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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????      Home login  
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 wahya
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 8
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????Page 1 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I think we have learned that it takes 2 to enjoy, and the pleasure should be enjoyed by both...
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 9
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/26/2006 2:56:31 PM
I think that by the time most men are "over 45", they have learned that not only is it quite pleasing to please their partner ...
... but taking the time to please their partner gives them more time in the sack with her as well. I'd say that's an unbeatable combination, not to mention quite desirable.

I think too, that they have also reached the point in their life where things just aren’t so “urgent” any more and eventually, due to work demands or family demands or combinations thereof, things just sort of get shoved to a back burner. I can see where that could give one the appearance that the libido is suffering, but in truth, that’s not the case.

You put a man with a woman who truly loves him … and vice versa … and the libido will still be there. If there are other physical problems, I say where there’s a will, there’s a way … thankfully modern medicine is seeing to that on a daily basis.

From a woman's perspective ... there's nothing hotter ... or more masculine ... or more manly … than a man who knows how to take the time to please his lover and is willing to do it every time. She may not even want it every time, but to know that the offer stands ... that's just downright hot!

There is “sex” and there is “lovemaking”. It has been my experience that most men “over 45” have matured to the point where they are more interested in quality over quantity and (I’m generalizing here) I would venture to say that most women they are inclined to be with at that point are also seeking quality over quantity. (Okay ... who are we kidding here ... every once in a while it's also really hot to just go for it and have "hot monkey sex"!)

Speaking for myself … I enjoy both (sex and lovemaking) and would want a partner who is still interested in participating. If I had to choose one over the other … it would be (hands down) “lovemaking” … that’s just my personal preference. I want a man who is not in a rush ... who is willing to do what it takes to please.

I have not physically been with a lot of men in my life, but in conversation … the men I am friends with over the age of 45 tell me their libidos are just fine and given the choice, they would want quality over quantity.

Most are just not able to find the right lady ... and POF is working on that ... right? RIGHT?
 wahya
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 10
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/26/2006 3:00:35 PM
Cotter, you said it!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 17
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/26/2006 6:06:31 PM
@99 ...
From what I have seen of your posts, you are a smart man and that is extremely attractive. You have admitted that you still love sex and get aroused and all the rest ... that sounds good to me. By the time I was 46, my looks had changed too ... that's normal. The last I looked, it's part of the aging process.

I was never into the "male model" type ... I've always been more attracted to a man I can have a stimulating conversation with ... intelligent, practical, non-materialistic, yet dependable and monogamous. Big houses, fancy cars, and all the latest gadgets mean little or nothing to me. Of course, it's desirable if he can support himself, but that doesn't necessarily mean he has to have a big bank account ... unless he has expensive hobbies.

You may be pleasantly surprised to find that there are a lot of women out there who much like myself, are really more interested in having a man at her side who is caring and capable of caring about the woman he is with. If you have that, most of the things you described as "potential problems" cease to exist.


It's like having a rusty beater of a car. It makes you feel shabby, no matter whether it runs good or where you drive to. Hi libido + low sex appeal = no play.
A man can pick me up in an old car any day. As long as it gets me where I'm going ... I DON'T CARE ... I just don't care!

 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 21
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:44:32 PM
lipstick ...

...ok so if an older gent increase their desire for having ‘sex’ (lovemaking) by exercising their libido consistently by masturbation (of sorts), does it meet the needs of women in their prime? Prime for ladies being 40's and late 40's or in some cases early 50's.....
Libido is "drive or desire" ... that's the brain part of sex. Often, male hormones influence "drive" ... testosterone ... bald men have more. Some women actually seek bald men for that reason.

If a man has no "drive" (desire) ... chances are he will not be getting erections. Being able to get an erection requires "drive" (desire) as well as the physical ability to send enough blood to the penis in order for it to become erect. Also, there are physical problems that exist that even if the man can send the blood to the penis, it will not stay in the penis and he will lose the erection. Even all the drive in the world can't help that problem ... that's when it becomes time for the "little blue pill".

Consistently masturbating is self pleasure of an erect penis. One can assume that the "drive" is there if a man is able to cause himself to get an erection.

Consistently masturbating does not necessarily "create" more libido unless you consider that if a man feels good about himself, that "boosts" his libido ...
... and by masturbating (showing himself he can still get an erection) that could make him feel good about himself and boost libido?
GUYS ... help me here!

I question the above for reasons that older gents seem to be attracted to younger ladies as well as older women contemplating relationships with younger men.
I can not medically explain that ... you're gonna have to ask a shrink about that.


With what I just noted, could it be that younger ladies do not desire 'making love' to the degree us olders do?????
I think the best way to find that out is ask them. Do a thread targeting the age range of women you think the older men are chasing ... here on POF ... the members will tell you anything you want to know!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 25
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/26/2006 9:41:23 PM

"testosterone ... bald men have more. Some women actually seek bald men for that reason." While us 'other' see bald men as sexy, has nothing to do with testosterone
Right ... I am one of the ladies who happen to find bald men (balding as well) sexy ... has nothing to do with the testosterone stuff ... just a preference.


