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 AUTHOR
 SEENREAD
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 10
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Get REAL__You stayed because you think nothing of yourself!!
Not this " I love him bullshit"
Get help from a shrink, NOW!
 peanut_butter_blues
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 11
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History
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 7/13/2006 9:13:47 AM
They stay becasue the bf or husband has them convinced then can't get any better.They stay becasue he threatens to take custody of her children.They stay because its all she knows and begins to believe him.She stays because he is better than nothing.You can't look down on these women,they are brainwashed to think they are the scum of the earth and they deserve to be put down.Some wake up and escape,some don't.
 Polly_G
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 21
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 8/26/2006 10:46:46 AM
^^^ thinking there is nothing you can do is just in your head and a state of mind. There are actually quite a few resources out there for women suffering abusive relationships. Even temporary shelters until they can get on their feet. But first you have to make the decision whether or not you going to be a victim anymore. If you continue to think like a victim, you'll always be a victim.

I hate to point this out, but why are you on a dating site if you are in an abusive relationship? You need help or you wouldn't be in the situation in the first place. Are you looking for someone new to take his spot? That is a dependent personality and one easily abused.

I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years. We were friends for 5 years before that and he wasn't like that. I kept thinking (and he kept telling me) he was going through a ruff time and it would change.

Even now after years of councelling and self-help, I still see that underneath there lurks the monster ready to jump out if crisis were to hit him again. I would be the one who suffered the wrath of his anger, no one else.

In front of other people he was Mr. Charming. I lived for those moments. The moment we would start getting close emotionally though he'd start getting emotionally abusive towards me. For a long time I stayed out of loyalty to our friendship. I sincerely thought I could help him through this ruff time. He said he felt suicidal too. Plus there was one point when he was freaking out he asked me if he should be put in a mental hospital for assessment. I honestly was at a loss what to do with him so thought it might actually not be a bad idea to have him go and be assessed. It was a test...I failed.

He'd even badger me into staying in the bedroom when company came over. I swear I'm not normally like this but he got me at a time when I was coming out of a long term relationship and was a mess mentally. He beat my self-esteem down with constant criticism. It got to the point where, when friends came over, I would automatically go to the bedroom rather than face his aggravation with me over something I would inevitably do to annoy him in front of his friends.

I kept hoping this was a phase he was going through and that when he got better that he would start treating me right like he would do sporatically. He would hold me and give me emotional support sometimes in a way no man had ever given it to me before. The times he would expend this kind of effort on me though kept getting smaller while the monster side kept getting bigger.

Then I started to realize that I was the reason he was having the ruff time. He wouldn't be going through all this drama if he didn't have me in his life to take it out on. They get some sick sense of empowerment or something from it.

Its also a pretty big ego blow when you realize you fell in love only with what he wished you to see, not who he really was. Its like this feeling of betrayal that I can't describe. You feel guilty and hard on yourself for being so fooled.

Any guy that thinks women like this stuff need their head examined. Yes, some women are victims because they set themselves up for it. Many women though, get in these relationships at times when they are going through emotionally stress. These types of guys swoop in and act like Mr. Right. They prey on us. If they acted like asses from the get go, they would not have got their foot in the door.

P.S. They also don't let us leave that easily. They can be extremely persistent. My ex was calling me for 6 months before I'd finally respond and speak to him. Then he'd try his tricks and we would speak for months again. He would never give up trying to contact me though.
 Real_Brunette
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 24
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:46:12 PM
Verbal abuse is usually just a prelude to physical abuse. That is why it gets to that point. All it takes is for someone to tear down your self-esteem. I was in an abusive relationship for years. I just recently left for good. I would not describe myself as needy, dependent or uneducated, but when you are in that situation, you feel useless, helpless and unworthy of anything good.
 captnjimbo
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 25
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Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 8/26/2006 5:35:21 PM
Those who stay definitely are in need of professional help. Even worse are the ones who get out of an abusive relationship and get into another!
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 27
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 10/15/2006 9:32:53 AM
There are actually prisoners that would rather stay in prison than be released. It may be a hell but it is a familiar hell . People sometimes would rather stay with the devil they know than to risk the possibility of the devil they do not know = DAMN I AM FILLED WITH CLICHES' TODAY
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 28
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 10/15/2006 9:49:32 AM
I was scared of what was going to happen and fear of my kids witnessing any part of it

how wrong I was... kids are resiliant (sp?) .. they will survive anything if they have love sheltering them

believe it or not after two years .. everything is going smoothly.. I'm VERY happy, kids are well-adjusted, their father is happy (with another woman) and there is no more abuse present. Strange but all it took was me finally getting the guts to absolutely walk away.

