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Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 7
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do men without kids date woman who have them?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Has it ever occured to any of you that the reason a man will not date a woman with kids has NOTHING to with the fact she has kids?

No offense but if you use your children as an excuse you shouldn't be dating.
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 10
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 5/1/2006 12:38:25 PM
As an excuse for why no one wants to date you.

Using the children as the reason to question why someone won't date you or why the relationship never worked out. It ultimately comes down to questioning, "why, why, why" take for example the title of this thread "do men without kids date women who have them?"

Sure if a woman has a child or children it does impact on the decision of the male as to whether he will want to pursue anything intimate with that woman, but why does it have to be the only reason?

I would think that anyone wanting to date a single parent or not will want to date the adult for who they are. Children and all... as single parents we shouldn't have to psychoanalyze every potential mate as to the how's and why's things come to be and most of all NOT use our children as part of the reasoning behind any said decisions others make.

It is possible that the ADULTS (the single person and the single parent) have personalities or quirks that just don't jive. It isn't always about you being a parent and or having kids.
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 11
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 5/3/2006 10:18:48 AM
sometime the man scared you dont want more kids when he may desire of his own. i have dated woman with kids in the past
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 12
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 5/3/2006 11:08:40 AM
Well.......I have been single for a very long time...and I have a 15 year old daughter at home....being my age ...that tends to be quite a surprise for most men...

I have found..that while most tend to tell you does not matter....the fact remains ...that it does.....I am not free to come and go as I please...I have responsibiites..that are my first priority..... this point.......yes......I discriminate against men who do not have children...I dont want to get into the discussion as to why I wont let them stay all night.....or that this saturday I cannot go out..because I promised the girls I would be the taxi service...yes we Moms do take turns at that.....or that it is a week night...and time is precious..and I want to be home with my daughter ...and eat dinner with her....see how her day went....

Having said that.........I know all you men out there are not like this......but....I have met enough.....that now.......I just avoid the situation......

All you grandpas out there...........I love that.....
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 13
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 5/5/2006 11:35:16 AM
Try letting guys know you are not looking for a "baby daddy". That you are looking for someone for "you". And loosen up your criteria should help too. Good luck to ya!!
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 23
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:32:34 AM
I'm 44 and don't have kids. Most women have kids and/or grandkids. If a man doesn't want to be with a woman with kids, I recommend that he date only post-menopausal women. Personally, I enjoy kids. I understand that they are #1 in the woman's life, no problem there.

One thing that pisses me off is when a woman lets her kids run her life and treat her like dog shit.

Before you all start bashing me, let me explain.

I was dating a woman (I've known her as a friend for over 20 years) with 2 daughters. We went to a grocery store and took her 11 year old along. Carrying out the groceries, she opens the car door to set the bags in and the little brat runs around her and sits down. The woman just turns around and goes to the other side. We go to rent movies. We pick out 2 to watch that night....the girls want to see something else, 'r-rated'. The woman puts the 2 movies down and gets the r-rated ones for the 11 and 14 year old kids. If we went to my house for the night, she had to be home before the kids woke up, or they'd chew her out. Her mother (who lived with them) would call if it was getting close to the time they usually got up. They were constantly interrupting her in conversations. Finally, we were talking one day, and her daughter interrupted. I ingnored her comments. She started whining and crying. I told her to shut up, said she was just a spoiled brat and I'd had enough. The mother, my friend looked at me really hateful and told me to not talk to her daughter that way. I said, no problem, I don't have anything more to say.....except, have a nice life, I can't take it any more. Also, I told her that if we were both still single in 7 years, I'd look her up.

