Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why guys don't dance.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I am a woman and I'm not into dancing. I"d rather listen to the music and talk than be out there bumbling my way around the dance floor.
 wanttotalktoyou
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 6
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/11/2006 11:55:04 PM
I must admit I'm not very good at fast dancing. Slow dancing, on the other hand...
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/12/2006 1:26:59 PM
I'm with those who say in many cases it's just simply that we don't want to or don't care. I think a lot of guys would say dancing is stupid/pointless/a waste of time etc. and would rather spend the time doing something they actually enjoy or take interest in... and if they do dance, it's just a way to meet/impress/be popular with women.

If most women didn't like to dance, and like men who dance, I'd say about 2% of men would bother to dance... the rest would have no motivation for it. Of course some of us don't do anything just to be popular with women anyway!- since when did we men decide that we needed to kiss women's cute little butts and do all sorts of silly tricks just to "get them to like us"?

If you like dancing great! But let's be honest, lots of guys interest level in dancing would drop to zero as soon as women were taken out of the equation...
 Si_or_No
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/12/2006 3:54:58 PM
I have no idea .. why many men can't dance .. but it certainly is from a lack of effort ..

As for myself .. I was born with a great sense of rhythm and natural fluidity .. so I have Always been drawn to music .. my body just starts to move .. and I can't help but express myself ..lol!

I can dance to anything ... but my Fav is Salsa! When I first moved to Miami .. I took a series of lessons .. and got hooked .. down here .. its a whole lifestyle!

Over there years I've gotten very good .. having Won several regional competitions .. I even applied to several of the Private ALL Latin Salsa clubs here .. but was turned down .. ( not being Latin .. seems to be the thing .. lol!) BUT .. after 3 years of trying .. a business associate from Argentina .. sponsored my application .. and today I'm the ONLY Non Latin member ..

The club sponsors weekly competitions .. and its very Intense ..

I get a few odd stares when I drive to the club in my dance attire .. but the gurls there are the HOTTEST thing ever .. lol!

I could care less what anyone else thinks!

Salsa!
 kimbatwl
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/12/2006 4:30:20 PM
Why guys should (at least try) to dance.
(Sorry it is long)

I used to date a guy that really was a terrible dancer. (He had a hard time finding the beat.) Nevertheless, he danced and loved it. We were out on the dance floor all the time. He always had tons of girls wanting to dance with him. He was out there for himself, not for any woman. This made him more attractive even though his moves were not so hot.

If you feel you need few drinks to loosen your inhibitions then have a “few”, but please do not dance drunk. You will almost never keep to the beat. I used to think that I needed a drink before I would go out on the floor. Now I often do not drink at all and I am on the dance floor from the moment I walk in the club until it is time to go home. I have many male friends that feel the same way.

I love to dance. I am not a trained dancer in any way. I do not think I am a good dancer compared to many, however, when I am actually dancing, I do not care about that. I have had people tell me they like watching me dance. I am surprised every time it happens. I dance by myself; I dance with my female and male friends. We dance together or in groups, it does not matter. If you enjoy the beat and it makes you move, just move. Practically any movement will look good if you are really enjoying it. Try not to hit anyone and try to keep moving to the beat. Yes, there will always be someone who does not look as “cool” as everyone else, but that happens in every aspect of life. Some people do go out in a “flannel lumberjack shirt, cargo shorts and sandals with black socks” and think they do look good. They are comfortable with themselves and their choices.

When I ask a guy to dance with me it is because, even though there may be other men around, he is the one that I want to be with at that moment. You can feel a close connection with that person when you are dancing. When you feel the music in concert it does not matter how many others are around you, you share that moment together. It is like when you go to a busy restaurant and you do not even notice all the other people around you because you are enjoying yourself so much that they do not matter.

