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 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 1
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Dating while unemployed?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
After being out of work since August of last year I finally landed a career position this past Thursday. Kind of funny that in some people's eyes I would have gone from a loser to a winner based on a job offer. If you are out of work for any period of time people will form opinions that you are lazy or whatever. I honestly didn't think it would take that long for me to get a job, but I quit my previou job at a bad time and going into the holidays and end of year I found that the opportunities werent there. Had interviews here and there up through January, and the February was getting calls left and right, but still no final job offers. Finally one of the best opportunities for me called me and actually had me do a few tests to see how good I was at the job, I nailed them and got the job.

Honestly I was putting off dating until I had a good job just because I know how people perceive the unemployed, especially someone who has been unemployed for more than a month. And it lowered my confidence as well. I find myself starting to feel relly good about myself now, amazing how you can wake up one day and after 8 months of questioning yourself, frustrating circumstances, and trying to live within very short means it all changes in a matter of minutes.

Aside from all that I wondered if anyone else has put dating on hold because they were unemployed?
 tcky123
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 2
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:27:10 AM
how can you date if you have no job to even buy a coffee,unless you have you own place .
 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 3
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:31:04 AM
I tried a number of lesser jobs. For some odd reason employers don't want to hire people that they know wont be around for a whole year. I had less luck with lesser jobs than I was way overqualified for than for jobs that I was underqualified for. A college degree works both ways I have found out. When people get the feeling that you are overqualified for a job they wont give you much consideration at all.
 Mistress Merika
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 4
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 11:07:14 AM

I wondered if anyone else has put dating on hold because they were unemployed?


Can't say I have. I don't tend to see a relation between matters of the heart & a wallet.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 5
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 11:38:46 AM
I have been through the whole being out of job and looking for work thing. I'm currently doing that now even. So, yeah, it makes no difference to me if a guy has a job or not. When I see a person, I am not searching for dollar bills. During my job, cause I made good money,I would pay for lunches and dinners for guys, or go dutch. I see no problem in it, and that is not why I am hanging out with the person in the first place. I find it sad that anyone does that.

M
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 6
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:26:05 PM
I've become unable to work for medical reasons

Does that make me ineligible to date and worth less because of it?

I think not. Should I meet someone that could take me as I am at the moment, I would have no fear it was my money she was after.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 7
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:54:50 PM
indigo rose,

Unemployeed for eight months why couldn't you have taken a lesser job in the meantime?
I think working at 7-11 or McDonalds would make one look worse than temporarily unemployed, between real career jobs (unless you're barely 20 or something). :)

I've been in the same boat -- My friend and I, a couple years back decided to start our own company, which got off to a bad start due to the initial connections falling through. It took an unnecessarily large amount of time to get it going, and when it started going some, we moved out of our apartment and instead got an office downtown, but moved in with our parents for a while (ouch!).

Despite having a nice office, it certainly hit our personal confidence, for good reasons. Being conservative with our money (keeping most of it in the business account), and with our temporary living situation -- owning your own company ends up sounding like you're unemployed, to those who doesn't know you or what your business really is.

It has finally grown with a great reputation, but the past couple years were embarassing! It was certainly idiotic to consider dating a fine woman in such situations - not due to time, but due to what it seemed like in most eyes.
 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 2:17:50 PM
For me it was more of a self confidence thing, and I know how much self confidence plays when you are dating. Thanks for all the replies. I know a lot of issues like this is in our heads more than reality. I grew up with a script that based a lot of a man's success on having a job, holding a job, and then beyone that the more money you make the more successful you appear. I don't really care about money myself, but I have learned the value of a job in providing stability for yourself. I wont take that for granted anymore. I guess it is a part of growing up for me.
 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 9
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/15/2006 7:42:53 PM

Well congrates on the new job. I'm curious as to why you quit the old one with out a new one lined up? That would be a big thing for me...anyway. If you are unhappy with your own situation that usually comes across, so people see your unhappiness and its not exactly attractive. Also I personally would worry about having to support some one. I have a few friends that have gone through similar situations, they were thought of as over qualified and not given lesser jobs.
Anyway I'm happy you got your dream job, enjoy, and I'm sure this new confidence will rub off on your dating chances.


