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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???      Home login  
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 eaudeparfum
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 1
What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
i have heard this a few times in my life. What always makes me laugh is how "slow" doesn"t figure into the equation when it comes to sex...

So guys: What does "taking it slow" mean to you?
 will_nevergiveup
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 2
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:15:34 PM
Taking it slow = I'll "do" you but don't expect me to commit in ANY way.

It's one notch below "friends with benefits"
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 3
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:20:09 PM
If a guy wants to take it slow, but still wants sex... it means he thinks that you're good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to try for a relationship.

Friends with benefits kinda thing.

Otherwise known as he's an ass and you should drop him quick.
 kap10cavy1963
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 4
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:25:48 PM
Take things slow, means my zipper is stuck.
 optimistichappylady
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 5
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:43:18 PM
I agree with you duck_squat. Everyone's definition is different. Just as everyone has a different interpretation of "friends with benefits". I know I am opening myself up to be slammed but.....why are "friends with benefits" considered so low on everyone's relationship scale. From the prior posts I get the feeling you all believe the situation arises because the person is there and because you can't find anyone. I totally disagree. A "friend with benefits" situation is not something you jump into haphazardly like a one night stand or a quick fling....well at least I don't. There is a mutual understanding and a bond that I don't have with everybody. Mutually satisfying each others needs and desires without any strings is very refreshing. To know the person is there for me emotionally and physically without pushing for more is great. Because neither one of us is ready for a commitment I see nothing wrong with it.

The female version of "taking it slow" for me was----->>>YOU ARE SUFFOCATING ME!!! Back off a bit...

Just my two cents worth.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 6
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:45:29 PM
If someone wants to take it slow, in all regards, sex included... then that's understandable.
Usually they've been hurt before, and just want to be careful.

But when they want to take it slow as far as commitment... but still want sex...
Then they're not someone to bother with.
 browneyedcornflakekiller
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 7
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:51:06 PM
As someone else has already said it means different things to different people. Yes, often times it's just a smoke screen. The garbage that flows out of a guys mouth to make her think "He's different". -Only to be dispelled when he tries the de-panty maneuver by the third date.

Some men say it and mean it though and the words are to be taken at face value. But those who say it and mean usually find out that most chicks are just like most guys. They want sex and they don't want to wait for it
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 8
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:56:15 PM
Men want to get to know us like we want to get to know them...
They really do have hearts that have been wounded...somewhere, deep inside where we can't find them LOL jk guys!
But there are those that use it as a way from committing...
 Couplelooking4fun
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 9
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:59:36 PM
Take things slow means I like you but I dont want you hanging around me every second because I have a life of my own. You have to tell some women to take it slow because if you dont then they will hang around you so much you will think they are a part of your body. Taking it slow doesnt mean I just want you for sex though. It means just that take it slow and lets see where this goes.
 LolaShy
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 10
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:06:23 PM
Does it not mean--"He wants to get to know you"? All of you? That he won't sleep with everything that walks? Oh my--I think I've been out of the dating scene too long, if this statement means something different.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 11
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:10:42 PM

Take things slow means I like you but I dont want you hanging around me every second because I have a life of my own. You have to tell some women to take it slow because if you dont then they will hang around you so much you will think they are a part of your body. Taking it slow doesnt mean I just want you for sex though. It means just that take it slow and lets see where this goes.


Ah, a kindred soul. Slow means, lets get to know each other, I'm not looking for sex and we're not going there unless I think its going to work between us.

.. and then we meet and after the first date she's talking about marriage, or calling/emailing me 10x a day, or whatever.. and I go "whoa horsie!" and back way off. Not my definition of "slow"...
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 12
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:20:46 PM
For those men that have answered that take it slow should include no sex until you think things are going to go somewhere, my hat is off to you. However, I have found most men that say take it slow are not nearly as willing to wait for sex. I feel it's their way of getting what they want without "lying" because they don't want a commitment.
 Bryantinfl
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 13
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:31:59 PM

If a guy wants to take it slow, but still wants sex... it means he thinks that you're good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to try for a relationship.

Friends with benefits kinda thing.

Otherwise known as he's an ass and you should drop him quick.


OH MY GOD!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!!!

That is exactly what I have always believed and was seconds away from typing it here when I read your comment. It's like you were reading my thoughts.

WAY too weird. But validating. Thanks.
 tinum
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 14
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:47:59 PM
there is slow and there is slow. I can't really say about me coz seldom I think I have had to say this. if I am with someone its because I like her, going slow or fast is not even an issue, its going the way its supposed to go, the speed should be natural on both sides. I have met women who told me that they wanted to take it slow. I have no problem with that. where i have a problem is their sense of going slow means seing me twice a month or maybe 5 to 6 hours a month. how the hell she ever going to get to know me that way? its going to take like 5 years before you get to know what the other person's favorite meal is.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 15
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:52:59 PM
If a guy wants to take it slow, but still wants sex... it means he thinks that you're good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to try for a relationship.
===================================

Not quite, or more accurrately not enough.