I think (hope) this is an extreme case. I have never had any problems dealing with kids before or since. Back to the topic......yup, i'd date a woman with kids.
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 24
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I'm ready
Posted: 5/15/2006 10:05:01 PM
Either someone didn't read and comprehend my last posting, or ther's something REALLY wrong.
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 25
I'm ready
Posted: 5/15/2006 10:47:53 PM
I met a woman when I was only 22 whom had a daughter... I was with her for over 8 years and have adopted her daughter as my own... and been a father figure for her ever since... She began calling me daddy within 6 months of meeting her... Wasn't really my choice to be a dad at the time... It just happened... It was more her choice really to adopt me as her father... I fell in lover with both her and her mother and I have been honored with her presence in my life. Perhaps even more so then with that of her mothers unfortunately... We were together for over 8 years and went on to have a second child together, whom I am also blessed by. We (the mom and I) had just recently split up. Now I am a father of two, facing the same situation as the author of this topic only on the opposite end of the rainbow.

Thing is, I am not sure now, that I would ever want to date a woman with childeren again... Now that I have my own... The heart break involved in seperation is far greater when there are small hearts involved... and I just don't know if I am willing to risk that ever happening again. I also don't know if I could be truely capable of being a father of 3 or 4 (or what ever grand total there would end up being...) childeren and still feel comfortable with the amount of love I could provide for all of the little hearts involved...

Yet I am finding that women with no childeren are seemingly not real interested in the single dad scene... I wrong?
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 28
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I'm ready
Posted: 5/16/2006 4:55:04 AM
I didn't post to argue. I guess everybody has their own reasons for being single. Obviously, WE won't be dating each other.
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 30
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 5/16/2006 9:02:41 PM
Well, for those of you who enjoy reading our bits of wit in these threads - the girls I wrote about are now 20 and 23.......and all 3 of the women have (long since) apologized to me for their conduct.

My point was simply that not everyone is cut out to be a parent.......quite often those with children fall into this catagory.

Some of the men and women that won't date anyone with kids have had experiences similar to mine.

Finally, if a woman doesn't have enough gumption to take charge of her own family, she doesn't have enough for me, either.
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 32
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 6/19/2006 5:49:51 PM
yes my ex had a daughter and i have no kids it depends on the women not if she has kids or not
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 37
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 6/22/2006 10:40:56 PM
i love kids,but im too young to have any of my own,so i wouldnt mind at all dating a chic with kids...hell it might even be a plus
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 38
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 6/23/2006 10:11:07 AM
Some do, some don't :) I have a son, so I haven't really met any that won't lol My last serious relationship was with a man that had no children of his own, and didn't really want any of his own. But he was a fantastic role model for my son, loved him like his own, and when we were engaged, was planning on adopting my son. It is possible to find them, just takes a bit of searching.
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 40
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/21/2011 9:08:20 PM
I think it is possible. However, had a very strange experience just tonight... a fellow a little older than myself with no kids, emailing back & forth wanting to chat on the phone .... but when I mentioned I was hanging out with my son...asked me how old was he, and if he lived with me....when I told him, he said that a mom with kids dosent have time for him....apparently not in his mind! ugh! his loss! Apparently didnt read my profile....or couldnt, and just liked the pictures! Can be very challenging at times. Thinking there are just a few too many lonely nutcases out at this time of year....been a very strange few days....gonna hibernate for the next week! And just enjoy my kids!!!
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 41
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/21/2011 10:56:00 PM
I have dated someone with s kid and i would do it again, i just think more then one is too much for me to take on. and there is just so much that goes into that kind of thing.
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 42
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/25/2011 3:39:02 AM
I do. Most women have them where I live.
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 43
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:47:24 PM
May be read the replies from the ladies on dating a single father they seem to think it is a burden so they are not interested. Also i think maybe a lot of the profiles might scare guys off when they clearly state that the children are numer one sort of makes a guy feel like he will always be unimportant (just saying) and no i am not a single dad
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 44
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/29/2011 1:09:16 PM
Any one who thinks anything is more important or more of a priority than a parents child is delusional

Anyone who is jealous of a child's love and attention from a parent should be institutionalized

