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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > I'll review you. But no crying      Home login  
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 1
I'll review you. But no cryingPage 1 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
There is no crying in profile review, So suck it up.

Most will tell you to lie, I'll just tell you what you don't want to hear.

Because basically, I don't care. It's true.

I don't even know most of you. So trust me.

I care less if your killing humans on your way to work. Or selling them for smokes.

If you want an honest review, Lay it down.
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 2
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 9:45:56 AM
lol, ok Mike, what's your review of mine???

Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 3
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 9:54:09 AM
I'm a big boy, I can take it.

I laugh at most of this anyway.
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 4
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 10:19:18 AM
i'd like a review if you could
 Soul Seductive
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 5
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 12:03:31 PM
Hey review mines to Mike...I have had many compliments on mines..but I can always appreciate good criticism to...
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 6
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 12:30:55 PM
You people are making me sound like the devil. lol

Points for major cojones Oz. Good spelling too.

Well, I'm sure your not suprised about my thoughts on the BBW thing. lol,
Ya know, Your not a big breasted women. Your not even a women!!!
It belongs to the girls and your going to have to give it back. No discussion..........Zip It!!!!!

Drinking thing, Points for honesty. But the way it's set up to view, Works against you. Not your fault.
We have, Do you drink on this side, Here we have 3 Times/week, No worries, Right?
But right next to it on the right, Do you want kids, And here we have yes.
It gives the impression that if i were a women, Everytime you got drunk, You'd try to f@#k me

Cap the O in Ozzyskid, Trust Me!!

The title mixed with 3 times drinking/week, Impresses notions of a tumultuous alcohol fueled roller-coaster ride of restraining orders and hospital bills. Kinda like childhood. lol

Consultant, No wonder you drink so much, I would too if i had to deal with morons all day and wouln't get paid till they catch on. Humans are stupid!! And always seem to let ya down.
but i've digressed. Anyway, Women like a patient man, Just not to patient, Know what i mean my little jellybean shaped friend.

Pics, Oh Goodness. That pic with the blue shirt, Find a volcano and throw that pic in it!!!
That pic makes you look like a surly Rick Moranis on a steady diet of elephant hormones and dinosaur flesh, Shave the stache or grow a goatee, Get contacts.

Middle pic, Makes you look like Sam Kinison, OOOHHHH OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH
Or a pirate. Arrrrrr <<
Tux pic, Why do you look so stuffy? Like someones got a board in your @$$. And that someone is you.
And what do you know, Your leaning again, Just like in blue pic. Your gonna tip over one day and hit your head, Specially with all the drinking, Don't say i didn't warn you!!!

Not bad, Diverse. Take out trucks and shooting. My buddies got a truck,It's cool so what? And shooting, Well need I say it?

About Me,
Get rid of, Well, What do i say here.
Everyone says they don't play games, It's overdone, Specially cause most do.
Though I like Monopoly aswell, Always wanted to play with real cash.

Not sure about long drives on a whim, I'd be to afraid you'd drive off and leave me there.

First Date,
Bad start, Don't really date!! I understand what your saying but, If you think about it, We all date in some form or another. Never say never.
Why can't it start with, It depends on what we would agree on doing, Then roll on with your drunken crazieness

Overall my impression is your an honest man. Probably a good guy too.
Your just limiting yourself in certain ways. Least your honest enough to tell the world your not quite ready, Which is way more backbone then you'll see from most in this life.
Usually people like to deceive as long as they can, Then you realize your married to Satan on pills. I don't think any women would have that problem with you. Your problem may be your to nice and honest. Pleasure to meet ya and good luck
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 7
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:33:39 PM
HOLY CRAP!! Mike, after reading your profile, I am surprised that you are not on more than 3 people's FAVS lists! You are a riot!!! You remind me of Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Caribbean, for some reason.

OF course, this is in NO WAY, SHAPE or FORM and invitation for you to review my profile!! It is fine just the way it is, and needs no adjustments what-so-ever.

peace from the new Florida~
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 8
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 2:36:39 PM
Ok, have at me. Do your worst.

Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 9
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:22:13 PM
Well, To the matter at hand. Alena

Cap heading, HEY!!!!

