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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?      Home login  
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 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 2
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?Page 1 of 43    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I highly doubt any man will admit to not wanting to "try and sleep with you until someone else better comes along."

Look at it this way... MOST people approach relationships very cautiously and as a casual thing. If in time it turns to something serious then it would have been long term and perhaps they will have thought about marriage. If not... don't sweat it.

Why jump directly to the 1 year mark when it's more fun taking the time to get there?
 Intercooler
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 3
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/10/2006 11:47:14 AM
I would like to be married again someday. But really what's most important is finding and being with that one woman who is worthy of such thoughts. Whether we actually got married or not is incidental.
 tcky123
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 6
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/10/2006 1:47:29 PM
I think men knows in their little mind who they want to marry and looking for the closetest one in mind.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 8
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/10/2006 8:01:02 PM
Leaf Chick

The men who say they are looking for long term relatinships are not kidding. They are .

More accurrately they are NOT looking for a seven year marriage to some shallow chick who dumps them and takes them to the cleaners and leave them destitiute.

Chicks might think that seven years is long term Men do not.

Leaf Chick. Before you post any more to here check out the DIDs Dads in Distress web site in Australia. Browse it throughology. Get soem ida of the damage that divorce does to men and then you will be surprised that any man at all over 35 are still looking.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 23
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/10/2006 9:02:01 PM
Looks like I exposed leaf chick to more hard reality than she could handle when I wipped the curtain from in front of her eyes.


Leaf chick

The eight men your girlfriends dated did want sex

- and soulmates
- and love
- and care
- and commitment

But there's some sort of selective filter in the female brain that filters all of these other things out.

If a man wants sex then the female brain detects that the ONLY thing he wants is sex.


Leaf Chick. Have you checked out the Dads in Distress site yet. I'm serious. I dont want to go lugging the stuff over there into a dating site but it's important that you know where you are really coming from.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 28
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/10/2006 11:00:05 PM
I am 39 also and hoping to be married before I am 45. I think that's a reasonable time line considering taking the time to get to know the person I will marry. At the same time I am not worried about the biological clock because I am more than willing to adopt a child. There's nothing worse than rushing to get married and finding the wrong man in the process. I'd rather give it time and marry someone who is right for me, and I'm right for him.
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 32
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:03:25 AM
I hear you leafchick in regards to the whole "I want a relationship but I'm afraid of the commitment" bit.. or at least in the end that's what it's deduced to. I sometimes wonder if it has to do with the man chickening out, or believing there is someone better out there. Who knows. We should never let past experiences cloud our judgement. Always grow from the positive and learn from the negative.

I have often questioned why it is that men at this age and older want the friend with benefits at this point in their lives. I mean did I miss something? It's like what I was doing in my late teens/early 20's men are doing now.

I'm sure there are plenty of men who are honestly sincere and do mean they are looking for a long term relationship. Ya just have to get through all the bottom feeders and carp first.

You are a beautiful woman. I don't think you will be alone forever.
 terry44030
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 33
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:16:14 AM
I am seriously looking for a long term relationship. As for a definition of 'long term' let's look to my parents generation. "Till death do us part" Parents 48 years (Dad died last year), uncle 59 years, uncle 41 years (he married at 46), aunt 45 years (he died in '94), uncle married since 1958.
 sly848484
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 49
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 6:32:04 PM
im 39 and some day i hope to meet the right person and get married again. i would love to find some one and fall in love. my dream is to find someone who will love me as much as i love them..i hope someday to find that special person to grow old with and spend the rest of my life with . if you fall in love with sombody and they fall in love with you . grab them up becouse true love is very hard to find ..
 sly848484
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 57
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:27:23 PM
i was in a bad marrage and i wont let it efect how i feel about getting married again ...you cant let on bad apple spoil the bunch ...i do believe one day i will meet a very nice person.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 60
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:33:02 PM
Say Irish.
Do you have a good photo of your grandfaher just before he died.?

Next time some girl goes on about the "seeking long term" cliche pop the photo up and tell her that this is what you wil look like in fifty years.
And see how fast the long term enthusiasm fades.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 61
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:39:11 PM
So are you now saying that in order to possess those qualities... you have to be a gay male?