Although i can honestly say that there are too many people who turn a cheek and not offer any help. Resources arent aggressive enough and cops (in my experience) have no heart behind that badge. How positively frightening it is to feel so alone. I swear the rest of my days that whenever i see a person (yes, men can be abused) needs help.. I'm there in a heartbeat!!
 sweetmama451960
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 29
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 10/15/2006 7:26:13 PM
This is a very touchy subject for me.....

I spent over 20 yrs suffering verbal, emotional and other types of abuse...due to my strict catholic upbringing and the fact that i saw it in my own home growing up....I spent the first 10 yrs of this relationship not even realizing what he was doing was wrong....and when i did finally figure it out i had three babies and by then had very low self esteem and thought i was worthless , stupid and uable to do it on my own.

It took me 10 years to fianally get the nerve to leave....to be able to think that i was strong enough to do it on my own.....and when i did; i did it with flying colors......

I finally hit the breaking point; kicked him out, went back to school, graduated with honors and got a job that paid more then he ever brought home.......

why do women stay......well for one it is hard to leave....we are scared, we think that what we are going through is hard but alone will even be harder....
we are scared of what he might do.....we are scared to go out on our own....thinking "I am not good enough"...."I will never get a job"...."I cannot do it" because that is what we are told.....

but beleive me when i say that LADIES......you can leave and you can do it and you can get out and live a full and proper life......

it has been four years for me and after I left him i felt like i was walking taller....there was such a heavy burden lifted off my shoulder......this has been the best four years of my life....i became a better parent because i was no longer angry....I became a better person because i learnt to like myself and who i am....I became an independant. strong. woman and like who i am......If I would have left sooner when i was not ready things might not have turned out as well for me....


now i love life....and love myself and who i am......
 hello_kitty
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 37
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Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:57:58 AM
"LOVE/HOPE: He is not always brutal…She hopes he will change, and the [abuse] will stop…An abused partner still loves the abuser even though he [abuses] her.

FEAR : She believes his threats to beat or kill her, the children, her family if she leaves him…He’s done it before, she fears he will do it again. [If he hasn't become physically violent yet, she fears that he will do so]

SOCIETAL PRESSURE: Society has conditioned women to believe their primary duty is to keep the family together no matter what…She would be admitting failure…She may have been successful in other areas of her life and believes that if she works hard enough she can also have a successful relationship or marriage.

LACK OF SUPPORT: Family members are threatened physically... After repeated attempts to help, family may distance themselves from the victim...Friends don’t want to get involved…Isolation from family makes it difficult.

RELIGION: Divorce is not acceptable…Vow was to love, honor, and obey.

EMBARASSMENT, SHAME, GUILT: She doesn’t want her family to find out…If her family likes him, they may not believe her or they might blame her…If she is the wife of a prominent citizen she may worry about how the publicity will effect his reputation, career, and whether people will believe her.

FEELS RESPONSIBLE: She doesn’t know anyone else being beaten, so she must be doing something wrong…She believes what her abusive partner says that somehow it’s all her "fault", therefore he had to beat her.

SURVIVAL IS ALL SHE THINKS ABOUT: All her energy and thoughts are focused on surviving…Formulating a plan to leave is overwhelming…Trauma is similar to that of a prisoner of war who is reduced to the level of mere existence and survival.

HAS NO PLACE TO GO: She may not know about shelters or lack transportation…She has worn out her welcome at mom’s, sister’s, etc.

ECONOMIC DEPENDENCE: Many batterers have strict control over the purse strings…Husband convinces her that she will not receive any child support if she "abandons" the family…Over 50% of victims have no marketable skills…Feels she can endure beatings so that children have more financial advantages.

[An IMPORTANT and too-often-overlooked detail as regards Verbal/Emotional abuse: You can have someone arrested for physical violence; There is no way to legally stop, limit or punish someone who abuses with words]

From Houston police: http://www.houstontx. gov /police/fvu_leave.htm


First of all, many women do leave. Battered women are not passive victims who merely accept the abuse. They are constantly working to stop the violence, and to protect their children from its direct or indirect effects. Sometimes battered women deny or minimize psychological impact of the abuse.

