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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Unconditional love??      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ltoons
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 27
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Unconditional love?? Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Unconditional Love,,,,, Is the trueist kind of love,, with the right person,,, lol. hense the rub,,lol.... the right person,,,,when found,, is great,,,,,,the trueist kind, trust,,,,knowing that person will be there, love , today, it's hard to find, if not down right imposible ,years ago, i think you found it more, people were different , worked things out, today we don't, poof gone see yaa,lmao,,,,, right or wrong, thats it, i think anyway,,,,,,,,lol.....
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 29
Unconditional love??
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:42:50 AM
I simply means that you truly love someone and that you will always love them regardless of what they do. It does not mean putting up with anything. Just because you love someone does not mean you can live with them. Being related to someone does not mean you will love them in the first place.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 42
Unconditional love??
Posted: 5/26/2006 7:18:07 AM
OP, unconditional love means loving someone, regardless of their faults and imperfections, and accepting them for who they are without trying to change them. one doesn't love a person for what they can do for them, but simply for who they are. Most (good) parents have that for their children, and some partners have it for each other. One doesn't always have to like what the people they love do, not even if it's their kids, but that doesn't mean they don't still love them unconditionally.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 45
Unconditional love??
Posted: 5/26/2006 7:34:30 AM
athletic, if your post was directed to mine, please don't attempt to tell me what I believe. Accepting someone for who they are and loving them, doesn't also mean you have to stay with them. In the scenario you mentioned, while someone may change into being abusive (thought most abusers are that way for a very long time and don't suddenly change) one may still love them but realize they can't stay with them. A very long time ago, when I was younger, the first man I ever loved turned out to be mentally abusive and a manipulator, only I was too naive then to realize what he was doing. Once I realized it, I got out...and while, afterwards, I understood why he was the way he was, I also knew I didn't want to live my life that way. I still care about him, and yes ,have love for him; I accept him for who he is - because other than the manipulation and mental abuse (which he learned from his parents and hasn't grown up enough to lose himself), he's a good person, so I wish him well, and hope has a good life...just not with me. It's like finding out someone you love is an alcoholic or drug abuser; you may still love them, you may be able to accept that they're this way, but you also don't have to stick around and place yourself in a situation that isn't good for you.
 Pragmatic
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 47
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Unconditional love??
Posted: 5/26/2006 12:22:49 PM
All Love should be unconditional!

If its a situation where love/caring/attention etc comes with conditions or a price..its probably not love!

Of course , ther are different kinds of love.. that of family is prehaps more an one of "love-of-understanding"
while Love of a partner/lover.. is chosen and free-flowing from the heart. If it comes with a bargained condition.... you might want to step back a nd reflect a bit.

I now have a totally different mental image when I hear chirps from crickets........
and I so love t olay in bed half asleep, with the window open...... lsitening to the frogs and crickets.... now I'll be wondering "who's Lunch"


P
 RockDotChic
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 48
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Unconditional love??
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:24:58 PM
I think Unconditional loves pertains to loving someone for WHO they are....not wanting to change them, but accepting the person they are (this does not include obviously BAD behavior, that intentionally hurts someone else...which is unacceptable)
The serenity prayer is a good example of unconditional love.
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 68
Unconditional love??
Posted: 5/28/2006 7:11:17 PM
After thinking about this, if it isn't unconditional love it isn't love at all.
 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 73
Unconditional love??
Posted: 6/1/2006 12:44:46 AM
pamelarae It's been an interesting thread for sure.

...people who have had many difficulties with others in life and are currently in a bad situation have a hard time accepting the idea of unconditional Love.

Gotta say that I don't find that correlation very solid AT ALL. I think instead that the people who most challenged the idea of UC were the ones who took the phrase literally, as I do, to mean that you love no matter what. Everyone who challenged that concept cited examples or at least provided fairly narrow descriptions to illustrate that very point.
 Say Hi to David
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 75
Unconditional love??
Posted: 6/1/2006 12:58:39 AM
I'm saying that it's a matter of interpretation: literal vs. figurative. The literal crowd insists that there are inherently exceptions and far too many to actually be exceptional but instead be the rule. The figurative campers just say "UC is totally possible."

