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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > over 30 and still living at home      Home login  
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 Simlasa
Joined: 10/30/2004
Msg: 9
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over 30 and still living at homePage 1 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
People used to live with their parents for their entire lives... were they all 'immature'?
Just because something is currently the cultural norm doesn't really tell you much about an individual circumstance... take each person as they come to you.

And no... I don't live with my parents...
 RoseSoul
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 23
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/19/2006 12:34:28 AM
Actually I believe that in most parts of the world it is still common practice for children, parents, grandparents,etc to live under one roof. Part of this may be cultural or economic. In my country most people live with their parents or near them all their life. In my family for instance my parents could only afford their own place in the late 20s. Then we lived apart from my grandparents till my grandparents were too old to look after themselves. Instead of sending my grandparents off to a home for the aged,my folks decided to hire a caregiver to take care of my grandparents and invited them to stay with us. Most most people here may still live with their parents till marriage but of course they help pay the bills.It's common practice for families here

Renting a room or buying a flat of one's own is simply too expensive,unless a person is already married and both partners can afford a new place together. Prices are high here cos' land space is really limited.

Of course, for people who are high income earners, they can move out and have their own place, whether single or not.

My point, different folks,different strokes. Don't judge people based on your personal cultural standards.
 singlebookgeek
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 29
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/20/2006 1:39:44 AM
Actually I used to live on my own when I was younger about 18, then went travelling around North America. While I was out I realized how much I missed seeing my family.
When I got back, I moved out of my apartment and bought a newer larger house for the family. We now live in a 5000 square foot house, with 3 seperate floors and exit/entrances. It's nice, we get to see each other all the time and share meals when we can.
Does that consist of living at home? I think the negative connations of living at home really is a very North American concept. I also think the concept has to do with the thought of freeloading, nobody at our house lives for free.
I wouldn't have very much respect for somebody who wasn't contributing to his family group either.
Because there are 5 of us all working and all paying down the mortgage, we should have this house paid off in 7 yrs.
My one brother when he marries off will probably have his 1st house cosigned against this house, and because of that will owe the money to the "family" instead of the bank.
I don't envy families that aren't close, or tight knit enough. It makes me sad when people don't think of their families as part of who they are.
 freckle face
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 38
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:39:42 PM
totally agree with lonley in pittsburgh, and sensuelle...depends on your backround, most europeans insist on having kids there until there are married, they want them, and moms want to do all the work for their sons...it's just the way it is. now, only the real lazy ones let them do it all, but there are many of those...unless they really need the money, they would never take a penny from their kids...again - just the way it is...all the ones i know get along great with their folks, and enjoy being there until a serious relationship arises!

it's not a lack of maturity, or lack of anything...only those with non-european parents, who haven't grown up that way would think so. if i'm 19...barely scraping by, in some dump apartment, that makes me mature, or "grown up". their philosophy is if you're single, why pay a stranger, when your money can be saved...people that criticize others for this are simply ignorant...since when is getting along great with your family a bad thing? - those who think their are superior to people living at home as adults, simply because they "got outa there at 18" truly have a warped sense of reality!
 freckle face
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 39
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/20/2006 10:12:27 PM
that last post is truly sad - would'nt even consider dating a guy over 30 living at home...total joke...like euro_canadian said, these guys are some of the hardest working, most loyal, and trustworthy men you would ever meet. they would treat you like gold, and probably have a good job, great friends, plenty of money, and and upbringing more solid, and moralistic than you could ever imagime. too bad some people have to label others with completely innaccurate and stereotypical titles...his mom would'nt like her anyway, she is the ultimate CAKE!!!

for those who don't get it, you don't have to be "mooching", to be living with your folks, and believe it or not...you can be completely normal, but non-euro's can't possibly understand that, cuz they were brought up very different - and that's fine, but don't judge others that you know nothing about, and haven't even met...that's ignorant!
 DaisyGirlKY
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 50
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 6:27:17 AM
My brother lived at home for a while. He paid rent and did his own thing. Nothing wrong with that.

Now, my ex on the otherhand. After I moved out of the house we lived in, he never paid the mortgage and let it go into forclosure. Then he moved in with his dad and stepmom to live rent free. He goes out and parties and makes no effort to be a responsible adult. I have no respect for *him* living at home because he lives there free and still won't pay child support.
 Wild Heart
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 55
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 12:41:04 PM

Unless you are living with your parents under certain narrow reasons...recent divorce, parents sick and your taking care of them, etc there is no reason for an emotionally intellectually mature adult to still be living at the parents house. Especially not at 30 years of age.