You certainly did not know how to drive the first time you got behind the wheel or how to ride a bike. You do not know how to do most things without practice. The more you practice, the more confident you will feel about the task and yourself. If you will not dance because you do not like it, then do not do it. If you do not like it because you do not think you can, then get off you butt and “just do it!”
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/12/2006 10:04:27 PM
I would MUCH rather be cooking on the grill, watching sports, taking a walk, visiting with friends/family, going to the beach, going to the movies or going to a music concert than going out dancing. And I am a woman! Not all women like to dance. I'll do a couple of obligatory dances at a wedding, but it's more fun to talk with people at the wedding than it is to be out on the dance floor.

Cooking is WAY more fun than dancing, any day!

To one of the posters who mentioned cooking on the grill, I'll grill with ya!

Grillin' DW
 HottieScotty
Joined: 6/9/2004
Msg: 15
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/12/2006 10:18:29 PM
I use-ta be a great dancer.....
Then a bad crash racin quads.....( knee)
Then another bad crash racin quads( coller bone, and other leg.)
Well....i'm good untel it blows out....then it's a bugger when i fall to the floor and do the chicken..till i can get it popped back in.
Makes me a little.....yes .a little self concience
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/13/2006 6:23:35 AM
"Um, isn't this a dating site?

Aren't we all ... uh ... trying to meet women?"

Molonel, what happened to the little lady then if you're here to meet women? See, that's not the only reason people are here...

"Do you think I'd go out there just to watch YOUR pasty white ass on the dance floor?"

I'd sure hope not!

But hey, if there's anything I'd find less interesting about dancing than, well, dancing... it's watching somebody ELSE do it!
 Si_or_No
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/13/2006 2:36:28 PM
Countryangel ...

I have restrictions on my profile? WHERE??????? I hate to be ignorant .. but I'm New to POF .. I haven't intentionally put a restriction on who can contact me .. be it from Anywhere Anyone or Anything! lol!

I have searched my profile .. and can't locate where or How to check or Delete such nonsense .. if you know how .. let me know?

You're the first person to alert me to this ...

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Curt
 sillyatheart3
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 19
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/13/2006 3:00:42 PM
MEN IF YOU CAN HAVE SEX... AND YOU KNOW HOW TO PUMP AND WORK IT.. YOU CAN SQUEEZE YOUR BUTTOM. YOU CAN PUT YOUR HANDS ON WOMENS HIPS AND DO THE DIRTY DEED..

THEN YOU CAN DANCE IN THIS GENERATION.. NO JOKING..IT IS LIKE THE BEST OF LOVEMAKING.. EVERY STYLE SHAPE AND FORM.. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LET THE WOMEN MOVE AND YOU FOLLOW WITH HER.. BE RESPECTFULL WITH YOUR HANDS.. AND REMEMBER 'GRIND BABY GRIND' OR YOUR NOT DANCEING..

THE NEW DANCE IS FUN EVEN 40YRS OLD HAVE FUN.. THE KIDS WILL SHOW YOU. THEY WILL JOIN IN AND MAKE IT A 6THUM... LOL MEN BOYS WOMEN GIRLS.. WE ALL COME TO GETHER AND FEEL THE MOVE..

IT IS NOT ABOUT DISCO, OR THE TWO STEP OR WALTS... IT IS ABOUT SEX.. LOTS OF SEXUAL MOVES.. SO GET YOUR CAR KEYS AND GET YOUR TENNISHOES.. ON AND BAGGY PANTS.. LONG T-SHIRT.. GET YOUR HAIR WET AND SLICK IT BACK..

LADYS.. FORGET THE BRA. PUT ON THE HALTOR TOP AND HIP HUGGERS.. WITH A THONG.. EVEN THE MORE MATURE WOMEN.. SHUT UP AND DO IT.. PUT ON THE HEALS.. AND FOR SOME FLIP FLOPS.. LOL.. ADD IN SOME MAKE UP OR NOT.. REDDDDDD LIPSTICK.. OR NOT.. PAINT THE NAILS AND TOE NAILS.. A MUST NEON OR GLOW IN THE DARK.. ADD SOME GLITTER..

