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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are people these days 'too picky'...      Home login  
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 stoneside
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 5
Are people these days 'too picky'...Page 1 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I'm not picky, I want, what I want and if there is ANYTHING about them I don't like, then NEXT.

Yes, I think the internet offers alot of options and people want to keep "shopping".
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 6
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/18/2006 3:12:53 PM
Are we just being picky or are we being wisely selective.

My vote is for wisely selective.

If we have matured, we now know who we are and what we want.

It would be unwise to give up being "picky", and get involved in a relationship that we know won't work.

Being wisely selective may leave us alone longer, but it will save us from drama we don't need in our lives.
 jdtallfem
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 25
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/18/2006 4:46:51 PM
I think people who date online especially can become too picky, because they use a profile and a picture as an excuse not to get to know someone. In St Louis I actually worked for a dating service and watched as people eliminated people right and left who had many valuable qualities, only to "fall for them" later at a party or other singles function. Don't dismiss someone just because they don't seem your type when you see someone online. You're really only getting a snapshot. What's the effort to go get a cup of coffee and make a friend? If nothing else it can expand your social network and you never know. The person you might dismiss might become the love of your life.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 28
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/18/2006 5:31:57 PM
Yes, people are way too picky. We should take anything that is offered; we should settle on the first person who shows an interest. Why wait? There might be better mates out there, but who knows? Why take a chance? Getting married is certainly the prime objective of every human being, and being married to someone who is stupid, rude, vicious, abusive, void of emotion, butt-ugly, weighs 500 pounds, picks his/her butt/nose in public, boring, oversexed or undersexed, lived with his/her mother until he/she was 45, or is consistently unemployed . . . being with someone like that is better than not being with anyone at all.

Isn't it?
 MoparGuy69
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 29
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/19/2006 8:00:00 PM
Yes, people i feel in my opinion put to much emphasis on looks. I always say to people there is more to someone then a pretty face. I myself, try to get to know someone and be there friend first. I will be honest looks are nice to have but people need to be more realistic. When i see someone who is very attractive nine times out of ten they have an attitude. I could be wrong though. Don't hold me to it. I do have some friends that are looking for a freakin model and i tell them you are wasting your time. He sais i chose to be that way! if i am not attracted to them, i am not going out with them. I guess everyone has there illusive image of what they want.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 33
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/19/2006 8:18:30 PM
Pickiness is making sure that you are with the RIGHT person for the long haul.
 michaels in orlando
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 34
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/19/2006 8:24:52 PM
I think everyone is a little picky. I dont want to date a girl who doesnt see something special in me and me see something special in her
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 39
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/19/2006 8:54:15 PM
OK, let's all stop being too picky.

Rush right into our next bad relationship, and live with the drama of getting ourselves out of it.

Who's going to be first?

Hey, think of all the new thread material we can get.
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 42
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/19/2006 9:46:43 PM
yes people are too picky , dumpster girl never chose me .
 AprilRaine
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 45
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/21/2006 6:13:41 PM
Blue Eyed Fun...Bravo! Very well stated. As I mentioned on another post, I will never settle for less than I want again. That said, however, I know that what I seek may not be apparent at first glance. That's why people need to get beyond emailing and phone calls to actually meet in person...then date more than once before deciding, "Nah...he's(she's) not the one for me." You might not know unless you date them for a WHILE. People tend to judge too quickly anymore. They need to get to know them better, to understand why they do or act they way they do. It's kind of like the old adage of "walk a mile in his moccasins".
 SEENREAD
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 58
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/22/2006 11:47:09 AM
The woman on here are low quality and most are ****es
 NoStringsAttachedEver
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 60
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/22/2006 12:09:38 PM
I don't think people are too "picky"

I think most people don't know

1) What they want
2) How to articulate what they want
3) How to screen out non candidates so they can focus on getting to know the people with what they want

I think people don't do a good enough job discussing what they absolutely cannot live with and what they expect as a minimum standard.

Can people be too "picky", I'd say no. Its their preferences. I can say though that people can have unrealistic expectations of what they want versus what they have to offer. I think people spend far too much time getting offended by rejection than working on things that will help them have more to offer a potential relationship.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 73
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:00:51 PM
Perfection isn't what most are expecting to find. Most are more than realistic about "who" they are wanting to meet. At my age, I've lived enough life to know that my relationships in the past need to be a map of what NOT to do again. That includes (but not limited to) intelligence, sense of humor, professional drive, interests, passions, values, morals, etc. Physically ~ I am open. The other traits ~ definitely NOT. Nor will I compromise what I want ~ because it's what I can offer in return. It's not perfection I seek ~ it's compatibility.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 80
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:22:15 PM
The Scribe,

You are NOT ugly! You look fine to me. I hope you do meet someone special.

DW
 belly18dancer
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 84
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/15/2006 12:41:18 PM
I agree...as you get older, you become wiser and you know what is going to work for you and what isn't....

it's not about being picky...it's about selecting someone well suited for youself...If I had been pickier when i was younger, I wouldn't have gotten married then divorced...I will never take marriage so lightly again...if I am to do it again...it will be RIGHT this time...

I won't settle for less...and being alone and having peace is better than being with a person that is wrong for u and being miserable
 innocentantic
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 95
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/15/2006 6:44:21 PM
so, it's good to be picky, but it's bad to be too picky that we end up alone, right?

