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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness      Home login  
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 Funme40
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 5
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's WitnessPage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
As long as you're ok spending every weekends home alone while he's ignoing people going door to door....
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 15
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:06:49 AM
Run, Forrest.....Run!!!!! ha ha!

Whoa! You allready know this ain't gonna work. And, from what I've read here, this guy is basically flakey and indecisive..... and seems to be some kind of a wishy washy follower. You would outgrow him, and tire of him very quickly aftter the initial attraction you are feeling wears off. The Witnesses seem to be pleasant enough folk. They come around a few times a year even way out at my rural location..... but there is something very 'cultish' about them, I aggree. I'm personally not into any faith which so aggressively "promotes" itself.

I am digressing. This is a Big deal. A deal breaker in relationships. Use your good sense and "Pick" someone whome you like.....'just as they are'. None of us should ever go into a relationship thinking..... well, we can shape them up later!!! Wrong, doesn't work. Won't work...Never has worked! ha!
 DeeLiteFul
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 27
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:36:33 PM
I wouldn't date any I think some not saying ALL disrespect ppl I had ppl come knocking on my door and I tell them nicely that Im not interested they do say sorry but they come the next week same ppl same time I don't answer door but my daughter keeps yelling mommy the door lol... well been happening so much that I wrote a small letter saying Im not interested in Jehovah witness can u please respect me and stop knocking on my door ... I put it up on my door and they once again knocked I said did u read this .... my Super came up to talk to me and she asked me if they are harrassing me and I told her the story .. When they came the next week the super told them to stop harrassing the tenents if they say they not interested then leave them alone.... well I had the letter on for a month and Just took it down and they stoped knocking... BUT they keep knocking at my friends house all the time.
 mometal77
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 28
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah''s Witness
Posted: 7/4/2006 12:09:37 AM
Jehovah witnesses believe that the more your persecute them the more rights they have too go too heaven in a nutshell it is a cult just like the mormon belief i could go on and on. A friend just got married too a JW and her whole family wouldnt talk to her until she was married. She lived with him and had sex before marriage a lot of religions shun this but they out right wouldnt even talk talk lol. Knew a girl that got pregant single mom and was banned from the church for this. They persecute there own and its funny really out of all the religions out there this one is the most dumbfounded out there. Just think of it this way you get married too him your views and children will be forced into this cult. And with them coming too the door come naked scare the crap out of them.. have too have humour on this one..
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 29
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah''s Witness
Posted: 7/4/2006 12:26:50 AM
Just be very, very careful. It is as everyone has said. I am not a JW, nor have ever been one, but I have had dealings with several through the years. It could come back to bite you in many ways. If they are right into it (and most are) they OWN the person and their choices and desires. They have a basic freedom of choice, to an extent.....but they are owned. Very much against the grain of any other religion. Closer to the Mormans way of doing things, but on a much grander and ownership scale. Just be very careful .. they skirt the laws of the country ... barely and throw reasonable ethics and morality aside for the strength of their convictions. It has very little to do with religion and more to do with control and ownership. Even cult is a somewhat weak word to use. At least a cult can be picked apart legally, eventually .. JWs are pretty savvy in the legals and are more of an ownership of you mentality. The better you do ... the more you accomplish for them . the more you get to share in the directing of others lives ..... just be very, very careful.
 Pyro74
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 33
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Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:41:21 PM
I'm sorry to say this, But you should get out now. Down the road, he will try to convert you. He's not pressuring you right now because the relationship is so new. Trust me, if your not religious, then you shouldn't get involved with someone who is, or even worse, thinks they are. I am very non-religious, but I respect all people's beliefs as long as they don't try to force them on other people. JW's are notorious for meddling in their followers private affairs. They will pressure him to make you come to services or their kingdom hall or whatever it is. If he is truly devout, he will not change, but in turn will try to change you. This will only lead to problems. I know it will suck, but you should end it now.
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 49
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/1/2006 11:01:25 PM
I don't even have to read everyone's replies.

i was a JW until I was 17. The past 18 years I don't really have a religion.