================================

In fact there are no more gay men, who possess these qualities, than straight men. The assumption is that if a guy is a good groomer then he's gay and if not he's straight. The only exceptions are a few politicians and a few snappy dressing sporting stars such as Smokin Joe Frazier. Nobody actually checks that the sloppy dressing gay isn't actually straight.


I've chatted to a few gay boards about this and they say that the real reason that the fag hags chase them is nothing to do with their dressing habits. It's because they are unavailable and these girls only what what they cant have.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 62
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:41:41 PM
A few questions gentlemem.

- Have any of you had a girl in bed on the first date?

- If you have, then have any of you turned her down the next day, when she's come back looking for some more.

- Or turned down the idea of long term if it's stayed as good as the first night.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 63
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:46:03 PM
Well thank you for taking the time to post that. I was getting upset because some people (and I believe also they are divorced etc..) just felt the need to blast me for having the nerve to post. I do realize that there are men out there wanting the long term relationship .. I was only wanting to know if they were existing on POF.
======================================

Leaf Chick

Any guy, over 30, who has been through the absoloute hell of divorce, will BLASSSTTTTT any girl, who says she is looking for marriage, unless she displays both awarness and sensitivity to what the guy has been through.

Words like "stung" or "onece bittne twice shy" are not awarness. They are totally inadequate. Guys recover from stings or bites within days. They don't recover from divorces for decades.
 guardianknight
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 73
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:52:16 PM
I'm not like all men, to me long term means a relationship leading to marriage, to build and raise a loving family. Simple isn't it??
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 74
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/28/2006 9:52:50 PM
Leaf chick
I've checked a few profiles myself and most of them are something more like

Looking for friendship, possible long term.

I've also looked through any number of female profiles and they have blocks on anybody who is only looking for e mail, or hang out,

So leaf chick
What I am seeing is an avalanche of women who are desperate for marriage and still kiddding themselves that its some automatic soloution to all of lifes problems.
And the brains of these women ONLY notice the words "long term" in male profiles and tune out the rest.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 76
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 5:07:27 PM
Are you off your rocker. I have no idea what the hell your talking about. I have only ever dated men that have been divorced with kids and I must admit that none of them have been as hatefull as you. I really don't care about dad's in distress to be frank!
===========================================
Leaf chick

I've little doubt that you have NEVER heard a man talk like me. The fact is that the stuff I'm putting in here is quite mild. When groups of divorced men get together, ALONE, and the talk swings to divorce damaged and damaged men then that talk is a thousand times more hateful than anything that I've posted.

Leafchick This is important.
I'm not talking about hate, and I'm not a misoginist. I'm talking about just how seriously mens emotions are REALLY damaged during the average divorce.

Why don't they talk about it?

Because millions of women like leafchick fly off the handle and start abusing them if they do.

One in thirteen divorced men suicides. About one in five atempts it. ALL suffer massive damage during divorce.

The real miracale is that any of them EVER get back into dating at all. Many do not.

And any girl who is unaware of this hasn't got a hope of finding a bf, long term, after 35.
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 7:22:08 PM
There are plenty of guys over 35 looking to get married. I am one of them. Unforunately we ones that are are often the ones that are overlooked by women that are specifically looking for marriage.
The funny thing is that they:
-We often dissmissed because we have not gone through the "starter marriage" yet, and are treated like something is wrong with them.
-We are the ones that don't need to become a womans make-over project.
-We are the ones that were concidered ncie in the past and were overlooked then and now. The ones that would make great fathers are deemed to be not ambitious enough.
-Just becasue we work in technology and the skilled trades women dissmiss us as "nerds", "Homer Simpson", "......That guy that works in a factory.....", and "Just another grease monkey".
-We may not sweep a woman off thier feet right away, yet women never give us a chance becasue a spark has to be felt right away.
-When we say we are interested in a long term relationship, we are not lying, and that scares some women.
-We are happy and content with themselves. Women are convinced that something is wrong with them.
I have experienced all the above. Any one else like to add?
 Selkirk
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 80
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Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 8:20:53 PM
Yes, we are out here!

