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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why men don't date strong women...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 3
Why men don't date strong women...Page 1 of 65    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Calagary

You seep to be talking about a point that I raised on a similar board.

There's a difference between assertive women and abusive women

- abusive woment are full of s**t and sling it at everyone patiaularily bf/s

- assertive women are not full of s**t cause they take no s**t from nobody.
 Trishnaa
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 11
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 11:20:07 PM
Thanks for saying it loud and clear. Now, I hope all those women read this and get it in their senseless heads. That way, there would not be so many versions of the same thread.


~*Flavia*~
 DeagleNINja
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 21
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:28:50 PM
Not me, I need a strong woman

One that can wrap her legs around you and go....."Uh uh, where the #$%^ do you think you are going?!?!? You aren't done till I say you are done Mr!"
 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 28
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History
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:02:29 PM
cause they hate getting beat at armwrestling......
 atrkyhntr™
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 30
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:04:28 PM

men don't have a choice we need to be smart,strong,independent professional...
women have two choices, you can be a mother and a wife OR a professinal career women.
when you try and mix the two you only dulute the potential of everything your trying to do and piss your husband off.

WHAT????
If I wanted a door knob I buy another door gezzzsus dude...

I love women who can do it all and come back for more...
If you would pitch in with the daily chores of running a home instead of depending on someone who married you for love not to be some damn slave you could have it all...

In today's world it pretty much takes both the husband and wife to bring home the bacon just to live comfortable and retire with security...
I want equality where I can pitch in and she can work and have her career...
Cave man mentality there bro...

BTW:
professional
dilute

Have a nice day:bye
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 41
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:17:26 PM
Strong women that I have met usually were very mean to me , two weeks ago I met a very intelligent , independant but very horrible to guys .... woman . She made me run away , her point in life seemed to make a guy feel small and scared.

Must drink more beer after that , is that what I expect in a woman in the future ? Gve me a dumn, weak bunny any day.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 45
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/11/2006 12:53:52 AM
I'm looking through several sites at the moment, that cover some of the worst misscarriages of justice.

Where men have faced stalking charges for even sending flowers to somebody. Where men have been charged with rape when a woman has seduced them while they were asleep and the men have had no knowledge of anything


And I'm astounded that ANY men bother dating any more. IN this rape phobic female society it's just not worth the risk.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 46
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/11/2006 2:11:40 AM
Maybe the real question and issue here
is BOYS dont like strong, capable women.. it makes them feel inferior.

Real men who are emotionally men.. do not fear a strong and capable woman
Yuppers ... that's it in a nutshell.

An additional problem as I see it is that there's this myth going around that a "strong" woman wants to control a man. And that's all it really is ... a big fat MYTH! Granted, there are some bossy and demanding ladies out there, but that's just what they are ... that's not strength ... that's just downright mean.

I categorize myself as a strong woman. However, that's based only on the fact that I am smart and talented and have been through some really horrible situations in my life. Instead of letting it get me down and drag me through the dregs ... I have pulled myself up by the bootstraps and become a real source of strength to myself and those I care about. I call it life experience. I do not let it turn me bitter. I deal with it with all the strength I can find in myself and get on with life. It's not always easy, but I do it.

I lost my 22 year old son 9 months ago ... that's horrible and the pain is undescribeable and I still continue to do what I do best ... take care of others. That's my job and I'm good at it and just because I suffered a horrible loss will not keep me from continuing to care for others. Just a side note ... caring for others gives my life meaning. How many people can say that about their job?

And by the way ... it doesn't mean I'm "damaged goods" and not capable of having a loving caring relationship with an emotionally mature man. It just means that sometimes I am sad and I miss my son ... but it does not mean that I am a mental case or about to turn into a mental case. I lost my son ... not my mind!