AND GET ON THE FLOOR AND SHAKE AND SHAKE.. JEWELS.
 stoneside
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 22
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/13/2006 9:29:42 PM
I was about 13 or 14 and my step-father said "K, I'm going to teach you how to dance". I thought it was silly. After all you just jump around with the music. Yeah, I was wrong. lol
Fast dancing I do "ok".
Slow dancing, which is what he showed me, I do well at. And yes, while not all women like to dance, even the ones that won't get up and dance are impressed by a guy that can move a lady around the dance floor. Let me just say, it's good to know how to dance.
 kycarguy1
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 24
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:16:30 PM
Go country dancing and the women will pull you out on the dance floor and you will learn quick, and its fun too. Yee haaa.
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:36:27 AM
"Also, a SMART guy understands that if his lady enjoys dancing, he'll get REAL EASY SEX if he dances with his lady. It's essentially foreplay to the lady."

I prefer women who'd rather either be doing something we both enjoy, or participating in actual foreplay; than women who are twisted enough to see me doing something I don't really want to, just because she wants to, as "foreplay."

I don't disagree that what you say works, but I disagree with the principle behind it. You don't see men saying "I'd really want to have sex with you if you'd just watch the game with me, get me a beer, and make me a sandwich."
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/15/2006 9:14:55 AM
"Learning to dance and going out and doing it just to increase you chances of getting laid when it's not in your heart seems kinda pathetic to me."

That's what I'm thinkin...

Whether it's getting laid with the flavor of the day, or with your wife of 20 years makes little difference. It's still putting on an act to get some a$$.

If you actually like dancing go for it... but if you don't, just be honest with her and with yourself about it. Especially if there's no give from her, and only take. If she's the type who makes some little sacrifices along the way for you, then it's a little different. But so often, it's just about the guys doing whatever it takes to get a piece.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/15/2006 9:25:29 AM
Some people are better than others. I'll accept that. But whats all this BS about not being able to dance???!!!!
Ok. Theres music of some kind playing. Usually there are drums. there is some kind of beat. Just get up off yer asses and get out there! This thread isn't about dancing... its about FEAR... and its about being convientiently closed minded.
One of the best things I learned from my "Hippy" days. Dance like no one is watching! You might be surprised that you will actually 'catch' a rhythm! Get out there.... get liberated.
And... like any other skill, it can be learned. Take some damned lessons. Swing dancing, for instance.... its all in just knowing the basic moves. Its perfect for the dancing challenged, cause the women does all the twirling and flying, while the man basically just stands there and guides her! ha!
And for those of you who say you have to get drunk first.... Warning... this suggests some kind of a drinking problem. No, its not that you are having a drink or two... its the 'have to' part. Things like alcohol should be a condoment, not a medication. Believe me, I've heard it from the ones who know.
Now.... get up and dance. If there are any Pow Wows in your neck of the woods, go check one out.... the Natives have a lot to teach us about the simple joys of dancing... just for dancings sake!
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/15/2006 12:15:07 PM
Bikeman- I wasn't intending that to be directed at you personally as simply to point out that you were hitting on the reason so many guys dance in the first place.

If you like to dance, dance! If it, umm, helps in that area, great! But your wording could also have been taken as "if you want some, pretending you like to dance or are enjoying dancing with her will likely help you get it." Which is a mutual manipulation game at best...
 redviking
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/15/2006 12:32:40 PM
"You don't see men saying "I'd really want to have sex with you if you'd just watch the game with me, get me a beer, and make me a sandwich.- redviking"


"umm....if this is the basis of your argument, then I would have to say that it is extremely weak at best!"

