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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?      Home login  
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 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 3
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If someone's really clean, and can be trusted to stay so, I don't see why not to be with them.
 broken_icon
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 4
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:34:18 PM
What kind of junkie? If you stay on meth long enough, it really starts to **** with your looks. So I would have to go with no.

But then again, who knows. I can't confidently give an answer because I have never been in the position. Only speculation.
 delytful
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 5
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:35:16 PM
I agree with KOAS. They would have had to be clean for years before I would even give it a chance.
 SnappyDoodle
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 6
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:35:45 PM
Been there, done that, never again.

I would not have done it in the first place, but she made a number of playboy movies, and was smart to boot.

I was so smitten (i.e. in lust)
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 7
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:46:28 PM
Dated one alcoholic. Know the signs now, hindsight truly is 40/40!! Never again, or someone who's going through rehab. Not fair to me or them or to the other people who are involved in life, IE my family. Addictive personalities are extremely hard to deal with and rob too many people who are not of what they want. No way, no how for me!!
 Wolfie65
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 8
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:51:39 PM
No such thing as an 'ex' junkie.
 Gmaverick
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 11
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:56:55 PM

Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?



It would depend upon what "clean" means.

The residuals of drugs taken are known to stay forever on the fat tissue; the damages caused to the brain are sometimes irreversible.

There are situations that restimulate the behavior the person had when he/she was under the influence.

Therefore it’s no easy to answer that question from my view point.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:04:32 PM
There are people who are addicts. Bottom line, they trade one addiction for another.
There are those few who turn to drugs who are going through a rough patch and don't have enough relationship skills to learn how to deal.
There's a fine line between the two.
 John5150
Joined: 4/4/2004
Msg: 14
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:04:43 PM
well, not one that's cleaned up "his" act.. but "hers" maybe..

a clean junkie/alcoholic is still a junkie, but can live life like anyone else.. I know someone close to me that is, and he's fine.. in fact I know several.. all have been clean from 10-20 years each, with no relapses at any time..

I don't see any problem, as long as they don't go back to the junk (that's where things get strange)
 John5150
Joined: 4/4/2004
Msg: 16
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:15:21 PM
there are people who will help a person.. both with the rehab and beating the odds...

actually, rehabilitate myself seemed to be the answer.. one stint in outpatient rehab, one stint in inpatient, then when I DECIDED to quit, I stopped. I don't think that I'm such a bad person.. being addicted is no different than being born without a finger right? you learn to do things differently than others

by the way, how did you move in that getup you are wearing in that pic? is that a geiger counter in your hand?
 John5150
Joined: 4/4/2004
Msg: 18
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:19:40 PM
hell yeah I'm happy man!!! I actually remember the insane stuff that I pull.. I can list so many things that improve (work, salary, sex, etc) when I cleaned up..

at this moment in my life (the next moment may be a bit different) I don't miss numb, not a bit..
 Kytasau
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 20
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:46:37 PM
Cowboy:

"takes courage and will sheer power to beat those odds and try to rehabiltiate yourself on your own without any help and try to fit back into society..."

Exactly why I would date a rehabilitated addict: sheer courage, strength and will. They were tested and came through their battle. Says much for their character and it's something I can honour.
:-)
 loveangel93308
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 21
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:53:29 PM
You know i have dated a person who cleaned up and went right back to the same thing. But i am a person who has quite smokeing, drinking, and drugs. And I have very healthy relationships. I work, go to school and take care of my children. I would say it all depends on the person.
 Sassy911
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 22
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 6:14:51 PM
I agree with Kytsa.....I respect anyone who has fought an addiction and won the battle...whether it be alcohol,drugs,overeating or whatever.........shows will power,strength and courage......so yes I would date an ex-junkie.
 blindheart1
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 24
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 6:43:41 PM

Exactly why I would date a rehabilitated addict: sheer courage, strength and will. They were tested and came through their battle. Says much for their character and it's something I can honour.


Kytasa* Obviously, IMO, You are also one of strength and courage, along with compassion and support. MOST people never having been down this road themselves, have no idea of the battle, recovered addicts and alcoholics, must fight, sometimes, and more often than not, on a day to day basis. Many tend to steer clear of relationships with these kind of people from their own fear and insecurities that the person will relapse. Often a potential mate will show signs of doubt and a lack of confidence in an addict or alcoholic, which their own weakness in support, along with a lack of faith, can drive one into relapsing more easily. Have you ever noticed, its often advised to not date or enter into any new or different relationships for at least a full year of sobriety, if not longer ? It seems to be overlooked that the longer one remains clean, the more determined they become to stay that way indefinately, not to mention how this also strengthens other areas in their life as well.

............ so I've read anyhow.... ..........
 Kytasau
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 25
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 6:50:19 PM
Blindheart:

Well said.

I've never had substance abuse addictions myself. However, I've known many who have. My best friend is a guy that I've known since I was thirteen and I remained his friend all through his battles with heroin. He's clean, he's beautiful and has the biggest heart I've ever seen.