Props for honesty on social drug use, Stay away from needles and the hard stuff, You'll be alright.

I've always been a sucker for a girl on a couch. Nice smile good pic.
Green tinted half face pic, Very artistic, But you look like your about to take a handfull of pills.
3rd, Hate crooking my neck to look at a picture,RRRrrrrr
Sandy tinted pic, The look on your face is like i stole your M&Ms. I'm looking for a knife in your hand.
Yawning pic, It looks like your about to tell me you have a headache, Ditch it!!
Really like fuzzy picture, 2nd to couch.
Hoody pic, More artsy than anything, Would be a great painting. But still no happiness.

About Me,
We know your age and name already, And if they can't remember from reading that far, You don't want to talk to them.
Already know you like cars and cycles, It's in the interests.

lol, I'm glad to see drinking and driving is popular with the younger generation.
Afterall, How ya gonna get yer car home?

These four sentences come together and make you seem easy.

Will try almost everything once, Though clever wording, Most would use the word, Anything.
Very open minded and love to learn new things.
You'll be up for anything, Maybe a couple examples would be better. Ya know
Whatever date wants to do. HHmmm. What do 18 year old boys like to do, I wonder, Actually that never changes. lol

As far as meeting someone online. I would say spend your time in Kung Fu class.
You've many morons to prepare for. NTM Honey if you want a boy, Go walk up to one and take him. Trust me................Hope this helps ...........mike

@ Tina, What can i do to make you think I'm not evil Put down your book and come see me. lol

@ Dragon, Ty, That reminds me i have to pay my writers. lol
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 10
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:58:53 PM
Mrs. Mad

I gotta tell ya. That must have them flocking.

Most of the men on POF have had their share of angry women. That's why they're here.

They know they messed up something and probably won't lose a keeper again. But to go right into an angry lair. The silliest of sailors will never cross that shore. Silliest I tell ya!!!

Take a xanax, Just do it!!!

Then we have, No letdowns please. I could run with this all day, But i won't, You get my point

I see we're a drinker are we? Maybe you and Oz^^^ Should hook up. You'll see eye to eye on many levels. lol, Couldn't help it.

You are tiny tiny, Nothings on the top shelf in your house. Maybe that's why you're so mad.
Losing all that shelf space.

Cute Pic, Need another

Looking for a well balanced male, What if one leg was shorter??? No go huh! lol

And what's a non oppressive view? If i don't like you eating cookies in bed because of the crumbs, Would you feel oppressed?? Cookies in bed. How dare you!!! lol

No need to note that your attractive, We can see you silly. Well not this second. That would be creepy. Cause you'd be right outside and I wasn't expecting you.

Nobodys likes to be letdown!! No need to put more negativity in there mentioning it.

Lost me for a sec from " I am attracted----To------He would fit the bill " .
Is that finished? Or missing a word.

Erase the T at the end of word laugh.

I'm curious about the secrets known only by the most trustworthy of allies.
Have they helped you move bodies? Cause really, Your just not in the inner circle, Till you've
helped a friend throw some poor shmuck who couldn't shut his mouth in a river. That's why I like to keep my nights free.

Everyone wants someone for their ups and downs but It's not gonna be easy getting one, As high stress as you seem to be.

Negative Nelly, I don't care for the" I Hope " quip in the end. It exudes a defeatist attitude.

First Date,

Well done, Quick to the point and honest.

I hope this helps and good luck

Don't be mad at me. lol

Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 11
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:38:21 AM
Soul Seductive

Good name, Great headline

Don't care for main pic. The blue shirt pic is perfect.
The eye pic makes you look like a giant peeking in a window.

An honest manly job, Unfortunatlely, Their is a poem coming!!! Yea I know!!

