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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why do men use me??      Home login  
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 lynney
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 2
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Why do men use me??Page 1 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

you let him do it..


to an extent, this is true. it doesn't mean he has the right to do it though! confront him, see what he says. is this the first time it has happened to you?
 wvgin
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 5
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 6:12:21 PM
OMG! I completely understand where you are coming from. I just kicked out one of these same type of men. I was with him faithfully for 3 1/2 yrs and every time I got to the point I was ready to end it, he would show the sweet, wonderful, caring side of him so that I would doubt my own feelings. I too helped him build not one, but 2 businesses, got him and his son cell phones on my plan...completely supported him for 6 months and on and on it goes...sex was only when he felt like it and only for him...I never was satisfied. I finally started waking up, tolk him he had to move, packed all his stuff and set it on the back porch while he was at his newest victim's house reeling her in. I am still kicking myself for letting him do this to me, but not only that my children as well.

Why do men do this to women?
 catman40
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 10
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:57:07 PM
IF , A woman would do all that for me AND have wild sex . I would be hers . That has not happen to me . must not be those woman in wisconsin .
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 11
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:03:38 PM
A good relationship is give and take. It seems like you are generous to a fault. When you find somebody who will reciprocate that, it will turn into the best quality you have. I once made the mistake of giving everything I had to somebody who didn't value it and I got burned badly for it.
 justjazz
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 16
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:58:18 PM

A MAN WILL DO WHATEVER YOU LET US GET AWAY WITH.
that is the biggest load of crap I have heard yet! If you actually wrote that and think that then please get help! A man that can truly call himself a MAN does NOT use anyone for self gain!
 cougar99
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 22
short answer
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:50:58 AM

said that he knows the black people r using the condoms, cuz he saw them washing it and hanging it on the clothes line and then reusing it.


So he actually watched them reusing it, I mean reusing them..
 outdoregrl
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 27
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:31:02 AM
u r thinking with your heart and not your head. dumped that jerk now!!!! get someone who respects u and doesn't reject u. there r plenty of great guys with class out there trust me, i know. i wouldn't doubt it if he dumps u after he has gotten himself stable. i have seen that happen to women before that i know. I would definetely find a guy that is willing to work together and help one another out during the good and the bad. like i said, they r out there. i would join a walking,jogging or blading group etc.. to meet a nice single guy. anyway,good luck
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 30
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:42:11 AM
there are some people out there just looking for a meal ticket. you do something nice for them. instead of them feeling grateful, wanting to recipricate or at least get up and stand on their own. they are waiting for your next good deed for you to pass to them. (this loathsome creature is not depicted by gender) if i could have one type of person eliminated from the planet it would be them. i am more than willing to help someone down on their luck. but after so many excused about how their own SELF-CREATED hell they call life. i realize this person does not want to try to better themself, -they think they are owed something from everyone who has sweated to grasp the will to survive.
you need to take a look at your life. and see where your kind and charitable contributions to this persons, turned into slavery. -kick his ass out, and move on. dont stop being nice to people in need. but know when to say when.
 tcky123
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 31
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:42:58 AM
mmmm lets see??? this guy has a molly maid\sex maid\free apt\no rent\sew\cook\clean blow job wowow the guy has it made, for crying out loud lady dont you think you are old enough to know a loser, it your fault, hey why pay rent and hire a maid when you got the milk for free, big pimpin style.
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 32
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 12:12:53 PM
Its good to see you are going to boot him out. I look forward to the next post of yours telling us how it went. Just be strong. He will probably try some sob story or try buying you off with a dinner. dont worry about cleaning the place. Just pack up his stuff. Tell him to go and make sure you get the house keys back. I would even suggest changing the locks just incase he made a copy. just before he gets home put his crap outside the door with a note saying get the hell out of your life. Dont bother staying in touch with this loser. Dont listen to him asking for another chance or telling you that he will change. He wont. He is too far gone. Your life and your time are worth far more than and you shouldnt waste a second listening to him. Get him out! Good luck!
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 42
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/10/2006 1:52:50 AM
A woman would do all that for me AND have wild sex . I would be hers . That has not happen to me . must not be those woman in wisconsin .
=============================

I got some bad news for you catman. No woman would do this for you.

Because you would appreciate a woman like this and treat her very well indeed.

