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 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 8
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What are we doing?Page 1 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

If I'm masturbating the last thing on my mind is reading!


That's why they make books on tape!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 10
What are we doing?
Posted: 3/9/2006 1:30:39 PM
Remind me then never to say anything about typos....(note to self!)
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 18
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What are we doing?
Posted: 2/11/2009 10:25:32 AM
People don't expect perfection but they have learned that life is too short to put up with a bunch of b.s. I am much more tolerant of many things, the small stuff that I would previously have argued with someone about, big whoop. But the basic stuff, the glue that holds things together which requires a bit more character than the ability to have a good time, that is non-negotiable and without it, I would rather be alone.

It is not that somebody has to make up for that, but don't you think it is a little bit stupid to keep doing the same thing over again, jumping into relationships regardless of many different very practical issues, better maybe to avoid those things you know cause you pain. If a man is jealous, I don't want to be around him but I also don't assume that all men are jealous, I just realize that the behavior is not indicative of a learning curve.

The standards you hold now only keep you from having the wrong relationship and why would you want to do that anyway?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 20
What are we doing?
Posted: 2/11/2009 12:26:41 PM
~OT~ I was much pickier when I was younger with regard to physical appearance. I had a very set-in-stone "type" and that was that. I grew out of that and moved on to "substance" type pickiness. Sheesh ~ it was much easier when all I cared about was that he looked like my type.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 24
How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:08:46 AM
I was pretty picky in my 20s as well. However it only looks like I am more picky now...we just have more information at our fingertips to decide with online especially then we ever did in past years. So....we now know the things up front that we'd have to date someone for a while in a RL situation to find out. What we're doing is saving time, speeding up the process.

And it goes without saying that we can see things we already dealt with (or our friends did, if we're really perceptive and don't need to go thru crap first hand to learn from it) coming a mile away once we experience it once, so that's making us seem pickier as well.

Finally, as we get older typically we become more comfortable in our own skin, have fuller lives and can entertain ourselves more therefore needing less approval, reassurance, or people to keep us busy (and we have less of a desire to keep others busy as well).
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 25
What are we doing?
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:22:37 AM
I am a little wiser. I have found that guys who drink, live with Mom at this age, who cannot find a steady job are going nowhere. I'm tired of these guys who are irresponsible.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 26
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What are we doing?
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:42:32 AM
Yep.....that is me........drinking to much and still living with mom, and getting unemployment checks.......

Shakes head and wonders why anyone would think that we are picky with our dating trends, knowing what is out there to pick from......

OT........I have always been picky, just instead of walking around on a large college campus with many many options to choose from, I now do that on line while I earn my money, support my mother when needed, drink from my own wine cabinet, and help support all those that still need and use unemployment checks.......

Picky????........You are damn right I am......

Just my opinion.......
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 31
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/13/2009 4:38:25 PM
I still go out with people that I "dig"...guess older you get you just know things about yourself that you didn't know when you were young....you know your likes and dislikes better....I miss that innocence of youth too....we are really missing that alot in the dating atmosphere now..."the innocence"...too much social pressure from freinds , tv, radio internet etc...shoving down peoples throats the role models of some tv producers perfection....to much dating "education" and theories and the innocence has been lost ....could be the reason some of us aren't finding mr or ms right....
 oddandy
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 33
How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/13/2009 6:28:22 PM

How come we all get so picky after 30?


Because by the time we're 30 must of us have been through at least 1 or 2 (or 3 or 4) psychos, losers, etc, and we don't want any more of the same?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 34
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:45:13 AM
Sometimes you just gotta go out with the person you "like" and not feel like you owe the world an explanation for it....or feel so overly educated in the dating area that you lose your free spirit about it....having a great personality and some happiness bubbling out of you still has it's place in the dating world....you may go out with mr abs b/c the world makes ya think it's the trendy thing to do...but if mr abs doesn't have that 'thing" that makes for two people having a mutually good time....you could have a better time with "mr not so perfect".....that's how i see it sometimes....but hey i am still single..but at least im still having a good time dating.....we need some happy stories....not a bunch of downers....
 komodo
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 36
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/15/2009 5:45:05 AM
My opinion;

The vast majority of people in the world suffer from the syndrome of
"been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, didn't like it, not going back!"

Stay Casual....
 JLarsson
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 37
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:28:59 AM

How come we all get so picky after 30?


Because we can. My life is fulfilled is so many ways now. Money, car, friends. Once you are more or less happy with who you are, you become less stressed about the other half. At least this is ture of me. I'd like a partner in crime and possible a kid or two but if I die alone, shrug life will have been good. My good works will speak for me, and my great nephew will get an early start on being financially secure.


joe
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 47
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What are we doing?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:02:13 AM
I guess it's because we are more cautious. I wasted my 20's so I'm not about to do the same all over again...
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 49
How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/16/2009 9:54:34 AM
It is not so much picky after turning 30, it is just a matter of once you have been thru a couple of things, more than once, hopefully you learn from them and change your ways. I don't keep my few extra pounds, I care about my appearance, and I expect the same from others as I do from myself. If people let themselves fall apart, that is a self esteem issue and needs to be addressed. Naturally we get stuck in our ways, because it is who we are. I am not doing any of this to anyone else, I just do not put up with any bullshit. I do however meet a lot of people doing what you describe, and I am learning more and more, they have some major self healing to do. I have even told a few, they probably should NOT be trying to date, if they are that effed up. I am not perfect, but I refuse to allow my issues become anyone elses. If I have things going on that need work, I do not date and present myself to be anything I am not.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 52
How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:31:44 PM
I haven't become more picky with age. If anything I have become more flexible with my standards. Having some initial interest in various types of people isn't necessary a bad thing. Sometimes a person that is somewhat different than your usual type could be a good match for you. This applies to several of my friends and relaitves in successful relationships. If there is no connection after some phone / email conversations or after a few dates, then you can end things with that person and move on.
 Darren G
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 53
How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:25:22 PM
It's not about being picky after 30, it's more like......

