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Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 1
The IQ in relationshipsPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I heard about some dude that gives these seminars..the deal is...that people should be with someone of the same IQ...10 to 20 points up or down. Now how do I know this about a guy? Some are very obviously dealing with an IQ of about 70.....

OK so NOW I know what the problem is. Ladies and gentlemen....that's why we are single...apparently we are not meeting someone with the same IQ. Give or take 10 to 20 points.

It makes some sense but how the heck do I find out someone's IQ?
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 2
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:08:10 PM
Here is a novel idea. Ask. Although most people haven't taken a bona fide IQ test so this may be a little more difficult than you might anticipate.
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 3
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:13:14 PM
Oh crap! Here come all people claiming a genius IQ. Thanks

Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4
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The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:26:51 PM
Another curious theory, but is there anything to substantiate it?

Okay, so assume it is correct. I believe it is very simple to determine if someone is intellectually compatible - just have some conversations with them about suitable topics, and consider their reasoning processes and use of information. Vocabulary, grammar, and critical thinking skills all come into play to some extent. It isn't rocket science, and you don't need to ask their IQ - it will be obvious.
 Heart Bandit
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 5
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:27:35 PM
Don't take IQ tests too seriously. Mine was tested and....well it's below mensa level but close. But I can still be a ditz. lol. And there are others with high IQ's who can't even find their way across the street. lol. And another thing. The psychological community still debate the merits of IQ tests. Something else to consider is that contrary to what a lot of people believe not all those with high IQ's are book smart. You can have someone who only has street smarts and has an IQ the same as the stereotypical high IQ bookworm.
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 6
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:30:25 PM
well that was my point...why would anyone need a seminar to find this out? I don't have my IQ dangling from my neck like a little charm..nor do others...and I was taking a bit of the mick...'coz it's an unusual idea....and the people who pay this guy to go to this seminar...well they must have the lower IQ???

But thanks for the replies.
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 7
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:07:02 PM
Msg 1, does one's iq go up or down, with alcohol? .. perhaps don't worry about iq, and just get each other drunk? ..
 john doe 8
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 8
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:10:59 PM
Imagine living in a world full of color blind people?
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 9
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:13:46 PM
and all this time i thought IQ meant i quit ; i be damn bean me up scotty
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 10
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:15:49 PM
I honestly think it's the cognizance that has to be comparable in a partner.

In high school my main rival for "Class Brain" was only 'book smart', i.e., if he didn't
read it,he couldn't understand it.

He couldn't apply a real-life situation to a hypothetical situation.

20+ years later, he STILL comes to me for advice!!

And yes,His IQ is more than 10 points higher than mine!
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 11
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The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:32:36 PM
IQ – nice theory…

There is so much crap about IQ that it boggles the mind. Yes there are people that are better or worse at particular things than others. I will never play pro basket ball. That does not mean that I can’t care about it.

To be clearer, there is no real IQ test that is complete. There are tests for particular aptitudes, like math or writing. Those are practical skills, not really core personality traits. There are rumors to how many dimensions of intelligence and such. What do these things mean? Hooey!!!

For my part, “the one” is someone that will accept you for who you are and stand by you. There are no dimensions that describe it. It all comes down to two words. Without them it is all for not and with them, truly with them anything is possible. Those words are “I WANT”. In a relationship, any relationship, is it I WANT you. They are powerful words.

I know a couple that have been together since middle school. She was the clumsy, short, fat girl making the cow eyes and he was an Adonis. He was (and is) a huge, blonde, with giant muscles, smart, capable the perfect guy. She picked him out and held on. He has never been with another and is fine with that. They are getting gray now and he loves her more now than ever. To see them together it makes no sense, because they are so different. To listen to them it is like constant bickering. But if you listen closely, they are being completely open to one another.

FYI: in his early teens he did a charcoal of Diogenes. I often wonder if he knew who that was. He went to tech and learned to weld; she followed and is a beautician. He picked up basic calculus in 11th grade, to solve metallurgical problems.

There are May – December stories that are healthy. Heck, look at any movie with Danny DeVito. What an ugly monster he is, but a genuine person and lovable in his own way.


- Rick “De gustibus non est disputandum” ;^)
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 12
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:39:31 PM
...speak to them for a few minutes....that speaks volumes OVER a measured IQ test!....many folks (women included) fail structured tests repeatedly, yet, maybe brilliant.....

...OR, more commonly in my xperience...they MAYBE mensa material..but are blooming IDIOTS in every day life......LOL.....

...a NUMBER? lol...i DONT want to pick a potential DATE or MATE on an IQ number a SEMINAR dicated would be best for me!.....

...what works for you, tho...??? never know!...