I definetely agree. Financial is another reason. If it goes on too long, then there's a problem. I have lived on my own since I was 23. I have had roommates though. Can't ever ever imagine going back home. Ug. Not keen on dating men who live at home unless I get to know them well and know the reason. On a first impression I have to admit, it can be a drawback for me. I have dated one guy who lived at home, but he moved out not long after we met and had planned to do so anyway so no problem there.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 60
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2006 3:43:37 AM
I have always lived with my mom. AT 33, it's easy for many to judge. But I have made money enough to pay for the two bedroom apartment, even when it was 900 a month! Also the utilities and everything else. Basically, I had enough to outpay most of you and your roommate situations, so I already beat you on the financially responsible argument. My money goes to my mom, it goes to my aunt, it goes to friends who are in big trouble and can't pay their bills cause they "went on their own". I am still waiting to see how all you living on your own are doing so great. My mom has health problems, and after her divorce, has no one who is there for her. You could call me the reverse parent in the way. Most any guy who has dated me, once he sees the situation, wonders how I do it all and how "I" can be so responsible, and I notice many who are in these situations are really noble amazing people, who are much stronger than most of you judgmental folk that think hanging out with some loser roomates makes you so much better than the rest of us. Cause when I look back on my life I want to know I was helping ol' "steve and harry" out instead of my own flesh and blood. And yes, I do have an ethnic background, and in that background, if you turn your back on your family when they are in need, you are pretty much disowned from the family. So yeah, it's sad how America does it. Independance is all about making the right choices for what you deem is moral and good and right for your blood line. When I let strangers tell me how to act, then I know I am the loser.

M
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 61
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2006 3:44:49 AM
The "Steve and Harry" statment was sarcasm.lol
 LookingforLove66
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 73
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/1/2006 9:41:28 AM
Thats pretty sad that you would have to live at home over 30 means you never grew up or maybe your a momas boy not attractive.
 iliv4himalwayz
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 78
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/7/2006 5:38:55 AM
I share a home with my mom and my daughter (15 years old). We have shared a home for 4 years now. I do not "depend" on my mom to take care of me or my daughter. I live at home because mom is getting older and needs me. I pay half of the bills (no house payment cause house is paid off but when we rented a place in another state and rented out our house here I paid half the rent) plus all of my own bills ie visa student loans etc. I do all of the maintenance on the house if I can't fix it I find someone who can. I do 90% of the cooking and 50% of the cleaning.
Before this arrangement I lived on my own with my daughter after my divorce for 7 years, went to school for 3 of those years and worked my butt off at the same time. Now I have a little breathing room where I don't have to kill myself working and can concentrate on building a career out of my photography. I still work just not as hard as I used to because we both shoulder the finances.
It is very hard to make it on two incomes nowadays let alone one. I am a mature adult and readily take on the responsibilty of supporting an aging parent (my older brother takes none of this responsibility I have shouldered it all including two hip replacements and a knee surgery over the years I have been the one to step in and take over).
So call me immature, not willing to grow up whatever but I know who I am and I know that I am doing the right thing.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 81
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:56:17 PM
I have to ask a couple of logical questions

Whenever this issue is raised why does EVERYONE assume that the person living at home is MALE. When in fct there are more 30s females still living at home.

Dont deny it. Untill some male who is still living at home, comes onto the board and rips your self righteous gossip to shreads you always assume its male.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 82
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/10/2006 7:04:33 PM
I figure if I can make it on my own, why can't everyone else? How will they survive once Mommy and Daddy are gone? I am not into guys who can't take care of their self enough to live on their own. I sure am not gonna get serious with a guy who doesnt know how to pay the electric bill!!!
===================
Not yet taken.

I've got the lawn mown, the clothes on the line and the fresh picked (from the garden) vegs steamin away there for dinner so lets just see how good you really are.

Have you ever

- changed a tyre
- changed an engine
- Serviced a sewing machine
- Installed a hot water service.
- Built a carport (either assembled from a kit or built from the raw girders)
- Welded metal
- Mixed concrete
- Repaired fibreglass
- Mown a lawn
- Pruned trees

By gum I didn't know I was so useful. Yes I have done all of these things arudn the house.

Now think about it. Plenty of cheap shots are taken at guys who can't sew up a split in thier pants but these are taken by a few pathetic girls who are far more helpless than any guy ever was.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 83
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/10/2006 7:06:45 PM
Not so sure

You an my pal Dennis would get on great. He can barely see and is legally blind and his mum is legally crippled.

So he helps her in and out of the car and onto her walking frame and she drives him eveywhere. Nothing wrong with her eyes.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 84
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/10/2006 7:22:33 PM
Actually freckle
I'm Australian but I still DO understandthe European situation. I have plenty of Italian friends where three or even four generations live in the same household.

