Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How to play a player?      Home login  
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 1
How to play a player?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
K this is the deal, I've always been a "nice" girl. Like sandra dee in the beginning of grease. No head games, open and honest to a fault. So i would always end up in deep and meaningfull relationships.. Sounds good right? Well actually it's nice but BORING. Everything is always so serious, no excitment, and i'm always the first one to be taken for granted. So now i want to be more like how sandra dee is at the end of the movie grease but have no clue on how to do it.

I got this guy i'm interested in, i know he's a big player, We have had some involvment but mostly just hanky panky. I'm not looking for a deep comentment but i don't want to close the door to having one either. I know he plays games with people because i've seen how he does it. They seem completly unaware that he plays games with them, and i don't want to be like one of those people. So any and all advice on how to handle a guy like this so i can choose if i want to play or not would be really apprecaited.

Also should i let him be aware that I know he plays games with everyone or should i just keep that to myself for now?
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 2
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:16:40 PM
heres some good tips for you

#1 never let a guy know your interested because he will then think he can toss u around like a rag doll and u will keep coming back. u should only tell him u like a few things about him, don't stroke his ego.

#2 treat men how they treat you. if he sees other people then u can to. i don't suggest lying but if hes lying to you don't be offering up any info about who else your seeing, its not his business anyways. if he parades his other women around you then show up with one of your other guys when u know he'll be around.

#3 keep all doors open, which you seem to be willing to do. great.

good luck to you and remember just because u slept with the guy doesn't mean u give a crap about him and same goes for him.
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 3
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:18:02 PM
How do you know he's a player. Because I have had my share of players and I would love to help you get the player back.
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 4
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:23:43 PM

how many men have played you vs. how many men got played by you? EVERY man you have ever gone out with has had a shot at a long term relationship with you? I find those odds...hard to fathom.

how many men go out every weekend with women who do not like them?

games are games, if you do not like them then dont date.
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 5
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:28:17 PM
I would recommend zero hanky pank for at least 6 or 7 or more dates, until he says,
"I have taken my profile down and want you to do the same.", OR I would wait till marriage with you to DO IT. Then you got a man all to yourself, and THE BEST HANKY PANKY life has to offer.
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 6
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:29:56 PM
Hey Mr Bond,
I dont know how to be a player. Sorry to dissapoint you. Sound like you have hard
feelings towards this subject, instead of being an ass why dont you tell us about them.
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 7
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:42:05 PM
I am not an ass, but I have been told I have a nice one! Since you called me "Mr. Bond" I feel a certain obligation to do the classy thing and give you insight into your question.

I dont try to have hard feelings for this kind of thing, but honestly it is hard for me to fathom how a woman who is mostly in charge of a relationship and can out think a man AND (hell of a sentence eh?) stroke his ego to make him happy or miserable AND who can read men a hell of a lot better than men can read women can not pick up on it.

You want to know what it is? You like him too much either through his looks or his behavior too soon and do not take the time to check out his motives over the long term.

Its called verification of his intentions and behavior. If you want to know more, just shoot me a message.
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 8
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:47:48 PM
Here's the deal. You can't play a player. They are trophy hunters looking for the easy kill. But, if you want to give it a shot, play it the way they do.
1. Be charming, attentive, and completely amusing while you are with him.
2. Never let him see you looking anything less than spectacular.
3. Do not always be available, nor should you explain your absences.
4. Don't put out, but make it obvious you will under the right circumstances.
5. Learn the fine art of teasing.
6. Make him believe he is the most wonderful man you have ever known, or ever will know. Stroke his ego.
7. When he is at your home, have a friend call, so you can mumble something into the phone. Then smile, shrug your shoulders, and explain it's an old boyfriend you just can't get rid of.
8. Also, when he is at your home, have a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting in an obvious place with no card. If he asks about them, look sheepish.
9. No matter what he says, pretend it is the most intelligent, funny, or profound thing you have ever heard.
10. Do not immediately answer every phone call or email.
11. Even if you have to make one up, have an interesting life that you can drop tidbits about in conversations.
12. Never probe or or try to discover if he is seeing anyone else. Pretend you believe all his lies.
13. Never find fault with a single thing he does.
14.Be a few minutes late meeting him, then apologize with all your heart.
15. This is the big one. Do not become emotionally involved with him. The minute you do, you lose.

Good luck, you'll need it.
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 9
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:02:18 PM
I met a girl that was a man player once.
Not sure how it would work on men but Im sure it is close.

I never gave into the games, EVER.
And I called her on all of them games. I didnt do it in a mean way. Most true players I know, are still very happy people that dont like to argue.

I would also tell her no , when I knew she was trying to get what she wanted from me.
if it woulda been other than just her pleasure to see if she could play me I might have done what she had asked. And I let her know why I was doing it.