There is nothing in what I wrote about qualifying one's ability to love unconditionally. But since you asked, I would say that being in the figurative interpretation camp to begin with implies a degree of romanticism so perhaps they are more likely to love themselves that way too.
 rembrandtic
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 80
Unconditional love??
Posted: 7/27/2006 12:29:50 PM
unconditional love


Webster's says the word {[“unconditional” is an adjective, a proposal contained or depending on nothing(noun: something that does not exist)] “love” the feeling that animates a person who is genuinely found of someone or something]} which leads us to the oxymorical statement, grin, such with that duality thing addressed. most of the men i know are so afraid of unconditional love aka devotion, they fear what they do not understand. never taking the time to face fears. they just keep living in fear of what love is with out knowing what it is they do not KNOW. if anyone faces their fear they gain knowledge.

knowledge is the only tool to defeat fear. if you do not know, have the knowledge, human nature is to fear the unknown. six billion people with maybe 13% who can face their fears. those would be male and female who are metacognizant, of those i am unsure of how many would would not attempt an explanation of unconditional love. explaining the idea of unconditional love gives the idea perimeters where none should exist.


change is the only constant we all have to face or deal with. i believe in many ways we have the same issues make many of the same blunders, courage is something else which gives us that ability to love hard and deep, courage after a hard fall to regroup and still see there are many beautiful things yet to learn. being old fashion in this modern world is very much a good thing. having courage as a goal is a wonderful quest. if the quest was easy ...
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 93
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Unconditional love??
Posted: 1/14/2013 3:55:13 PM
Uncontional love goes both ways. It is the highest form of love. I think uncondtional love is possible, but it takes alot of time and effort.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 96
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Unconditional love??
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:06:55 AM
I've loved many times but I did not REALISE that I had only ever loved conditionally UNTIL I met a man who I fell in unconditional love with. I was then in my 40s and it hit me hard. The man did not love me back, but I had a relationship with him.

I agree with everyone who says that unconditional love is unhealthy. I have experienced this first hand. It did not matter what he did to me, I could not stop loving him. I tried very hard to change my feelings, I had therapy, I wept all over my girl friends. I tried to hate him, focussed on all his faults, I even stopped seeing him (that nearly killed me at first). When he hurt me I'd just sob and sob, but no matter how much it hurt me, I never, ever wanted to stop seeing him.

You really do not want to fall in unconditional love with a man! It's like an illness.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 99
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Unconditional love??
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:30:06 PM
Not in my books. (relationship wise). OR unless they are complete innocents, (kids for example).
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 103
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/5/2013 7:34:16 AM
LOL, people in the forums don't seem to know what unconditional love. It is not what everyone thinks it is. People are like, I will love him/her no matter what, until I get hurt because of what they do or don't do. That's not unconditional love. What is wrong with you people? Love is not defenseless, love is not weak. Love is strong and can be TOUGH, even bad ass. Love is multidimensional, it is not the BS that people are all gushing about here. Unconditional love is being all in and fighting until you win, until you have a healthy mutually loving partnership. Conditional love sees outs and takes them, never allowing the relationship to ever truly hit its stride. Seems nobody here understands what love is. Grow up people or you will never get there.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 105
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/5/2013 7:43:51 AM
Unconditional love can exist. But honestly, too many of us are way too shallow for it.

We don't care about WHO the other person is anymore, we only care about WHAT they are.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 108
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/5/2013 10:54:18 AM
WiseGuy514:
Re:
" In this day and age there is no such thing as unconditional love, in the context of two humans. A dog or cat will love you no matter what you look like, how much money you make, what size your chest is, etc. Humans will not: end of story."

