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Show ALL Forums  > Ontario  > WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???      Home login  
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 Kiaa
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 12
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
men wont take a first step becasue they are spinless and they doint know what a first step is anymore
 inamorata
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 16
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/25/2006 3:27:42 PM
The men I've met have taken the first step but on the other hand I'd not have an issue making the first move either.

There probably aren't that many men that include my age group in their search parameters?

What tends to strike me funny is that I've received more requests from the very much younger men that those in my age group. Goodness but some are even younger than my sons!

But, more than anything, I feel we need to take a serious look at our profiles and see what message we're sending out to the others.

All the best in your search,

Inamorata
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 24
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/25/2006 4:02:36 PM
And what website are you talking about there CLASSYPLUS ????
As all I hear on this website is guys complaining they do email women first and yes so do I .
And all we get back is read&deleted or just deleted!!LOL
And even women also won't post their pics up in thier profiles .
So how can you say men don't take the first step ??
As that just kinda makes it a DAM IF WE DO or Dam if we don't !! So don't blame us men. You ladies can actually contact us too you know or is that to much for men to ask women to do now a days !!

 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 26
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/25/2006 4:08:44 PM
Well Wbgrrl74 it is not us men nervous about being rejected at all.
It is the boredom of the read& no reply or the deleted not read that alot of us men are getting tired of on here.
How can we make first contact when all we get is the no reply or just deleted when we try ????
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 33
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/25/2006 8:51:36 PM
Well ladies ever since women wanted equal rights on everything men had I became one of those guys who wants a woman to make first contacts with me now. As that shows your interested !! And that also shows me your someone I respect more.Yes I know you ladies will say its kinda awkward for the lady to be making first contacts . But you women wanted equal rights so come on use them now okay!
Stop blushing or squirming in that chair laughing at what I write here and Just Do It !!
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 37
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/26/2006 4:45:48 PM
Well men do make the first contacts in most cases . Yes some women make a first contact .
Sure some guys wont bother and thats just cause their tired of the read deletes or the rudness of some women .
And yeah some fear the ol rejection too.
Well not me I don't care if I get rejected as theres always someone else down the ol pof pond that just might love an email from me so reject me if you wish but don't expect this fish to cry over it as I won't !!
 Stillalicious
Joined: 2/9/2005
Msg: 43
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/26/2006 6:24:26 PM
You could never disappoint kendo! you are way too much of a sweetheart ;)
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 46
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 4/26/2006 8:52:32 PM
Well any that are read and not deleted are probbly classed as something to read again when your bored emails !!
 Mollymitten
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 54
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/4/2007 3:49:00 PM

In order to pursue something I must want it bad, but at fifty I just don't care that much anymore.


I hear you on this one. In the last 12 months I decided not to sit back and wait for what I wanted, but rather to go after it. Yes I got some rejections, but that's all part of the fun (kind of). I also got some acceptances, which far exceeded my expectations.

I will not subscribe to the stereotype that men must persue women any more!
 Dsuperc
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 55
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/8/2007 12:48:34 PM
Chivalry died with the emancipation of women
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 57
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/8/2007 5:22:24 PM
Well I have gotten tired of emailing women and they don't even bother to reply back .
Yep seems us men have too meet some specal list of rules or the women won't reply back. Well thats cool as that shows me why they are also single and alone too!LMAO

And like I said before any woman who is complaining that guys do not take the first step is surely on some other website or her restrictions are so high no one can meet them.

