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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income      Home login  
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 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 2
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high incomePage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Got nothing to do with money

NEVER EVER have anythign to do with an abusive guy.............did I mention EVER ???
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 3
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/1/2006 8:59:41 PM
If only that was the thing that kept women with abusers. Sadly these guys get their hol don a woman and it has nothing to do with money. Seems that once women are "broken" by the abuser they stay with them and has nothing to do with money. I have seen guys that are penniless treat their girlfriends like crap. Its really sick, its like the women have been brainwashed or are under a spell. Women are often made to feel like it is their fault and that the guy doesnt mean to be an abuser they just push him too far. Its really scarry when you hear a friend tell you that. Its meant to be one of those things that happens to people far way and not in your life. Warning to all women, if a guy ever raises his hand to you then get out and NEVER return. If he does it once he will do it again and again and again until either he leaves you or he kills you. Yeah that sounds extreme but it happens far too often and it has nothing to do with social status or education.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 6
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:00:19 AM
The question about ANYBODY who stays in an abusive relationship has perplexed for centuries.
And it's now been joined by two others.

In the face of a lifetimes research by womens shelter manager Erin Pizzey it's now been found that women who flee abusive relationships walk over hot coals to get back into them.

And that even if they do break up they end up in a second or third abusive relationship.


It's nothing at all to do with money.
 SuperBeautifulMonster
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 7
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/20/2006 4:20:26 AM
take the guy with high income cuz atleast he'll be able to pay for your therapy and hospital bills. all men are abusive in some shape or form because thier human don't expect them to be perfect.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 8
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/20/2006 5:57:40 AM
HUM let me think ......ah perhaps a nice guy low income!
Come on - I wouldn't even want to know the woman that goes for the abuse and the $!!!
 14st NYC
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 9
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:45:40 PM
watermelon1 well said poor guys gets no a*** $. period the bad boy rain supreme
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 10
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:56:05 PM
Speaking as a guy who gets out a bit,,,,,,,,,, the income or money has never mattered......the person has.
So the only non foolish answer would be sweet and low........and thats not the coffee sweetener.
But there are plenty of well established sweet guys too.
The character of the person is the fixer.
 Huggablehottie
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 11
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:59:42 PM
No one wants to be in an abusive relationship,
some women stay for various reasons, though.
As for me, I would only want to be with the
guy who treats me well. Having a lot of money
does not make one nicer or better to be with.
 matisse808
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 12
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 4:25:56 PM
I have noticed that guys w/o a lot of money actually tend to be nicer. I don't know if it is because different bankbooks reflect different value systems (ie; some of the highest paying jobs a re morally repugnant) or because guys with money can get away with being abusive- there will always be someone needy enough to put up with it. Maybe it is a little of both. But don't ask me "which one" I would go with. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
 wilder11
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 13
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:00:56 PM
Thanks, I feel and am told I am a nice guy but like you, I was concerned over the definitions put forth. I fit more into the so called "real man" category. I would hate to see his defintion of a "not nice guy".
 scotishthistle1967
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 14
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/10/2006 1:51:03 PM
I have not read any of the other posts yet...
but here is my two cents worth....
woman stay in abusive relationships because of fear...not because of money(well..maybe some do).I should know..but he didnt have money. I was afraid of leaving..what he would do if i left...what would happen with the kids?.....afraid of the unknown out there in the world.
Now if you give me the choice ,I would definiately pick the Sweet,poor guy.It would definatly be great for any womans self esteem.
 scotishthistle1967
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 15
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/10/2006 1:58:13 PM
well now..........jarbarian...you are so wrong...lol.....lol....lol...........
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 17
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/13/2006 4:14:51 AM
In my life, I've discovered that there is a significantly high number of women who just stay with someone, even if they treat her like shit, just to be with someone????????????????????/

No! I've actually never known anyone like that.