...GOOD LUCK with that....
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 13
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:42:42 PM
Well, in my own experience the guys that have claimed to have near the IQ that mine is at all tended to be full of themselves and think they're better then everyone else. So ya, give me someone on the lower end lol
 The Anti-Date
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 14
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:47:33 PM
Why do you need the exact number? I've always been able to figure out pretty quickly if someone is in the same ballpark as me IQ-wise. And I think the premise makes a lot of sense, that it's an area where you want to be pretty evenly matched. Who wants to spend a lot of time with somebody that makes them feel stupid and conversely why waste time with someone that you can't carry on a conversation with?
 john doe 8
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 15
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:49:14 PM
-so ready to go for $200?
-no,I'll just take my $100,and go home.
-you do realise,that you still got all your lifelines left?
-yeah,no thanks.
-well,do you at least want to here the question?
-no,I o.k with a hundred,thanks.
Joined: 5/8/2005
Msg: 16
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The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:09:01 PM
In an intro psych textbook I read it said that IQ tests only messure what the IQ test messures and if that sounds like a lot of circular reasoning well at least the psychology folk realize how vague the issue is because it then discussed several different IQ tests and how they were similiar and how they differed and why the differences were I guess the issues are which tests (there are several and the numbers from one do not correlate with the numbers from another). Some measure differing types of IQ as well.

Since the issue is incredibly complicated (and only a few people have taken more than one of these tests) it would seem to me to be a waste of time worrying over this. I suspect that any communication with the other person will provide enough information to decide if that person is intellectually compatible.
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 17
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:16:55 PM
You can say that again BadBrain.

These days, I'm okay with someone that had the fortitude to graduate from high school or has a GED.
The desire to learn with an open mind is the key element that attracts me.
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 18
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:16:58 PM
There are all different kinds of intelligence.
My ex husband was VERY intelligent, could run circles around me, but could not find himself accross a town he had lived in for 10 years. He would get lost!

It could be the expert you heard was not as smart as they thought they were.

Having a person who is near you in intelligence is good, but having a person that makes you laugh as well as one that you can count, that is what we really need!
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 19
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The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:43:32 PM
1- You are compromising your reality if you base the success of a relationship on the IQ because there's no prove for that and,

2-IQ test are -as far as I know- made and/or approve by psychology, and this people are the biggest fraud there is on this planet, which is the reason for the existence of people with "very high IQs, yet unsuccessful".

Hence, it'll never work.
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 20
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:52:01 PM
This is bull (chuckle).

IQ doesn't measure how much you know, but how smart you are. There's a big difference. Sitting down and chatting with someone will not give you an idea as to how smart they are, because not everyone has the same opportunities in life. A genius may have to drop out of school before finishing high school because of family or financial situations. Someone could have the knowledge of a peanut and still be a genius. Sounds to me like the dude who gives those seminars is off his rocker.
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 21
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The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:11:09 PM
You don't, Yeah... but then again there's the point that nearly everybody has a "normal" IQ, which means that nearly everybody is within 10 or 20 points of everybody else ANYWAY, so what's the issue? Those who're outside the fence in either direction are likely to have a lot of trouble finding others within their IQ range...

...but then again it's not intellectual intelligence that makes for great relationships. Two "genia" can be miserable with each other as easily as with anyone else. Relationship is all about how two people accept and tolerate and welcome their differences... and you certainly don't have to be topheavy to accept and tolerate and welcome differences. Relationship is also all about being mutually constructive instead of destructive - again, it has nothing to do with IQ.

The guy selling the seminars is SELLING something. I don't figure what he's selling is WORTH anything, but it sells.
 Big Red Flag
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 22
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:25:38 PM
I have read about this and the 20 point spread is about right, generally. I did the numbers and figure I have a dating pool of about 270 women in the US, once I take into account several other factors, like being single, sexual orientation, personal preferences. Then there is whether we ever meet, and if we do, are we having a good day. I could work with this if they were all in one place, but they aren't. The one thing I have going for me if we ever do meet, is I am as rare for her as she is for me. I figure once my book is published I will attract a mate. Part of the book is a personals ad. If she's out there and she reads it, she'll be in touch.
 john doe 8
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 23
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:29:53 PM
Dont you mean 296 woman in the USA?Welcome to my world....
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 24
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:34:14 PM
<---------------- IQ 141
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 25
The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:40:58 PM
I don't know my IQ. You don't need a test though to figure out if the person you are speaking to is intelligent or not. Then there different types of intelligence. There is book smart and creative intelligence. I'm sure there are lots who would beat me on an IQ test that if we were put in a situation together that required creative problem solving, I might do a better job.

I want the person I'm going to be spending the majority of my time with to at least be able to grasp what I'm saying.

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