Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!      Home login  
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 5
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
nothing wrong with formalizing the joint custody arrangements ... and in regards to the support amount, in Ontario, there is a formula based on your income minus his income .. as the bases for support payment and the payment is tax free according to a standard table that I am sure you can find on the net.

$650 on a 50/50 joint custody of a couple of girls sounds too high .. unless you are making close to 6 figure and he is getting by on 20 grand a year.
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 10
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:30:34 AM
^^^ Sorry girls ... it doesn't work that way ... not in Canada anyway

There is a federal schedule for the support payment in place that is gender irrelevant ... and she can't get full custody just because she is the woman. If there is a status quo in place ie: one week on and one week off right now ... then that's the way it will stand.

If she does make more money .. she has to pay .. pure and simple.
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 12
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/8/2006 8:38:19 AM
grrrrr greedy sob.... my ex only thinks of himself...only pays what he thinks is right doesnt take the kids more than is neccasary...left me with a $ 600 dental bill...dumps the kids on his mother because he can....its all about selfishness and lack of responsibilty.

Its all about him not anyone else plain and simple. he insists his kids are his life but does nothing to prove it.Over and over again i see shows of his selfishness and it hurts me deeply knowing the kids deserve better than that.

He tried to pull the same BS and "tried" to lower the child support he thinks hes brilliant!! because my kids are babysat still while i work by his mom, the kids in body only, are there 5 days a week.They go to school yes, but he thinks the kids are there 40-30. So! now he tried to pull the shit saying i should get less support. UH HUH...RIGIIGGHHTTT....from what the law tells me...the kids have to actually LIVE THERE sleep there and be looked after by HIM he is never there during the day the bonehead is working.The kids live with me 24/7 and come home every night. He takes them only every 2 weeks...

nice try slimeball...
Joined: 1/20/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/8/2006 11:03:07 AM
Now this thread is hilarious. Chryslergirl, if you were a guy everyone on here would be livid with you for not paying child support in the first place. You may be helping out but you are suppose to help out ... its not a favour to him its your responsibility.

In a joint custody situation where both parents have the children over 40% of the time the way support is typically calculated is to take the child support that each parent would have to pay if the other had full custody and the higher income parent would pay the lower income parent the difference. All other child care expenses including daycare are split income proportional (not half and half). For taxation purposes you can only claim half of the daycare even though you may pay quite a bit more.

Another tax gotcha is that you won't be able to claim the "equivalent to spouse" claim because you can't claim that if you pay non-deductable support (child support). It can suck to make the most in a relationship.

I understand your situation very well because I'm in it myself. I have joint custody with my ex (we both have our girls over 40% of the time) and I make multiple times what she makes.

The other half that you may have to get into is spousal support. In Canada we now have new spousal support guidelines. These guideline aren't law like the child support ones but they do direct the thought processes of the courts. So be carefull that you don't get too indignant you may have to pay significantly more than what you would have thought. The current line of thinking in the spousal support guidelines is that you would have to pay until the youngest child is 18.

Here is a link to the tables for ontario.

Here is a link to the spousal support paper ... search from there to find other information.

Good luck
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 15
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/8/2006 12:57:38 PM

You may be helping out but you are suppose to help out ... its not a favour to
him its your responsibility."

I don't understand this, sorry...
She has them one week and therefore pays her do's and he has them the other
week and therefore should also pay his do's. Why should she pay her ex on his
turn to support them? Yes it's both their children and yes I'm sure she wants them
to have the best of both worlds but if one parent has to work their ass off for the kids
then other parent should also have to work their ass off.

I don't think it has anything to do with her being a woman, it has to do with one
parent trying to take advantage of the fact the other makes a salary worth trying to
get a piece of, and if he really thought it was necessary for the sakeof the children
he'd get his butt out the door and earn that necessary money for his daughter's because
that's what parents do...... They give their all to their child(ren)!

Okay, child support in every case is different, from amount etc
but if the the other parent is using it to actually support themselves LOL and don't work
because heck, that's enough. That's just wrong!! do you know why........?

Now don't jump all over me for what I am about to say but....... This is exactley what the (some)males(dads) have been putting up for years with some females(moms). I still don't understand why any parent(male or female) would not carry their fair share of the load of raising(and paying) of their children. But here we are in the year 2006 with more divorces, more breakups and more children living in what we used to call "dysfunctial" families, and parents(using the word loosely here) fighting over $$$ all in the name of the children. Uh huh. During the first few years of my split with my ex,(we share custody etc of our only child) she got it into her head(after talking with her other divorced girlfriends) that I should be paying her more money for our daughter,because of the money I make. Well, whenever I had my daughter in my care, if she needed anything, I got it for her. What I did do was save every reciept when I did get something for her. I gave my ex a copy of all the reciepts for a month and then asked her if she even came close to putting that much out towards OUR child. I never heard a word again about $$$$.

My daughter has now moved into my place full-time and my ex asked me how much I wanted from her. The ex stared at me in disbelief when I told her I did'nt want any money from her, just that we take care of the daughter when she needs us. Remember parents,,,,it's YOUR children, and those children do grow up, and they will remember.

I'm still amazed that some of us have to be told by the courts to take care of our children. Dumbfounded,actually.
Joined: 1/20/2005
Msg: 18
view profile
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:51:59 PM
I just went through it myself and I pay her quite a bit but I think its totally fair. I woulddn't want my children living in poverty when they are with her and living like queens (they're girls) when they live with me. They need a consistent life style across both homes. That is what the laws are all about. But I do make 5 times more than my ex. If our incomes were closer to equal than no support would need to be paid.

And great purple hairstreak ... its about the children not the parents. Think of it this way, if she made 100k a year and he made a million a year should he pay child support? Of course, because its not about him or her its about the children and its the law here in Ontario. Even though both households can easily supply for the childrens survival its about the children having the same lifestyle in both homes.

For those of you out there that think that child support is for the children ... congradulations. This is the same argument that men have been using to try and avoid paying support and failing for years. Child support is for the childrens family unit because that is where the children benefit from it. Would you expect a mom to live in poverty while her children get 5k a month in child support from their father ... I don't think so. That money would pay for a nicer home, vacations, a vehicle, the childrens education, retirement plans ... it would support the whole family unit.
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 23
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/9/2006 5:31:18 PM
well from the sounds of it .... he sounds like a typical moocher

tell him to take you to court and watch him loose... keep everything/ write down everything
what you send with the girls .. how much money you spend or give on/to him

find out how long he has not been working and write that down ..
everything and anything you can write down do it cause you will need it
what time they go to thier dads and what time they come home ....

my sister is going threw all that and some .... her ex wont give up
and she has to write everything down ...

just my thoughts
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 28
My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!
Posted: 6/10/2006 11:20:22 AM
Child support guidelines are pretty straight forward in Canada and myself and another guy here tried to explain them to you in short.

Here is a link with all the information, tables and worksheets.

You can argue for potential earning if you like, but that would be a waste of money ... and $650, based on what you put sounds very high ...

Check this site. You won't need to spend money on lawyers. The guidelines are very simple and straight forward.

Bottom line, kids are young and you guys are the parents ... and that situation will never change. Learn to get along.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > My ex is taking me to court . . . .again!