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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Male Rules...      Home login  
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 1
Male Rules...Page 1 of 1    
(I have posted the female rules elsewhere for those who are interested)

Male Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules: Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be....

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want.

1. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

1. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine....Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex, Sport, or Cars

1. You have enough clothes

1. You have too many shoes

1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 2
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:04:02 PM
Yeah, I worked it out too. But to be fair, I also posted the Female Rules in "What Makes Women tic?"

Glad you enjoyed
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 3
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:25:16 PM
*yawn* How unoriginal, I've had this forwarded to me years ago, it's all over the internet. Better to write something that is truly your own thoughts, that's what the forums are supposed to be. Not just copy/paste.
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 4
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:30:32 PM

Three quarters of these forums are unoriginal...I was merely sharing with others. It is your choice to not read it or criticise.
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 5
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:36:25 PM
that was funny.... I love this stuff...
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 6
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:37:40 PM
Read the posting rules, it's supposed to be a disussion topic, IE yours, not some joke from the internet. If it's supposed to be funny, it should be in humor.
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 7
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:45:16 PM

You can always complain, that is your right. To post what I like, that is MY right. I see no other complaints... But thanks for pointing that out to me.
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 8
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:49:29 PM
billbug I'm sure you posted it with good intentions. And I'm just pointing out that original posts and thoughts from people's experience are usually more interesting reading. If you feel that's a complaint, you're entitled to your opinion.
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:51:28 PM
i've seen a lot of these before, some are actually quite good. i nearly choked reading the "fat" one!
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 10
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 4:53:13 PM
Yes, I'm sure you are right. But it is not someone else's posting I am making humour of. If people like it then I am happy that I could share something, even if it wasn't my work. If someone complains that I posted something funny, then I will apologise to that person for their not having a sense of humour. Thank you.
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 11
Male Rules...
Posted: 5/3/2006 5:05:31 PM

Male Rules...

Works for me..

Runs off to BBQ
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