Mostly because those girls can find somebody else. Always.
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 18
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:29:30 PM
I'd LOVE a sweet and sexy broke a$$ b@stard any day over a gravy-pissing pr1ck. (Incidentally...the gravy-pissers are even cheaper than the broke-a$$ **stards, ladies). Now, if that broke-a$$ **stard happened to come upon a change of fortune, I'd hope he'd have found me to be benevolent enough to share it!! Love, Titus
 bodah
Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 19
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 2/9/2008 9:33:36 AM
Seriously, how is this even a question? Only an idiot would go out with the latter choice, and she would get what she deserved.
 vladtepes97
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 20
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:03:08 PM

I will take a nice, respectful, loving man, with a low income, before I would tolerate an ***hole who had money!

I have a single parent friend who says she's unable to hold steady, physically demanding work because of a health condition. She's trying to get a degree, but, with no steady income and a child to raise, it's hard, especially since she says her ex was ordered to leave the usa. she says that they take food stamps away if you get financial aid for school, and it's not enough to pay bills anyway. she said she was getting married next year, but the guy is pretty mean. she says he keeps threatening to throw her out and cut her off if they argue. he checks her phone, which he pays for, and she's afraid that just talking to me online will get her into trouble if he's checking key strokes. she has not been to visit us in months. i told her to get out, but she feels she has no options left if she wants to provide for her son. i think she may be blowing the situation with financial aid out of proportion, but i don't really know. i told her to go to the family crisis centre. she said "what r they gonna do really? tell me to go to a shelter."

is it really that tough for women to find solace and help? what do i do for my friend?
 jf468
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 21
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:05:30 PM
I would date neither man. A man doesn't need to be rich, but he should make enough money to support himself. I obviously wouldn't date a man with who is abusive.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 22
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:30:32 PM
low income any day!! you can change the money thing over time, with jobs, etc, but the abusive behavior is both unacceptable and unchangeable.
 NoahCoast2Coast
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 23
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:02:17 AM
based on the number of girls that think a real man is a guy with a job, I think most women would prefer a guy with a job even if he's more white trash, than a nice guy with values and a soul who happens to be underemployed. I think women are flaky sometimes, choosing the hunky guy, or the guy with a job & his own pad, or 'the car' even if he's not as cultured, or adventurous, creative, or even a little bit of a cheater or racist. Nice guys are often overlooked because they haven't sold out. I'll have a job next year, but this year I'm in school and travelling, I'm still making savings, I just think it's sad how some women have written : if you don't have a job, don't contact me, I think it's demonstrative of how amoralistic, and decultured society has become.
 Angel_73
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 24
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:31:55 AM
I would take the sweet guy over the other any time. As long as he makes enough money that hes not with me hoping i can support him or pay for everything lol Even if that means he works at McDonalds
 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 25
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:31:57 PM
So I'm guessing your low income but want women to like you because you're nice?

and income has no correlation on whether a person is nice or not, more often then not extremely low income individuals come from broken families and lack values that lead to abusive relationships.
 sugardol
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 26
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:36:28 PM
Sweet guy, low income, any day of the week! I've had enough of abusive guys, physical OR emotional. Homey ain't playin' none of that. I'll treat him like a king, but ONLY if he treats me like the queen I am. A guy who is abusive has low self-esteem himself, thinking he has to lord it over somebody to feel like a 'man'. I've always said, if anybody has to walk over someone to make their self feel big, they're mighty small. We are to compliment each other's lives, not rule over them. Puleeze!
 loverboyt66
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 27
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:41:39 PM
The women proberly stay with, the guy because 1 she loves him, or too she thinks it not worth leaving him , as their are children, and the living style will be a lot lower as far as cash at hand.P.S. just some of the reasons.
 zephyrmoon
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 28
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:47:38 PM

Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income

What a stupid, dumbass question.

Gawd, thank you, I thought I was the only one.

No one is going to deliberately choose to be in an abusive relationship. Everyone THINKS they're getting the wonderful, charming guy when things start out.

It's once people are hooked that the abuse begins.

So yeah. Stupid question. If you want more women to choose you, presuming you're the adorable, sweet but lower-income guy in this equation, why not go back to school and get a degree? You can even do it online at night these days while breaking your back as a day laborer -- sorry, I mean a "SWEETACOLOGIST", a job with no health insurance benefits or future.

Then you can be the sweet, adorable and decent-income guy.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 29
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:08:03 PM
NEVER anyone abusive, I don't care what he makes. What people make changes throughout time, but people especially abusers don't change.
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