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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 2
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
profession matters somewhat...
you cant be with someone who isnt happy
and having a job you dont like is a major source
of unhappiness for many people.

Its nice to find someone who not only likes
what they do.... but has balanced life and work.....

workaholics are no fun to be around.
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 4
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:31:20 PM
I like friends who are happy too ^... LOL

and I dont go out and use people like meat... so
guess I'll stick to people who are content with
their lives
 sammysalt1
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 5
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:32:12 PM
My husband was a logger who workers self employed, rainy days meant no pay check, So you no it wasn't about his job are money. Thats what he did when I met him.
 wahya
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 7
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:35:24 PM
Sometimes your profession gives you a bad name, even if you aren't involved in some of the things people believe. I have been driving otr, stay to myself (no lot lizards), but the first time I tell someone what I do for a living, usually the first statement is about "all the women."
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 11
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:50:53 PM
I agree that a person has to like what they do...and not be obsessive about it.


BUT..If you are really talking about how financially successful... I'm not impressed with a person based on how much money he makes. The profiles with men in front of their Mercedes with lots of references to their vacation homes just turns me off. I think it would matter more HOW he managed his money. If a guy makes 6 figures and spends double that I'd worry about a long term relationship. If a man makes a modest amount and lives within his means I'd feel more comfortable becoming involved with him.

Now..when it comes to intelligence..THAT makes a difference. I'd rather date a garbage man with a brain than a Trust Fund Baby without one.
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 12
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:53:28 PM
BTW~ ImSneaky..I've survived for 35 years making less than 6 digits..I've also been the main bread winner, bought a house, educated 2 kids and have a plan for my retirement..Jeesh..YOU must be one of those TrustFund Babies I was talking about.
 ab_qt
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 17
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:08:44 PM
Aslong as he's making something of himself either by a career or education, then I'm fine. When afew guys from this site found out what I do exactly I noticed a HUGE difference in their attitudes towards me and all of a sudden they wanted to hook up and meet. So I think some men out there give a sh.t about careers rather then women always being label as wanting a guy with a good career.
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 18
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:10:31 PM
Getta CLUE ImSneaky..I'm from Massachusetts..a school teacher..Master's Degree..Worked 34 years..I don't even make $70,000.
 wahya
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 24
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:25:43 PM
Does the 6 figures include the decimal point?
 wahya
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 29
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:30:07 PM
it was a joke........
 canadianbakeun
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 34
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 2:43:01 PM
imsneaky must be referring to the real lowlifes on this planet not being able to make six figures...you know the six figures that her friends with half a brain over thirty make (drug dealers?)....lowlifes like soldiers, firefighters, emt's, cops and teachers.....you're a real piece of work dudette....
 canadianbakeun
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 37
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 2:57:52 PM
what do you mean you don't know if YOU could live on it?....damn girl i'm sure every dude out there is looking forward to hearing that they will be supporting you through life....you're a gold digger....it's that simple....
 canadianbakeun
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 39
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 3:08:57 PM
sneaky...you're the one who wrote in her last post that I COULDN'T LIVE ON IT so how about you profread K?.....
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 40
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 3:12:18 PM
Their occupation shouldn't be what's important but what should be is if they enjoy what they're doing, and if they're living comfortable without struggling all the time. (Because of course if they are struggling, they won't be happy) Also, are they willing to stay where they're at or do they want to progress and build not only independently but as a partner?

For the record, I make well over 6 digits and my income is often times not enough for me now. Everyone has different values when it comes to money and most of that is decided by what demands are placed on you. I think a lot has to do with where we're all located and what the cost of living is like in each area. Here, you can't touch a townhouse for under 315,000. My mortgage is 3,500 a month with another 1000. on top of that for taxes. I also have children in college to the tune of 20,000 - 40,000 a year. That's a lot of money to most people. If I didn't make the money I do, there's no way I'd be able to live...(HERE!) where I grew up! The people around me are making even higher digits than I am. It's unbelievable to me and totally out of hand, but nevertheless.....the way it is!

Now, would I have a problem going out with someone making less. NO. The reason is, I've learned that money isn't what's important in life, but people are. Of course I wouldn't choose to live in this area where we'd have to struggle to get by nor would I be able to on a lower income level. I would however find another area where the cost of living was less and we could still be comfortable on whatever income was coming into the household! The ultimate goal is happiness......and understanding each others needs and desires and whether or not their goals are mutual or obtainable is an important issue when deciding to connect.
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 46
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 3:48:12 PM
@4loorplay: Yes, being physically and mentally (and I'll even add sexually) attracted to each other are very important but not what's going to keep you together. You can be totally physically and/or mentally attracted to someone but if you're not compatible with your values and goals you probably won't make it.

For example..I see that you're self employed. If you're like me, that means a varied schedule sometimes depending on what your business is, and what the demand for what you're selling is. There are many people who can't live with that life style. Those people are happier with a 9 - 5 job, and having their significant other there with them during the most important times of the day. A profession that calls for someone to work midnights for example may not be acceptable to someone who works days. When that happens it doesn't matter how attracted to each other they are physically or mentally because socially they can't get it together. That even goes as far as enjoying totally different things in life. Some people can't, and won't try other things or have no desire to change. In those instances too...all the attraction in the world for them physically and mentally won't make the relationship work. If you like country blaring on your radio all the time, and I like rock and roll.....one of us is not going to be happy at one time or another..even if we did compromise. : )

@Chuck: Good thread!!! and thanks for that compliment up there ........ and I wouldn't trade you for all the money in the world!!
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 48
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 4:34:38 PM
@4loorplay:

Geeez, I almost thought we were in agreement just wording things differently lol...but I'm not sure. Let me pull something apart here..