How do you figure? If a woman is going to use sex as an incentive system to get other things from a guy ("I'd like to sleep with him, and if he does ___ for me, I'll let him"), what is different about a guy attaching artificial requirements onto things so that he gets her to do things for him? If he wants him to pretend he likes dancing, or to dance with her just because SHE wants too, and the occurrence of sex is directly related to his compliance... why shouldn't he have a similar rewards-based system for her? (Perhaps a system where he says "give me a bl@wjob and I'll take you dancing", when she dislikes giving oral but LOVES to dance, would be a better example?)

(I actually think this would be a stupid childish tit-for-tat system, but if we're already using a stupid system, we may as well at least make it a stupid system that works both ways.... perhaps you're just in shock that I would suggest that it could go both ways?)

Of course, there is another option, you can just reject all these dumba$$ manipulative games men and women play wholesale...
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 36
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/19/2006 1:59:33 AM
Any damn female can learn to dance by just hanging off the guy and letting him lead. No such luxury for the guys.
Apart from prefessional lessons there are few ways that guys can really learn to dance.

Thats probably why the only dancing I ever got into was ice dancing.
 2findU
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:02:12 PM
OK, so maybe some do ( but we worry about those ones)

I actually like to dance to some good ol' whatever. Alcohol helps.

But I think I'm like alot of guys who don't know the moves and feel super self-concious.

We're afraid we look like one of the dorkie dancers.

Very unmacho.

Sorry girls, wish I could, but I'm chicken.

Mind you, waltzing around the living room or patio, tipping wine, is a different matter


You got that right! Plus I really don't like that "dance music". But I can dance better to music I do like because it helps to make my feet move and my body get into the rythmm. But that so called "dance music" and disco suck!
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 39
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/19/2006 10:06:44 PM
Dancing is fun. It sets you free - once you learn to not care if anyone's watching. And if anyone IS watching and laughing, you know what they're REALLY saying? "I wish I had his guts."

I'll even dance by myself. But it's never for long, you know why? Because guys on the dancefloor ARE a rare commodity, and women love it. If you can manage to build up the nerve, you'll be surrounded by lots of girls who are very impressed that you're out there.

Meanwhile, the guys are crowding the bar falling over each other to hit on a lot of very unimpressed women.

 KittyKat~KittyKat
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 40
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/19/2006 10:28:31 PM
Tincup, Hon....I'd dance with you anytime......in public or private!!
 Mojo_LA
Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 41
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/20/2006 2:35:58 AM

There's a reason why there's no Saturday Night Fever II

Ummm, it was called "Staying Alive."

But please, carry on.
 InNEOwithGEO
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 42
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:39:09 AM
Turning to Seinfeld:

Girl says "I can't believe we're going dancing."
Jerry says "Me either."
Girl says "You don't go?"
Jerry says "No because it's so stupid."

I used to be a really good dancer. As part of our show when I played in the band we did a LOT of dancing where we'd bring girls up on the stage, went off stage down to the floor for a twist contest, and in some spots the horn section guys would do line dancing kind of unison steps, mainly the old two step kind of thing. Think "Blues Brothers" when they played GImme Some Lovin'.

However (there's always a however) what I saw FROM the stage turns me off to dancing. I watch all these old people trying to recapture their lost youth, men with bad rugs, women with 11 layers of makeup, thinking in true Jackie Gleason fashion (Do the hucklebuck....) that it's things that keep you young. "Young people dance. Ergo, if I dance, people will think I am young." Well, it doesn't work like that, and most of the old people dancing looked really stupid and out of place. Whether they cared or not doesn't matter, they did. If they didn't care that they were making fools of themselves, kudos for their attitude of not caring, but the fact is they looked ridiculous.

Now, there's dancing, and there's DANCING. I know couples my age that do the fancy ballroom stuff with the swirls and dips and all of it and that I respect. But the old people that go out twice a year and just stand on a dance floor and do the belly rubbing dancing yet say "I like going dancing", that is kind of pathetic. That's ain't dancin' Sally!