It would be nice if men could view a "strong" woman as a "wise" woman ... for there is no difference. We are just wise women looking for an emotionally "wise" man to accompany us through life. Some men have no problem stepping up to the plate and wanting to be there right by our side ...
... other's just hide behind clichés and keep acting like immature little boys.
 LorynBee
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 50
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/11/2006 10:25:43 AM
There's a difference between a strong woman and a B.I.T.C.H.
I'm a strong woman and I do NOT need to Step On A Man To Feel My Worth.
B.I.T.C.H.E.S. do.
 stoneside
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 53
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:09:54 PM
I won't date a woman that can bench press my weight. Just the way it is. (wink)
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 56
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/11/2006 9:34:06 PM
@calgaryboi ...

Strength comes from character and people with character do not need to tell others their strengths others will recognize it within them.

That is exactly the point I was trying to make ... I only began thinking of myself as a strong woman after many people who got to know me found out a lot about me and told me I am a stong woman.

Personally ... I feel like an "everyday ... run of the mill ... plain Jane". I am myself and others perceive me as strong. In my previous post it's possible that it sounded like I may have been flaunting it, but that's not the case.

Any man who did not read that post ... and just met me today ... unless he specifically asked about certain things ... he would not know that stuff about me. I confess, he would find out about the recent death of my son because that's an ongoing thing right now as his estate has not been settled.

I recently met a man here on POF that just about lost it when he heard I had recently lost my son. Up to that point, he was just being an everyday "Joe", but as soon as he found out about my loss ... geez ... the guy turned into "Chicken Little" ... started making all kinds of asumptions about me and my mental state, etc. OMG, I could hear all kinds of bells and sirens going off (from the crap that was coming out of his mouth). I have decided I don't need that kind of stuff and so I told him I wasn't ready to date at this time ...

Okay, so I fibbed, but a few days later, I wrote him a nice email explaining to him that based on his initial reaction (that sort of went on for about ten minutes), I didn't think it would work out between us and I wished him luck in finding what he was looking for.

But, you are right ... naturally strong women do not have to go about parading it ... none of this I am woman stuff, etc. We are what we are and my hope is that some day, a man will also find that (although somewhat hidden inside me) and be attracted to it enough to also want me.

 auntymar
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 59
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 3:27:55 AM
Men are most definitely intimidated by not only confident but intelligent women. I have the following strikes against me and get the following comments consistently:
1.What do you do for a living?
answer number one:
me: a power engineer
men: oh--- I see. So--- uhmmmm-- you must be pretty smart to be able to do that.
me: common sense also plays a critical role in what I do.
men: uhmmmm-- I think you are too smart for me--- uhmmmm--- (followed by silence)
if conversation makes it beyond power engineer comment --- I mention the following:
2. I used to work with the extreme violent behavioral special needs
men: omg!! strong too. (followed by silence)
3. How tall are you?
me: between 5' 10" and 5' 11"
men: are you serious? I am only 5' 7" (followed by silence)
4. Are you pretty?
me: I do not pretend to be a beauty queen nor do I have a need to admire myself in the mirror for hours but I think I am okay looking
men: ohhhh-- so you are ugly then. (followed by silence)

Sorry-- any and all of the above questions are usually conversation stoppers. Also-- just read the men's am looking for qualities they check off:
-medium height (under 5' 6")
-rarely do they mark off college or university educated
-very good looking

Men may say that they are looking for smart women---- nope---- if you have more formal education than them--- conversation is over.
Men who say they like confident/ independant/ strong women--- nope--- conversation ends.
Men who say looks don't matter--- nope--- try answering honest that you are average looking or okay looking--- conversation immediately over.
 missbott
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 74
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 7:57:06 AM
You are so right and now i know where im going wrong! After two years single i have built up a brick wall around myself and maybe i do give men the impression i dont need a man and i have convinced myself i dont need one either...not full time anyway .Do men prefer to see the vunerable side of a woman then?
 richard53
Joined: 11/18/2005
Msg: 79
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 8:40:14 AM
how true and how sad
 69cobra
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 81
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 9:12:46 AM
I believe that men truly like an independent woman who is also comfortable sharing their life with him.