The fact that a battered woman stays with an abuser may reflect the fact that our society has not made it clear that battering is unacceptable, and has not provided sufficient support for the victims of violence to be able to leave.

A woman often stays because, at least in the early stages of the battering, she sincerely hopes that her partner will change, and that the battering will stop.

When it becomes clear that this is not going to happen, she may well try to leave or get help. Her partner may threaten her with even more violence or other hurtful actions if she leaves - and she knows that her partner is capable of carrying out these threats. Many batterers threaten to get a court order for custody of the children if she leaves.

From: http://www. helpingspiritlodge. org/violence.htm#why


There are lots of reasons that it can be difficult to get out of a violent relationship. A batterer doesn't usually start hitting his wife or girlfriend out of the blue -- it usually starts after a history of verbal and emotional abuse: insulting her and chipping away at her sense of self-worth. Typically, by the time the physical violence begins, her self-esteem is seriously damaged. Usually, violence isn't constant but comes in cycles, with a "honeymoon" period after the violent episode when the batterer says that he's sorry and that it will never happen again. The victim might really love her partner -- she probably just wants the violence to end, not the whole relationship. She may also think that she can change him.

And there are other factors as well: the victim may fear for her life. She may have financial worries, and fear for the safety of her children.

It takes a lot of courage to end any relationship. If there's violence involved, it can take a whole lot more.

From: http:// www. endabuse. org/qabanners/qadaily/index.php3?Question=17


It's a wonder why we always ask, "Why doesn't she leave?" Instead, we should be asking more appropriate questions such as, "Why does he think it is okay to abuse her and why does our society continue to allow this to happen?"

Myth: The victim can always walk away from the relationship.

Truth: Victims usually do not have any place to go where they will be safe from the abuser. Because of the ongoing history of the abusive relationship, the abuser knows all of the victim’s options and can follow the victim there. Sometimes it’s safer for the victim to stay with the abuser for the time being than try to escape.

From: http://www. ewu. edu /x36674.xml


If that isn't enough, just g00gle the following:

+"why doesn't she leave?" = 601 hits

+"why doesn't she leave" +abuse = 327 hits

+"why doesn't she leave?" +abuse verbal emotional = 57 hits


Just educate yourself, people, the info is out there."

~all of this great info. courtesy of the posts by "YourGirl". my best friend is currently sharing a roof, while between other places to live, with an abusive sadistic ex. this monster will never change and is about to cut off the net, her only way left of contact with others; no phone, t.v. or getting together with friends is allowed, or he throws a violent fit and makes more threats. unfortunately, all of the women like her mother and sister have no self esteem, still tolerate nothing but abuse from their relationships, trying to numb their pain in a 40 oz. bottle of gin and various other daily addictions. they live in denial and hate my best friend for being sober and refusing to settle for what they have. nobody but her sees anything sick and twisted in all of these situations, so it's a solo battle for freedom. don't ever give up, back down or let anyone try to convince you that you deserve this bullshit.
 ChaoticDreamer
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 43
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/4/2006 11:59:45 PM
I have to say it sickens me to see people who have never been in such a situation to judge those abusee. DO NOT blame the one that has been abused....it is the abuser that is totally at fault.

No...I have never been in an abusive relationship but I have dealt with those that have been abused both physically and mentally for years because of a past job. Do you honestly think it's that wasy for a woman to just walk away ?

The abuser plays so many head games that the one being abused feels there is no escape, no hope. Place yourself in a woman's shoes that is being abused and think of how scared she might be when the abuser is contantly telling her that he is going to kill her if she tries to leave. That he is going to bring harm to her family or even children should she try to leave. An abuser is going to mentally beat you into the ground until you feel there is no escape...no escape other than wishing and hoping that one day when he beats you you'll die and end the pain and insanity. After he beats you...he cries, begs and apologizes profusely and declaires how much he loves you and doesn't want to lose you. In your mind...you believe him or atleast you want to believe him. He is attentive to you for days on end trying to prove his love and you fall for it and start to feel that love all over again for him. Then one day *WHAM!* It's such a sick cycle that these women go through. Understand it messes with them mentally in such ways that it becomes a mental disease.