Yes alot of men are tired of the mind games and trying to make that first step and then you ladies boot us in the face when we try !
As for me and probbly alot of other men we are not taking the first step anymore !
If you women want to contact us then please do so and stop complaining because we have heard all the reasons and know all the games and we are tired of the crap .
 Da69Devil
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 75
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:11:09 AM

If you find someone who interests you? Mail them. If they delete with no reply, you gain! lol...

i agree with you there .. i find that women email me as much as i email others .. hmm (thinks to self .. is that too much or too little) ...

all kidding aside .. there are days when i just flip through a thread and someone's post catches my eye .. then off to have a looksie @ their profile .. then email them ..

i get a lot of read (some deleted afterwards) and every now and then i get one that wasn't even read .. usually this makes me call out a name, make a mental note of the name (so i dont email them again) and carry-on ..

every now and then (like last month) i get the unread/deleted .. and i think grrrrrr at least you could have done is read what i wrote out of courtesy .. or made it look like that by simply opening it and then deleting it .. so i sent her my lil thought politely .. and boy did she get nasty .. and then nastier with each email .. was kinda fun tho

but i found that i'm emailing less now that i have had my share of no responses .. leaves you with two options .. either you cut down on your emailing .. or you would have to consider copy and pasting the same message .. to save you time from having to be original only to be unread and deleted..

i respond to ALL my emails in case you were wondering .. can always be friends even if the 'connection' isn't there from both sides
 Danteslnferno
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 81
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:13:52 AM
Oh man,

A woman complaining that men don't take the first step? Yer joking right? Maybe men aren't emailing YOU and making the first move, but from my own experience and in talking with guys and girls on here, most men do take the first step and contact a woman. We get deleted, red deleted, unread deleted so many times it makes us wonder if the people we are emailing are actually REAL ...

So either start changing your profile to make it more appealing to those you are trying to attract, or start emailing guys you are interested in first. They may find it to be a breath of fresh air that a woman took the initiative. Otherwise, stop crying about it. If you continue to do the same things over and over again, you are bound to repeat the same results, over and over again.
 Danteslnferno
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 94
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:51:22 AM
Way to go Habsy. I guess there is a lesson to be learned. If you don't try you will never know right? So for any women who are sitting waiting for that guy they like to make the first move, why wait? It's a new millenium. Doesn't mean you have to jump a guys bones but you can send him an email to say hi. Nothing wrong with that, then let him make the move to ask you out.

Something to remember about this medium. Unlike face to face encounters when meeting new people, this medium does not allow for the ability to send subtle signals to a guy that you are interested. You can't flick your hair, or look at a guy and smile then look away, or straighten your posture as the cute guy you spot walks by ... so send him an online subtle hint by saying a simple 'hello, how are you? I saw your profile and just wanted to let you know I thought some of what you wrote was pretty cool.'
 Sparklin
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 99
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:29:54 PM
I'm very outspoken (I know it's shocking to most lol) and if I read something ~ good or bad ~ on a profile or in the threads - I'll email the guy. I've made tons of friends that way ~ not necessarily interested in a love connection, but was interested in something he had to say, his personality or some comment he made. I always reply to my emails, regardless of who they are from ~
 MacGregrrrr
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 100
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:35:47 PM
Yikes! Heck must be freezing over ...
I'm actually in agreement with aalhazzred ... (be afraid ... be very afraid ...)

The men in your age bracket are tired of rejection. ...

To which I'll add: ... and tired of being abused/used/hurt.
Thus, it's unsurprising that some additional coaxing out of the shell may be required. $0.02
 t-gurl
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 110
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:18:10 AM

WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???


Cause that would involve getting up off the couch and actually walking?
(sitting in my lazyboy as I wrote that )

Seriously, some men DO take the first step, just like some women do. The men that don't, do it (or not do it ) for the same reasons as many women: shy; fear of rejection; etc.
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 116
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/31/2007 8:14:34 AM
Well like I said before . Whats wrong with women making the first step ?

