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 TombstoneTom
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 1
Top 10 danger signsPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I we sitting here today pondering about my experiences in dealing with insincere potential dates, and realized that it would make a good discussion.

These are my experiences, and not written in stone, and only from my perspective. I'd be interested to know /discuss the subject from others.

No, This is NOT DR. Phill !!! ((I'm actually closer to Jerry Springer)

Top 10 Indications of Games, according to me:

1Your Potential date suddenly always has an excuse to cancel, (Three strikes you're out is how I handle it)

2 IF you are talking to a potential date on the phone, and you hear the computer keyboard constantly clicking, or far to slow on the I'm,(other than server trouble) Chances are you arent the only one being played. To me it's also rude. I deal with one on one, after all, if I can't give her my undivided attention, I'm not showing her any respect

3 constantly answering/yacking on the cell phone on a date(I turn mine off)

4 Some disaster/drama always seems to come up everytime you are together (things do happen, but not every time)

5 constantly wanting to borrow money

6 Constantly deriding and talking about an ex.

7 you get the "just friends" label. (in short, you are free to take her /him out, but you wont get any benefit(Im NOT talking about sex) out of it.

8 The first question is "what do you do for a living"???(or always tring to shift the conversation toward it)

9 Your date is unconfortable with eye contact(shifting, looking at the floor ECT.

10 Your date is far too busy to talk, e-mail. If you dont have the time, why try? relationships take time and hard work.

Top 10 Indications of a date/mate who is going to dump you.

1 They always walk ahead of you(sounds stupid, but true)

2 New, sudden and mysterious "friends"

3 A new job that just happens to be on a graveyard shift or during quality time(not always, but worth pondering) a unwillingness to compromise.

4 Suddenly accusing you of infidelity

5 Demanding that you change or else

6 Unexplained jump in cell phone bills

7 Unexplained problems with checking account/credit card

8 Gets angry at you for showing any affection in public

9 finding yourself alone more & more

10 You have a feeling of loneliness and you hurt worse with them than alone.

Thoughts/ comments??
Tom
 danniegirl86
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 2
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:50:25 AM
ha ha...lol...all of those are sooooo true!

How about this:

*Not ever wanting to go out, just wanting to stay in all the time (they are ashamed of you, but want the sex)
 TombstoneTom
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 3
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:10:11 AM
Hey DannyGirl86

Exellent point! Maybe this is a start of a good book!


TOM
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 2:15:47 PM
100% good stuff.

-G
 PepperStar
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 5
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 2:37:23 PM
When you are with them they are very romantic and want to have sex with you, but they keep checking in to POF?
 AREALANGEL
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 6
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 2:54:01 PM
Those are good ones..

also

1) The hedging of weekend plans when asking what they are doing this weekend?

2) The old restaurant bathroom technique..staying in there longer than they should and coming out with a red face..from a cell phone conversation.

3) also at the same time...they left their wallet sitting on his drawer making you pay.

4) Telling you they have the weekend off but have a lot of things they need to do like paint the house, needs to visit a sick friend who lives out of town, or just I don't know but I may have to work this weekend..I will not know until Saturday morning if I have to..

5)They call you by another name and ask how your son Derrick is? When you don't have kids!!

6)His tattoo reads Jail Slut

7)He calls his mom and arranges for her to meet you during the first date.

9)He brings his son to the first date and asks his son if you look like his mom? and they both have a conversation about the differences...(TRUE STORY)

10.He asks what your daughter is doing this weekend?
 cutiepieall4u
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 7
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 3:49:19 PM
Well done. I always avoid the 'what do you do for a living?' question when I'm on a date. There's more important things to talk about.
 justskippingstones
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 8
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 5:51:20 PM
I will agree with your 10 warning signs they are accurate and honest.

My experience from single men on date sites:

I had one man Instant Message me and we were not more than two minutes into the chat and he started with the "bar room trash talk". I was not real happy about that and ended the conversation. He then e-mails me and tells me that it was a good thing that I ended the conversation the way I did, that way he did not have to bother with me any farther. At first I was rather insulted, then I thought...NO...this man is a loser, why on earth would I feel hurt by a man that I really didnt want know by the way he was talking to me. I should be thanking him for showing me who he really was up front. That way, I know not to wasted my time finding out he was a jerk.

I have met some really nice men on single sites. No second dates though...makes me kinda sad. But oh well. Ladies and Gentlemen...when they say they are just too busy or have too many irons in the fire....thats the polite way of telling someone you really arent interested and move on.

I feel I am date worthy. I listen to what he has to say, I have eye contact with him. Im not looking around the room at other people or other men. I listen to them go on about their ex-wifes...(to a point). I smile, offer to assist with the tab. I dont know....single at 46 is just nuts. Sometimes, I think to myself...why even bother. But, life goes on...and on...and on.
 lavachick
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 9
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 6:03:07 PM

Well done. I always avoid the 'what do you do for a living?' question when I'm on a date. There's more important things to talk about.


