find someone

Ted
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 13
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 2:02:20 PM
welcome to the club ted

 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 14
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:44:05 PM
Well now Ted you have found out what it is like to be a single guy now!
Yep I too have noticed the same things you have about any women we meet.
Yep their either too young/too old or got too much left from their passed to even think of starting any thing new with someone. Yep theres thousands of women on here and yet not many our age ranges are actually looking for someone new to date !! All I have seen is a lot of ladies just interested in chatting on here . Yes it is very tough to find any lady who's ready,able and willing to start a new relationship after age 45 . Sure I have met a couple off here but they too still had isssues left from their past to deal with and so nothing ever got started other then as coffee meet friends or chat bud's online.
So yes this is only one way of meeting any one new but heck sure is difficult with women on this site . As I guess they see this as a smorgas board or way too many to choose from !! And yep alot never bother to read emails they tend to check the senders profile out and if its not smoking hot they just delete the email !! But hey thier loss is all I ever say when I get that response from someone I try to make contact with .
And yes I sure make sure their off my fav's list too !!
Well Ted just keep on pluggen there bud as maybe just maybe these women will get tired of being alone and start looking for a real live mate !
Firmbear8
 kimber55
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 15
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:55:26 PM
Oh man, do I agree!
Where are all the men? I don't do bars, I don't do games...and I have forgotten what being single is! I am new at this, and in an hour I've had two clear propositions..not good. Look, some of us are real, honest (hey, does that LOOK like doctored pic? I could have done it better!) and confused.
But hey, it's free. And beats going to the library!
 juju b
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 16
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 9:27:42 PM
Young people flirt. Old people just complain to each other how hard it is.
 ashley1861
Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 17
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:34:33 AM
I find it just the opposite. I did find it a bit of a challenge in the small town I lived in, but it wasn't for lack of available men; more for finding "the one".
Along the trip you will find younger women who will introduce you to their mothers and mothers who will introduce you to their daughters, so talk to everyone you meet; including on POF.
So,
Enjoy the ride
Don't make too many promises
Widen your radius
Be confident (you appear to be)
Flirt Flirt Flirt
 k.kong
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 18
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:39:34 AM
Look at it this way--if your name is not in the obits when you wake up, you've already started positive, so build on it
 Just another DUDE
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 19
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:38:48 AM
Unfortunately Ted,I havent found the right one yet.I been on 8 internet dates that just didnt work out for one or the other person.I won't stop searching for my other half on the net however.She is out there for me and she is out there for you too,Ted.There are many out there who found what they are missing in thier lives,so I know true happiness exist.Be careful though.There are scammers,players in both sexes out there.I know,as i experinsed this more then i will fess up to here,lol.Maybe im just too easy or too nice.Whats that old saying"nice/good guys,finish last"? I'm going to prove that saying WRONG,(somehow)
 Just another DUDE
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 20
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:49:24 AM
Dang i re-read that post of mine it it looks kinda kinked there in one spot,lol.You out there in the cyber world dont be looking in left field,lol.(streight shooter here).I once met a gal and her 10 family memebers online, or so i thought.It was her using 10 different e mail addresses ,plus her own .One Led me on for a long time,never letting me call her.A friend I knew who lived in her city,looked her up in the phone book and I called just to be curious if this was in fact her.The hubby answered,OMG,hehehe.It was her and it does get better,but just 2 of many things that will happen on the net.Watch out for foreign gals who ask for money,to come here also.I know there are warnings out there,but i also know some who got burnt by them mail order bride or groom scams.Happens to both sexes.There are men who scam innocent,vulnerable women also out there.Hey ladies,I am being fair and unpartial,but not to please you.I say it cause it is the truth,something I am about.
 PEPPER*MINTY
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 21
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:59:43 AM
OK..so look for someone about 45-50, who has been emotionally free and clear for a while,is positive and who you are attracted to. Done.
 spaceman213
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 22
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:33:00 AM
Hi Ted,

Some Advice. Dating is a challenge for men and women at our age. The internet does however afford you an opportunity to converse with someone and get to know them before you meet them in person.

A suggestion that has worked. I don't post pictures on the internet first off, because if someone is interested they will e-mail and chat, and you can send a picture later. I have also learned that men and women also don't publish a "true" picture of themself, ie., daughter or much younger photo. I would also not place too much merit on someone's stated age, because that could be false. I look at profiles 34 thru 60. Have had the experience of chatting or e-mailing someone with a stated age of 35 and actually be 45.