The ones who come through usually have a greater love of life and appreciation for what they have. Not to mention the fact, more understanding and compassion. They 'get' the important things in life.
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 26
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:13:21 PM
No I wouldn't. Life is hard enough without being involved with someone you would have to worry about going back to drugs. I am assuming you mean something stronger than pot.
 blindheart1
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 27
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:18:34 PM
**Kytasa**

"AMEN" to that ! There is no greater gift than life itself. I am an addict who has been in recovery for years now, all I can say is, "I am who I am, and accept that I cannot change my past, I would if I could , but I cant, and see no point in wasting energy on regrets, its just that simple..... and if one cannot accept me because of my past, I am only better off then, for they are clearly not seeing me for who I am in the now, present anyhow.
 delytful
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 28
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 7:14:51 AM
Going through this thread I am starting to wonder why, since the thing that junkies do best is lie, anyone should believe one is "rehabilitated". Hiding their addiction is one of the things they learn to do first, and I sure don't want to have to waste my time keeping such a close eye on someone to make SURE they aren't doing dope anymore.
And for all of those that want kudos for quitting, saying how strong and courageous they are, where was all that strength when it came to not getting in that situation in the first place? I have a lot more respect for those who took the stance of not doing it in the first place. And after seeing my own brother "rehabed" time and again, doesn't seem like something you should really count on, if they have to keep redoing it. I also got mad as hell when he got up on his soapbox (all that preaching about how to be to people who never got it wrong in the first place) and actually acted like he was better than me for going through rehab. Told him he could stick it where the sun don't shine if he thinks staying straight makes you less.
 Solitude100years
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 35
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 10:41:43 AM
The most effective consolation in every misfortune and every affliction is to observe others who are the more unfortunate than we, hence everybody deserves a second chance. There's nothing like capital punishment. Now you're clean, means you'd paid for your wrong doing, means you deserve to be loved, respected and everything along the way.

It'd be my pleasure to meet you.
 MarkCK
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 36
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 11:06:17 AM
theres a lot of people who havn't done drugs, who think they know about the type of people who do drugs, and what its all about, but have no idea. probably seen crazy junkies in movies or homeless people who've got mixed up in drugs on the street, but there's more to it than that and it's not always like that

i've dabbled, but i'm not a druggy, nothing too heavy, well no needles and all that, I suppose maybe thats a line to be drawn there's lots of drugs like caffeine, cigarettes etc, some heavy drugs arn't so bad and don't generally fuck people up, there are some nasty drugs like heroin and crack which arn't so nice and are horribly addictive, people do these at first generally to have a good time, and they do, weather its healthy or not its the best time but it fades pretty quick and they get left with an unhealthy habbit

even so, good people are about having good hearts right, and good minds, if someone doesn't have those things you hopefully wouldn't get with them, its always best to get to know someone first I think it's really good to have a decent friendship with someone before you get with them

I don't condone drugs as such but some drugs in moderation can make you feel good, same as getting drunk, I bet most people here have gotten drunk, if you think about that though you're actually pouring poison into your bodies, but it doesn't get looked at like that and judged so much because everyone does it once in a while

you get your hang overs thats the price to pay. people can get mixed up in them it's not a good thing to get dependant on any drug but it happens sometimes to the best of people

I'd date anyone if I felt right and I had a healthy love with them, I bet you'd get with someone if they seemed great too. there'd be less to judge if someone hadn't done lots of drugs, being all judgemental though - opinions can be like ass holes! everybody has one

who likes a judgemental ass-hole? that's worse than a 'druggy'

shouldn't get wrapped up in judgement it dampens you as a person!! anybody can screw you over you shouldn't stereotype
 Jynx_2005
Joined: 10/13/2004
Msg: 37
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 12:47:19 PM
I would say yes. But thats only because I've been there and done that. It becomes too hard to get everything else that you are looking for in life after you become clean and wake up to reality. Why would you discriminate against somebody because of something that happened in their past that is no longer applicable? People change and most of the time, others don't realise that. I'm never dishonest about my drug history. Its not like I got AIDs or anything, but I usually don't tell people that I was addicted to Heroin until I know them enough to feel comfortable with it.
 Jynx_2005
Joined: 10/13/2004
Msg: 38
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 12:49:06 PM
A junkie, by definition, is somebody who has shot up. Whether it be heroin or something else.
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 39
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 2:28:53 PM
My first answer is no.

I can see that some people may have had problems in the past and if it was a long long time ago then i could deal with it if everything else about the person was good.

Also depends on what it was they had been using.

A good friend of mine was friends with a woman whos husband had been a heroin addict 20 yrs ago. well he fell back into using it and hiding it. she eventually found out and kicked him out. she didnt want him doing that around their child. She tried to help him and still let him come over when he was sober to spend time with the boy. Anyway she came home from work one day to find him dead in the bathroom.

Thing about being an addict is once you are one you always are one. Someone might kick it but they still have the problem and have to deal with it. Some can kick it forever and others can struggle to keep clean. No such thing as a former addict. But there are addicts that arent using.
 safarigal
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 41
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/2/2006 5:20:18 PM
not just no but hell no I would never date anyone that is "clean and/or sober". I have a friend who's alcoholic and a son who's a junkie. Why would I want another user in my life? Way too much drama for me.
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