I don't know that anyone can say that "people" are too picky. I see many people that I think settle, and some that pass up perfectly wonderful people for superficial things.

I've had my share of relationships that I didn't need to have... I'm definitely going to be more picky from now on. I hope the women that date me are more picky, too. All the better recipe for success, I think.
 Sparklin
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 108
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:36:28 PM
Why lower our standards? If there is a certain criteria that I can not live without, why bother going through the motions if he doesn't fit it. There are far too many 'fish' in the sea to settle!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 111
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:47:16 PM
Picky is the bad word, selective is the nicer word. However you say it, we should be picky/selective. There has to be some standards, some idea of what we want otherwise we'd just pick anyone who asked. That's a recipe for disaster for both people, although all too often we've known those who chose a partner out of convenience or just being tired of being alone. Those types of situations are short lived and both usually end up bitter and disappointed.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 118
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:15:31 PM
OP.....
I don't know about the rest of guy's but I suspect they find the same thing is true with them....
I think that for some reason women on internet dating over rate themselves .....looks wise ,
I find that I get many many mails from women who I just couldn't be attracted to ...
I am not overly picky but I am "normal" and have been told I'm atleast reasonably good looking ....or better (-;.....but so what ....looks aren't everything and I think having a good character is more important .....but.....
I think that a woman has to be attractive for me to be interested ......I guess the reasonably attractive women get so much attention that they can act like they are totally exclusive ....but I think thing's work best when you are evenly matched and they definately won't work if you aren't attracted .....and I don't know what attractive women's priorities are ?? or who they are going for???
What I'd like to say to some of them is ......so big deal you are good looking ....thats only one part of it ......and you're not that good looking !!! LOL
 Rebellious
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 129
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/7/2006 7:57:03 AM
Picky? We all crave something, that's normal. Pickyness is a state of mind, what you DO about it is what matters.

If lighting strikes twice and I find that special woman AGAIN, that would be magic. But in the meanwhile I'm enjoying life, I'm not sworn to celibacy like a catholic priest, and I'm not a saint. Life is not in the past or in the future, it is RIGHT NOW in the present moment. The past is gone and the future may never be. So ALL the women in my life are PERFECT because together we can rediscover our child-like attributes . . . spontaneous enjoyment, be selfish, take all you can, give all that you have. Practice makes perfect . . . and you just never know




,,,
 depth_of_life
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 131
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:04:30 AM
"picky" is not the right word. "Options" is more what I see being the problem. There was a time not too long ago in the pre-puter world when u had a few guys in ur town or around u and those were your only choices. Live with it, love it and go on... there was no internet with hundreds of non attainable people. It's like ice cream when u had vanilla and chocolate you ate it with joy and never craved or wanted for any other flavors. bingo bango basken robbins now u stand there frozen like an idiot in your decision not knowing what the hell u want rushing thru your first lick to hurry and try another flavor just in case it tastes better!!lol
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 134
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:29:46 AM
How can anyone be too picky? I'll never understand the concept behind that line of thinking. I look at it this way: In life you have two choices - getting what you want or settling for less. Why in God's name would you ever settle for less? When you settle, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment because in the back of your mind you're always going to wonder "Could I have done better?" or worse "Could I do better?"

And worse, how would you like to feel as though the person you're with "settled" for you? That's awful! I would never want anyone to "settle" for me. What an insult.

Furthermore, what does it say for your self-esteem if you're asking if people's standards are too high? My God! That's essentially the same as saying "I may not be exactly what you want, but I'm a fairly good option - though not the best - and I think you should 'settle' for me instead of waiting it out to find a better guy/girl."

Ridiculous.
 SweetCheeksSD
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 139
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/7/2006 11:19:28 AM
Hmmm....I'd concider myself picky. Is this why I'm single? H3ll no! I just don't want to be in a relationship right now. I like being single and able to talk freely with whom ever I want and chill with whom ever I want.
 SweetCheeksSD
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 140
Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/7/2006 11:22:46 AM

I think that for some reason women on internet dating over rate themselves .....looks wise ,


Men and women alike....but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I also believe there are many who under rate themselves. Most times because they've been through some form of abuse and made to think that way of themselves.
 SthrnButtrfly
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 153
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Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/7/2006 5:34:47 PM
[ I am torn on this. On one hand I am more mature and now know what I want and that to me is a selectiveness I need to maintain for my own peace of mind, but on the other hand I do find some people are becoming way to picky as well. Being able to determine what you want and what you are looking for is a good thing but when you are so strict on the limitations you put on it and do not give even an inch you are closing many doors on yourself as well.

There are a lot of people out there who may not seem like they are what you are looking for but without exploring at all you will never find the hidden inner qualities they have to offer either. Many people have the potential to grow with you together but a lot of people now are only looking surface and are missing a lot when it comes to the whole picture.

I just think we need to find that happy medium, if we did it may benefit all involved ]

DITTO!!!!! If I don't open my eyes and take a chance on someone who may be NOT what I think I am looking for, I may miss my chance at finding the perfect man for me....I gave up on have a certain "type" of man years ago...they were nuthing but trouble. soon as I opened up my world to different "types" of me, I have had more fun and learned so much more about myself and the men I have dated....
The saying never judge a book by its cover, has proven itself right to me many times...
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