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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?      Home login  
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 Gord-OH
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 1
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Do you think there has always been Alpha Females but now that they are coming into their own in the workplace, we are now seeing them as the competition? I work with quite a few of them and I commend them on their efforts but most a hard time securing themselves in a long term relationship.

I have read a lot of the Alpha type profiles here in POF and some females that admit that they have strong personalities, like taking part in competitive sports, have high educations or are ‘professionally’ employed. Then, they usually finish off with that they are looking for the same… which in its right mind would be the Alpha Male. Do you think this would be a relationship that is ultimately going to fail because of the competitiveness?
 kokomo
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 2
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:35:01 PM
I thought Alpha and Female were synonymous. lol
 Felinessa
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 3
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:36:25 PM
To be honest, I was slightly disturbed by your post. First, your subject line asks if there is such a thing as the Alpha Female. Why wouldn't there be? You yourself admit that you see such examples routinely. So I'm not sure I understand why you'd even ask, unless you are suggesting that this is a pretend "alpha"-ness.

Secondly, why the quotation marks around professionally employed? Are we questioning the fact that there are many women in professional jobs? Are we not taking the word professional seriously? It may be that you were not aware that using quotation marks indicate sarcasm.

Thirdly, I don't see why two alpha people would not get along. The competition issue might arise if they are working in the exact same field and fighting for the same promotion, but such cases are probably a small percentage. What it boils down to is the fact that many people out there want someone who is equally intelligent, educated, motivated, who has a similar lifestyle and similar goals. I'm working on my third degree, I am professionally employed, I prefer opera to Britney Spears and Shakespeare to pulp fiction. As a result, I want someone who is on a par with me - not an unemployed slacker who doesn't get why I stress over deadlines and who thinks culture means "Family Guy." Also, I am secure enough to not feel threatened by a partner's success - on the contrary, I would feel proud and as if I made a good choice.

Now the question is - how do men deal with alpha females? I suspect there was some insecurity lurking behind that post.
 blue sunshine
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 4
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:40:26 PM
Yes, and in my domain, that would be ME! :) Ask my dogs (LOL) my kids..and my ex husband!
 keepingit
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 5
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:52:46 PM
Yes there is Alpha female. Always has been. A dominant female will arise in any female oriented setting. The charachteristic has to do with a leadership pecking order. Now there is a gray area with respect to a buisness setting. Alpha is a biological and genetic term. It has been widely miss used. I look at it with respect to lets say pack animals. The alpha wolf wants the entire pack to survive but he has, by presence and brutality when needed, claimed the breeding rights to the females. This is a genetic encoding. The alpha needs no approval or praise or any other thing from the opposite sex........other than sex. Breeding rights.
The pack follows because he is thier best chance at survival. Alpha's in a survival setting kill, hunt, are sometimes savage. I can see this in humans as well. When the Alpha female is Alpha in buisness it is something different. However when it come to sex and relationships she will be most happy when the man she is with is very Alpha.
She will have more sex partners than most women but it doesn't come from a neediness or a need for a man's approval. It comes from something else. She just takes what she wants.
 blue sunshine
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 6
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:04:10 AM
^^^ You might be on to something there Keep! It's interesting you say that an alpha female needs to be in a relationship (when they're in one) with an even more Alpha Male.....that would explain a lot in my past relationships....hummmmmm.....really, I am enlightened! I'm kinda trippin' here! lol....
 Gord-OH
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 7
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:05:49 AM
Ouch...

I am sorry that my post offended you; it was not my intention to upset anyone. Actually it was my intention to bring this idea to some of the men out there that don’t have a clue. I have an alpha female boss, and she and I get along great because we respect and understand each other very well. But I understand that, and I don’t attempt to step a foot into her area of responsibility or place myself in front of her.

Felinessa... it was nice of you to list your items as first second and third just in case I would get lost in the explanation of your post. Congrats... you’re an alpha and a defensive one at that. Hhmmm, would you do the same if a female started the post...?

I placed he quotations around the word professional because most females that have professional careers want to let you know right away in their profiles to let you know where they stand in the community (pack) and nothing less will do. I describe my career as professional in my profile as but I don’t mention that I am looking for the same. I find all people interesting, not just the white collared.

As for being insecure in my post… well, I’m not the one on the soap box being defensive and shouting to the masses.
 Gord-OH
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 8
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:08:11 AM
Very well put Keeping!
 Felinessa
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 9
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:08:32 AM
I haven't met a guy who is more Alpha than I am, to be honest. I haven't met one who is at least as Alpha as I am. But it would be a nice challenge, and if it resulted in mutual admiration, I think the sparks would be just amazing.