But I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt. If he is even remotely interested in you, (as in you not being a fellow JW) then his faith is weak. I'm not saying JWs program people, but it is a very strict faith. They do not believe in casual dating AT ALL. You only date if you are ready to be married. And sure as HELL it has to be another JW. in fact he will most likely be kicked out of the faith if his relationship with you is discovered. So be warned, he will want to keep it private. He will very rarely go out in public with you. And if he does get caught out with you, he is going to tell them you are a friend or relative. Even if he says friend you will see him get 'a look'.

So there is two ways this can go. He is thinking of leaving the Witnesses. If this happens, everything is fine. But he most likely is a virgin so you may have problems with that. He won't be very open minded sexually. Not at first. However he will treat you very, very well as the Witnesses teach 'honor your wife'. On the other hand they also believe the man is the head of the household and as such he will expect to make most decisions. (the women in the faith believe this also and 'look up' to their husbands). But like I said they treat the women well and he will listen to you and your concerns and will usually do whatever you want to do as far as plans go.

The other way this can go is, after a while he will feel guilty for seeing you and run back to the JW's leaving you behind. Don't be mad at him either. he's probably been in the JWs for a long time and is feeling a little rebellious or something. I promise you he is not a player or trying to toy with you. He is conflicted. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum either. he most likely has a LOT of close personal friends in the faith and will easily choose them if made to choose.

All you can do is maybe ask him if he plans to stay a JW or not. If you get a yes, just move on.
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 50
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/1/2006 11:37:37 PM
Ok I went back and read some replies. Tabbie you know damn well Witnesses don't teach burning in a lake of fire. In fact that is the biggest difference between Witnesses and other faiths, witnesses don't believe in Hell at all. From dust you are, to dust you will return. REMEMBER? Your soul doesn't live on, is what they teach.

Talking you out of property? It is possible that that particular congregation was far out of touch with Bethel (headquarters in NY). I can assure you if Bethel knew what was going on they would have shut that Kingdom Hall down. They've done it before when elders start taking things into their own hands. The people in the congregation become disillusioned. That is why they have CO (circuit overseers) and DO (district overseers) who come thru once a year or so to check up on the elders and the health of the congregation. If they are not following the teachings from NY, there is a lot of housecleaning done. People disfellowshipped who should have been a long time ago, but 'crooked' elders weren't doing anything about it. Elders removed. new elders installed. So I guess it is possible they were trying to get property BUT IT IS NOT A WITNESS TEACHING. They were doing it as unsavory people, not as Witnesses.

We were poor also growing up. But we got our clothes from family members. Witnesses would come over and help take care of the house (my mom was raising us on her own). Fix her car for free. never saw a pity attitude. I remember a MS (ministerial servent) coming over one day and saying 'i want you to write me a list of everything the house needs, everything.' She wrote out a list and a group of men came over and got the house in shape. They wouldn't take money so my mom had them all over for dinner one time. That's how it works with them.

And you know one of the big things I admire them for is the donation process. They frown on 'a showy display of one's means of life' meaning if you are rich, don't brag. So they don't pass a collection plate where you can drop a $50 on the plate with 20 people watching you and feeling smug. They put a box way in the back of the hall. So if you make a donation, no one knows and they certainly don't know how much. That makes donations TRULY voluntary, no guilting you into it by sticking a plate in your face with everyone watching. In fact they usually have two boxes. One for local donations and one for NY. And they were both overflowing all the time, even though you never saw who filled them.

What else did you guys say....oh their morals and ethics are screwed up? No sex before marriage, chaperones on a date, studying the bible, "obeying the rules of man" which means following all local and federal laws, treating your so and parents and kids with respect and honor. YEAH. That sure is some MESSED UP MORALS!

I know the no blood transfusion issue is a big deal to people. But when you see how transfusions don't necessarily save lives, and in fact the red cross discovered they had a ton of tainted blood a few years ago, it's not such a bad idea. The witnesses believe in it due to a bible teaching that blood is unclean once it leaves the body and cannot be allowed back in. But when it comes to science it actually can save lives. They do allow non blood fluids to be put in like plasma to replace lost blood.

Anyway, some of you are really misled and before you spew your crap, read up on it. That's why you don't see me say a WORD about mormons or baptists or any other religion. I don't know anything about them, which means I don't have the right to GUESS and make myself look like a fool on the internet like some of you did.
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 53
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 10/3/2006 3:10:34 AM
attendance is compulsory? My brother is still a witness, but only goes to a meeting maybe once a month. all they say is 'we miss you at the meetings, how are the kids' THATS IT.

