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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Loners - what gives ?      Home login  
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 Simlasa
Joined: 10/30/2004
Msg: 8
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Loners - what gives ? Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
It seems to be everywhere...

I've met people like this... loners... male and female... I always kind of admired/envied them... so many troubles come from the need to be 'with' people... but it can be very nice a lot of the time too...
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 19
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:24:26 PM
Other people can be such an aggravation sometimes.
I look forward to when I can come home and be alone in peace.
It's a trade off really.
To yearn for a tender touch, yet put off by a shallow mind.
 oneafternoon
Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 24
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 5:27:53 PM
I'm not really sure why you made a thread about this guy. I think your the odd one. What's wrong with living your life alone? Maybe the question you should ask yourself is WHY do you seek so much attention in life?
 Lazarus_aust
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 25
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/30/2006 2:53:05 AM
Another example of why life is not like TV.

I am someone who falls into this loner catergory.

I don't ever expect to get married, I have friends, and I have had lovers, but they always seem to move on or drift apart.

I have a life plan, and I have made that plan on the assumption that I will be singe all my life.

I am perfectly happy with it. I am not crying or complaining cos I sleep alone at night, I spread out and enjoy the whole bed.

Not having a signifigant other isn't the end of the world, there is more to life than sex and dating.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 27
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/30/2006 7:01:59 AM
Kyakchick

Take a cruise through the broken hearts section

Relationship break ups marriages in chaos, or destroyed. Domestic violence everywhere.

A happy marriage is fine but it's a reall gamble and one that it increasingly hard to find.

And going it alone is certainly better, and happier than any sort of dud relationship.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 32
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/30/2006 3:15:54 PM
I hadn't really thought of myself as a loner ~ even when I was continuously called that. Older and wiser, I now agree. I have been married and he was gone often for fairly long periods of time ~ it worked. I got the best of both worlds. Now that I'm older, it seems unlikely that I will find someone who is willing to adjust to my need for insane amounts of alone time. One the other hand, maybe with my son now an adult and my life less stressful ~ I might be able to tolerate constant contact with someone. I have yet to meet that person, but it may be a possibility. Highly unlikely ~ but it's a nice fantasy!!
 kristinanb
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 39
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/31/2006 5:17:33 PM
I suppose most people would consider me a loner. I am pretty quiet and do many things on my own. I prefer small groups and one on one interactions. I've never been married and wouldn't live with someone without marriage.

If I found someone, it would be great, but being by myself is pretty good too.

Tina
 Hot_tuna
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 44
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/1/2006 11:43:28 AM
It happens...

I have many friends who are not married at age 45 and over. Nice looking guys that had bad luck with women. It happens.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 61
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 2:14:10 AM
Anyone else find this odd ? or am i being judgemental ?
=================================

Kayak

You are being totally judgemental the way most women are with guys. And this is why they prefer to stick to themselves.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 62
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 2:20:37 AM
Kayak
That's pretty much my lifestyle at the moment.

But here's a point that you havent thought about. I was just having a snack and inhaled a bit of hamburger. So for the last hour I've just been leaning over the kitchen sink coughing and spittting. I can do that in peace because I don't have a nagging partner carring on about either my health, OR the "mess" I'm making of her sink. (Strange how it's her sink untill the time comes to actually do the dishes in it.)
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 63
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 2:26:21 AM
hopefully i will survive it with out banging on the neighbours door craving for conversation with an adult ..
===========================
If you want to chat with the neighbours get onto the roof and do some repairs or painting up there. I've been puttting a hot water service up there over the past few days and have had quite a few interesting chats.
 secrtluvr
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 76
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:45:01 PM
BIG difference between being a loner and asexual. I think the guy's a genius. Like Flaubert, or Brahms, he's got more insight than most, and he doesn't shit where he lives.
 chicaboom
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 82
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:29:43 PM
i'm sure there are lots of reasons, lots of people only want want they cannot have
theey spend their lives alone., and some people are so selfish and conceited they dont know theyre alone
 Ldygmr
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 87
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:52:25 PM
I understand it completely.
I like my space. I do not want someone else in it making claims on it.
If I want physical affection, I can get it wherever...I don't have to give up anything to get it. Today's instant-gratification-no-strings society is perfect for the loner.
 Mysterious...
Joined: 9/2/2006
Msg: 97
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 9/25/2006 6:01:06 PM
I am a huge loner, not shy at all as most people would believe. I have no problem at all standing up for myself and if needed I can be the most noticable person in any situation but I do prefer to spend the majority of my time alone or with a SO or just doing things on my own but just trying to find a woman is dam near impossible as it seems they are all social butterflies which is my 100% complete opposite.

