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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)      Home login  
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 cojo4
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 2
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
hang on ,it's going to be a ride,,,,good luck
 scarlett131
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 3
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 4:30:21 PM
I have the same problems meeting people.. from the female side of it.. too old, too young, too much baggage, or worse, they're married and just want to get laid...
Best of luck... stay positive though, there are some really nice people out here in cyber land.. :)
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 5
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 5:54:00 PM
Awww Ted, too bad you don't live any closer!!! Meeting someone online is only one venue of meeting someone! Think about what you enjoy doing.. If you are into art, cooking, etc. take up some classes, go to museums... I'm a travel nut, and trust me, who ever I spend the rest of my life with, he'd better have a love of travel and be willing to travel..
When you discover your passions in life and openly share those passions, it truly is amazing that someone will pick up on your passions and it will open doors to love and friendship opportunities.
 bikesnblues
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 7
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 6:28:32 PM
from personal experience, on-line does not work. It is too easy to misrepresent, lie, etc. If you meet a person for the first time face to face, you at least know who you are talking to. This on-line thing.... met too many liars....and at your age?, hey try finding a date when you are 11 years older! I'm beginning to think, go back to the bars.
 AllThoseYesterdays
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:00:38 PM
I think dating is challenging at any age. I have absolutely no problems getting a date. Having a relationship that lasts is quite another thing. It is actually pretty funny in a pathetic kind of way.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 9
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:57:42 AM
Dating at any age can be challenging, but I believe it's more so the older one gets as there doesn't appear to be as many opportunities to meet new people as there were when one was young. Hence, the boom in online dating. To me, it's not much different than going on a blind date, except that you don't have the (dubious?) security of knowing that at least someone else knows this person you're meeting (dubious because after some of the blind dates people have been set up on, one wonders how well those doing the setting up actually know the people involved).

But really, how different is online dating than meeting someone new in a bar, store, cafe, etc. and then going on a date with them? Teh main difference is that you know what they look like for sure. In either case, online or not, people can and do lie about them self, but also in either case people can be honest. IMO, someone who lies on a profile will probably also lie in their personal life. Someone who's honest in their profile will be who they said they were when you meet them. And at this age, not only are we too old for games (though some of us never liked them regardless of what age we were), but we've learned a lot through time and experience and know what we want and don't want. And if we want to find that then being honest in our profile is only going to help with finding it.
 nangelsheart
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 10
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/6/2006 3:08:24 PM
I have a web cam on another free dating site and if anyone 'questions' my pictures I just
say .."Okay click on my web cam and SEE for yourself!"

I have always been thanked for being HONEST. When you lie you have to remember each one you tell to cover the previous one.

My advice? GET A WEBCAM and if the other person just CAN'T seem to find a way to get one so you can SEE them.......chances are pretty good their picture is one from YEARS ago or they posted FAKE ones. IF a person is being HONEST with you...they don't find excuses..

~BLESSINGS and PEACE~
^i^Angel^i^
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 12
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 2:02:20 PM
welcome to the club ted