Don't think for a minute that a *protection from abuse order* is always going to help either. Yes, it's a good idea to get one but as scary as it is...someone's a *PFA* only incites more trouble and I have seen the horrible things a man has done to a woman that has gotten that type of a court order against her abuser. I myself...with my own eyes witnessed a man that walked up and stabbed his wife to death on the very same day she obtained that *PFA*. News of such heinous acts is publicized and places even more fear into those that are in abusive relationships.

Everyone can sit here and say they'll beat the crap out of a man that tries to beat them. Everyone here can sit and say they'll never allow themselves to be placed into such a situation. Yet....you don't know how you would react unless you have been placed in this type of situation.

BTW....it's not only women who suffer through mental and physical abuse.
 ChaoticDreamer
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 44
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 12:02:23 AM
Joc19lyn....it's beyond me how you can state: *I feel sorry for the girls that play THAT game*. What game is that and how can you refer to this as a game? There are no winners here! You make it sound as if they chose to be put into these horrible situations
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 45
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 12:25:19 AM
Women Dan????
Are you kidding.
It's the women who are the verbal abusers. Not only are they abusers but they take a totally sick , perverted, pride interdating thier men like dirt
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 46
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 12:30:10 AM
Many things, that are listed as wife bashing, are never listed as husband bashing. Try this collection, of definitions of battered wives, from the Darebin Community Centre in Northcote.

• Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells?
• Are you told what to do, when to do it, what to wear?
• Do you have to account for your time?
• Are you forced to have sex when you don't want to?
• Are you made to feel scared?
• Are you hit, kicked or pushed around? Do you have things thrown at, or near you?
• Are you cut off from family and friends?
• Is your partner possessive or jealous?
• Does your partner control you and the money?


Typical examples of wife abuse? Think again.


- The average husband DOES feel as if he’s walking on eggshells every time his bowels fail suddenly, and he makes a hasty dash from the garden to the toilet with anything on his boots. (If a wife threw up in his car, with a touch of morning sickness, and he yelled at her, it would certainly be listed as abuse.)


- The average husband is told what to do by his wife absolutely all the time. Including how to do things that she has no knowledge of.
Something goes wrong and the average wife is promptly screaming at her husband “DO SOMETHING” That’s domestic violence! That’s husband bashing!

(A great many wives still take some sort of sick pride in this form of husband bashing frequently bragging to the girlfriends about how helpless her husband would be if she wasn’t there to tell him what to do. I know I’m gettting confrontational now but how many times have you heard these control freaks, actually boasting about the way that they abuse their husbands in this manner


- The average husband does have to account for his time. Each and every time he works back late. He’s routinely accused of infidelity even though he’s got the overtime money to prove otherwise. The real truth is that the workplace often feels more like a home than his home. Particularly if home means “walking on eggshells” all the time.


- The average husband is hit, kicked, and pushed around. The shelters and the law list every angry shove, by a short tempered husband, as wife bashing. Ask around your own office. Do you have a single female staff member who as NEVER, given her man an impatient shove?


- The average husband is very much cut off from family and friends. Her family is welcome in the home, his are not. His friends are usually his workmates and they are not welcomed into the home.


The Darebin Community Centre has got one thing right. All of these forms of abuse are still abuse. Blood doesn’t need to flow before abuse occurs.

But all of these forms of abuse are considered the normal way to treat a husband.


A man, even talking back, or expressing his own opinions, is rapidly being listed as a wife basher these days. A wife, continually hurling, both abuse, and kitchen knives, at a husband is rarely listed as a husband basher. Not even when the man is dragged into hospital with a gushing jugular vein. A woman has to actually kill her husband, or her bash victims have to be children before she is charged
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 48
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:49:29 AM
People do such things because of 'lack of self-esteem'.

Most all mental 'problems' stem from self-esteem issues - on BOTH sides. Abuse, alcohol/drug abuse, gambling, etc..

The abusive guy - was raised and/or has learned - 'this is what you do to make yourself feel better about....'.

The victim has learned that 'you deserve this because you are not worthy of better...'

Wake up, get real, get some help if you need it (a shrink) to help you with your self-esteem problems. The sooner you 'get it', the better off you and those around you will be.