I usually avoid this question if asked too. When I do answer it, I usually only give a part truth -- for example, if I were a doctor (which I am not) I wouldn't say I was a doctor, but rather that I work in a doctor's office.

I ain't gonna be no one's sugar momma.
 barb550
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 10
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 6:57:23 PM
I agree especially about hearing the keyboard during a telephone conversation and not contacting you for days and you can see that the person has been online. Hum...
 panaqqa
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 11
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 7:03:10 PM

9 Your date is unconfortable with eye contact(shifting, looking at the floor ECT.


I'm not sure I agree with this one, but it could be a danger sign I suppose. Still, I doubt I am the only man in here who used to be painfully shy when I was young, especially with women.
 sweetsmile3
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 12
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 7:12:44 PM
Hmmm... good ones... how about these:

1) Sends you flowers on Valentines
2) Tells you he thinks you are the most wonderful person he's ever met
3) Says he feels like the luckiest man in the world to have you in his life
4) Talks about all the great things you are going to do together

Apparently those were red flags that I was about to get dumped 4 days later.... so I would include those on the list of "danger signs" for sure!!
 JJBrooks
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 13
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 8:12:26 PM
VERY insightful! I was heartbroken to find that once my work scheduale changed (no more weekends and holidays) that my "soulmate" was not available, I guess I wasn't important enough for "prime-time". But then again, it may be because HE WAS MARRIED!!! There goes honesty, I am just glad I found out when I did and that I didn't continue to invest my heart & soul in a coward who couldn't be honest!
 JJBrooks
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 14
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 8:17:59 PM
yep! That's what I'm talkin 'bout
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 15
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:07:05 PM
yes i know most of these. and agree with the posts, i bet theres dozens more as well
 hope floats
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 16
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:27:58 PM
Hey "Tom" are you sure your not ...DR.Phil you are so right...and each and every one of them can leave a mark if you let it.....OUCH!!! If only we were smart enough to see it comeing at # 1....
 minibikegi
Joined: 10/5/2004
Msg: 17
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:48:23 PM
Youre 30 yr old g/f tells you her mother doesnt want her to date you anymore? lol so very true! grrrrrrrrrr
 Dahliakitten
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 18
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:03:37 PM
Great data. Please share more as times goes on.
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 19
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:31:24 PM
Well, chatting with multiple romantic interests is creepy for me.

First, I don't like to have more than one RI at a time. I don't feel the need to cultivate connections emotionally with multiple people, it's not fair to them if they are cultivating same for me.

Second, since I don't do it, it's annoying to me to be involved in a chat and have to wait those god-awful extra beats while the woman catches up.

If you decided I'm good enough to chat to, then at least assume I have the quality to merit your undivided attention even if you have to keep it short to manage your numerous maybe pile. If for any reason, I blow it, then feel free to bid me good day and move on...don't waste your time...but geez.

On the other hand, if a woman is talking to one of her friends and me at the same time, that doesn't feel as strange, and I like to think I can sense the difference. There's usually a certain feeling I get that I'm more interesting than whatever else may be going on...it comes through in the text somehow. I can't explain it exactly, but if I get that impression then I don't get annoyed.

-Greg
 lookerseeker
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 20
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:48:07 PM
Good answer Pepper Star: I can relate to that one for sure, and Tombstone Tom's are great.
 carrie bradshaw
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 21
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:56:21 PM
Dear OP;
All I want to add is that I agree and thank you for the posting of that information. I can just imagine how many women were checking off all that apply.
 Chickitta
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 22
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:48:17 PM

Hmmm... good ones... how about these:

1) Sends you flowers on Valentines
2) Tells you he thinks you are the most wonderful person he's ever met
3) Says he feels like the luckiest man in the world to have you in his life
4) Talks about all the great things you are going to do together

Apparently those were red flags that I was about to get dumped 4 days later.... so I would include those on the list of "danger signs" for sure!!


Hmm, I felt like I was reading something I wrote.........this EXACT same thing happened to me.....4 days to. Craziness.
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 23
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/15/2006 1:58:17 AM
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT SOMEONE IS NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP

10. Always talking about how they don't need a relationship
9. Was first in line for half price chocolate the day after Valentine's day
8. Laughs at anything
7. Goes through a surprising number of "D" cell batteries
6. Actually gets work done at work
5. Can suddenly keep up with discussion of last night's show
4. No longer avoids dessert
3. Is on time Monday morning
2. Sticks finger down throat and makes gaging noise at the sight of couples

And the #1 way you can tell someone is not in a relationship

50+ FORUM POSTS A DAY!
 maree12
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 24
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Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/15/2006 2:04:26 AM
Frightening Tom. You need to add that they don't want to introduce you to their friends anymore. We are in the 8, 9 and 10 stage at the moment, but I have nowhere to go.
 newchick111
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 25
Top 10 danger signs
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:25:23 AM
Here is a good one.. when your hubby is gone for 2 or 3 days at time and is miffed at the fact that you dare to ask him... "where have you been".......was told it was "none of my business" by his mom!!....

It happens..or course I am divorced....
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