 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 13
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:44:05 PM
Well now Ted you have found out what it is like to be a single guy now!
Yep I too have noticed the same things you have about any women we meet.
Yep their either too young/too old or got too much left from their passed to even think of starting any thing new with someone. Yep theres thousands of women on here and yet not many our age ranges are actually looking for someone new to date !! All I have seen is a lot of ladies just interested in chatting on here . Yes it is very tough to find any lady who's ready,able and willing to start a new relationship after age 45 . Sure I have met a couple off here but they too still had isssues left from their past to deal with and so nothing ever got started other then as coffee meet friends or chat bud's online.
So yes this is only one way of meeting any one new but heck sure is difficult with women on this site . As I guess they see this as a smorgas board or way too many to choose from !! And yep alot never bother to read emails they tend to check the senders profile out and if its not smoking hot they just delete the email !! But hey thier loss is all I ever say when I get that response from someone I try to make contact with .
And yes I sure make sure their off my fav's list too !!
Well Ted just keep on pluggen there bud as maybe just maybe these women will get tired of being alone and start looking for a real live mate !
Firmbear8
 kimber55
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 14
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:55:26 PM
Oh man, do I agree!
Where are all the men? I don't do bars, I don't do games...and I have forgotten what being single is! I am new at this, and in an hour I've had two clear propositions..not good. Look, some of us are real, honest (hey, does that LOOK like doctored pic? I could have done it better!) and confused.
But hey, it's free. And beats going to the library!
 juju b
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 15
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/7/2006 9:27:42 PM
Young people flirt. Old people just complain to each other how hard it is.
 ashley1861
Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:34:33 AM
I find it just the opposite. I did find it a bit of a challenge in the small town I lived in, but it wasn't for lack of available men; more for finding "the one".
Along the trip you will find younger women who will introduce you to their mothers and mothers who will introduce you to their daughters, so talk to everyone you meet; including on POF.
So,
Enjoy the ride
Don't make too many promises
Widen your radius
Be confident (you appear to be)
Flirt Flirt Flirt
 k.kong
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 17
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:39:34 AM
Look at it this way--if your name is not in the obits when you wake up, you've already started positive, so build on it
 Just another DUDE
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 18
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:38:48 AM
Unfortunately Ted,I havent found the right one yet.I been on 8 internet dates that just didnt work out for one or the other person.I won't stop searching for my other half on the net however.She is out there for me and she is out there for you too,Ted.There are many out there who found what they are missing in thier lives,so I know true happiness exist.Be careful though.There are scammers,players in both sexes out there.I know,as i experinsed this more then i will fess up to here,lol.Maybe im just too easy or too nice.Whats that old saying"nice/good guys,finish last"? I'm going to prove that saying WRONG,(somehow)
 Just another DUDE
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 19
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:49:24 AM
Dang i re-read that post of mine it it looks kinda kinked there in one spot,lol.You out there in the cyber world dont be looking in left field,lol.(streight shooter here).I once met a gal and her 10 family memebers online, or so i thought.It was her using 10 different e mail addresses ,plus her own .One Led me on for a long time,never letting me call her.A friend I knew who lived in her city,looked her up in the phone book and I called just to be curious if this was in fact her.The hubby answered,OMG,hehehe.It was her and it does get better,but just 2 of many things that will happen on the net.Watch out for foreign gals who ask for money,to come here also.I know there are warnings out there,but i also know some who got burnt by them mail order bride or groom scams.Happens to both sexes.There are men who scam innocent,vulnerable women also out there.Hey ladies,I am being fair and unpartial,but not to please you.I say it cause it is the truth,something I am about.
 PEPPER*MINTY
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 20
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:59:43 AM
OK..so look for someone about 45-50, who has been emotionally free and clear for a while,is positive and who you are attracted to. Done.
 spaceman213
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 21
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:33:00 AM
Hi Ted,

Some Advice. Dating is a challenge for men and women at our age. The internet does however afford you an opportunity to converse with someone and get to know them before you meet them in person.

A suggestion that has worked. I don't post pictures on the internet first off, because if someone is interested they will e-mail and chat, and you can send a picture later. I have also learned that men and women also don't publish a "true" picture of themself, ie., daughter or much younger photo. I would also not place too much merit on someone's stated age, because that could be false. I look at profiles 34 thru 60. Have had the experience of chatting or e-mailing someone with a stated age of 35 and actually be 45.

I would tell you the best solution I have found is this. Chat and e-mail with a person for about two months. Don't give your phone number or photo until both parties feel comfortable about that. Then talk to them on the phone. Then arrange a look and see at a public place, or perhaps a meeting in a public coffee house. Converse some more and then set up for a fun date to go dinner and dancing, or a picnic at a local public park. The key is go slow and be patient. Oh yes, in conversing I NEVER start a conversation about sex. Be the gentleman and let her bring it up and answer only her question, don't cybersex her. Ladies that talk about sex I stay away from, because they are normally hookers or police officers on the internet. If you want a meaningful relationship and have fun, then you wil take the time and chat, e-mail, and talk to someone. Sex is an extension of a relationship and "raises the bar" further to a new level.