It's the B*tchy women that need an excuse because they can never get a second date that tend to 'WRONGLY PROCLAIM' themselves as 'strong' women and give the truly STRONG WOMEN a bad rap.

Here's to all of the STRONG women and SINGLE MOM's out there who have value and belief in themselves ENOUGH not to depend on 'the kindness of strangers'.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 83
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 9:53:55 AM
I have to agree with this. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I will always back up stuff some of em do. To me a strong woman means she can work, support herself, is classy, wants to learn, won't take BS from anyone male or female and who knows that there is a healthy balance of life one must maintain to grow as a person. BUT when a man does come into her life, that man becomes a part of a whole lifestyle for her as well as her family, friends, work, alone time, health, etc.

I once learned a word to replace independent. When you are amongst society it's important to understand it - "inter" dependence. Means you can do what you need to do to live if there's no one to help you, but can be receptive to someone helping you, and vice versa. Maybe us independent women should use that word instead.

There is an extreme strain of almost feminist women who go around screaming about not needing anyone (particularly men), and keeping men at arms length, basically male bashing as a mechanism to, I don't know - survive. It all sounds like Thunderdome to me. Strong means you can make your own way in the world if you need to, not that you will run over men to get there. I don't know, it's one thing to voice your opinion, it's quite another not to consider anyone else's or think you know everything.

If these women are so strong and don't need men at all, they wouldn't care if they had a date or not. Wouldn't that be consorting with the enemy? LOL
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 93
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:10:05 AM
If they get a roving eye they know they'll REALLY get their a*s*s* kicked? They feel inferior if their muscle isn't the strongest one between the sheets? They're afraid they're an oreck instead of a hoover and might accidentaly put the setting on for bare floors?

What makes a woman strong is of course the subject of debate. That said people on both sides of the gender aisle are often deluded that they are an Alpha when in fact they are just a b*i*t*c*h or the son of one.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 101
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 12:58:17 PM
What is a "strong" woman?

That she goes to work and pays her own bills and tries to take care of herself?

Well duh.

What is she supposed to do? Live in a cardboard box in an alley and eat out of garbage cans.

Sorry, I just don't buy into the idea that people should be put in high regard for things they have to do anyway.

"Wow, I pay my taxes, never mind I'd go to jail if I didn't, I'm A FREAKING HERO!"

"I wear clean clothes. That's right. Even use bleach on those suckers. And sometimes, when I feel really risky... I use fabric softener. God, I am such a pimp for having personal hygiene. Never mind that it's a basic requirement to interact with most of society if I didn't , I'm a FREAKING HERO!"

"I go to work everyday. That's right. Never mind that I don't have a choice otherwise I couldn't put food on the table and I'd starve to death in the cold rain outside otherwise if I didn't, I'm A FREAKING HERO!"

What's a 'strong' woman? Well the same things that make anyone "strong" A person who can't walk but has to be in a wheelchair and still does positive things for other people. That's 'strong' Someone who has been wrongfully imprisoned for 20 years and comes out and makes the most of their life, that's a "strong" person. Someone who goes and dies for their country in war, whether anyone agrees with why the war is being fought or not, is a "strong" person.

And the rest? The ones who take the everyday shit that people around the world have to do just to survive and try to pimp it like they are some kind of uber hero? Those people take real tragedy, real conflict, real suffering in this world and they spit on it. They spit on it for even comparing themselves to what true "strength" really means.

I've seen little kids in cancer wards who never complain. Not once. They face death with a measure of resolve that most adults could never muster. But they don't pimp that in anyone's face. They don't wear it like a badge of honor to make themselves special. They just want to have a normal life of a kid. One they will never ever have. THAT FOLKS, THAT IS 'STRONG', NOT THE PANSY SELF ABSORBED BULLSHIT MOST PEOPLE FEED THEMSELVES SO THEY CAN FEEL SPECIAL IN THEIR MUNDANE ORDINARY LIVES.