DO NOT sit there and take this type of SH^T and carry this type of thing with you your whole life.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!
 rac917
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 52
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 8:14:14 AM
I agree with you. Somehow they have a way of brainwashing you into thinking YOU are at fault and YOU are the problem. YOU make them do what they do to you. Then you begin to disect yourself into not existing at all. You can't have feelings and thoughts because they are wrong. You are lucky that they want you cause no one else would have you. But you've just got to change for them. Then when even you do exactly what they say to the letter, they never told you any such thing and it starts all over. It's a visious cycle and they are in control.
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 56
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 9:15:24 AM
what about men in abusive relationships??
 MacGregrrrr
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 9:44:10 AM
what about men in abusive relationships??

It's similar in some ways - men will say "they fell down the stairs" rather than have their friends laugh at them (for being "beaten up by a woman"), when in fact the men have demonstrated remarkable restraint and aplomb by not responding in kind to actual acts of physical violence visited upon them by their spouse.

In other instances the men "try to make it work", out of loyalty or a sense of honouring the commitment "for better or for worse" (when it fact it sometimes turns out to have been worse for them to stay - I recall the friends of one woman remarking that her husband "must have had the patience of a saint [for putting up with her for so long]", which I've always taken as an indication that others would have left long before he did ...

Thus, the common thread is that of "shame" (keeping spouses in abusive relationships), when in fact it's a shame that they've stayed.

Sometimes ya gotta get out, in order to take care of the kids (and yourself) $0.02
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 59
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 9:59:27 AM

the female is so shot down mentally that she no longer feels good enough to move out or on with her life! The relationship doesn't START that way... After a while it ends up being a CONTROL thing on his side! She feels worthless, no longer feels wanted or needed by anyone else!


I've never once felt no one would love me if i got out.I've always known i could survive on my own. That was not the issue.
With kids.. some women, like myself, simply fear what the kids will witness or experience if the mother tries to leave. We are trying to protect the child. Some women are so scared they will get hurt/killed and then who will care for the child? The whole time I was with him and in fear.. I used to wish there was some man big and strong (brother,friend,relative) to kick his ass and help me leave. But there's no one.


Yes, all it really takes is courage and kids really are resiliant to anything. Its a big hurdle but it can be done.
 SoTexMan
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 62
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/5/2006 11:06:36 AM
Hey, all:

Hey, Your Girl:

In your Msg #13 You refer to "blaming the victim". While I won't deny that attitude happens--it would stupid, blind and ignorant to do so--I think the question 'Why doesn't she leave?' is another way of saying 'Please leave'. Just as if one might ask someone 'Wouldn't you like to do/say/go...?', instead of saying 'Please do/say/go...'. In many cases it is a matter of tone and presentation that makes the difference.

---------------------

I come from a minority position here in that I was verbally abused by the woman I was married to, and many of the conditions referred to in spousal abuse of women apply to men as well. Please, don't anyone misunderstand, this is not a case of 'well, she did it too!' I merely point it out because I can empathize and even sympathize with some of the women who have been verbally abused.

In my case I lost track of who I was--in order to please someone with whom I thought there was mutual, limitless love and respect. To keep her happy I started lying, which led to depression and anti-depressant drugs--not a happy period of my life at all. I stayed in it for 2 years because of the simple vow ' 'til death do us part'. Fortunately, I eventually saw the hypocrisy in that and moved out. After the divorce, I found the veil had lifted and I flushed the anti-depressants down the 'twa let'! Somewhere for a short time there were some real mellow fish, in the effluent of a sewage plant.

The range of responses is from taking off at the first sign of abuse, all the way--sadly--to murder at the hands of a spouse. Lack of self-esteem and deception on the part of the abuser, often matches with the lack of self-esteem and trust on the part of the abused.

There are certainly no easy answers, but it certainly starts with better family and communication skills. This is distilled into one word--education.

David


Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun!
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 66
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:15:52 AM
anth/rac

You two need to read up some on such 'issues'.

The abuser has 'learned' via their life experiences and has become skilled at 'playing' those around them. Yes, brainwashing is one of their techniques.

Yes, to be certain - the person staying might well have kids and be 'afraid' of what is out there should she leave. However, he/she is afraid - why? - low self-esteem. "no one will want me...", "I can't do it alone - I need them."