Well, I got my previous job when I first moved down to South Carolina. I was kind of pressured into taking the first thing I could get, and while I have a degree in computer information systems I took a job in Customer Service. Pay was close to half what I made in previous job but I had great benefits and got commission which helped. While I liked the company I worked for (Fortune 500 with great revenues), I found that for me to move into my field I would have to move to another state, and I have decided I am not moving anymore. The job got progressively worse in that the commission structure was changed (cut in half) and the job requirements had around 25 points for quality reviews, which made it impossible for anyone to hit all goals. End result was not only did I get b!tched at by customers unhappy with bills (you don't call customer service to let the company know your service is fine, it just goes with the job which I can handle), I was b!tched at by my supervisor for either call times, sales goals, upselling each call, transfers, 15 different points to hit for call quality standards, etc. The end result was there was after 9 months and that final commission structure change cutting my commissions in half I was pretty stressed out after work every day and I kept feeling worse and worse and had enough.

I had a job interview 2 days after I left that looked very promising (tech support), but I had related that I was looking to get further into an IT field, and in the end they told me that they didn't feel I would stay there long enough. I got that a lot for a long time, and the field I am in for programming has little to no entry level jobs they want 3 years experience in very specific programming languages which is impossible to get if there are no entry level jobs. So during my time off I got certified, and the right opportunity presented itself in the same sector that I had my customer service experience in (cellphone industry) but instead of customer service I am doing tech support for a leading company which has a great relation to the company I previously worked for. I am getting paid 50% more, no selling, no bill disputes or anything that made my previous job so frustrating. Plus the company is close to 5 times larger than the previous one (2nd largest company by customer base), and the benefits are just unreal.

I did learn my lesson about having a job lined up before leaving a previous one. In the past I always just moved from one job to another because I didn't have the college degree and I could always get the lower tier jobs quickly. Plus being single with no wife, no kids, no responsibilities other than myself made it easier for me to just up and leave I thought. I don't forsee myself leaving this company. I have to wait a few weeks before I actually start, and the second that happens my resume is coming off the job boards.

Again thanks for the reply this is something I have been looking for really for 2 years now. I settled on the first job, and went into this hoping to find what I ended up with, but honestly I was at the point where I would have taken anything I could get and possibly be in the same situation that spawned this one.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 10
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 9/30/2010 12:25:40 PM
Dude, you look like Ashton Kutcher Not like I'm an Ashton kutcher fan That should be a plus for you with the ladies Go have a good time Bro!!!
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 11
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 9/30/2010 3:31:56 PM
Yeah this is something I have struggled with as well. I graduated from university over a month ago and am still looking for work in my field. I questioned whether I should even be considering dating until I get a job in my field. Most women I have spoken to on here seem to be fairly understanding. They have not completely cut me off after hearing about my situation but I would probably be doing better on here if I was actually working in my profession, since a lot of people seem to like the fact that I'm a male elementary teacher. Almost all messages I get comment on that. But being an employed teacher would probably serve me better!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 12
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 9/30/2010 4:00:43 PM
Yep, I have - just like when I'm working too much, or when I was in school, or any other time that I'm not in the right frame of mind to consider dating a healthy option.

