Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What would you do if the sex was really bad!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 2
What would you do if the sex was really bad!Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
If that was the only problem, of course I would keep seeing him. That is something that is very easy to work out over time.

Things really were easier when people didn't put so much importance on sex. Now it seems to be at the heart of everything.

Just over time guide him (in a nice, not obvious way) in the direction you want him to go. It might take a bit of time, but if you like him enough it is worth. If you don't then it isn't. Only you can decide that.
 spudmama
Joined: 3/4/2005
Msg: 5
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:03:13 AM
too many men look at sex as something a man does to a woman if they can convince her to let them. WRONG!! sex is something to share between both partners.

ignorant but willing to learn is ok, as long as he actually learns and uses what he learns BUT selfish in bed is selfish elsewhere. ditch him.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 6
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 7/12/2006 3:42:57 PM
I cant believe how hipocritical these posts are.

Gender reverse the first post.

Make it a guy complaning about boring sex. Better still make it a guy complaining about no sex at all. And wondering what to do.

You would be saying he should dump her. On the contary you would be up in arms with a heap of abuse and cliches about men being a pack of penis slaves.

Well????
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 7
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 7/12/2006 3:43:54 PM
Men are like dogs, you can train them if you don't mind putting alot of time into it
===================================
Well Brown Eyed girl. We all know what female dogs are dont we.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 9
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 7/13/2006 5:05:47 AM

(OP) Ok, I know this should not be the only thing important in a relationship, but it is up there with honesty and good communication..



(Msg 13) I know sex is not the only important thing in a relationship but it is up there....


I think many people confuse the importance of sex vis-a-vis honesty, communication and other important qualities/attributes.

Here's my take on it. Every type of relationship requires honesty. We expect the person at the bank to be honest. We expect our auto mechanic to be honest. Our dentist. Imagine if our dentist told us that instead of a needing a filling for $100.00 we required a root canal and crown for $1000.00!

We require communication, as well, in all relationships. From discussing our illness and treatment with our doctor to explaining to the kid weeding our garden the difference between what are plants and what are weeds.

But each relationship has one particular "purpose", for lack of a better word. Our relationship with our auto mechanic is based on how well they fix our car. Our dentist, on how well they fix our teeth. And a romantic relationship is based on sex. Sex is the one thing that one specific person can perform for us just as our dentist is the one person that can fix our teeth. We can have the most honest, communicative, compassionate auto mechnic but if he can't fix our car he is not going to be our auto mechanic.

If our doctor or dentist or auto mechanic do their "job" well we excuse other things that may irritate us. Maybe we have to wait long at the doctor's office but we know she's the best doctor around. Maybe we don't care for the type of humor our dentist has but we know they're the best dentist in the neighborhood. Similarily, when our partner is sexually proficient we easily overlook other traits that may not sit well with us. That is the glue that holds relationships together. If your partner is not sexually doing their "job" the romantic relationship will not last because a romantic partner is the only person that can fill that need/requirement.

You can walk away now or walk away later but sooner or later one of you will walk away.
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 11
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 7/17/2006 9:14:46 PM
Walk away.
I am a sexual person...bad sex is a serious deal breaker for me
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 13
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 7/17/2006 10:30:10 PM
If sex were really bad , i would be happy as long as I got some , hehehehe
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 9:53:30 AM
booty licious:
Well, if a man is* emotionaly attached* he'll do in his power to be passionate whether in artistic matters like music .singing , sports ,work or the art of making love to a woman. It is in their instinct to pleasure ( gift) a woman, that is the way how they expressed how they cherish and love a woman. Have you not notice that a man will buy you an expensive flowers that wilted in 4 days ? Just to see your happy face? Most men aren't really selfish if you push the right button in them,especially on making love.. my 2 cents

A woman doesn't need to teach a man to make love to her unless she is getting a 16yrs old virgin boy, of course she'll teach him the A BC of sex.

 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:59:41 AM

I'm to old to train anyone. Simply I'say NEXT!


margo ,good to see you back... but I can't comment on your message ,I am tongue tied for some reason.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 20
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 11:02:40 AM
See if his brother is any better!
 ArtilleryMike
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 21
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 12:44:52 PM
Selfish and ignorant? No. I would not because they are most likely like that in other aspects of their life.