I would tell you the best solution I have found is this. Chat and e-mail with a person for about two months. Don't give your phone number or photo until both parties feel comfortable about that. Then talk to them on the phone. Then arrange a look and see at a public place, or perhaps a meeting in a public coffee house. Converse some more and then set up for a fun date to go dinner and dancing, or a picnic at a local public park. The key is go slow and be patient. Oh yes, in conversing I NEVER start a conversation about sex. Be the gentleman and let her bring it up and answer only her question, don't cybersex her. Ladies that talk about sex I stay away from, because they are normally hookers or police officers on the internet. If you want a meaningful relationship and have fun, then you wil take the time and chat, e-mail, and talk to someone. Sex is an extension of a relationship and "raises the bar" further to a new level.

You can also can not have the perfect solution even after what I have told you. Being a man, I have had the first meetings after two months e-mailing whereby you meet at a restaurant for a drink and snack. Then gone to the parking lot where the lady laid a kiss on you that would charm a snake. She then asked that we go somewhere to talk. Went down the street to a vacant industrial park where we had another long session of "parking" (kissing and touching). THen got out of the car, walked around the building and she stopped me, kissed me, dropped to her knees, and then gave me a BJ. The second meeting was more crazier, because I was suppose to pick her up at her work. She said she had to work late, and I was picking her up and going out to dinner. Lol! Got there and the office complex was nearly vacant. Went to her office and she said that veryone had left half an hour ago, and we where all alone. She closed her door and blinds, and then came over and gave me a big hug and then touched my pants. She told me that she was horny and needed some relief. She ws wearing a dress, so she picked it up and had me do her doggie style on her desk. She then turned me around gave me a BJ and we did it missionary on the floor. We stayed there for about two hours, and then the janitor knocked the door, which surprised us both.
We got dressed, and I asked if she was going to dinner with me, and she said no, she had to go home to her kids. This was the last time I saw her. We conversed and talked for another
month but neither one of us could bend our schedules. Then one day I noticed in the headlines where a lady was being sentenced for child abuse in a daycare facility. Strange how things happen.

I wish you luck. Just be cautious.
 cocarrot
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 23
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/9/2006 1:31:25 PM
hey ted, you say too old and too young, but your profile limits are set much narrower than that. I'm 50 and wouldn't figure I was out of your league - and from your profile we might have a fun time, but yours sez ladies only up to 47.
I'd say, if you're not having success, a good looking fun fellow like yourself - maybe open up your view a little.
I've met a few interesting guys - my biggest problem is I get irritated as hell when I arrive to find that yet again, they've lied about their height by 2-3 inches. What measuring tape are they using? I don't really mind what height they are, as long as they don't lie about it. And I will admit it's hard for me to dance with a guy shorter than I.
Also, men appear to be lazy to me - not one will travel more than to the very next city to meet you - and I live in So California in a very rural area. I'll meet half way - how come guys are so resistant? I've always found the best things have to be worked for ....
and what's the "baggage" thing. Good grief man - what woman in your age group won't have baggage of some sort? A nun? If she's been out there, living, she'll have baggage, whether it's kids, issues about men, security concerns, whatever. Hard to believe you don't have any - in fact, isn't this post about YOUR baggage? If you find a woman in her 40s without baggage - run, she's got to be psycho.
I wish you luck. Feel free to email me with your thoughts or problems. This is fascinating to me .... a good looking, interesting guy, who 'can't get a date'!! How stupid do the women in Las Vegas have to be?
Bye!
 TomiJay
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 24
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:32:24 PM
Welp, unfortunately I find that I can't claim "my parents won't let me..." at this age, so it gets fun beyond that LOL.
I am not about goin fast anyways, so this slows the process down, with out the hangover.
Life is a gamble at best.... plunge in, be smart, meet a lot of folks for coffee and see what happens; coffee isn't a marriage proposal, it's coffee.
Been fun, met guys I wouldn't have thought about, met some that worried me and met some that never contacted me back either.... I am not bleeding out so must be ok.
Something will happen when it's time, but time slips away, so grab the ring when you go around
 nced51
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 25
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Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 9:02:02 AM
Hi my name is Ed and im 55 live in High Point NC and im looking for friends close to home don,t drink so it,s hard to meet people and im looking for a friend not one to sleep with but one to do thing,s with like going to the moves or just watching some tv or plaaying cards or going out to denner it get,s so lonley sometimes hope to here from someone my email is nced518178@aaol.com Hope To find My Best Friend
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