It's not that I worry what people think of me so much as I'm to busy surviving to entertain dating, which to me is more of an extra curricular thing, a luxury/something to do when all your basic needs are met.
 sincere61
Joined: 4/19/2009
Msg: 13
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:35:47 PM
I admit I have put off several people due to their lack of employment. Not because I am after someone's money or would even care if I had to buy dinner once in awhile, but because I have lived with three men none of which were gainfully employed for any great lengtrh of time. During that time I had to work double shifts for us to get by.
Now I am only supporting myself and my two cats. I u cannot risk meeting anyone I might end up having to support for any length of time, I have a mortgage and some other bills and simply could not afford to feed another mouth.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 14
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:48:51 PM
its a good thing men are ok with dating women and many are fine with their women staying home while they are married...
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/3/2010 6:54:22 PM
Heck, yes. I put dating on hold because I'm UNDER employed. The amount of work required to improve my job situation is far too involved and exhausting to risk disappointing someone socially on top of it all! Not to mention that my tension level is too high to risk giving someone a horrible first impression of me.
I wish my area had the kind of venues where people could do things together casually and spontaneously, just for fun. there really isn't anything one can do that doesn't involve planning in advance. I tried to take one of my son's out to a spontaneous very nice dinner one night, when the alignment of the planets allowed it, and found that there's no such thing as going out to eat at a NICE place at the drop of a hat.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 16
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/4/2010 6:03:54 AM
I am unemployed, but a full time college student. I dated a lot in 2008 and 2009, but am taking a break right now because dating got annoying for me and my major requires me to see theater performances (i hope i can find someone there :P)
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 17
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/4/2010 11:18:21 AM
If your a college student that does not count as being unemployed.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 18
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/7/2010 5:20:41 AM
I believe it is worse to date a man who is unemployed because his whole identity is his job. Women don't have that issue so he tends to get depressed, angry and hostile to the female he is dating. I'd rather not go there for that reason alone.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/7/2010 9:27:17 AM
If your a college student that does not count as being unemployed.

It does if you aren't working while attending school, and you're over 18 years of age and no longer a dependent. I was laid off and attending school full time - which made me unemployed.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 20
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/7/2010 5:10:02 PM
i am considered a "dependent" until I am 26 under the contract of my parents' workers union with their employers. I am not working while I am attending school.
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 21
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/7/2010 8:24:48 PM
Perhaps I wouldn't be aggressively seeking out a date. But I wouldn't completely rule it out. If I happened to meet a man I liked at a bar or whatever place, I would still go out on a date with him.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 22
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/8/2010 6:59:27 AM

I believe it is worse to date a man who is unemployed because his whole identity is his job. Women don't have that issue so he tends to get depressed, angry and hostile to the female he is dating.
That's the biggest load of crap I've read on here in awhile. Generalize much?
My "whole identity" is much deeper than my job. Yes, it's a difficult and challenging technical job that consumes much of my time, but if I found myself unemployed and on the dole the Obama administration has handed out, I'd be 24 freakin 7! Depressed? Hardly!
On the flip side, I know a woman who only talks about work and her reason is "I spend all my time there."

That post of yours reeks of bitterness and unfounded assumptions. Just b/c you were with a guy who down bottles of Jack and beat your ass around while unemployed doesn't mean we all do that (my assumptions are more comedic than yours )
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 23
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/8/2010 9:53:52 AM
If your a college student that does not count as being unemployed.

It does if you aren't working while attending school, and you're over 18 years of age and no longer a dependent.


Actually, when you (in general) fill out any job application, on the section asking what is our occupation, "student" is listed underneath all of the options. So, on a technicality, being a college student does count as a job. But at the same time, there are no money earnings unless students are holding down jobs on campus like many of them do.

But there is a lot of record enrollment because nowadays too many people are enrolling due to being unemployed. Not me though. I'm in school to finish off my education, and not just because I'm unemployed and need something to do.

I work as an advertiser/sign holder for Metro PCS, and will soon be picking up more work through a temp service agency, so I'm doing okay for myself.

As for dating while unemployed, I did it once with a guy I really liked. He had no earnings coming in, but I really liked him nonetheless. Would I do it again? Probably not.
 jamisond
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 24
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/8/2010 2:23:32 PM
Even if your not bringing in money as a college student at least you are not frowned upon by society. People don't judge you as much if you are not working but your a full time student.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 25
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 10/8/2010 5:15:04 PM
"Dating while unemployed?"
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Why not? Since when is it a crime to be unemployed?
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