Decent, Not to many. Like the slash//in between TV and Movies(Efficient)

About Me,
The Poem, Though good work until one sentence"Kiss your every inch". Hhmm. I'm a sportsmen, So I'm not gonna do it.
In last paragraph, (The) in"The I will always love you" Should be the word That.
Otherwise, Mush mush mushy, Save that stuff for when they keep you. lol
However I must admit, The poetic style is alien to me. And if it works for you.
Disregard all the poem bashing. lol

Though you did say TV show, Wrestling is for boys and is not real. lol
But it does offset the poem. I would've said killing big game or something. lol

First Date is good and believably original

Overall Impression, A decent guy with a good understanding of things. A passionate artist
trapped in a nine to five world. And perhaps a big softy. Just be selective of who you expose
your jugular to..............Good luck ...........mike
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 12
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:45:38 AM
Ohhhhhh this is tooooooooooooo tempting.... *waves hand wildly at back of the class* DO ME DO ME
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 13
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:36:50 AM
Got to work. No time for love Dr. Jones

Will finish you two after work

@ Chaos, Your gonna make me do this aren't ya? lol
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 14
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 12:23:51 PM
But of course Just don't make me
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 15
view profile
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 12:27:08 PM
K take a crack at mine...
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 16
view profile
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:38:13 PM
Being so new at all of this, I'd be happy for some input.
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:30:34 PM
Mike - love your reviews. Let me know what you think.
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 18
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:52:13 PM
Hey sure review mine please!
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 19
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 9:09:48 PM

Is seems like just yesterday, He was Blueboy. My, How they grow!!

Another Leo, perhaps 2nd only to scorps in this pond

Pic 1, Good pic,But makes you look a little heavy in the jowel area.
Pic 2, Good pic, Good smile, Burn the shirt!!!

Perfect amount, Diverse, Physics looks a little out of place. But hey, It's your interests

About Me,
The idea of your job satisfying you physically, Makes you sound like a gigolo.

Throw ""laughter is important in life"" Somewhere in first paragraph, Destroy rest of sentence.
Even if you can't tell jokes. Don't tell them that!!
Though i am curious, How you make them laugh? Funny costumes?
Do you carry a prop trunk, Like Carrot Top? Is it heavy? lol

I would take out sentence starting with"" Music is a big part"".
If you love it that much, Pick up a guitar or something!

The riding bike part was fine, But then 5 year old is introduced again.
Made me think who's watching the kid? lol
Don't tell people you let your kid pick under anything on the beach. If he loses a digit, They'll blame you!! lol

Take out part about making a mess in the kitchen.
The delivery makes it seem like you want them to do the dishes. Screw that, I'm not doin em!

Last line is kinda funny.

First Date,
Good till Acme Food Co. Is that a joke or a real restaurant?
None of any of the products the coyote got worked and I certainly would not eat the food.
Hike up a mountain, Just don't sound friendly or believable, Go hiking sounds nicer.

I'm a skeptic, So to me, The first date looks like this.
Your gonna poison me with Acme food products. Then before that takes effect, You'll push me of a mountain then throw me in Neck Point with cement slippers.

I'm watching you like a hawk. lol
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 20
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 9:42:25 PM
Thanks, that shirt has been burned, it is an older pic. New pics are coming soon I just have a few more pounds to lose (lost 35 so far. No more jowls). Being horrible at telling jokes was supposed to be a joke, I guess it wasn't that funny. When I go for a bike ride I make my son run behind me. OK another bad joke. I do need someone to do my dishes. Not a joke, I hate doing dishes. Acme Food company is one of the better (and my favourite) restaurants in my city. Perhaps the hike up a mountain part is going a little far, but I am training to hike the West Coast Trail next summer. It is a week long hike along the west coast of Vancouver Island.
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 21
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/15/2006 10:33:32 PM
Mike, do mine...please review my profile...I am so new to this, I need your advice...I can take it...thanks in advance...SanditeLady
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 22
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:24:09 AM
Little Mrs. Kaos

Good spelling

Shame on you for changing your pic in the middle of my review. Love the new one though.

The name itself, Loaded with intrigue and a sea of variables. Name and pic together alone give a Penelope Cruz in Blow type feel. lol

Not a dating type headline lol .....At all!!
Course this is not a dating type women(You'll see).
I try not to use others quotes as much as i can.
Plus I try not to bring God around.
Well, He never has any money, And that trick doesn't work with whiskey. lol

I'm curious as h$%l myself!! Why don't YOU ask her?? lol. More than 5% of me believes her though.
Probably best to realize, It's not your business.