He is now referred to as 'inactive' which actually doesnt mean anything. hasnt gone door to door in YEARS.

man some of the crap you guys talk is just unbelievable.

Oh i just wanted to say about the 3 day Hall thing. I was about 14 when we sold our Hall to the city to be turned into a DMV (ha, from church to hell!). The only thing already done was the cement slab. I forget how many were there. Lots and lots of RVs and campers for people who drive up from far away. A huge tent that always had warm food, you could eat any time you wanted. It's amazing how fast it goes up. If you are not a qualified professional, you can help out in other ways. They don't have some slob who thinks he's Joe Electrician, wiring it up. All are witnesses. you dont see fighting, arguing, gettting drunk. They throw that building up in a little less than 3 days. That is water running, wall painted, carpet laid, lights on, roof finished. you can go right in and use the bathroom. All thats usually left is some trim work, and paving the parking lot.

If I remember, I did a lot of walking around checking out the girls from nearby Kingdom Halls lol.
 LoyalLadyD
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 64
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/5/2006 4:10:44 PM
pandora.......save yourself alot of heartache and pain.take it from someone who has been there.I too got involved with a disfellowshipped jw.anytime I brought up religion he didn't want to talk about it so I assumed it wasn't an issue and we fell in love and after about 8 years into the relationship (we lived together at the time) he decided he wanted to be accepted back and his family arranged for me to do a bible study and the more I studied with them the more I realized it was not for me and thats when all my heartache started. He turned against me and kept telling me if I didn't go to the church it was not going to work for us (the relationship).he started drinking heavily and threw me out, after 7 monthes of being apart he begged me back, he told me nothing will ever come between us again. two weeks after I went back he started fighting with me about it again.He would go days without speaking to me to teach me a lesson.I realized that his parents and daughter who were jw and were putting the pressure on him to go back . they were shunning him and making his life a living hell and he knew it wouldn,t work with us if I didn't become a jw so he made my life a living hell.I have been back and forth in his life for the last 3 years and I have finally left for good and its not easy. I need councilling now be cause of it all .I'm very damaged by it all and he is still trying to call me and comming to my door begging me back but why ??????????Don't put yourself through the pain.I have lost 12 years that I will never get back.If I can save one person from the pain then at least something good came out of it. lots of luck to you and God bless you
 LoyalLadyD
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 65
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/7/2006 8:03:55 AM
y
I've been there, I know. you people are homewreckers,.................I notice the only people defending jw's are jw's.
 vnillamousse
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 73
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 6:00:15 PM
I was married to one of these for 13 years...doesn't work...spiritually anyway. You can never convince each other of your respective beliefs. Not worth it when kids are involved either. Just the voice of experience here....

Vnilla
 vnillamousse
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 78
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 7:59:47 PM
Benadina

PULEASE

Hardly anyone bashed the JW's here and of course there's always "one" in the crowd. YOU

I'd say you need to go back to whatever "book" you study and learn what respect and tolerance means...spiritually.

Vnilla
 vnillamousse
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 82
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:19:26 PM
Bern

No you're sin is badmouthing your own faith.

Vnilla
 vnillamousse
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 85
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:48:08 PM
Bern...ya I do. Not all of can as hyper-intelligent as you...I feel SO inferior...
 vnillamousse
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 86
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:50:38 PM
And JUST for the record...the MOST notorious child molester of all time...Michael Jackson was a JW....makes you wonder...JW's just haven't been caught...yet!
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 88
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:20:15 PM
Well, my advice is run like hell.. was one for over 40 years.. but then I would say run like hell from any religion lol..... I researched them all.. finally lol.. they are all false!!

Want to know all about JW's? Here is a site that will tell you what you want to know.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/default.ashx

LOTS of information here.. even from ones who knew JW's and were one... is WRONG...

EX: being disfellowshipped for your kids associating with "worldly kids" BUNK.. Something else she did caused that....

I "drifted" away.. but knew that organization inside out.. always knew something was wrong.. but until I left.. didnt know the half of it..


Best wishes.. and happy fishing everyone here!

