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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these te      Home login  
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 stoneside
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 3
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these termsPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well, I'm a guy so to me they mean

Friends = Casual sex
E-mail/Talk= Talking about sex THEN having casual sex
Dating = Going dancing then having sex
Long Term = Not getting any more sex.

I find most people just ignore the "looking for" section. The terms are very general and depend on the person as to what they really mean. The way I look at it. Talk to a person, learn about them. Much better than judging somebody by a term.
 outandabout
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 7
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dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2006 10:28:33 AM
I believe that dating is how it all starts and can work into long-term if things click for the two of you. You have to start somewhere are my thoughts.
People online and in person can be totally two different individuals. So take it slow and easy and see how it goes.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 14
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2006 2:30:24 PM

Friends = Casual sex
E-mail/Talk= Talking about sex THEN having casual sex
Dating = Going dancing then having sex
Long Term = Not getting any more sex.

Hang-out = casual sex with you and all your friends
Activity-partner = Casual sex with the neighborhood.
Short-Term = sex within 5 minutes
Other Relationship = sex after you pay me.
Photo Exchange = sex without touching.

No wonder our society is going down the crapper. However, Dr. Freud would be happy.

Sad to say, but I've really seen HO, AP, ST, and OR be used in to mean the same as IE has on here, especially after reading several profiles. I've also seen them used in the way they've meant to be. Technically, even IE can mean a romantic dinner in some dark restaurant, etc., not just sex. Maybe there should be another category added: "Just sex."

Then, there's also the confusing ones: There are some profiles (I've seen about 10) where ladies are in their underwear lying on a bed (or a "cleavage shot") claiming "sex" among their interests, yet include the filters "not looking for IE" or "not looking for those who messaged those looking for IE." I don't understand their profile message - the photos and interests say "yes" yet their choice of filters say "no." Are they just psycho teases?
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 15
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2006 4:04:45 PM
OP, since what I'm looking for is long-term, that's what I use on here. Saying long-term doesn't mean I want or expect that to happen right off the bat, but that's what I eventually want - a long-term relationship with someone. I'm not looking for talk/email - that smacks of cybering to me; dating sounds like I simply want to date a number of people - which is not true; friends is a useless term for me as 1) I would hope anyone who became long-term was a friend first, and 2) typically anyone I talk with on here is a friend from the forum, or someone sending me a nice comment about a post, and if they're not female then they're males where we don't have any interest in meeting and for more reasons than because they don't live locally. I've actually only emailed/talked with one local person that I'd be interested in meeting and that's only just happened very recently. If we do meet, great; if not, then it wasn't meant to happen.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 17
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2006 5:37:53 PM
My goodness....how funny! I suppose I tend to be a "literalist." What it says, it what it is:

email/talk: email, talk
friends: nothing more than being buddies (and not f***buddies)
dating: going on dates
long term: looking for a relationship

Is this really that complicated? Mine says email/talk. That's what I'm looking for. I'm not looking to date, I'm not looking to make real-time friends, I'm definitely NOT looking for a relationship. Why is this so confusing??? Maybe the bottom line is that people lie. If they are stating one thing, and secretly wanting something else ~ that would make me think twice about being anything with that person ~ it's never a good idea to begin something with a lie.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 25
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:09:29 PM
Ketevan:
if anything i think the intimate encounter one is where u ask for sex

That's what I thought too - and the way things are supposed to be set up around here, but it appears that for some, the practice is different (as noted in my prior response in this thread). That's too bad: Another place on the Internet soon to be overrun by the bad elements of society....
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 34
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dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2011 8:48:39 AM

They over inundated this site with WAY too many categories, some of which I don't think should belong.


A good while back (12 months or more), someone (I think abelian?) did a rather good explanation of this topic. I'll see if I can summarize it for you here.

The owner of this site is out to make money. He does this by selling ads. The more people on this site, the more money he makes for the ads that are displayed. So the owner is trying to maximize the participation here, and to do that, he caters to women. If women are here, then men will follow. Period.

Men usually don't do "blocks", or, more specifically, the average man on this site has no "blocks" on his email. The average woman probably has several blocks (age, distance, what you're seeking (dating versus long term), never emailed for "intimate encounter", etc). So the categories are there because women want them (or Marcus thinks they do), and no one cares what we men think.

Marcus knows da*n well if the women are here, we men will be here pursuing them. It's the same logic behind why night clubs have "Ladies Night", where the ladies get free drinks and the club owner gets rich from the men who come to pursue the women.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 37
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dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2011 1:05:43 PM
I thought for sure that "Hanging out," simply meant "trouser zipper broken, can't afford to repair."


Guess I'm boned.


All in all, I'd support the OP's definitions. When I'm looking, I actually read the whole profile FIRST to try to decipher what the heck they might mean with the other settings. But that's because I'm so damn lazy (why craft a note to someone who specifies in the details that she already thinks you're a scuzz?).

So MANY women DO explain what they really mean, that I don't need my calculator to figure it out.
 blueskies_smilinatme
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 38
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dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2011 1:28:31 PM
"Friends. Just wants to talk about life and hang out. Friendship implies a commitment, but no romance. You can be friends with your best friend's grandmother." ~ barleyboy

"Friends...I mean Friends. Just looking for people to be friends, shoot the shit, share the day, go out to movies, take in Wonderland, get a bite to eat, go for a drive...WITHOUT the possibility of hitting on/being hit on by Friend." ~ Beautiful Deviant

"friends: nothing more than being buddies (and not f***buddies)" ~ verygreeneyez

Ahh that explains it so well! I don't get why so many people assume "friends" mean 'friends with benefits'. That's not something I believe in on a personal level and not something I do. But my profile is listed as "friends" as I am trying to expand my friend circle. I'm not closed off to a possible relationship, as I've stated in my profile but my main goal is just finding like-minded people to become friends with.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 40
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2011 1:56:36 PM

I thought for sure that "Hanging out," simply meant "trouser zipper broken, can't afford to repair."


lol..good one Igor.

My profile says "friends" because... I'm looking for friends. It does NOT mean I'm looking for a hook-up. People make so many ridiculous assumptions.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 42
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dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 6/23/2011 9:36:27 PM
The first part of this one, posted 6/23/06 is more what I've found. For a brief - very brief - time, I put Talk/Email on my profile, since I'd come to the conclusion that was the best I'd get where I lived then. I was inundated with requests to chat naked via webcam (give me a break, I wouldn't have done that 40 years ago, and who in their right mind wants to look at a 60-something naked woman?), phone numbers to call because they wanted me to talk dirty to them - ad nauseum. One man I'd been in contact with for quite awhile also had asthma, and one afternoon he started wheezing in the middle of a conversation. I asked if he needed to take a break and use his inhaler, and he said no, he just liked the sound of my voice and was jacking off. That was our last conversation, btw.


Well, I'm a guy so to me they mean

Friends = Casual sex
E-mail/Talk= Talking about sex THEN having casual sex
Dating = Going dancing then having sex
Long Term = Not getting any more sex.

I find most people just ignore the "looking for" section. The terms are very general and depend on the person as to what they really mean. The way I look at it. Talk to a person, learn about them. Much better than judging somebody by a term.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 44
dating; friends; talk/email; long-term ....perceptions of these terms
Posted: 7/9/2011 10:21:25 AM
I don't even pay attention to that part of the looking for section tbh. its too vague and it can mean different things to different people. I'm not even sure what mine is set at right now...
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