And, despite the predictable denials coming up on the next few posts, most women regard the man, who treats them well, as a wimp.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 48
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/13/2006 6:04:22 AM
does he have to spell it out for you ??He is getting a free ride so why shouldn`t he take advantage of it,you are letting him do it.
 ralphpmiller
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 51
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/13/2006 1:16:52 PM
But ur here too, on a dating site....why cant he be in one
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 54
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/13/2006 1:45:41 PM
red flags were all over this guy, I'm glad you got rid of him, if he tries to come back , remember the fact that he wouldn't even take you out anywhere and realize that in itself speaks volumes about this guys character.
you can be kind and generous and still see the best in people - just make sure you are also getting what you want/need out of a relationship.
love yourself first , so cliche but so very true.
 CriminalJusticeQT
Joined: 1/5/2005
Msg: 60
Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/13/2006 11:43:40 PM

you let him do it..


That is the exact phrase that popped out of my mouth when I read the subject heading.

As for getting used, no he doesn't have the right to do it, but once you figure out that he IS doing it, it is YOUR fault if it continues. Sorry if that is too harsh (to you or anyone else) but it's also the truth.

Now that you know you are being used, end it if you don't wish it to continue. At the very least kick him out and stop being his mealticket and everything else. If he won't reciprocate what you've done for HIM, then he is so not worth your time, effort, or tears.
 buckheadlooker
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 62
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:52:05 PM
Men show love through action. Men show love by "doing for" a woman. Toss this guy and find a man that does things for YOU!!!
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 66
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:34:43 PM
We allow the crap to go on because WE DO love them,we make excuses ignore the signs and avoid the writting on the wall!!I think because we cant beleive someone can do that to another person!!!I did the same exact thing in all my relationships I was married a long time and nurtured the kids and my husband 24-7 like most mothers do soo when I found myself in the dating world it just continued if I do this and this ...like I ONLY know how to do ..I will get what I need .....NOT....Its not anything you did please hear that he just wanted a soft place to fall....Those kinds of guys are men they are parasites...I ahte when I trun into everyones MOM lol I do hear u tho just with ever lesson we learn be aware and way more careful next time,if u arent getting anything out of it and your needs are not being met its just one sided and thats not what ur about you deserve a real Man ....Aaaaaaaaaaaamen amen aaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen!!!!
 PICKLESandPASTRAMI
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 67
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:39:27 PM
The simple answer to the Thread Title question 'Why do men use me?' is because 'you let them'. It may sound harsh but it is true.

In your case, if he never took you out after one or two 'dates' (you should reconsider what a date means to you), then he shouldn't have been someone you 'saw' for 5 months! If you saw him on dating sites, that should have been the end of it right there. You also shouldn't care why he or anyone hurts you but rather you should consider how you handle situations like this. Pick yourself up and get the parasite out of your life immediately.

Again, people use people because they are allowed to be users.
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 68
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:54:14 PM
Nobody can use you unless you allow it.

I would have kicked him to the curb when he first starting such disrespect.

To answer your question about why would someone want to use and hurt you.....it's because not all people in this world are good. You seem to have scraped the bottom of the barrel with this guy.
 karmafuktra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 70
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:07:09 PM
Boo Hoo Hoo Hoo, Here's some advice, kick his ass to the curb and wake up. You obviously don't mean much to him other than a financial crutch and probably some head! i may sound mean and like an ***hole but someone has to be blunt with you. Get rid of him and get yourself a good man...yes some still do exist. Now I will send you my bill later in the mail for this session. Good day and good luck!
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:58:55 PM
I agree w/ the general consensus to get rid of him ~ we really do teach ppl how to treat us, and he has no real reason to change his behaviour ~ unless you do.

in his defense, getting a new business off the ground can be tiring, and he may not even be aware how much he is slighting you. by asking him to leave, he may realize that a change is needed. regardless, he has to want to do it, or you'll just fall into the trap of this occurring again and again.

be strong, and good luck.
 BKLYNBOY1
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 77
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 3:44:02 PM
duh get real honey gopd gave you 2 feet one to balance on and one to give him a swift kick in the a^%
 Tarika
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 78
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:06:27 PM
Because you obviously allow him to use you. If you feel used, you alone are responsible for your feelings. Do something about it if you don't like it.

Good luck
 Chrysostom
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 80
Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:34:50 PM
Because you're so useful!
 Enchantment !
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 84
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:15:32 PM
Obviously, you know that there is a major problem with your whole situation. So, you really don't need us to give you advise for you have answered your own question. The way your partner is treating is hurting you....so, if you can't fix it than its time to move on and let this fish go.He seems to ONLY want/ TAKE and give you nothing ...relationships are give and take on both sides.
Believe me girl, there are many sweet fish out here just waiting for a woman like you. DOn't settle for anything less than someone that will provide respect and honestly. Men and women desire it......but watch it there are so selfish people out there.
Good luck with everything ! Get rid of him :)
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