I have noticed, however, that most men turn a bit submissive around me ... that tends to get a bit boring. The clash for dominance can be exciting, but I'd prefer reaching a plateau on which you work as partners to inflict your Alpha-ness on everyone else
 Gord-OH
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 10
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:12:49 AM
I think that a lot of men are attracted to the Alpha Female hence they do have a lot more partners.

But should a relationship always have that competitive? Always trying to out do each other... is there a plateau if you’re always trying to be better than your partner?
 longte
Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 11
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:40:39 AM
I know a couple here fairly well

She is a Barrister, very well respected and goes for the jugular both in court and out of it

He is a Highly Respected Foreman in a Construction Company here

Both would be considered Alpha, and as far as I know neither bothers having multiple partners

They match up very well together, but in very different ways, and have been together since she finished University

So the conjecture about more partners is probably wrong in this instance
..
.
 Felinessa
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 12
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:05:00 AM
I don't think we can or should postulate what a relationship should be like. People are different and so are their needs and the type of relationships they choose to engage in. Some will thrive on the competition because they need to be kept on their toes and find that there is a sexually exciting aspect to that. So for them, competition is good and healthy because it keeps the flame alive. Personally, I would prefer reaching the plateau as soon as possible because I enjoy complicity and I think that pursuing world domination as a team is the key to success
 ArchDemon
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 13
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:24:40 AM
Alpha females make the best foot warmers :)
 longte
Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 14
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:44:09 AM
^^
Actually you are completely correct about that

An Alpha couple will try to outdo each other in many ways
One of these is in keeping the relationship Spicy and Going Forward

Providing unexpected treats is just an everyday occurence
..
.
 Dahliakitten
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 15
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 1:50:37 AM
I would say I am a alpha female. And I do have problems with dating strong men. They always try to over dominate me in several areas. I am not attracted to submissive men. I walk all over them, although they like that. I don't. So now I am on my 2nd date with a man. Lets see how it goes. Since he is very educated he may have the edge over me and know how to handle me and not feel threatened or intimidated by my alpha femaleness.
 Gord-OH
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 16
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 2:05:05 AM
I like what both felinessa and Longte had to say. Good points!
 imabelyver
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 17
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 2:46:59 AM
In my opinion, yes there are "Alpha" females. Yes, we are direct competition in the workplace. Yes, we do have a hard time finding a suitable "Alpha" male. And yes, it is very difficult to have a successful relationship once two "Alphas" join, but that is only onen aspect of a personality, you know, being an "Alpha"...that does not define a person, but is simply a part of the whole...people are "Alphas" in different ways...just gotta find one that suits I guess...and have to be able to recognize that there are different ways to be the top of the heap...I think that if you choose someone who is "alpha" in the same way you are, then it will be competitive, but if you choose someone who is premium in a different way than you are, then there may be harmony.
Semper Fi
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 18
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 2:57:27 AM

Do you think this would be a relationship that is ultimately going to fail because of the competitiveness?

No. If anything, it would be one very interesting relationship.
 Gord-OH
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 19
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:03:19 AM
LOL @ Semper Fi

I have done time in the US (Pendleton and Miramar) and met and trained a lot of female Marines. Now that would be a hard enviroment to crack for ans Alpha Female! Even then men are trying to out do each other in every aspect!
 romanticone2
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 20
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:06:17 AM
Well of course htere are , I prefer Cancer myself
 keepingit
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 21
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:26:08 AM

I think that pursuing world domination as a team is the key to success


But of course you do.
 acburbank97
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 22
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:48:52 AM
oh yea....anyone working in an office with multiple Women also working there will see this dynamic, and the struggle for which one is the Alpha Female..VERY REAL.
 thai_paradise
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 23
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:57:10 AM
that's me if you count tennis as competitive sport. I have undoubtedly strong personality; I usually win in a contest of will. I also have higher edu, got multiple degrees in Math/Computer science and Biology. Professionally employed at a Pharma. To add insult to the injury, I have a wild streak and am definitely not domesticated, which means I cannot be nor do I want to be domesticated. And yep, it's difficult to find a match. Thank God I'm happy with myself!



strong personalities, like taking part in competitive sports, have high educations or are ‘professionally’ employed
 acburbank97
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 24
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Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:10:14 AM
Professionally employed?
So you lost your amateur employment status?
 jenzagirl
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 25
Is there such a thing as the Alpha Female?
Posted: 3/12/2006 9:26:09 AM

Since he is very educated he may have the edge over me.


Education has nothing to do with it, IMHO.
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