Shezza da big Italian house all right Jusepie but shezza full of people love an happiness.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 89
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/15/2006 8:01:53 PM
My concern is that so many "adults" on these boards are taking fiction such as movies like "failure to launch" or TV programs like "sex and the city" and kidding themselves that this is real life. It's scripted.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 91
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/25/2006 3:40:45 AM
"YES I DO KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A MOTOR AND TRANSMISSION IN A AUTOMOBILE! I also pump my own gas, mow the lawn, work a full time job, do dishes, cook, clean, do laundry, and wash my own car!

Glad to hear it Not so Sure

Have you had a look at the rest of the board.?? You are ONE girl who has done it. But so far, you are the only one. Thats just my point.


Gentlemen! Who among us has NEVER cooked dinner?? Not a snack. Dinner!
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 92
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/25/2006 3:45:15 AM
To answer your first (and only) question, they don't. Maybe some do, but not everyone. Did you read a fraction of the comments and assume they are all about men?


Luv Monkey.
The fraction I read was the first fraction. It was the only fraction I needed to read. I've read so many of these poasts so many times before.

It was about ONE solitary personal experience and one fictional movie. And the poster definitely assumed that the only 30 year olds living at home were men and also that they mooched off their parents rather than them caring for them

And, untill a few of the guys raised merry hell and told a few people the time of day that assumption persisted.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 93
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/25/2006 3:49:29 AM
my ex bf is 42 and is still living with his mom and so is his 35 year old sister.
One of the reasons why our relationship failed was because he was too much of a mama's boy to get out and be a man


Err Footballl mum.

Now I simply HAVE to know. Where do you live ie Parents, renting, mortgage, inherited place, paid off, what????
 Wild Heart
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 94
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/25/2006 4:26:20 AM

my ex bf is 42 and is still living with his mom and so is his 35 year old sister.
One of the reasons why our relationship failed was because he was too much of a mama's boy to get out and be a man


And these people are not from the movies. I agree there may be men and women who live at home who are NOT at all like this, the above is what most of us have been exposed to and therefore give all people who live with parents a bad name.

And I guess it is hard for some people to get past a stereotype - we are surrounded by them.....
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 97
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/26/2006 11:33:25 PM
mom does it all cooks cleans launders...tells him what to do makes his lunch...watches his own kids..i dont give a rats flying fart about my ex but with that new movie out FAILURE TO LAUNCH out now more and more ppl are shocked to hear about the so called ADULTECENTS still at home...

Id love to hear what you guys think about ppl over 30 still at home..
==================================================

I'll tell you what I think.

You said his mum watches his own kids. Exactly who's kids are we talking about.?? His and yours?? Or his and some previous ex gf's.

I'm asking you thins because the courts still only award custody to a father if he's so good that he's father of the year material. OR unles his ex is so worthless that the kids would be removed from her custody and placed in foster care if the father didn't want them either.

Worthless fathers NEVER get custody of thier kids.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 98
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/26/2006 11:38:17 PM
He is old enough to have his own house and alot more if he wanted...what is he waiting for?!


Sassy.

Counting counting counting.

I know but TWO single women who were paying off a mortgage in thier thirties. BOTH were in highly paid jobs and could easily afford the payments.

I know many more DIVORCED women in the same circumstances but these women took the house, in the divorce settlement , when most of it had been paid off.

If I include myself I know over TWO DOZEN single men in thier thirties who are paying off thier own homes.

Whats wrong with the women. What is SHE waiting for.
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 119
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/3/2006 5:49:50 PM
I am a divorced 49 year old mother of four(3 girls 18, 27 and 31 and 1 boy 22). All of them but the 18 year old are on their own. I love the last one dearly, but frankly will be glad when she moves out, then I can be free to do more.

What's up with all of these people in their early 30's who have parents that need so much help in basic living? My kids just wish they could keep up with me.

I might add that if and when I get to a point where I can not take care of myself, I have already told my childen I will not allow them to take care of me. They know I would want to be in a home. I refuse to be a burden to my children. Yes I took care of them when they grew up, but I was the one that brought them into the world. They owe me nothing. They will all most likely have a family and perhaps children of their own. Two of the four have a family now, and one has two children: age 5 and 9.

How can you ever hope to have a family of your own, if you are still at home with your parents?

 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 127
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/6/2006 11:11:46 PM
Leaving the nest is a necessary part of growing up. Those who don't are postponing an emotional growth stage. And emotionally retarded people are not well equipped to deal with things like relationships.
=================================
You raise an interesting point there monkey.

Most guys do spend from five to ten years between the nest and the marriage either batching or backpacking.

Circumstance and choice make both of these convenient as men often tend to fly the nest at a younger age and get married at an older age.

But, five years ago at least, most girls did leave the nest only on thier wedding day. Has in changed recently?
And the wedding is certanily NOT a magic gateway to adult life. Thats a learning process, not a magic gateway.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 128
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/6/2006 11:16:45 PM
New Begginnings
Why isn't your father doing all these things ( This is going to be a very interestng answer, no matter what it is! )
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