One night after a heated discussion ( tension, not sexaul ) almost to the piont of drama, thou i still kept my cool. She finally broke cause she knew it wasnt going to work on me.
She started to act like a freind, instead of a player. Then we got closer as freinds and to this very day she considers me a good freind.

But she knows better to pull one over me:D Cause she knows I will drop her in a drop of a hat. Not because I am a bad or mean person, but because she knows i wont put up with the shit.

last note here.. we was kinda seeing each other. Hinse why she was trying to play me, Im guessing she lost the fun in it once she realized she couldnt.. then freinds became of it. Which I was cool with anyways
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:04:25 PM
1. dont appear too eager in any situation, let him call you but be available at the same time

2. Have a back bone, say what you want, dont just agree with him (though, some men like the "uh-huh, sure" type, but if hes a pro, like u say, he wont)

3. if youve already slept with him, the mystery is gone.....and a long term possibility is definetely more rare, but if the s3x is bad a$$, theres a good chance still, if its bad, not so much, lol but thats a chemistry thing, too

4. get him to talk about DEEPER Things without being clingy or too "scary", just casually ask personal questions, and no matter what the answer, (even if its a shocker) just smile, and absorb the information and offer your answer, maybe it'll start a more complex conversation than just, "you wanna sleep over" (this way, you talk, and discuss things, and its not just all about sex, which opens many doors)

theres more, but those are a few little non abrasive things you can try out.....
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 11
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:09:38 PM
Wow.....if I can follow all these guidelines and do well, I believe I can win over Prince William's heart. Who cares about that player or double palyer, uh?

Since when love becomes such a pathetic tool as a spy game? Why it has to be this complicated? You love then give in, you don't love then walk out. For the sake of your mental health.
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 12
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:27:33 PM

1) When she is charming, amused and attentive, then shut up and start to get her to talk about herself and lose herself in her stories and interests and you listen attentively but be quiet .
2) When she shows up always spectacular then you OUT DRESS HER and look miles better so she looks almost goofy rag doll like.
3) YOU must be busy and not always available and don't ask her about her absenses. Heck, don't even call her till she calls you .
4) DON'T make any advances on her and when you are in an very romantic couch or situation and let her paw at you almost and be charming but no advances. Watch her look puzzled and anxious. M00-WH0-HA-HA !!
5) If she starts to tease, look confused and change the subject, or grope her gently by grabbing her boob or ass. HAHAHA !!! Hey, what is she going to say, I mean, she is teasing isn't she? hehehe !
6) When she acts like you are so-o great then have a friend call and tell your phone caller that you are with a very special date right now, "YEA ! I AM WITH LNSTARKISS right now ! YEA !! LINSTARKISS !!, I gotta go !", make like your date is the greatest thing and your other friend shouldn't have phoned. (wink)
7) If her phone rings and she acts like it is an old boyfriend, make an secret boundary and Be shocked and independent and strong but leave right there. No long explaination just leave politely. (she broke the boundaries)
8) If you see flowers on her counter, then say WOW, NICE FLOWERS, and then say, well you are a beautiful , it is not surprising that you are getting flowers AND WINK. Then buy her some next time and say well, I noticed you like flowers AND SMILE and never act jealous.
9) when she acts too enthusiastic look at her and pause and look abit confused. She will go home and feel foolish.
10) Don't call much and never email. Be mysterious.
11) Tell her you have a life like your grandma is having a candle party and you want to help her with the displays etc. AND that you are going to babysit your nephews and that you would rather babysit your nephews than anything else in the world. Good family life stuff like that.
12) When banging all the other babes like church bells and running back and forth to the clinics, don't tell her about it. Players now mum's the word.
13) Suck it up when she thinks you are flawless, because hey, you are a man, and that is enough to warant flawless title !! You will win her soon, dispite her motive to play you, and that makes you flawless !
14) When she is late you say, "oh I am sorry were we suppose to meet and go out tonight ? I forgot !!", or say, Oh please be late, I never ever am on time, that makes me feel more at ease when you are really late. (wink)
15) Cry one day to her, and feel like a failure to her so she nurtures you, and then this will give you power over her emotionally. She will melt. You got her man. Play time !! M0-0-WHO-HA-HA !!! hickup hehe
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 13
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:31:47 PM
My question is why bother???? I firmly beleive in what goes around comes around....but I would not stoop to a player's level to dish it out to them. You may never know, but in some way they will get theirs. The universe likes to even the score and you don't need to even lift a hand. Plus acting just as childish as a player only makes you look silly. To me its important how I treat people, and knowing I can sleep at night because I did well
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 14
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:59:16 PM
LOL women are not mostly in charge of the relationship, maybe with you.
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 15
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 9:01:19 PM
Maybe you get too whipped. Women are attracted to guys with power, along with looks and personality/confidence...
Joined: 11/14/2004
Msg: 16
view profile
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/11/2006 9:09:03 PM
ok, if you want to play a player, especially one you've slept with, you're going to have to be pretty extreme, and cold-blooded to pull it off. I can only really offer suggestions based on my own experiance of being played by a woman, but considering my decidedly non-player status, you may need to make some necessary adjustments for this guy.
first, spend time with him, but make it focused on YOU. The goal is to make him waste his time on you. ex. ask him to come over to help you fix something, then take him along to the store to get what you need, but make a bunch of stops along the way to run errands for yourself. Get him to spend time at your place, but don't put out. try to play this on your own turf. have him pick you up to go out to dinner, but don't be ready when he comes. make him wait for you. It's ok to call him alot, because if he's a player, he just wants a good roll in the hay. Just look for that critical point where you think he's had enough, then get his interest back by doing something incredibly slutty. a good one might be to wear a tight-fitting pair of Daisy-Dukes without underwear, and pick an oppurtune time to bend over in front of him. don't be afraid to show him a little cleavage, but don't act interested in sex...just be his friend. what you want to do is effectively wrap him around your little finger...hold that carrot on a stick infront of the donkey...make him chase you a bit. Make him go out of his way for hope alone. once you've accomplished this, you can take the situation any direction you choose, just make sure he doesn't give up!
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:32:51 AM
RAPTORSFAN, I am not at all attracted to power hungry men! Confidence is good, and LOOKS MATTER MORE TO MEN THAN WOMEN, EASILY!
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 18
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:37:52 AM
My question is why bother???? I firmly beleive in what goes around comes around....but I would not stoop to a player's level to dish it out to them. You may never know, but in some way they will get theirs. The universe likes to even the score and you don't need to even lift a hand. Plus acting just as childish as a player only makes you look silly. To me its important how I treat people, and knowing I can sleep at night because I did well