Hhmm, At 39,
Your gonna have your babies and forget all about me, Thus, Me not getting my much needed attention. lol Though we'll see how it rounds off in the end. It would appear my work is cut out for me on this one.

First screen impression,
Some profiles have them, Some don't. When you look at this one, It's important to realize, Further reading through profile is more than required.
You prematurely mail this one, She may hurt you with Hannibal Lector type smarts.

For what we have here is no garden variety type lass.
Rumor has it, She's only been captured by three photos, In the world.

Definetly have the eye of a fashionista. Always sexy, Mysterious, Artistic, Leave ya wanting more.

No rate on pic,
Tells me even more.
If your a stranger, Her keyboard cares more of what you think then she does!!

Excellent mix, Bad girl stuff mmm,
Law Enforcement, Red Flag Red Flag!!!For any Mary Jane lovers, This one will not put ice in your bong for you!!!***Hides Smoke***
Me too, My favorite film is When Godzilla meets Bambi.
All I know is I'd kill 4 men to see em. lol

About me,
Like the bullet from a trained killers high powered rifle, FORUMS ONLY
HHmmm. I'd rather you were a lesbian, Least then I could talk you into lunch. lol
However, I don't think she's kidding!!

Then we read on, Wow,
I could comment on each line,But it'd only seem like you paid me.
I'll try to sum it up with, Thought provoking. Gives the impressions of, Strong virtues and world knowledge. More advice then I care for, But all good.

Then we have bold letters that give more of an impression of a women who is way to good.
Next impression? She is!!

Did find one thing humorous though, If Nature and Peace are your Shelter and Companion
Does that make you homeless on your laptop, Like me?

The streets respect me thing has a Jenny from the block type of feel, Followed by advice and one more note of advice, D@^m women, Your like a neverending fortune cookie. lol

First Date,
Lighter hearted quips, Then ya drag God around again. What'd I tell you?? lol

Mail Settings,
Well, Look further down little campers. Room for long-term.Hhmm, Perhaps a mistake.
Irony would permit, But I doubt it!!!! Hope for one?? Perhaps??

Overall Impression,
An intelligent, Guarded, Mannerly, Strong, Stubborn, Trustworthy, Sexy, Mysterious, Fit,
women. Who you better have your ducks in a row with.
Most women say they won't deal with cheats and liars.This one's not messing about.
I know few men if any, Who can match this womens needs. Lots of mixed messages though.

And few holes to poke fun of, This profile has like Mike armor.

A riddle rolled in a mystery wrapped in an enigma, That's you babydoll.

@ Blue Thanks for the thanks
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 23
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:44:59 AM
Mike That din't hurt nearly as much as I expected. Thanks Luv. Now... can you fetch me a cold beer??

Smart man this Mike, 'cept for his choice of location. You know what they say, "location, location, location"....

I'm not though, so, it's all good.
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 24
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:13:10 AM
It's Friday night!!! And I'M Having fun kids.

I Swear, I will get to you.

Be patient, Case you haven't noticed. My reviews are more like a critique, And they take more time and thought.

I will rush nothing, That needs not be rushed.

Lushious, Your first and then on down the line I go !!!

My word is all I have, Yet the most I have,

To give you!!!

Give me 24 or 36 hours to get the rest of you.

You would not believe the expression of the girl I'm with, When I told her, I had a responsibility to you people. And I think It's fun.

Yea! I know!!! She won't last long, Considering how selfless she appears to be already.
Luckily she can't read!! So she don't know what I'm typing.

Remember what uncle Mike says kids!!! If they treat your server like dirt, In a restaurant, That's how they'll treat you in three weeks!!!! Believe It!!!!

Sorry for any delay..............Mike

@ Chaos, No No No My little Peach, You get Me a beer, And a shot.
Your Jedi mind tricks will not work against me !!!!!
While I'm up, What kind you want??? ....................D@^m you !!!!
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 25
I'll review you. But no crying
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:13:31 AM

Sorry, Alien keyboard, Double posted. lol

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