As sure us guys are tired of trying to take the first step and when we do . All we get is a no response . And that does tend to get boring after a while .
So I don't bother much trying to take a first step anymore . I figure if a woman finds me interesting enough she can make the first step. Heck most I do now is browse the odd profile if someone seems to be close to what I am seeking and thats about it. Nope not likely I'll make a first step any more through email. As most won't read it any ways or they read /delete . So I just wait and see if any woman wants to contact me first .
As I figure why bother sending and email if no one is gonna respond to it .
And nope probbly not any one will contact me but that really does not bother me in the least.
Its just a way to try to find someone but not the only way.
 Frankieeee
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 126
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:46:42 PM
Every time a man takes a first step, women expect them to take the next 3.
 Frankieeee
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 129
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:46:10 AM
TABBS: Which is exactly why i'm single =) People at my age have the IQ of a brick. Sucks for mee
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 143
We do and we don't!
Posted: 2/7/2007 5:31:40 PM
okay, i thought this thread was about why men don't take the first step?

anyway, my thought as to why "some" men don't take the first step can be for several reasons.....

shyness - some men are unable to communicate with women in the emails as well as they can in the posts. they tend to clam up a bit.

rejection - or fear of rejection - some men are unable to cope with being rejected or the fear of being rejected by a woman.

masculinity - some men feel as if they shouldn't have to approach a woman because they feel as if it's just not cool.

they are just some of my thoughts anyway. some women are even afraid to make the first contact with men as well.

now, the only thing that i can say about anyone being afraid to make the first contact, loosen up. if you don't take the initiative to make the first contact you might be passing up what would have been a possible match. just take a deep breath and start writing, it's not going to hurt. if nothing becomes of it or you don't hear back from the person you contacted, don't worry, go to the next person that sparks an interest.
 intheswim
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 146
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We do and we don't!
Posted: 2/8/2007 2:07:20 PM
Amen to that! Bobsledder you said it all and said it well! Here's to you!
 Prinz_Kaross
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 151
We do and we don't!
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:34:05 PM
The ultimate secret is that it is the woman who makes the decision. Now the really smart woman knows how to let the man pretend he is in charge. "Ït's not cool!"a guy at a party tells me when he ignores the winks of a pretty lady. I think it's rude. Once we're mature enough, why pretend when we know it's the woman who has the last world. Let the games begin, and I hope she picks the right guy.
 Cartershill
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 152
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 5/14/2007 9:15:33 AM
Men take the first step a lot...just pay attention to the level of compaints from women in various topics about the harrasment they get about men constantly asking for sex. Read the constant nice guy threads who complain about the women who don't respond.

The trouble is they are all going after the same pretty faces who get hundreds of e-mails and of which, far too many are using stock photos of models! The women are responding to the same pretty faces who get hundreds of e-mails and of which, far too many are using stock photos of models!

My take, go to some parties, meet some actual people, have some actual good times and you never know, nature may take its course. Worst case scenario is you might make some friends. And at POF events....no stock photos of models, just real people!

Happy !
 michael feir
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 155
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 5/22/2007 8:33:43 AM
I guess the simplest answer is that it doesn't seem like it ever leads anywhere. that's at least the most common thing I've read or heard from men whose hope has been eroded either by rejection or simply by no women taking an interest in them. It's definitely an ego-reducing process. Likely good for us but nonetheless painful.

I believe I've taken far more of a "first step" than most people likely to the point of compromising my safety. I know that many people are uncomfortable with the thought of becoming involved with somebody who's disabled in any overt way. In an attempt to overcome that, I've written an extensive blog, given my phone number to anybody I've thought I might have a ghost of a chance with, uploaded what I can only ultimately assume is a picture which puts me in a good light, and done everything I an think of to approach this with as much openness and honesty as humanly possible. Women interested in me definitely have the advantage an can find out enough to in all likelyhood become disinterested without ever having to face telling me that. I'll keep on searching and even emailing women whose profiles interest me but as more time passes and I don't get any response, my searches will become less frequent. I'm working on a guide for novice blind computer owners who have no idea what the Internet offers them. That's where I'm putting my work efforts. I'd like to get it done by the first week of July if at all possible as there seems to be quite an ergent need for it. If I found someone special here who would go out places with me and be interested in knowing me, that would be time very well spent and I'd approach my self-imposed work with new vigour. Searching for new prospects can be interesting but begins to feel more like extra work the longer I've been at it. I have enough of that already. That's my case. Add to that all the other options fully able men have when looking for female company and it's unsurprising that some women won't run into men more willing to put themselves out.
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