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 Jimi8705
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 1
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Does anyone else have this problem?
Should I wait untill the relationship runs its course (which it never seems to do), or should i step up and let them know how I feel? I feel if I wait untill the relationship is over (which may never happen), I will already be too far into the "friend zone"....
any thoughts...
 Not just a member
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 2
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/14/2006 6:49:28 AM
I don't have this problem, because once I find out someone is in a relationship, I don't allow myself to get emotionally attached. You have the choice, quit allowing yourself to become emotionally attached to someone who is spoken for and emotionally attached to someone else. Shift focus, and get out there and find someone who is not. Good Luck and Good Friday to you.
 Jimi8705
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 3
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/14/2006 6:55:37 AM
finding someone single seems so impossible...
It seems as if everyone female i meet is in a relationship, it drives me nuts.
And i normally start to fall for these girls before i even know they are spoken for, then one day the drop the "my boyfriend...."
I can do nothing but smile and just take the fact that life sucks.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 4
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/14/2006 9:19:30 AM
jimi8705,

Yes, you will become a friend, or have a temporary affair at best, only causing trouble and problems.

I have run into a lot of women who had boyfriends or married, and I always wonder "Why is this?" Well, it's not the temptation of forbidden fruit, certainly not for me, as it doesn't tempt me at all. So why does this occur?

Easy. For the same reason when you have a girlfriend, "Murphy's Law" seems to create opportunities for girls talking with you. When it's you, you don't care about impressing any other girls, so you become easier to approach, talkative, etc. When a girl is taken or has a boyfriend, many of them are relaxed and talkative with guys and don't have to worry about potential dating game headaches. So it is actually easier to strike up conversation with a girl who you find out is actually taken, if you're a really nice guy. And there are some who are taken who go out to the bar, etc. to flirt -- using it as a way to get attention that they can't get from their boyfriend (ooh, guys still like how I look!).

Don't put your emotional eggs in those baskets. Seriously. Every girl you talk with, assume she may or may not be taken, and don't have one-itis with your feelings. If she is taken -- fine. If she has female friends, you can end up networking out to them if you become friends with her, and she will talk good about you to her friends. Indirectly, it could be a casual investment. Now, if she has all-guy friends and has a boyfriend, cut it loose. Approach the dating game like a game of numbers, not "oh, I can picture a great relationship with her - it'd be awesome" -- wait until you get a date or two before you start thinking that. ;)

And also make sure you aren't putting out the vibe that "I'm Mr. Nice Guy" -- a girl can really adore that on a friends level, and translate them barely seeing someone into having a boyfriend to keep a distance from ya.
 canneberge
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 5
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/14/2006 10:33:35 AM
agree with you. if i were you i would look around if anyone's at my heel ;)
 Spazoid
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 6
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:16:41 AM

Does anyone else have this problem?


I've had this problem in the past. It's natural. The women in relationships are often in relationships because they are desireable. It's no surprise that these women are taken. It's supply and demand. There is a reason why some women are still single and looking. Many Men and Women would be taken by now if they were "the cream of the crop" so to speak. It's not necassarily about wanting what you can't have.
 redhead363
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 7
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/14/2006 2:36:59 PM
I have a boyfriend and there is another guy that I started chatting with about the same time as my boyfriend....but as fate worked it out, I met my boyfriend face to face first...I did meet this fellow eventually, but along with the distance issue, I decided to stay with what I had.

Now this guy tells me "90% of relationships don't work out, so all I have to do it wait"...So he calls about once a week and we are good friends...but he's always checking to see if we have broken up yet....is that just weird or what???

PS...don't do that....nothing less attractive than a needy man....
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 8
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:33:12 AM
There's an old saying among women:
Never let the old one go until you've got the new one hooked.

Men tend to think in terms of all or nothing when it comes to relationships.
We are either in one, or we are not in anything at all.