Try telling that to a widow/widower of a cancer victim. Ask them if they still loved their spouse when the cancer made them unable to work, they lost their hair ,and their body wasted away. Ask them if it was unconditional love, when they begged God to end their spouses' unbearable pain quickly, even though that would mean absolute finallity for them....
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 109
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:13:38 PM
PamelarRea- Unconditional love is what it says-love without condition.
It is being able to accept the person as is. You don't try to change who they are, you don't make them responsible for your happiness, you embrace them flaws and all and love them unconditionally.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 110
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:35:57 PM
Unconditional love has to be a two way street for it to work. It's probably why a lot of relationships fail. One person is willing to give love unconditional, but the other isn't willing or able to. I agree with bamgrl68-you have to love the person as they are. How can you give unconditional love if you aren't completely satisfied with the person as they are?
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 115
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/5/2013 8:51:13 PM
everybody kind of related unconditional love to either given to a kid or got from a dog. Now imagin you have a lover and you dont expect her or him to go work or cook or do any kinda of work and you will take care of him or her no matter what . I am sure if you did that you will receive unconditional love !!
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 118
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/12/2015 8:28:06 AM
I've been thinking about unconditional love for a very long time. I used to think it meant, as so many others on this thread, something akin to "I'll suffer through whatever abusive behavior you dish out because I'll love you no matter what." But I couldn't reconcile something so obsessive and self-negating, and what 'felt' emotionally damaged, with something I imagined should feel peaceful and good. So I knew there had to be something I was missing in that definition.

Where I've come to, and this is still evolving, is to separate what I think of as the "like" from the "love" in the above definition. My “like” for someone is based on their behavior and whether it fits within my personal boundaries for our relationship. That means I don’t put up with behavior I find inappropriate. I don’t like abusive so I choose my behavior in reaction – verbal: I can use words, or physical: I can leave, or emotional: I can dislike the behavior.

What was missing was within my definition of love. When I was young I remember my mom would say to me “I love you but I don’t like you right now.” Intellectually I could comprehend that but I didn’t actually understand it until a kind of personal ‘perfect storm’ occurred. Within a very short time I first read this Rumi quote "Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.", my son was in highschool going through a rebellious phase, and a relationship was breaking down with a man I dearly loved. I may not be able to articulate it well but my understanding of what love is changed. Rather than a feeling or a behavior, I believe love is a state of being and that state of being is best described as “authentic.”

The Rumi quote tells me that we are each, at our authentic core, “love.” I go about my daily life trying to be authentic more often and to be less reactionary. And I have tried to accept my loved ones’ attempts to be themselves and to not project my expectations onto them. I do not always like my son’s choices but I recognize the ‘god’ in him which is not conditioned on him going to college, or choosing the career, or mate, or friends that I envisioned for him.

The same with my ex – if I say I “love” him, what does that really mean? I’ve come to believe that means I want the best for him and the ‘best’ is to be who he is, not what I (or society, or his parents, or ‘tribe’) want him to be. If he needs to leave to ‘find those barriers within himself’, then unconditional love means that is what I want him to do, it doesn’t mean I have to like it, nor wait around for him to return. So I also learned the lie in this proverb “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” I love something/someone by acknowledging it always has been, is now, and always will be free. If it comes back, it still is not ‘mine’. And our “love” (recognition of the ‘god’ within us) is independent of physical proximity, so it still ‘is’ even if he never comes back.

Which is all a long-winded way to say I’m learning about unconditional love from my close relationships. Next step is extrapolating that into the larger world around me. But that’s a post for another day. Like I said, my thoughts on this are still evolving, maybe Igor will be along shortly to illuminate another facet to think about.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 121
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/12/2015 9:28:13 AM
I see unconditional love all of the time. It's the people who are madly in love with their cell phones.
They're always talking to it or fingering it.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 122
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/12/2015 9:30:02 AM
More like unconditional horniness.

Usually it's only a blood thing
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 124
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/12/2015 9:26:57 PM
Unconditional? That means you will destroy yourself on that relationship, you will compromise everything you are for it. Unconditional love is most easily observed within the family - the type of love a father/mother has for son/daughter. But even a bond like that has its limits, unconditional - nothing is unconditional, everything is subject to condition.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 125
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/12/2015 9:44:26 PM
to me the concept is that you love another person without an agenda, expectation of return, are not possessive or dependent. You do not have to like them necessarily, all the time. Even walk away if they are abusive and demeaning to you. But still the feelings remain.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 126
Unconditional love??
Posted: 2/12/2015 10:07:42 PM
Yes, I believe in unconditional love as I truly had that when my husband died. I saw unconditional love with my parents marriage until my mother died 3 days after their 63 anniversary. It grows when nurtured and protected, it's fluid, a spiritual sense within (not to be confused with religious).

IMO, those that divorce early in a marriage or have had multiple divorces/ relationship breakups never managed to archive any sort of unconditional love nor fully understand or even believe it, hence the comments about children or pets.
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