The love between 2 lovers is not even in the same ballpark as the love between a parent and child so why do people get all butt hurt over it?
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 45
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/29/2011 3:43:42 PM
^^ couldn't agree more :)
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 46
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/30/2011 7:06:12 PM
I am a 38 single mom of 4. and it has come to be my experince that then ones who do get involved with moms with kids are kids themselfs. that or they are in need of that mommy figure to take care of them. I see some men who get involved with a single mom and it is great! I wish i would find one that is not afraid to be with a woman with kids. we are not all out to find a babydaddy.
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 47
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:03:19 AM
I've done it in the past, I'm open to it but it boils down to the scenario. I try not to judge but I see some 25 year olds on here with 3 kids and single. I tend to gravitate more towards a 30 year old woman with one kid. It all comes down to life choices, and 9/10 out of 10 that 25 year olds kids weren't planned. Again, I try not to judge but its usually not worth it in the long run.
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 48
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 7:57:19 PM
yes that would be me guilty as charge. I am currently dating a woman that has a 3 year old girl. I do honestly have to say I didn't imagine I could like dating a woman with a kid, but I was open to the possibility and glad I made the choice. However, the truth is we live within miles of each other and I love kids along with I have an lot of experience with children, I have 5 nephews and nieces. So that made it easier, but still it is very tough type of relationship.

And I could understand why a lot of men in my position would shy away from dating a girl with a kid and she shared her experiences with me about other men she dated who didn't have kids. And tended to be an issue that they would plan to go out, her daughter gets sick or something comes up, she cancels. They get mad. Eventually it ends. And the same has happened to us, we had to cancel many dates. And her daughter's dad pretty much never sees his daughter so she is basically a full time mom. This is a lot for any guy to handle and I think it is hard to find someone that has that much patience and on top of that is secure enough to deal with it. Because when you cancel enough times, the guy will start to think you aren't interested...even if you are.
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 49
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:10:10 PM
But on the encouraging side, I am learning something very valuable that a lot of men in my position don't think about. I think they don't want to be with a woman that has a kid because they get put on a "backseat." It doesn't become all about them. The first night I spoke to the girl I am dating she said her last boyfriend didn't work out because "he didn't like to not be put first."

Wait a minute now, most men eventually want to have a family right? So aren't they eventually going to be put on a "backseat"? Eventually it won't be all about them. What happens then? They are married and feel neglected and perhaps it ends in divorce...obviously something not wanted.

So perhaps it is better to get with a woman where you aren't put first and if you like her enough where you still okay with that, that means there is better long-term potential in the relationship. You already tested the waters before making the commitment in some way.

So maybe you won't find a lot of guys that want to be put in this situation and it doesn't work out as a result. Maybe that is good because you know right away rather then being married, starting a family, and finding out then they don't like taking a backseat.
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 50
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:33:28 PM
lar.....nice to see you do sell yourself short...

I think another we have a choice who we choose to date....or who we choose to be....or who and what we choose to do with out life.....

But from your little seems you place yourself on some pedestal.....where you are soooo giving or accommodating as opposed to those who do not show the same understanding ....

But then in your own state

Psychologists have shown people tend to drastically overrate themselves. Therefore, I rather share some things about myself that will allow you to make your own conclusions,

I have no problems with the premise of freedom of choice....and unlike some I see no reason to blow ones ego up just because they suggest they are more accommodating....because they can go out with a single parent...

I think a far healthier view is the simple button that says....NEXT....but then it does lack that sense of white knight....who overlooks the children as an obstacle?
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 51
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:02:29 PM
When a woman has children.....those children will of course be a number one priority in the woman's life......when I have tried to date a woman with was pretty much impossible.....unless I wanted to say right up front that I want to act like a daddy and we can just always do family oriented type things and when the kids have personal issues or the father causes issues that there is no problem because hey...we are just acting like a big ol family anyway.......see what I mean?
If a man wants to actually just date the lady......go to adult oriented activities and is just very tough to do......I've learned my lessons and I don't try to do it....I don't have anything against a single mom......but my experience she will have much better luck with another man who also has they can just do mommy and daddy and kids type things.....
Needless to say....(mind you I don't have kids)......I don't do much dating...which doesn't bother me at all......(I am specifically talking about women with younger children...which for some reason I am finding more and more women closer to me in age that still have younger ones...).....
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