You can also can not have the perfect solution even after what I have told you. Being a man, I have had the first meetings after two months e-mailing whereby you meet at a restaurant for a drink and snack. Then gone to the parking lot where the lady laid a kiss on you that would charm a snake. She then asked that we go somewhere to talk. Went down the street to a vacant industrial park where we had another long session of "parking" (kissing and touching). THen got out of the car, walked around the building and she stopped me, kissed me, dropped to her knees, and then gave me a BJ. The second meeting was more crazier, because I was suppose to pick her up at her work. She said she had to work late, and I was picking her up and going out to dinner. Lol! Got there and the office complex was nearly vacant. Went to her office and she said that veryone had left half an hour ago, and we where all alone. She closed her door and blinds, and then came over and gave me a big hug and then touched my pants. She told me that she was horny and needed some relief. She ws wearing a dress, so she picked it up and had me do her doggie style on her desk. She then turned me around gave me a BJ and we did it missionary on the floor. We stayed there for about two hours, and then the janitor knocked the door, which surprised us both.
We got dressed, and I asked if she was going to dinner with me, and she said no, she had to go home to her kids. This was the last time I saw her. We conversed and talked for another
month but neither one of us could bend our schedules. Then one day I noticed in the headlines where a lady was being sentenced for child abuse in a daycare facility. Strange how things happen.

I wish you luck. Just be cautious.
 cocarrot
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 22
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/9/2006 1:31:25 PM
hey ted, you say too old and too young, but your profile limits are set much narrower than that. I'm 50 and wouldn't figure I was out of your league - and from your profile we might have a fun time, but yours sez ladies only up to 47.
I'd say, if you're not having success, a good looking fun fellow like yourself - maybe open up your view a little.
I've met a few interesting guys - my biggest problem is I get irritated as hell when I arrive to find that yet again, they've lied about their height by 2-3 inches. What measuring tape are they using? I don't really mind what height they are, as long as they don't lie about it. And I will admit it's hard for me to dance with a guy shorter than I.
Also, men appear to be lazy to me - not one will travel more than to the very next city to meet you - and I live in So California in a very rural area. I'll meet half way - how come guys are so resistant? I've always found the best things have to be worked for ....
and what's the "baggage" thing. Good grief man - what woman in your age group won't have baggage of some sort? A nun? If she's been out there, living, she'll have baggage, whether it's kids, issues about men, security concerns, whatever. Hard to believe you don't have any - in fact, isn't this post about YOUR baggage? If you find a woman in her 40s without baggage - run, she's got to be psycho.
I wish you luck. Feel free to email me with your thoughts or problems. This is fascinating to me .... a good looking, interesting guy, who 'can't get a date'!! How stupid do the women in Las Vegas have to be?
Bye!
 TomiJay
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 23
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:32:24 PM
Welp, unfortunately I find that I can't claim "my parents won't let me..." at this age, so it gets fun beyond that LOL.
I am not about goin fast anyways, so this slows the process down, with out the hangover.
Life is a gamble at best.... plunge in, be smart, meet a lot of folks for coffee and see what happens; coffee isn't a marriage proposal, it's coffee.
Been fun, met guys I wouldn't have thought about, met some that worried me and met some that never contacted me back either.... I am not bleeding out so must be ok.
Something will happen when it's time, but time slips away, so grab the ring when you go around
 Ailed
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 25
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:02:50 AM
I have tried another dating service, and have found that it is with Internet dating similar difficult to find someone sincere enough to built a relationship. I wonder, if there is anyone out there for me. I am a bit disappointed. I have signed up here because it is free and I have nothing to lose.
I would like to know the percentage of successrate of people signing up with Internet dating services finding a long-term partner.
Where is my soulmate??????
 RapunzelRapunzel
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 27
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 2:11:04 PM
Good gosh-a-mighty! You better invest in one of those "Now Serving" number tab thingies like at the butcher shop, lol. Darlin' don't worry, you won't have much trouble getting nibbles.

Great pics by the way. Daaaaaang, next time I go to Vegas I might just STAY in Vegas, hee hee.

Ok, ok I'll be good. Honestly . . . I only had one successful internet meet in my life and the relationship lasted three years. Twas long distance, too. I've gone out with maybe four people from here, and another ten or so from other sites in the last three years. Just not much luck. No one's fault but just no click. What is odd is I don't tend to stay friends with them despite this, while I still correspond and even get together (not sexually) with boyfriends from as much as 20 years ago! Some people on the net seem to want to hop from one person to another for the next best thing, and if you can't serve that purpose then you aren't worthy of even friendship. Note I said "some." A week or so ago there was a thread here pondering the validity of a face to face connection vs the net, and I really am starting to think there is something to the fact that a person you meet in the "real" world is more likely to . . . well, I won't say connect, but at least attract or repel you on a level you can analyze and move from there on. Geesh, could that sentence BE anymore confusing, lol? What I mean is when I meet someone in person I know from the get-go if I am attracted to them, and I can read certain signals. Even if they end up not being perfect, or even for me, I can at least feel they've been straight up. An internet deal can lead you on for days and weeks before you know that, and the disappointment, if it occurs, is acute. People on the net also tend to be a bit more weird (sorry, ya'll gotta agree with me here, huh?) and that is why I don't maintain friendships with them. Has little to do with the physical, everything to do with them being quite bizarre, or more often RUDE!