For women, no relationship ever really ends.
So there's always someone hanging around which, technically could be called a relationship.
It's only a matter of depth of involvement.
Don't worry so much about who she's involved with at the moment.
Think in terms of how willing she would be to get out of it to be with you.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 9
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:43:25 AM

(OP) Should I wait untill the relationship runs its course (which it never seems to do), or should i step up and let them know how I feel?


Step up and let them know. When I was 19 everyone was in a "relationship". As soon as one boyfriend left they had a date with another one. How many 19 year olds are sitting around afraid to "settle"? Dating was the way of finding out who they wanted. Unless I was there every day a person could be in a relationship one week and dating someone else the following week.

If there is someone you like give them your phone number and ask them to call you if they become single. Unless times have changed 19 year olds changed partners rather quickly.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 10
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/15/2006 2:10:58 PM
Like the song says .... "You can't always get what you want...."
 Jimi8705
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 11
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 4/17/2006 2:16:05 PM
thanks everybody!
 helloiwantpizza
Joined: 4/3/2016
Msg: 12
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/16/2016 5:59:47 AM
my life story. it sucks. another woman will come along to continue the cycle. if the next one's single, it's a matter of luck.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 13
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/16/2016 8:26:44 AM
People will lie to you, it's your job to find out things about people before you get involved. You can't expect other people to do that for you.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 14
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/16/2016 8:39:40 AM
well, if someone has a great personality and nice looks....who WOULDN'T want to hang out with her, get to know her, see where things go? The older a woman gets, the more chances she has to get out of her bedroom at her parents house and meet coworkers, social contacts, customers, etc. Not all men are idiots. We want to feel good, and we know what makes that happen, so we get off our ass rather than wait for things to fall into our lap.

that's why they call it, "getting lucky" :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 15
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/16/2016 7:12:40 PM

Should I wait untill the relationship runs its course (which it never seems to do), or should i step up and let them know how I feel?

Hopefully by now, 10 years later, you've learned that the root of your problem was chasing taken gals. :) Solution: You don't chase them in the first place. You can befriend them to meet some of their friends, but don't chase to be 1-on-1 friends or anything like that to complicate yourself.

I will already be too far into the "friend zone"....

Yeah, exactly. It's not a worthwhile endeavor. You can befriend lots of people on a certain level -- gals with BFs included. Over time, some will become free. Gals who are good catches will be taken more often than not, when not new in town nor on the rebound. Post college it becomes more of a rougher road. Solution? Widen your social pipeline.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 16
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/16/2016 7:16:49 PM

Does anyone else have this problem?


I don't.

But then, I'm an exceptional case.

Next silly question?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 17
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/16/2016 8:34:26 PM
I don't see how anyone call fall for someone when they have not bothered to check if they are available or not. Yes I do think it is a fear of commitment or actually having to have relationship that causes people to pine after the unavailable. If you don't break out of this pattern sooner or later you will end up frustrated and lonely.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 18
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/17/2016 12:50:46 AM

Does anyone else have this problem?
Should I wait untill the relationship runs its course (which it never seems to do), or should i step up and let them know how I feel? I feel if I wait untill the relationship is over (which may never happen), I will already be too far into the "friend zone"....
any thoughts...


That's normal. It just means you like attractive women. You need to move on and talk to women that are single.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 19
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/17/2016 10:03:50 AM

Should I wait untill the relationship runs its course (which it never seems to do), or should i step up and let them know how I feel?


Hopefully by now, 10 years later, you've learned that the root of your problem was chasing taken gals. :)


Some people feel so compelled to babble that they'll talk to ghosts.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 20
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All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/17/2016 1:24:42 PM
Some one brought this thread back from the dead...Um. I hope OP found someone. Creepers used to ask me out when I was taken. They never had a chance after that. I don't respect people that don't respect other peoples boundaries.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 21
All the girls i seem to fall for are already taken....
Posted: 5/17/2016 3:46:35 PM
so, they knew you were taken, yet asked anyway? what other boundaries in life did they not bother to notice?
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