So please, if it makes some of you so happy. Keep talking about how "strong" some of you really are in life. Because if you were really "strong", you'd know you wouldn't need to even talk about it at all in the first place.

Here's a good one,

"Why men don't date people with absolutely no perspective on real life and how real life works...."

Lots of people won't want to ask that question to themselves. Too bad they don't know they often have already given the answer.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 102
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/15/2006 3:05:03 PM
Whoa...there are no words or simple way to respond to that one, i'll just get out of the way and watch the fireworks.
 Mame7
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 120
Why men don't date strong women... DOUBLE STANDARD
Posted: 9/17/2006 2:25:57 AM
RE: METABARON...Post #34...>
"""""I like women who have careers and have good paying jobs... but and this is a big but, as long as the career and job doesn't mean that the family comes last. Unfortunately for some women the family is on last place, as they chase that higher and higher position.""""

But it's ok for the MAN to chase higher and higher positions and the family comes last for HIM? The woman should do things half a--ed, only up to a certain level, and not get HER full satisfaction from HER career because she has to run out of her office early enough to make sure she catches the store open to pick up the toilet paper before it closes..... or turn down HER promotion to be with the kids more? Does HE do this? But you want her to have a career and a good paying JOB..... just not TOO good or TOO fulfilling or TOO rewarding, just a lowely ''job''. An actual ''career'' should only be enjoyed by the man..... she should only get a paycheck to contribute but no satisfaction from what she's doing IF it interferes with the FAMILY. It's okay for HIM, though.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 127
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/17/2006 1:20:20 PM
Mr. Calgary, well put, M8.

Men do have the same feelings and aspirations as women do. Why it is absent of most women, as to this effect, is completely staggering to me. As brilliant as they (women) are, in most context's, it is completely unexplainable why this simple fact is so often overlooked. My guess is it's a pendulum that has swung so far off into one direction, with little regard for its destination, that the net result becomes lost. If the empowerment of women was to be advantageous, it must include men, as the world that we've known for centuries was built by and of men. (Not to insinuate that women have played no part in history)

I see aggressive, but angry women today, especially in the business world. Their "lust" for power has become unflattering, at best, and it appears many have lost the ability to relax and just be women. Most women have fallen to opinions from other women who think that life without men would be like a fish without a bicycle. Well, we'd have no fish (with or without bicycles) without the "male" genders presence. However, it appears some feel completely void of acknowledging the presence of a "man", let alone ask his opinion. Unless we've now completely redefined "the" meaning of a woman.

My guess is it's a generation, perhaps two generations, of women (and men) who oppose men or hate men, whether by some past infringement upon them, or by the teachings of a scorned (albeit custodial) parent (generally mom). Until we put men on a "newly" evened playing field, I think the general opinions towards men will continue to decline.

I, for one, am over the whole deal. It's the blind leading the blind.
 Mame7
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 128
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/17/2006 5:23:27 PM
Why does a woman have to be considered as only trying to "PROVE" herself [paraphrasing from above]. Why is SHE considered that shallow when a man isn't. Is a man only trying to prove himself, or does he love what he's doing and is driven by it, but that is ADMIRED, as opposed to the woman being scorned for it, and it being considered a negative. If it's a woman, she's only trying to ""prove herself"". Prove to WHOM?? .... [and other words and concepts stated above and in the rest of the media, etc..]