Linda
 vnillamousse
Joined: 10/4/2004
Msg: 90
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:13:45 PM
Linda

"always knew something was wrong.. but until I left.. didnt know the half of it.."

Thank you!

I knew somebody here would "get it"...

Vnilla
 madskillz99
Joined: 2/19/2005
Msg: 91
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:31:33 PM
No disrespect, but any religion that has predicted the end of the world like 170 times and each time was wrong is not worth its salt.
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 94
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/10/2006 1:49:34 AM
Just because MJ claimed to be a Witness sure as hell doesn't make him one.

I remember a reporter or someone asking him about a piece of jewelry he carried around. He said something about symbolism and credited the Witnesses.

Unfortunately for him, Witnesses do not believe in attaching symoblism to ANY object. You will never see a statue of Jesus or prayer beads or a cross or anything of that sort in a true Witness home.

As soon as he spouted that line of bull I knew there was no JW congregation in the world where he was a regular.

I could say I'm an Astronaut but that doesn't make me one.
 LoyalLadyD
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 101
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 11/18/2006 5:37:59 PM
BeachBunnie...................Get involved with one and you will change your tune real fast
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 114
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 6/3/2007 7:47:47 PM
If you are dating someone with the idea they will conform.
or change in anyway,
you sit your self up for heartache.
 1LovingSpirit
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 118
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:14:24 AM
Hello Pandora33,

Jehovah's Witnesses are a fundamentalist Christian religion whose adherents take most of the Bible literally. They are well versed in the Bible, even producing a Bible that reflects their use of Jehovah as God's name. Most are very involved in their faith, in fact, it would be truthful to say that their faith is their life. They attend five meetings a week, three conventions a year, and are requested that they go door to door to maintain an active "theocratic" status in the congregation that they attend. They are devout people that truly believe they are serving God according to their "Truth." Since, I personally support any path that helps someone connect to Source, i.e., the Higher Power, many times referred to God I will not pay disrespect to them. My personal belief system accepts gems from all faiths and yet I do not belong to a single one. I make my choices from my heart. So from my heart, I would strongly ask you to consider to keep this gentleman as a platonic friend. It has already been stated that JWs only marry JWs, and that is true. There are some that may marry non-believers, however, they are considered "weak" and "not good association." It is like walking around with a black mark. If you truly care for this person, you will allow him the space and freedom to make his own choice. If his family are practicing Jehovah's Witnesses he is already faced with immense pressure to not date outside of his faith. They have already been embarrassed that his way of life has resulted in him being put on "probation." He is walking a very thin line. If the elders find out that he is dating a non-JW, it could put him in the position of being "disfellowshipped" or excommunicated. He will be disowned by his family. His spiritual path is his own to choose, just as you have had the freedom to choose to be agnostic. Let him make the choice without interference from you. Also, he may be tempted into premarital sex with you, which the JWs consider to be a grave sin. He WILL be disfellowshipped for that. I know that if you care about him you will not want to cause him additional pain.

As far as the "property issue" - About twelve to fifteen years ago, the Watchtower and Bible Tract Society came up with legal contracts that people can sign if they wish to transfer their property to the JWs upon a member's death. The JWs operate by contributions or donations. Allowing people to bequeath their estates has helped their bottom line considerably.

I hope this helps you make the choice that will ultimately be for the highest good for you and for your JW friend. Releasing him would be the highest road.

For you: Decide what you want from a relationship. Get clear on what you want in a partner and know that you have the ability to attract someone that can understand your belief system and walk hand in hand with you as your create the life you desire.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 125
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:31:10 PM
Pandora

I've dated a Jehovah's Witness before. I have nothing bad to say about their faith. I personally think that they're misunderstood by many people and that's unfortunate. In a society where we're supposed to value differences, you say "Jehovah's Witness" and it's like a license to kill. When we started dating, I had friends and family say the most incredibly ignorant things about him to me in hopes of breaking us up.

What I did was research his faith as well as ask him questions about it. It was confusing at first--the differences are great and asking questions is key-but I kept at it. I also read some of the texts he gave me as well. It was an eye-opening experience. Yes, there were things that I didn't agree with and we'd discuss them when I asked about it.