I went to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy a few times, and I COULD NOT BELIEVE the young kids doing the 40s swing dancing. One pair NEVER sat down. They had a step for every rhythm, including doing a mean mambo when they did The Mambo Swing, and a really sultry thing during Minnie The Moocher. They were GREAT, like should be on TV great. I happened to step to the bar for a beer during the band's intermission and mentioned that these are the dances their grandparents probably did. The girl laughed and pointed to a table and said "And they are right over there. They taught us how to do these dances." And in the next set, during "Jump With My Baby", this 65-ish couple got up and did the Linde Hop like they invented it. Now THAT is cool. But the people who say "I like going dancing" and really don't know how, you can keep it.

In those "Travolta" years, I was really good at it. The Hustle, The Monorail (that came back as The Electric Slide), all of it. That was my late 20s and early 30s, and I looked like I fit when I would get on a dance floor.

Now in my middle 50s, with knees so bad I can hardly walk, it's not in my program anymore.
 InNEOwithGEO
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 43
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 7/20/2006 6:07:20 AM

I may be a white guy but that white guy shuffle just doesn't cut.


Not to mention that we can't jump....


I won't even mention country.


And I appreciate that!! You may get slammed for that comment, but not by me. Years as a funk and jazz musician have honed my attitude that "country music" is an oxymoron like "jumbo shrimp".

It's either music, or it's country.

As far as the dancing thing, Gerry I understand your point of view. The difference is that you know what you are doing and when you dance you don't look like someone in the middle of an epileptic seisure. Far too many do.

And that whole country line dancing thing.... geeze!! It's like watching Hitler's guys in the jack boots doing the goose step. While I think it's cute to see couples in their 70s dressing up like little salt an pepper shakers, matching plaid shirts with the mother of pearl buttons, I fail to see why it's fun to go out and have to do what everybody else is doing.

I was in Dallas once and I went over to Fort Worth and spent an evening in Billy Bob's. I had a great time and saw some REALLY good dancers, but for every one that knew what they were doing there were 25 that looked like they were having a medical emergency. Of course many of them were tourists like me and I guess it factors in that nobody there will every see you again.....

I did let a pretty little cowgirl waltz me around the floor a time or two. She was surprised that being a fat guy I could dance and was light on my feet.

See, I am Slovenian, and it is in the genetic code and the Slovenian rule book that when you hit 7-8 years of age your mother must teach you how to do the polka and the waltz. And you drink either Rolling Rock beer or Kesslers and ginger ale. For medicinal purposes only, of course..... So when the waltzing part of Billy Bob's come up, I was there! And the polka is a modified two step anyway, so I hung right in with 'em!!!
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 44
Why guys don't dance.
Posted: 8/2/2006 1:16:55 PM
Well, here's my input:

1) All it really does for me is get me hot and sweaty. If I want to be that way and get exercise, I'll work out at a gym (or some other, similar activity).

2) Personally, I was never good at it. It didn't help that when I was 21, I had an emergency operation that left me with a pinched (or cut) nerve. The pain finally stopped when I was about 35. I actually had myself x-rayed to make certain that something wasn't left behind by accident from the operation. Attempting to dance after (and some other activities as well) aggravated the pain. It's not a matter of confidence. It's just not enjoyable.

3) I agree with the comment made by someone else: "When and where were we supposed to learn?" Back at my elementary school, there was a "dance" class - but it wasn't couples dancing. It was more like a precursor to performance dance. For half of us in the class, such probably created more of an adversion to the activity than any other result. It was really lame. I consider "line dancing" in the performance category.

OK, so maybe this was supposed to be one of those skills where one learns by example, not in school. How can one learn if there are no examples around?

4) Some people just can't do things without (some idea of) a plan. Alot of what I've observed seems spontaneous or even random (especially when the music hasn't been heard before). Not everyone is wired like that.

5) Does being musically inclined make it easier to dance?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why guys don't dance.