Actually, cotter, I've read that if a man wants to increase his 'libido', one increases his 'lust' for it by participating in its pleasures thus increasing the desire for it
Which is what I said ... masturbating makes him feel better about himself ... boosts libido.


... no need for the little blue pill.
A man can have all the "libido" in the world which triggers the blood to run to the penis and create the erection (saturates the erectile tissue). However, if he has other "physical" problems (diabetes and heart conditions to name two), then chances are the "erectile tissue" in his penis will not "hold" the blood in his penis long enough for him to perform sex or even masturbation.
If that becomes the case, then that's when you reach for the "little blue pill" which will "chemically" stimulate the "erectile tissue" to retain the blood.

There is a misconception out there about the "little blue pill" or any other medication designed to treat ED. Popping the pill does not give men an instant or guaranteed erection. If a man is not stimulated through drive and touch and caressing or even visual stimulation, the pill is not necessarily gonna work. If you don't believe me ... look it up in a medication book. I have one here I can quote you out of ... it sort of goes with my profession.

Anyways ... if a man cannot maintain an erection ... for whatever reason ... it doesn't matter how old or young his partner is ... there will not be sex or "love making" in the traditional way of a man penetrating a woman's vagina.


I would rather support the theory that creating the desire by being consistent therefore creating certainty would be higher on my list then having the 'perfect man' (your ego based theory) which can be rare....right?
Support whatever theory you want ... consistency with masturbation or not ... libido plays a role. But more importantly, if a man lacks the physical ability to hold blood in his penis (functioning erectile tissue) there will be no long-lasting erection.

Sorry ... didn't mean to get so technical, but that's the physiology of it. What a man does with it is his own business!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 28
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/27/2006 12:27:19 AM
Giggles....crumbs.....Cotter your not really sorry are you?
Sure … but not about putting the information out there. Just sorry it appears I have bored you to death.

Even more sorry that my posts attracted the scum who posted above and below you … he knows who he is and gets a great deal of pleasure out of stalking me in the forums and making ugly remarks about my posts. He basically hates women and I do try to avoid him, so now that he’s found this thread, I’ll get out of it or he will just ruin it for everyone.


Don’t’ think too many men are going to respond for fear of being diagnosed...
I doubt it that they will fear that … most of them know me and know I don’t mean any harm …


Actually cotter, every now and then, its fun to create a bit of controversy ....just to get more people off their butts and interacting.....all in fun
Sorry if I spoiled your fun … I’ll leave you to your “friend” (post 26 & 28) … you all have fun now!

 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 35
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/27/2006 4:00:30 PM
@deetoyou ...
Any confident,non self involved or shallow woman looks past a rusty exterior. It's much better to have a well oiled,reliable machine that runs like a top than a high mainenance Jaguar. You sell yourself short 99c, after reading your profile, I believe you have a sexy brain.
Yes dee ... I've noticed the same thing. I wish he'd show us what he looks like ... I'll bet he's really cute and just doesn't want us to know.

With that sexy brain ... could be if puts up a picture the ladies will just swarm all over him!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 40
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/28/2006 10:56:31 AM
^^^@jn ...
Yes ... it is something that most of us are not willing to give up on just yet. Now if we could just find that partner who not only wants it too, but could be everything else we seek.

@99...
And she will also hear from one or two happy women that not only is it possible to enjoy lovemaking with an older man, it is preferable.
Absolutely right ... nothing like an older, more experienced lover ... they take their time with you ... not in such a rush ... honestly do seek to please ... making one wonderful "love-making" session an incredible sensual rollercoaster ride that beats the thrills of the amusement park ride 1000 times over and you don't even have to leave the house to ride. The "younger" man hurries through things with the intent of preparing for round two or three ... innocently thinking that more is better. He has not yet learned that it's just not a marathon ... fast is not always good.
Us older men, through our association, pay those few happy women to advocate on our behalf. It's a form of viral marketing online.
99 ... It's coming up on the first of the month ... promise me that if you end up not being able to send the check (per our contract) that you will take it out in trade! Whew ......
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 41
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:48:52 PM
I have no idea.What do you consider an older man??
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 45
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/29/2006 4:26:11 AM
^^^There you go ... a guy who knows how to please ... apparently no libido problems there. Glad to hear it ... we have a lot still to look forward to.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 51
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:41:55 PM
@lostagain ...
On the other hand if your talking sexual "pleasing" and older men I think it might have a lot to do with that dreaded ED,older men we would hope will not leave you wanting.
Please let me extend my deepest sympathies ... you have probably never experienced an older man in the way I have. Older men do not enjoy pleasing women because of the "dreaded" ED ... they enjoy pleasing us because it's fun, it's very satisfying, they get to take their time with us and it gives them more time with us in the sack ...

... I hope the guys jump in here and help me. They would know best why they enjoy pleasing us. I just thoroughly enjoy it that they like it so much.


I don't think libido has anything to do with ED.
You've got that right ... no matter how much libido a man has, if he has ED, he will need medical help, but he will also still want you to remain by his side until the pill fully kicks in. Until the pill kicks in, he could probably take you on a very sensual rollercoaster ride ... that is if you're up for it ... it can be quite "pleasing".