Women go through.... H E L L..... in the work place STILL ,and have to work 50% harder for a 20% lower [or more] salary because she is STILL not accepted for her capabilities and her PLACE in the world which is still thought of as an inappropriate venue if she's not at home cleaning up her kid's vomit as her only amusement in life, and before her 'hubby' gets home so the sight of it doesn't disturb HIM lol

And also to someone else above:..... we're not talking about a man who has to go to a mere "Job" he doesn't LIKE just to bring home the bread, but of real successful professionals, with fascinating careers. But those men who are on that level of intelligence and success DON'T resent the woman being equal in hers, because the mentality which MADE them successful in the first place, expands to all of life. [unfortunately not always, but most], and he has no axe to grind and admires and respects his successful and driven wife and all of it making her much more interesting.

THOSE kinds of men don't WANT their women being slobs and staying home only doing their nails.. It's only the inferior and inadequate men who do, and have to PROVE to themselves that they are the MAN. God help them.

And another thing above [not mentioning any names]...... but is the MAN'S "lust for power" unflattering? Why is the WOMAN's! Why isn't HE considered ANGRY and UNABLE TO RELAX..... many of them ARE both, you know.... and ALSO can't, but I guess that's OK. lol...... ......
 Mame7
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 129
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/17/2006 5:47:00 PM
And yes.... Some women adore men and only **WANT** and CHOOSE to enjoy them in their lives, but don't actually NEED them [many women are even keeping their men alive and eating, I hear too often], because these women are complete unto themselves and those are the only one's who have anything to even offer in a relationship.... but THOSE women are no good either? wow. Guess some people just NEED having NEEDY women around to make themselves feel macho and complete. Thank GOD for the men who LOVE independent and accomplished women, and can accept people who don't NEED them but just want them in their lives at times to enhance it. So women who aren't needy are also resented lol Funny, it's been my experience that we're the most sought after.

.....And these days there would still be PLENTY of new ''fish'' produced without either gender, if you want to get technical...... or haven't you heard. Some men really resent women of strength, infringing and threatening their own..... luckily they are very few, or at least only on a certain level of existance and class.
 Greystone1
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 133
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/17/2006 8:44:30 PM
Because hostility is unattractive.
 Mame7
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 136
DOUBLE STANDARD
Posted: 9/18/2006 1:58:22 AM
The first problem here was the OP's title of this thread, that's why it caught my eye and I had to do a double take. He is speaking for only HIMSELF, and his personal preference and experience, which of course he's certainly entitled to vent about....but Men DO date and MARRY strong Women. That was the strangest comment / question I've ever seen.......

Real Men PREFER strong, intelligent, accomplished, active, vital, fascinating and thriving women.... that's what's so funny about all this. I live in the middle of Manhattan and have all my life, where the largest concentration of the most fabulous, accomplished, strong, secure and successful Men of the world ARE and they ONLY [or 'mostly'] date and marry Women equal to themselves, and on their level..... and love and adore them with NO issues attached to that at all.....

I cannot speak for the rest of the country, nor should have the OP of this thread made that blanket statement..... he and other Men on here can only speak for THEMSELVES deriving from their own personal preferences according to their life experience or any 'issues' which have made them feel that way.... , as all other Men can only do, who have commented on this here and perhaps elsewhere. We as 'Women' CAN speak for Men.... because WE are the one's they've been dating and marrying lol [or I should say..... always WANT to marry].......

Well, this is only one guy with a personal gripe [and a few others with a bad experience, obviously, whom I do feel badly for] but it's not the state of the world, nor representative of it, and not going on where I live. Nor has it been my personal experience, but rather the opposite, and for all strong Women whom I've known as well and also those who have written all the books, and taken all the surveys and all over TV too and shows devoted to such investigations and studies and endless public discussions.......

So just simply find Ladies who aren't strong, if that's what you prefer. What's the big deal. There's enough to be found out there for everyone..... every pot has it's cover, and there are plenty subservient ones left over, and still available [Warning, though: it takes a long time to untie their high button shoes, but maybe it will be worth it for you...... and then again, they will probably oblige by doing it themselves as part of their subservience, so there's absolutely no problem all around that I can see]. To each his own. *smile*
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