Finally! If you have your head on straight and have had long term relationships that were good but just 'boring', wouldn't it be better to learn how to spice up a relationship, instead of learning to "play the player"?? Chances are if the relationship was boring for you, it was boring for the other person as well...? I'm sure you can find some good books on how to add excitement to a may be easier than you think...

JUST my opinion:
To be 'successful' at 'playing' you have to change your entire mental attitude about sex, love, relationships,etc It's a GAME. It's all about manipulation, deceit (you can never let on that you want anything more serious if you ever do, or you lose), and doing what it takes to not get voted off the island, even if you're morally opposed, etc. ;o)
It has little or nothing to do with love. Are you prepared to become a manpulative liar? It's not going to do you any good to 'learn the game' if you do end up wanting a relationship down the road, you will likely end up with YOUR heart broken, not his. It will backfire.
The only way for you to 'play' him, is for YOU to break it off and move on (in which case you'll likely be viewed negitively-are you prepared to handle that?). A 'true' player moves from one to the next. Sometimes it lasts a little longer but they always move on. Any 'hanky panky' is him being ahead of you in the 'game'. In my opinion, they only way to win this game, is to step out of it. If you continue to chase the same man and try to 'play' him, then it's only you who is being played by your own misbelief that he'll eventually want to be with you.

If you really think it will make you happy to try and bring someone down, that have at 'im I guess.

Good luck

Again...just my thoughts at the moment...sorry if I've offended Cheers!
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 19
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:44:48 AM
So you want to know how to out-play a player, and get him into a relationship?

Yeah. Good luck with that.
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 20
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:52:20 AM
wow.. ok guys i'll try to put all your advice into action. If anyone has more advice they want to throw in but don't want to post it in public feel free to email me.
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 21
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:20:13 AM
My opinion; Perhaps this may be why some of you guys and girls are still single. Think about it! Life isnt a Candyland game. It's for REAL with REAL PEOPLE or have yall forgotten that in cyber world?
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 22
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 1:54:55 PM
Welcome to the darkside. Your journy is a path not a switch. Don't call him out. Becareful He's been playing for much longer than you have. Cosmo is the great source of most women's power. Find some friends that are players and learn from them. Or rent the movie whipped.
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 23
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 2:08:23 PM
I have MANY things I can say about this and help you in many ways.

BUT I do have one question also!!.....You said you want to "play" him back??

Lets get this strait, NOBODY wins when this sort of thing happens. Playing him back wil not and cannot make you feel happy about yourself.

My advice to put it plain and simple, would be to confront him about it and just explain to him that it is wrong what he is doing and try to talk some sense into him, invite him for a cup of coffee or dinner and explain this to him.
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 24
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 2:09:19 PM
Just don't have sex with a will fall in love with him and will kick your own butt for know what he is..just don't get trapped in the honey...honey
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 25
How to play a player?
Posted: 7/12/2006 2:20:50 PM
Are you planning on marrying this guy? Are you having fun? Just go along for the ride and unless you have something better waiting in the wings stop your bellyaching or get out!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How to play a player?