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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend is Boring...      Home login  
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 2
Boyfriend is Boring...Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Define "recently"???

If it's been only a few weeks and you care for this guy at all you might want to give it a bit more time before you also stressing out about this. My guess is he's under some sort of pressure that you're not fully aware of and it's affecting him more than you know. That's one possible explanation.

Don't think it's automatically a bad thing if he's not pouring his guts out to you about every little thing all the time. Men in general like to try and work things out on their own first and he's probably doing just that. Just like women complain abput the seat being left up men have pecularities of our own---give him that bit of space for now.

If you start giving him grief about this it won't help his whole mental ability in trying to think through whatever is bothering him. He'll be torn between resolving the work problem AND trying to keep you happy. While both of those are probably very important to him you being supportative and NOT pushing him just now will be greatly appreciated.

You can maybe gently try to talk with him about what's on his mind but concentrate on HIS feelings and how or if there's anything you can do to help. If he has your support and knows that he'll be much better able to deal with a lot of the "outside world" crap.

Him only going when the room mates asks isn't ignoring you----like most men I'd guess he hopes or thinks you'll understand and just go along for now. That might not make a lot of sense or seem logical but in a relationship things don't always work to a plan.

Be gentle as long as you can---but communicate your concern, willingness and desire to help IF you can. Let him come to you---it'll be easier for him maybe!

Good luck---I think this is managable and not a big concern just yet! Hang in there!!
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/2/2006 4:49:24 PM
he is in a rut.

drag his ass out, and make him stop sulking.
somethings dragged him down and he's letting life beat him down.
probably burnt out from work, and needs a break or something.

either way, it's time to lite a fire under his ass, thats all.
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 4
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/2/2006 4:57:03 PM
Robyn, I say find a guy that's lots of fun... In the sac too. You're too young to be held down girl!!!!
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 5
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/2/2006 5:57:52 PM
Well you've spent several years with him. It's up to you, do you want to save the relationship or just go have fun? His change is work related, have you talked to him about it? Is this a new job, new promotion, is this work schedule a permanent thing or temporary? He has to decide whether he is working to live or living to work. You have to decide if your desire for fun is important enough to you to sacrifice the relationship for it and leave him. That's your choice, and not an easy one. Some people define their life by their work and profession. Still, those that work hard need to have a full life totally outside of work, if their work consumes them they can plan on spending their life alone. Only you and he know why the sudden onset of tremendous work hours (I've done it myself, but never when I was involved) so you both have decisions to make.
I wish you both the best.
DO be fair to him and yourself, make a decision and stay or leave. Don't try to straddle, and have your fun and keep him, too. I thnk you get my drift.
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 7
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/2/2006 7:17:40 PM
Many have said this, but really there is something to be said for having fun and being in a relationship. And yes, relationships are not destined to be "boring"...that's not it. Honestly, relationships are only as boring as the two people involved in them. Commitment to someone isn't or doesn't have to be the old ball and chain unless that's what you expect it to be. Relationships have the potential to be the most exciting thing anyone's ever experienced. If both people who are involved, make that a priority. If you're so in love, and so wrapped up in that person, how can it not be exciting? Maybe it's just me, and maybe I'm the freak. But it does take two. I knew how to make the few relationships I've been in exciting, keep it going, but if only one person is stoking the coals, well it just doesn't work.
Any relationship I've been involved with that I ended, it wasn't because of boredom. I get way too bored, before I could ever get involved, it's been something else. Not cheating, jealousy, usually control/obsession/abuse. Not me, the other party. Once I'd experienced it, I recognized it again and ended it. I don't need/want to be controlled, I want to be loved.
 carrie bradshaw
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 8
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/2/2006 8:55:44 PM
I say you should spank each other until it hurts....
~Carrie B.
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 9
view profile
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:27:50 PM

need some excitement and fun and I want to get out of the apartment and do something besides work

Sound like he needs sometime to adjust to his new work or like someone says he's growing into a responsable man, in any case COMUNICATION is what needs to be use as I see it to find out a solution that suit your (both) needs.

You said that:

I have been dating this guy for a few years and we are really compatible.

If this is truth, it doesn't seem to be a major issue.
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 10
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/3/2006 12:24:32 AM
he may think your boring as well...........
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 11
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/3/2006 12:28:31 AM
sounds like he's needing some down time from work...don't harp on it too much, or you'll lose him. trust me on this one. don't become a nag about it...but then again, he needs to keep his woman's a fine balancing act. one i never managed to get right! lmao...
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 12
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:11:47 AM
thinking about cheating on mine, he is boring in sex.
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 13
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 5/3/2006 8:31:32 PM
This is only for a few weeks, right? Then might not be permanent [ if it were a year I would say you got trouble] Have you spoken to him about this?

Do know of anything that he is really interested in [ some kind of sporting event, activity or a band??? ] find tickets and buy them for something he likes and that might be a good kickstarter to get him out the door again
Try to talk and be reasonable about it and ask him if he has noticed this and is there a reason why.

That being said, working 55 hours is more than usual but sounds like he has his weekends free or some time off. Is the work he is doing mentally draining? that can also tire someone out rather than just the physical stuff Maybe try to be more understanding? Everyone goes through periods in there life when the social life has to take a step back for work. He could just be tired, maybe he is trying to save money ! you need to talk to him

If that fails, dont you have some girlfriends you can go out with once a week instead and give him a break if he wants it?
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 7/18/2006 2:24:56 AM
Maybe you’re as boring as he is and thus you are perfect for each other?

I have worked lots of over time and two jobs before and such, it can be pretty frigging draining that much is for sure.

Maybe tell him the extra money doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have a life to enjoy it. That is the realization that did it for me.

he is depressed.

And is it his job to amuse you?

Take control of your situation.... Join a dating site

ahhh the bus never fails to give me a chuckle.

I guess in being here you kind of are sort of looking (perhaps unsuccessfully) for someone more interesting?
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 15
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 7/18/2006 7:58:01 AM
I really don't have any advice for you as I really don't see where you have a problem. I could understand it, if he didn't want to spend time with you, but it sounds like he does.

I know that I am a lot older than you are, but even when I was your age, I liked staying home more than going out. I find going out very boring. Staying home and cuddling with a man you care about is a lot more fun to me!!!

So where do I find one that is happy most of the time to stay home and watch tv?
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 16
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 7/18/2006 8:11:23 AM
I'm gonna sound a little mean here, which is NOT usually my way...
This guy is working 55 hrs a week! OMG! Break up with him immediately! Go find an unemployed man who has all the time in the world to go out and have fun, then please come back and "pitch a b*tch" about how YOU have to foot the bill for the fun.
OK that's a LOT mean...sorry kid but you need to get a grip here. I don't mean totally join him in vegging out, but cut him a little slack for gawd sake. Go do stuff with other friends if you are that bored, or reach some kind of compromise with him, but if you are gonna push the guy so hard that stress and fatigue start affecting his work performance,or his health, you could wind up with way more serious issues than boredom...
Cindy O
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 17
Boyfriend is Boring...
Posted: 7/18/2006 8:41:44 AM
I'd suggest joining a dating site.
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