1. Dating pool has been reduced because of our age.

2. It's because we are tired of the BS that comes along with dating that we just sit back thinking the right one will just come right before our very eyes without putting in much effort.

3. OK I can't lie we are lazy and don't want to put in the effort.



 mmmmmmmmmm
Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 62
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/20/2009 3:59:29 PM
Good question. I'm finding that the dating women on plenty of fish starting to get really tiresome. I found after being stood up over a meeting for a coffee hung up on im, and generally being treated with contempt on this site. . I'm seriously starting to think about dating asian women. From what I've seen and heard on this forum. All the women think us guys are just after sex or we're weird. It doesn't help much if you're not that weird or a stalker.And just want a friend to meet for a coffee. You still have to put on the i'm no stalker weirdo mask just to get a date. And if you're luck y to actually make a date. You're date doesn't even show up . Not even a text. That's happened to me twice so far.
Also lets get real too. After 18 Australian women get really picky . Why? Because they can.
Since I've been here, I've dated two women. Both have said that I'm not the one for them whilst having a sexual relationship with me. So basically I got sick and tired of being ****ed , then told I'm not good enough so I played up on both of them.
The shit hit the fan when they found out. But hey I'm not going be told I'm good enough for a relationship but good enough to ****.
Get this as well one lady had a chronic illness, and 2 kids. She was the worst ,whilst ****ing me she was on the online dating sites meeting other guys for coffee. Talk about crazy.
So one day after over 6 months of this ,'you're not good enough for me' , I'm going to chat to other guys and meet them for coffee, she said ow I want to take this relationship to the next level. Next level, that's when I dumped her.
Australian women They want it all money security etc. I'm a 41 years old male. If I've got a choice of dating a 40 year old liberated australian woman with a few extra pounds or dating an asian lady who has actually been brought up to think about her husband and satisfy him On all levels. ...It don't take much to work it out ladies.
Australian women are selfish and pathetic. Lift your game ladies or you're all gonna end up lonely and old and noone will want you.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 70
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/24/2009 1:52:21 PM
Well, I'm fricken picky dang it. And being picky got me the woman I couldn't have ever dreamed of!
Funny thing is, I almost "Read/Deleted" her first contact email!


There's nothing wrong with being picky.

After 30, we know better about whom we are as individuals. We also have a better grasp on what does and doesn't work for us in relationships.

And to be honest, I was MORE picky about appearances in my 20s!

However, I STILL don't go for slouches in the looks department. But my tastes have refined.
 liveyourlife
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 72
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/26/2009 7:04:21 AM
I wouldn't say that we are picky. I think that we have just learned from our experiences. We know what we are willing to compromise on and what the deal breakers are.
 todelicous
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 74
How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:43:43 PM
i think its a been there done that thing
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 75
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 2/26/2009 6:47:26 PM
Well, it's a good thing that Valentinne isn't picky!
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 89
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What are we doing?
Posted: 3/5/2009 10:25:13 PM
I was picky even in my 20's! It made it even harder because I had some financial difficulties back then, too... Maybe I would not have been so had I the cash to burn now...
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 91
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What are we doing?
Posted: 3/6/2009 10:37:47 AM
Is it that we become more picky when older, or is it that we have expanded our want and need list far beyond "that person is hot", like we so did when a teen and in our 20's?

You know, now that you have me thinking back to those years, I remember my thought process when working on having that first car...... I wanted "hot" and "fast", and did not look much into the other things that one should consider when buying a car.

Now that I am much more mature, I still like "hot" and "fast", but will also need to make sure the sticker price is within my comfort zone, that is can cruise and not rattle me to death, and be sleek on the curves, and not just the straightaway.......

So, long story made short..........I was picky when younger, but what I was picky about is far different from what I am picky about now.......go figure.....

Just my opinion.......
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 94
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:19:53 PM
Yvette: It sounds like you've come to understand what many men think.

"Sure, I want to find my forever woman. But, in the meantime, why not have some fun?"

Some of that may be hormonal because you're at your sexual prime and your libido is firing on all eight cylinders! Some of it is just, that you're experiencing LIFE and all it has to offer!

Keep your chin up, stay positive, and roll with it!

BTW, good luck on that forever man, whenever he shows up in your life!
 Chromie
Joined: 10/20/2006
Msg: 99
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How come we all get so picky after 30?
Posted: 3/15/2009 1:07:21 PM
We got wiser. We learned what does and doesn't work in a relationship. We have a better understanding of what we want.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > What are we doing?