Where would a loner type guy go to meet a loner type woman? If they had meeting for people like us should I be surprised if nobody showed up? and if I showed up could I call myself a loner anymore?
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 105
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:30:58 PM
I have a good friend who has never been married, lives with no one, enjoys his own company immensely, and is as sane as I (uh, more sane than I). He lacks not for human interaction, is a professor at a University, goes backpacking with mates he's known for decades, and leads a relatively normal, un-plagued life while living alone. He comes over in the the fall to watch the local college football games, joins in holiday meals, is always ready to pop over for special grilling events, and is totally on the other side of the political spectrum from me -- yet we have been known to discuss our political differrences respectfully. I have helped him remodel his house, he has helped with projects around my house.

Is he any more abnormal than I who have had and will have relationships?

I am of the mind that he is an asexual loner. He just lives in a different place on the sexuality spectrum than I do. It's not that life I would choose, but it seems to work for him. He is content.

TK
{no, really, not the life I would choose, really!}
 soulmate11958
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 106
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/6/2011 5:57:31 AM
well i,m some what of a loner too/but i do what a mate i just dont care for other that have so many things going on i understand kids if there small and they need your time but once they are over 18 there should be some space.
most still say they spend a lot of time with there kids and family and friends and then there is there church/and there job so where is there time for that so call guy you want.
for the gut that has nothing it sounds like well many things could have happen to him
maybe his family beat him a lot maybe they where drunks /and heavy smokes drug user
so whom are we to judge others life is hard enough.co works picking on him to much.
for each of us well i guess we all have or own needs.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 107
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/12/2011 5:26:38 AM
My older brother is a 57 year old bachelor that has never been married... had some relationships along the way, but nothing seriously long term. He's said that he does regret not having children and that he would have enjoyed having someone to share his life with.

He's pointed out that the longer he's thrown himself into his interests and single life... the ability to go anywhere at any time... being able to spend all of his time and money on his hobbies... then the harder it is to let someone in. Set in his ways.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 110
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/17/2011 4:40:38 PM
I guess at this point in my life, I could be consider a loner. Being a crossdresser, or even one who no longer does it, but admits to the desire, removes me from being boyfriend material for >99% of women, and the very few that are o.k. with it, are either too far away, or are incompatible with me. So I have to face the fact that I may never have another girlfriend. It's not an easy life to live.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 112
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/17/2011 5:18:22 PM
~OT~ The only "loner" I've dated was the most problematic situation of my single adulthood. We both loved our alone time, but we never could get our alone time to mesh. He'd want company, I'd want to be alone. I'd want company, he'd want to be alone. In hindsight, I probably had more enjoyable time with him than anyone I've know because when we were on the same schedule, we truly loved one another's company ~ but it was sure problematic getting to that point. I've learned to give on my time, but yet there is still an issue when I want to be alone. Most take it personal, the time limitations, when it's not personal towards them, it's personal about me. Some call it selfish, I call it sanity. JMO
 Funlovinguy61
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 114
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/19/2011 9:02:50 PM
This is one subject I'm all too familiar with. First off, I have no family left alive, they have all passed. I grew up an only child, so I was alone quite a lot when I was younger and I think that is part of the reason that I'm comfortable being alone now. I've never been the type of person that has to be surrounded by people to feel liked, loved or a success. I was previously in a relationship for a little over 10 years, but have never been married and have no children. As for friends, let's say right now I have quite a lot of acquaintances, but only one or two true friends. If you do me wrong, you're gone, period. I went through too many years being used by people that I kicked them all to the curb. I'd rather be alone and happy, than be surrounded by people who I consider false friends and users.
Contrary to what you may think from reading this, I'm a very friendly outgoing person and can talk to almost anyone. I love making people laugh and tend to be the one to start conversations and do just about anything to bring a smile to someone's face. Would I like to meet a wonderful woman who I could share my life with, of course I would. Until that time though, it's me and my dog living and loving life.
 gwrrunner
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 116
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/20/2011 7:37:50 PM
was a loner for quite a while back in my late teens and my early 20's...but, for me, came out of it in my later 20's...a lot more fun NOT being a loner...LOL
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 117
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 3/22/2011 1:27:48 AM
My career involves working with people and thou I like to go out and socialize, I don't mind living alone because there are times when I just want to be alone listening to my music, reading a good book or watching a movie and just relaxing, it also reduces my stress. This doesn't mean I'm not actively looking for that special someone, but I do enjoy those quiet times. So not sure if that makes me a loner or not.
 EasyPeasy72
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 119
Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 10/4/2011 9:08:26 PM
He sounds super abused as a child and super insecure and probably was told no one would love/accept him! How sad. But I've met his type, learned he was doomed to a lonely life from some sick adult abuser and totally took in.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 122
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Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 10/7/2011 2:05:32 PM
He probably had a lot of married or dating friends and listened to them talk about it and thought "Stuff that for a masochistic pursuit"
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