Here's a little list of several things that men may want to take slow.

Note that these are all "things". And you can take as many, or as few "things" from this list as you wish.

- sex
- dating
- relationship
- co habitation
- marriage
- meeting your relatives

now let me ask a question. Why is it that the sex is the only thing that the girls want to take slow. Crikey! Even when they're married they are still rusing into the divorce.
 cartographer
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 16
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 6:44:01 PM
Who says sex doesn't figure into the equation of slow? I guess only people who want sex and to be over with it. My goodness, I may be a virgin because I insist sex come later. Why? Tell me, would you really have sex with a person you think you might not know in a couple weeks, a couple months, or a couple years? What if of all things that happens you got her pregnant on the first try? Anything is possible. Then nine months down the road, the relationship is broken, who is going to take care of the child if she can't find another man? I would never want to put that imposition on a lady. We'd better get to know each other well, and then decide OK, it seems that the relationship is going to build to an engagement and a marriage eventually, let's not wait for sex, or wait for it until we are married. If we discovered pregnancy happened, I'd be happy to walk in the court house that day and call ourselves married, and worry about a wedding till much later if that's what she wanted. But honestly, one really has to build a bond of mutual trust before going overboard with sex and other things could require a longer term relationship. At least that has always been my belief. Others may disagree, and they are welcome to. So yes, I'm happy to wait on sex till the day we are comfortable to have it and have no qualms about where the relationship is going.
 windsong
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 17
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:29:31 PM
When a man says "he wants to take things slow" MEANS(I'll just make her think that SEX isn't my Priority) But really it is....How stupid do you think we are Guys?
 cartographer
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 18
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:32:05 PM

it's a warning sign that he's about to dump you


Of all the crazy ideas. It is no warning sign by my book. Taking it slow means you don't want things to be rushed. Taking it slow means you want to explore all the different angles of the relationship, and let it build. If you don't build a solid foundation, the whole relationship could fall down with a puff of wind. I don't like the idea of building a relationship like a house of cards. Do you rush build a home? Do you rush make a movie with nothing but props and no characters for casts and no practicing of lines? Anything which you want to last a long time, needs time to build. You try and make a one night stand into a marriage, you've got problems.

If I don't get to know the person well enough, I may never find out if there is some deep secret that I should know. I'm glad that with each relationship I've had that didn't work out I learned why it didn't work out.
Had I rushed it, I might not have had a clue, and would be making the same mistake over and over again.

Taking it slow means you are not taking huge risks without weighing them against the benefits. All good systems need time to build. That includes marriages.

A warning sign...wow, are you impatient?
 cartographer
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 19
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:42:38 PM
windsong,
No one is saying someone is stupid. There are men out there like myself, who take time to judge character. Once we have, then we are ready to move into new things. The more time we take, the less chance one is hastily judged, and given prejudiced labels, and the greater a chance you'll see the person for who they are inside. Sex is not a priority unless I know I won't regret it later for having it. The main thing that would make me regret it is someone decides to leave me permanently after it. The other would be discovering she had many sex partners before and has no idea if any of them had sexually transmitted diseases and was dishonest with me about it and I discovered I caught something which could only be transmitted sexually.

If she decided to have sex with another man while I was with her, I'd also think her too insecure to persist with the relationship as one that might lead to a sexual relationship.
So yes, I'd take it slow in terms of getting it to sex. Reasonable doubt does not come overnight. But it doesn't have to take more than a year. I'd probably grow impatient by then.
 redhairedbeauty1
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 20
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:48:00 PM
the phrase "take it slow" can mean a few things. If your not looking to take things slow then dont waste your time with men who use that line on you.
do they say this to you after sex?
 lucky7innc
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 21
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:48:37 PM
he's just not that into you
 ManitobaGrrl
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 22
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:39:41 PM
I hate that......like of course people shouldnt move in together or get married right away, too soon, but you cant stop yourself from falling in love and thus wanting commiutment
 bigw13
Joined: 1/1/2005
Msg: 23
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 10:05:41 PM
Getting to know the other person in good times and bad over time is the way I want to go. Sex may or may not be part of it. Before I risk getting hurt by caring too deeply about someone who may not be who I think they are I want to learn about who they really are not the front people put up in the beginning. Ok a bit of a run on sentence.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 24
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 6:10:35 AM
That he's happy with satisfying himself and he doesn't want you to come between he and his hand!
 johnnygage
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 25
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:05:42 AM
It means i wanna see how you are in the sack first before i make up my mind
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???