Unfortunately for me, by the time I was ready... I was this old! LOL

It took me several years of dating to find out what I wanted in a person to share my life with... and I'm still looking! Don't they call that "picky"?

It also took me several years to find out who "I" was, and get to a place in life that I could be a good partner/husband/father.

I also think it's especially difficult if you are over 35 and want to start a family... not many women are thrilled with the idea when they're over 35, and if they're in prime baby-making yrs... there's a generational gap that's hard to overlook.

I have hope though, and it's one of the reasons I'm here looking!

Best of luck to everyone in their search!
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 82
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 10:58:27 PM
The funny thing is that they:
-We often dissmissed because we have not gone through the "starter marriage" yet, and are treated like something is wrong with them.
=========================================
Paticularly by the females on these very boards. Have you had a look at the crap that is relularly posted about "mommys boys" who are 35 and still living with the parents.
=========================================
-We are the ones that were concidered ncie in the past and were overlooked then and now. The ones that would make great fathers are deemed to be not ambitious enough.
=========================================
Not quite. There are a few, genuinely battered wives, who have finally matured enough to realise that a "nice" guy is what they want. not what they say they want. What they actually do want
=====================================
-We may not sweep a woman off thier feet right away, yet women never give us a chance becasue a spark has to be felt right away.
===================================
Any sporting star or rock star will trigger a "spark" in a womans lions. Thats not what long term or committment is about.
===================================
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 84
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 4:53:42 AM
Any women UNDER 35 capable of burning a wedding dress.????
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 85
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 4:59:46 AM
Do we have to be genuinely battered?? How about just genuine?
====================================
You have to be genuinely battered Mermaid.

If you were genuine a guy or ten, with half a brain, would have snapped you up and proposed to you by the time you were 20. And you would have had the brains to recognise a good man when you saw one and would have accepted.

The genuinely battered wives were shallow, brainless, bimbos, when they got married. They excused the bashing with "but he loves me" or better still "at least hes a real man" Bruises and scars have knocked some sense into the girls over time and they end up seeking nice guys and NOT real men.

I'm talking their definisitons of real men here, not mine.

My definition of a real man is somebody who rides his Harley home from his vasectomy.
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:38:03 AM
Looks like an interesting subdiscussion on the subject has been added. After attending several singles events with some friends, we got the impression that every woman we met between 30 and 40 at the event was so picky and judgemental that no man would ever be good enough for her. What wsa advertised as a nice relaxing way to meet new people, turned out to be a long drawn out affair with the women dissmissing most of the guys as "Not up to par" (I overheard this at the bar), and the guys we met saying why bother.
We could have gone to a bar for the same experience for much less. We will not attend those events anymore.
I would like to explain this pickyness explained. I fear that those picky, judgemental women will be alone for a very long time.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 101
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/22/2006 6:30:52 PM
Ten years ago, I probably was more open to the idea of marriage, but I spent the time working on my career instead.

I can honestly say that anyone I know born in my generation, all of the guys who were married are now either divorced and financially destroyed or stuck in a loveless bitter marriage. Now I'm sure there are happily married people in the world, but I think they are the exception rather than the rule.

I realize that time is on my side here. As I get older, as long as I stay healthy and have my finances in order and no baggage, I can still get married. Yes some things will be more complicated with age, but its not so glaring in general for men. However I don't believe time is on the side of women at my age. Many I see in my day to day interactions already have kids, divorces and emotional wreckage from previous relationships.

Do men age better than women? I think thats kind of a generalization there. Some people just age better than others. But do I think that men tend to age better in the eyes of society and in the realm of dating compared to women? I think I can safely say yes, they do, as long as they have health and money.
 bobbill
Joined: 9/13/2005
Msg: 118
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 8/11/2006 7:05:28 AM

"long term" relationships really means "try and sleep with you until


You sure they are 25? And they haven't had a relation with a woman yet? Serious emotional problem here. Might still be looking for mommy, or chance to cut the string.
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