So good luck, brave soldier! You will "meet" some great ladies here. I can't vouch for what they will be "in the flesh."

Rap
 galaxy-drifter
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 28
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:13:28 PM

." A week or so ago there was a thread here pondering the validity of a face to face connection vs the net, and I really am starting to think there is something to the fact that a person you meet in the "real" world is more likely to . . . well, I won't say connect, but at least attract or repel you on a level you can analyze and move from there on.


I would agree with the face-to-face comment. I for one am somewhat new on this web dating fiasco. But I have never had so many doors closed so fast in my life. Sorry to here, but somewhat comforting that’s it’s not just the guys that struggle on these web sites. I will admit that the web is no grocery store or Wal-Mart between 10 and 2 on Saturday. No one goes to clubs anymore. So Guess I’ll go to check out the cruise ships. Like soon!!

Sometime it appears a person is seeking the new model, no ageing what so ever, but with the experience of a lifetime, and lets not forget MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Mr. perfect, I cannot even believe my self that any guy could live up to some of these, wants, /demands.
At least in real life you have a chance to display charm, and flirt a little. The eye contact tells a lot if they are going to be a little bit of interested. But to ask most guys to express themselves in writing, whom are we trying to kid. Now the ladies are way much better at this, guess that what we get for not reading all those romance novels.
 RapunzelRapunzel
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 29
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:54:11 PM
I would agree with the face-to-face comment. I for one am somewhat new on this web dating fiasco. But I have never had so many doors closed so fast in my life. Sorry to here, but somewhat comforting that’s it’s not just the guys that struggle on these web sites. I will admit that the web is no grocery store or Wal-Mart between 10 and 2 on Saturday. No one goes to clubs anymore. So Guess I’ll go to check out the cruise ships. Like soon!!

Sometime it appears a person is seeking the new model, no ageing what so ever, but with the experience of a lifetime, and lets not forget MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Mr. perfect, I cannot even believe my self that any guy could live up to some of these, wants, /demands.
At least in real life you have a chance to display charm, and flirt a little. The eye contact tells a lot if they are going to be a little bit of interested. But to ask most guys to express themselves in writing, whom are we trying to kid. Now the ladies are way much better at this, guess that what we get for not reading all those romance novels.


Trust a Bama boy to exhibit such grassroots insight. Frankly though, I DO find the internet to be a veritable playground of the great unwashed. I have never encountered such rude, low class men in my life, and hey, I was raised just two hippity skips from sharecroppers so it ain't like I'm some snob when it comes to the working class. Has nuthin' to do with that. Professors, waiters, garbage men, candle stick makers . . . they all have their moments. In the words of a fellow Over-45er, "I don't want to get off on a rant here but..." the stand-up, cell-phone blocking, passive-aggressive "this is your fault" shenanigans of the over 30 set have boggled my mind. It's like, "C'mon, join our high school games!" Have you menfolk found it to be so with women? If so I am heartily ashamed of our sex.

Truthfully if a man can at least spell he doesn't have to write a romance novel to me, in fact if his words are too flowery they seem waaaaay rehearsed, or borrowed. Fortunately I make my own money, so that isn't a major factor either, but don't expect me to buy you beer while you dodge child support, lol. But with the net men seem to be looking for Pamela Anderson with her own yacht, lol. If we don't idolize them and want to have their babies, and let them tell us what to do every second of the day, and show up looking like a twig in designer clothes . . .we somehow don't measure up.

Then again, I could be wrong, I don't know.

Rap
 galaxy-drifter
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 30
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 4:05:37 PM
Now this is getting Funny!!!

Or has it been all along!!


And let me say I meant no offence to anyone, no did I have anyone in mind. there are some really sweet ladies on this site. Now my bases are covered and I'm out again darn!
 RapunzelRapunzel
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 31
Dating at this age seems challenging (48 years old)
Posted: 3/11/2006 4:15:36 PM
No, no, no, you are not getting off that easy.

Tell your horror stories.

Ted needs to know. It is your cyber-civic duty.
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