... but I have experienced being wanted and being pleased,it was not a libido issue!
You may be mistaken ... you might want to do some reading up on these things.

Good luck with your men ... I'll hold out for one that wants to please me, and ED will not be the subject .......... no matter what.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 58
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2006 7:06:43 PM
What Jim said ... msg. 60

And when they please us ... they can have anything they want ...

(digging out my ticket for the rollercoaster ride ... now just have to find a man)
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 61
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 2:21:49 AM
dbn ...
I have seen you in other threads and Im glad you stopped by. I'm also really sorry you lost your wife ... that's tragic. Thanks for your contribution to this topic ... we needed to hear from you on this.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 65
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:42:16 PM
@dbn
If it wasn’t for the fact that so many women have been spoiled by those sorry feminist attitudes, maybe I would be more willing.
I would just like to say that there are some of us who would still very much enjoy being treated as you described ... the only feminist attitude I place any value on is "equal pay for equal work". Even in my field (nursing), the male nurses are swooping in with no more training or experience than I ... and still getting more per hour.

She said the girls were wondering “what was wrong” with me, being an eligible bachelor who never even dated. Now they know at least part of it.
You are smart and for sure more than able to determine if "dating" is right for you or not ... after what you had and then unfortunately lost.

I'm not sure that I would be going back to the "dating scene" if I had been so lucky to have what you had. That's hard to top. Finding something like that again (I'd wager) would quite rare.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 66
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:13:32 PM
I am so with cotter on this... I am a woman.. I'm a "tomboy" but still a woman, I like for a man to open doors for me, I do not EVER want to use the same public bathroom as men do. I love to be spoiled by a man, I like be treated like a lady and a woman. It is very confusing to men nowadays the way some women act like they are so PUT OUT by them being a gentleman and treating them like a lady. It really burns me up when they spout off, or say some rude comment to some nice man just for them trying to be what they were brought up to be. It has never bothered me when some man calls me sweetie... I was brought up the old southern way. So any of you men who would like to know if any of us REAL women still exist... we do!

Now, Jim.... hmm... no I better keep those thoughts to myself...
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 68
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:26:07 PM
well dbn, it seems to me you are comfortable with yourself therefore the no dating is not a problem for you. That is great that you know yourself and who you are and what you want. People do not realize that once you get that accomplished you are a much better person for it.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 69
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:55:41 PM

So, I put the word out: Social workers and psychologists are verboten in my life. I already have two to contend with. That’s enough. ;-)
Aber ... alle andern sind nicht verboten ...


Anyway, I’m getting myself back into shape now and so will be widening my social activities a little this summer. No hurry, though.
That's good to hear ... you have been through an ordeal for certain with the spondylitis. I hope each new day brings you more freedom of movement.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 74
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/1/2006 7:02:37 PM
^^^ Thank you garry for pointing out how lucky we women are who are fishing here in the "over 45" end of the pond ... not always a lot going on out there, but we like what we see.


Physiology doesn't apply just to older men. Seems there is more motion lotion used by older women ............
That's right and we're using it with our older men ... and BTW "motion lotion" is good for more than one thing ... if you don't already know this, you can email me for details.

OT ... I think it's "pleasing" to be with an older man ... by that of course I mean a gentleman close to my age one way or the other. For sure, it's not just about the sex or love making ... it's the whole picture.

A man close to my age will probably be able to tell me exactly what he was doing when Kennedy was shot ... when they landed on the moon ... .....

......... And while that's not all that important ... it will mean that we grew up at about the same time and we probably also have a lot of other memories we share and can relate to ... I want that too.

 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 80
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:21:23 PM
YES... that way we don't think it is us or something we've done... some men AND women have problems sexually. Why not be up front and honest about it in the beginning.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 81
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:53:58 PM
I dated a man 10 years ago who was impotent ... he told me up front and we dealt with it. We dated well over a year. I appreciated it that he was honest with me. I do believe that he was comfortable letting me know because we had been really good friends prior to becoming a couple.

Certainly for a couple to start having conversations about "sexual problems" they'd probably have to be pretty good friends. It's not something you just let them "sort of" discover, but then again it's not something you just "pop" on your perspective lover.

At what point do you tell them?

 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 85
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/5/2006 1:39:44 AM

Pleasing your partner should be a given in a relationship, always. One should not have to overtly post it to let anyone know that's how you operate. If you aren't out to please your partner, you're just plain selfish.
Yea ... what "annudder" says.

Any guy who wants to keep his lady these days needs to be taking his partner in consideration. I'm so pleased to see that the guys are so in tune with that.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 88
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/5/2006 9:14:43 PM
^^^ goddess.. couldn't have said it any better!!!! Older men ROCK my world!!!
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 90
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/5/2006 10:21:10 PM
These guys on here.. know how to kiss you all over
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 95
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/6/2006 10:02:13 PM
pickles.. in case you haven't noticed.. these men will do anything BUT cool you off!!! But then we soooooooooooo deserve good men with the experience and desire to pleasure us. I'm a Pisces so my "body part" is the FEET.. .yep... my feetsies are sensative... need to redo the nail polish however.... I'm feeling like RED now...
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