You are wrong - these people are this way because something has caused them to be such.

I heard someone once say "children are born into the world perfect"..... It isn't until society, peers, parents, etc all get their hands on them that they become 'not perfect'. Okay.

You, me, everyone have their issues. However, I do not make my issues effect someone else.

The sooner these people get some 'help' - the sooner they can see the light and have a good life. Whether or not that means staying or going.

K?
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 67
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:31:11 AM
Whitetigress,

It is the same for the guy in an abusive relationship.

I was in one for four years - on again - off again. She would go off on these blind rages. Verbally trashing me.

WT, while I will admit to being human and having shortcomings. I am a nice guy - really. All my friends know me and know this.

However, she would just take these silly little things (now when I look at it) and go crazy on/about them.

Bottom line - I stayed - 'cause I felt that I could 'fix' it. After all trying, I was emotionally drained. I went back the last time and started up with her yet again. This time - I said to myself - 'if it happens again - walk out and don't look back'. Well, it took about 3 or 4 months - it happened and I walked. I did not look back.

It took me about a year before I could look at myself in the mirror and not think I was some terrible human being for all of these 'things' that she found me guilty of (self-esteem issues). She had me convinced. Finally, I overcame that. After I left here, all of my friends told me that they were so happy for me for leaving. They told me they had seen it and what it did to me and wanted to tell me to 'get out', but didn't.

People - no one is deserving of this type of treatment. Verbal, physical abuse - matters little. It undermines you and how you feel about yourself. You have to break the chain.

Yes, it takes courage.

Now, too - lets be clear here what we are talking about. No - we are NOT talking about your partner occasionally making you sleep in the wet spot. Nor are we talking about leaving the cap off the toothpaste. We are talking about 'abuse' not annoyances. I am not telling you to walk out because they left the toilet seat up again.

K?
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 71
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:37:30 AM
They stay in abusive relationships because they do not value themselves enough to exit and find better... or too afriad to be alone.
Both are bad things.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 82
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 6/20/2007 12:14:59 PM
mocksy25 on 6/20/2007 243 AM
Subject: Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Message: I dont want to call these women stupid, but eh, when u first meet a man, u can tell his whole character, by the way he treats u all the little things, and more women shoudd take self defense classes god, stop letting yourself get beatin, god damit when are men, and women going to be equal, would that be so bad, some peace enough already


ahh.... the voice of youth first impression are a lot of times BS just a mask that people show to the world even more so when it comes to the dating game
 liberty woman
Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 6/20/2007 12:28:29 PM
Because this is an illness just as drug or alcohol addiction, the woman who supports this type of abuse or beatings is just as sick as he is and the deeper she gets into the relationship the worst it becomes.
I was in one of these relationships, where for no reason whatsoever he would beat the daylight out of me, once I ended up in the emergency room of a hospital, and the most embarassing part of this story was when I woke up,( because he knocked me out cold)
I heard the doctor say"this woman was beaten up by her husband, she has a concussion and must be taken to x-ray", I couldn`t feel the right side of my face. Shame overcame me because I come from a good home where things like this didn't happen. It went on for a while until I saw the story of Lorena Bobbitt, I am sure many of you will remember her, the girl who cut off her husband's ..... and threw it away on the highway. I didn't cut it off, but whilst he was asleep I held on to it very hard, nudged him so he'll wakeup, in my right hand I had a very sharp -----, when he saw what he thought I was about to do, he cried and begged forgiveness. I felt very sorry for him, he looked so pathetic begging, fear was on the other foot now, I felt as if I had taken a heavyweight of my body. I can assure you he never ever raised his hand to hit a woman again, and changed 100 percent.

He made me lose my self esteem by inflicting fear, like I said I come from a good home and I didn't want anyone ,especially my family to know that I was a victim of violence, it was just to shameful.
I thank the Lord that I am a catholic and believe in him other wise I will have sent him to hell and spent 15 to 20 years in jail for a scum who is not worth anything.
Get out of that relationship and seek psychiatric help, because you will need it, remember you are a sick person and you will pass this on to your next partner, you are accustomedd to being abused and will do things for him to abuse you.
Hope this helps you in some way.
 MB58SC
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 89
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Why do some women stay in abusive relationships?
Posted: 6/21/2007 7:13:11 AM
Because of fear.
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