If he wasn't selfish, some guys may need practice.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 22
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 2:16:29 PM
I've never understood why it's okay to leave a guy with a crap personality but almost taboo to do so if the sex is bad.....Sex IS important and no one should be frowned upon for wanting good sex..
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 23
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 2:27:13 PM
I so agree Arabianangel.......

There are many many reasons why society will condone divorce and/or leaving a relationship, from money, to laziness, to mental or physical abuse, to not being able to have children, on and on, but the one place frowned upon is sex.

I think the number one reason for separation is sex, or lack of it in some form, or the use of sex by either mate as a punishment/reward system, and that in and of itself should be more than enough reason to separate.

If we can use family problems, and financial problems as a valid reason to leave, why can we not use bad sex, lack of sex, or no sex at all, as one?

cd...........
 DelrayDesign
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 24
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 4:52:46 PM
Aside from your POF user name being DISGUSTING!!!!!!

Which by the way...SCREAMS...I am NEEDY!

Let's refer to the song verse we all know...

These boots were made for walking! Walk on, Move on and Move up!!!
 ChocolateNutt
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 25
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 5:03:45 PM
That's a tough question.

What's he like in other areas? I dated a man who was very selfish and thoughtless, but he turned out to be selfish and thoughtless and redneck in every area not just in terms of intimacy, so needless to say our relationship didn't develop very far. I don't know what I would have done if the rest had been great, maybe it just works out that a selfish guy in terms of intimacy is like that in all aspects of his life.

Nutt
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 26
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 5:15:06 PM
If you have told him what you need and he is not willing to change it, cut him off.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 27
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 5:45:36 PM
Demand a refund !!$!$!$!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 28
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:36:54 PM
I'm with arwen51; no! Why should "in bed" qualities be considered separately? Would you pursue a relationship with someone who was selfish & boring, in any respect?
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 30
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:29:25 PM
Oh hell no. What's the name of this site? Oh yeah. You need to move on and leave this guy to be all by his selfish self.

I'm sorry, but a bad kisser is enough to make me turn away.
 paul1957t
Joined: 11/7/2009
Msg: 32
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/11/2010 2:25:20 AM
that issue caused my last lng term breakup the distance between us was awfull she just let the physical side to me always , she had no intrest just downing a bottle a wine didn't help either as she did like to drink even my father made a comment one day
and it hurt that you parents saw the problem drinking , we did talk but too no avail
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 34
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:26:11 AM
Most men have this fantasy that they can just spend their lives sitting on the couch and farting in tandem with a smokin hot woman (with no needs of her own), servicing him at regular intervals with BJs and sandwiches. Men are not as interested in sex when it means having to learn new things and being in tune with their partner. Too much cognitive work for them. They think porn is an education and they've never read an anatomy book or a sex book with actual chapters and paragraphs.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 35
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/11/2010 6:07:23 PM
akamyrna - "Training" a man sounds like a lot of work, and I already have a job. It does shock me that there are adults that don't even have basic knowledge of anatomy.
With all of the information right online where one can look up the answer to any question there is just no excuse. If a lover is "into" something in particular and can choose to learn more about it, try it out, etc. Even roleplay is not out of the question. I think when a partner is not open to something new or they're not willing to learn about it they are just lazy or not that into you.
 ea┬«ly
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 36
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/11/2010 6:24:44 PM
What would you do if the sex was really bad!


Seriously?

...if it's obvious that it's going to always be that way? Buh bye


I know this should not be the only thing important in a relationship

It's one of a few limiting factors, ...then it is a big factor to consider, unless you're both uninterested in your sexuality...

This should be a serious consideration before committing to anything, yeah, a definite deal-breaker. Incompatibility here can only lead to resentment. That's an easy bail, if there's indifference to you while being self-concerned, ...this probably extends to more areas than just sexuality.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/11/2010 6:28:50 PM

You will find that most men are like this


Simply not true! Merely another example of making assumptions against an entire gender. For the mot part, people (regardless of gender) are no different in bed than they are out of bed. Selfish people remain so when they pull back the sheets, and "givers" are ever the same.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 38
What would you do if the sex was really bad!
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:52:13 PM
Jeebus, the thread is 4 1/2 years old, I certainly hope she has trained a new man by now.... cuz if she cant train on in that amount of time.... it just might not be the pupil

Its a new year, may you all get enough sexn to make last year look like a drought.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What would you do if the sex was really bad!