What did break us up was his refusal to be open to my faith. He had no problem with me being open to his, but he flat out refused to even think of mine. That hurt a lot. He also wanted to, or so it seemed, date me secretly. Since I wasn't of his faith, he knew that if it were found out he was dating someone who wasn't a believer AND having sex with me--COMPLETELY against their teachings--he would be disfellowshipped. I felt that was hypocritical and selfish of him. He also said some very hurtful things about my faith that caused me to question him in general (hurtful as in he would have rather died than walk inside of my church...). In the end, he apologized and I accepted because we're all human. But I thought it best that we go our separate ways.

Would I do it again? Probably not. I understand and respect others' faith enough that if I'm not willing to become a complete part of what he believes in, then I need not be a small part at all.
 JamesP166
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 126
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History
Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:02:13 PM
Bottom line, The JW's are taught that this is the only way to heaven - - - if you are not with them you are doomed to hell.

They believe that the leaders are in contact with God and Jesus, and God and Jesus is guiding them by providing tidbits of information over time.

This religion was started in about 1890 by a salesman looking for a why to make big money. He purchased a book publishing company and then took aspects from other religions - - Not main stream ones. - - - got the members to buy his publications - - and sell or give them away. - - - note even today the members have to purchase the publications they give away. What other church requires its members to do this.

He even wrote and published a series of books called Studies in Structure - - 7 volumes.
Their concept is we are too dumb to understand what the bible says as it is in code.
And that God by use of Spirits is giving guidance and direction in the form of tidbits for us to come to understand what the bible says - - - - as we mortals can not understand what we read.

Volume 7 is hidden from members as it is too far out - - wrote by the founder after he did. that is right - - - and also has the founder saying that he is the 7the angel mentioned in the bible. - - - -

Basically it is a cult, you are brain washed - - - this is the only way -- if you question or ask too many questions or read aspects you should not read - - (parts of the bible that do not agree with them ) or listen to others - - - - they will kick you out saying a bunch of lies about you - - drugs. hooker etc. - - even your own family can not talk to you - - the members are afraid of this - - - lost of salvation and family contact - - even with your own kids. - - - - You are taught that JW's are on the only decent people in the world - - not to trust any other. - -

and worst the more that you question or get in an argument with them you are proving to them that they are in the last days - - - as the bible says that the world will be against the true believers - - - - - - So it is a non-win-able battle. - - - -

Needless to say, I know more about their religion than they do, for if they knew what I know about them they would not be members. - - - -

They like to brag that we are a large group - - millions and we can not all be wrong - - ah - -
They like to brag that they have the answers but in reality they do not - - they say just wait.

But reality is sure a lot join each year - - but also a lot drop out - - - and they do this by trying to fade away - - - hard - - - as the Elders watch over the flock closely and have to provide production type of reports to the higher ups. - - - hours going door to door etc. Membership - - - - easiest way to get out is to move to a new area - - - in an other churches area and simply not start up - - - - That way you do not get the banning that can happen if you simply try to drop out - - - because of are tired of the JW's or have started to question them.

Also the JW's teach or preach that Jesus is with them in secret chambers in New York.

To me - - - why would a person that can travel the universe simple decide to sit hidden away in a secret chamber - - - un-seen by even the members - - - - - why?

The bible says, When Jesus returns it will be like the lightening flashing from the east to the west. - - - I take that to mean - - - Jesus will be seen and known that he is back - - - The JW's try to modify this to mean - - To the true believers - - the faithful - he will be seen - - to others - - he will not be seen - - - - -

and say that this interpretation - - is what God has given to the leaders - - and who are you to argue with the leaders - - - -

if you can follow this and take what they say - - you have passed the dumb test - - -
as they point out to you in verses before this that Jesus is giving a warning - - - There will be stories of my being in Secret Caves or Chambers - - - do not fear for when I return - - (the above statement) - - to me this means - - you will know when Jesus comes back - - he will be known and seen - - - - and no religion is or should be able to say that he is simply sitting in a secret place - - - for months or years of time - - - - Why would Jesus do that? WHY?

and after passing the dumb test - - they will take you as a member - - if you can not follow their logic in this - - - you are not dumb enough (or qualified as they like to say)

My comment - - is run, do your research - - - most churches have material to help you with this. I did my research - - found sources, purchased books read them - -understood them - - - (before the days of the internet)

JW's are a very controlling cult - - -

Run

Jim P.
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