I agree, the job titles don't mean squat.
I disagree with what you think I mean in the other area though..because I don't..lol (yikes does that make sense?) A mate should come first...however if they both want/need (and who's to determine one's needs?) a particular life style, then it has to be a mutual goal. If one is willing to settle for just getting by, and the other is ambitious and wants to keep moving ahead, then it won't work regardless of how attracted to each other they are physically, mentally or sexually.

I know..maybe the thing we're getting confused with is the word mentally! When I say they can be attracted to each other mentally..I'm referring to the way the person thinks in general, and their intelligence. Often times that's not enough though if the person's desires/wants/needs are not the same as the other person.

Did that help?
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 49
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/19/2006 5:40:08 PM
You explained it well enough for us to agree..lol Cheers to you too!
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 51
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/20/2006 3:37:35 PM
I don't define who I am by what I do..but you have to admit...

A person's profession tells a lot about the kind of person he/she is. If MONEY was one of my top priorities I certainly would not have chosen to be a teacher. ..at least not in the US

So..I guess that the kind of work a person does would factor into choosing a mate..but I would certainly try NOT to judge a person using generalities..(ie..lawyers are sleezy, doctors are all intelligent, postal workers have anger issues..etc etc) Judging is the problem there!
 creehazy
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 54
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:52:18 PM
I wouldn't date anyone on welfare; besides that, as long as they aren't miserable and aren't going to make me miserable, I really don't care what they do for their livings. I have employment, and I make my own money. :)
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 55
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How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 3/21/2006 5:12:36 PM
I don't think she has the bar set too high at all, and perhaps everyone is not looking at the whole picture.

As I said, depending on the area we all live in, 6 digits may almost be a neccessity. The part of NJ that I live in, most people I know make that, or close to it, including myself.... and we all have to in order to live in this area.
Just as the cost of living varies from state to state, and even within a state....so do the salaries. It's all relative. What may seem like a lot to one person, may not seem like a lot to another depending on what they have to shell out for their living expenses.

I say...go for it! Strive to do your best and never get discouraged. Above all else though, find happiness in what you do and never forget that in the overall picture of things..it's people, and not money, that are important.
 shellaire
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 57
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 8/29/2006 7:09:08 PM
Love knows no profession.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 58
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 8/29/2006 8:57:06 PM
I think it's very dependent on circumstances.

Scott Petersen has a profession. It's being incarcerated. But he's a decent looking guy and he was on TV ALOT the past two years. Apparently he is getting tons of fanmail from young good looking women who want him and like him and maybe even love him. Then again, he's never going to get to nail any of them. So he might be a textbook case of a guy who can get as much 'tang as he wants, even more than an astronaut, but what put him in that position is the same thing making sure he gets zilch from chicks the rest of his life.

I hate to say it, but often it boils down to if your wife or girlfriend can brag about you or not. If she's got friends where all their mates are doing not as well as you financially and careerwise, then you've got no problems. But if all her friends are married and screwing CEOs and heads of movie studios and you are a janitor, then you might have some problems. Then there is a prestige factor. If you have a job that pays very little or average but you are in the public eye alot (think some local news personalities not in the huge cities), then that carries some weight. Many doctors make nearly nothing their first few years out of school when you consider their loans and other financial obligations, but it's impressive for their wives and mother in laws to brag about.

You will date and possibly marry who you are exposed to in life. If you are a lawyer, you are around lawyers all day, you will probably marry another lawyer. So I think your profession matters also in a context where that profession links to another profession logically. Lots of cops marry nurses. Well cops are always at hospitals, makes sense. Professors sometimes marry their college aged students. Well they see each other alot and interact alot, makes sense.

If you are a woman, your profession matters very little in some ways other than the issue of access to certain men in certain professions. If you are a man, then it matters alot more. Women marry and date upwards, this is a dating reality. Observation, history and statistics all bear this reality out. The lower you are on that social ladder, the fewer options you have underneath you to pick from as a guy.
 Mrs.Bucket
Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 59
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 8/29/2006 8:59:28 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>It plays a big part...like maybe 9 out of 10 kinda part<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Mrs.Bucket
 ChaoticDreamer
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 69
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 9/3/2006 5:23:34 PM
A Major part.....if the guy is a professional bum
 A 58 Fury
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 70
How much does a profession play a part in choosing a mate??
Posted: 9/3/2006 8:15:55 PM
I think that if two people are at different stages in their lives it would have an impact on their potential relationship. I look at the persons potential to be ready for retirement at the same time I am. For instance, if he is already retired, he may have a problem with me continuing to work, or if he is younger than I, will he want to retire when I am ready. That can break up a relationship very quickly. Of course if the couple has enough years to be able to plan a financially secure retirement for them both to retire at the same time, that would be different. Since many people list their profession as retired, it is another aspect to consider.
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