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 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 1
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Betrayed again .Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
This is a difficult thing to write about for me , but plentyoffish has been such a wonderful outlet for venting feelings for me, so here goes. I have a very dear female friend who has this tremendous need to recieve male attention. She in the past year has spent every weekend we have gone out together working the room and quite often taking home a new and different guy each week. This never really bothered me until some of the guys became emotionally involved with her. She has hurt two really nice guys she lead on and dumped. She very recently started seeing a good male friend of mine who she started up with the same weekend she dumped another guy. Both of these guys are long distance relationships so she was still able to play around close to home without anyone being the wiser. Tonight she went to far. I recently started seeing someone. She knows I really like him she even told him that he better not hurt me or he will have to deal with her. Tonight my friend spent the whole evening flirting with my guy. He had a bit to much to drink and he was flirting right back. He told me that he sees why she goes from man to man that he is even attracted to her. He did leave with me , but my feelings are so hurt by her actions. I have been seeing him for over a month now, and felt we were off to great start. I am not good with confrontations , please may I have some words of wisdom. :(
 always_striving
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 2
Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:30:01 AM
Your gonna have to distance yourself from her.....to be blunt.
 VeryPrivate
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 3
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 3:13:37 AM
There is a difference between an ‘acquaintance’ and a ‘friend’. say goodbye...
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 4
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/5/2005 4:35:18 PM
Thank you all for your comments and advise. Someone had mentioned her behavior did not bother me until she did it to me , which was not the case at all . I did not question or condemn her lifestyle for casual sex until she started hurting people. If all participants know from the get go that this is for sex and sex only then its their choice to make. I did talk to my boyfriend the next day and he feels like there is something wrong with her. I commented that if she had the opportunity she would have tried to sleep with him regardless of my feelings. He said he would not have happenned. I do not want to lose her as a friend but I have decided to let her know she hurt me alot . Friends do not do this to friends. I believe someone else may have mentioned that perhaps i was being too sensitive to all this , but other friends noticed her flirting as well. My other friends and I would watch in amazement as she chose her nightly target and had him captured within moments. We would even joke with her about her *skills* .Soon it wasnt funny anymore when I found her outside kissing another friends boyfriend on a night she didnt come out with us. Even though there is alot of good in her there is something thats not right. She shows no remorse when she hurts someone, it should be interesting to see how she reacts to my feelings. She has invited us both to her house for dinner and movies on Monday night , I am not feeling comfortable now about going. There will be other friends there .
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 5
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/7/2005 11:41:53 PM
I sent my friend a heart felt E mail . I let her know how she hurt me and called her out on some of her behavior . I wrote the letter choosing my words carefully as to not hurt her feelings. The result was that she left me a phone message and essentailly told me that if she is such a bad friend then i do not need her in my life, she said goodbye and wished me a good life. We have never had a disagreement before this and she is willing to just toss our friendship aside. I am so hurt by her actions and now her reactions.
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 6
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/8/2005 10:36:56 AM
Knight , I truely thought she was a friend and a good one , Ive learned alot about her this last week. Its up to her now , I will no longer try to keep the friendship going even though it saddens me to do so.
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 7
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 7:06:58 AM
Today my friend is moving to Tallahasse to start a new job. I wanted to call her to wish her well and had to stop myself. We were suppose to get together in two weeks to go to two parties in Fort Walton beach and Pensacola. I am still planning to go to these parties , and its going to be a very akward situation being there with her and she not speaking to me. In april we are going to cabin in the mountains in Georgia. Once again a very akward situation, 16 friends in a cabin and she givng me the silent treatment. Her boy friend who is a good friend of mine says she will not even discuss me at all , he will try to get her to mend fences. Thank goodness this has not effected our friendship. I introduced the two of them. I am just praying she does not hurt him. My boyfriend has been very supportive about this situation with my friend , he has felt awful that he played a part in this at all. He even talked to her boyfriend on my behalf to let him know that it was indeed she who was doing the major come on to him. My take on the situation is this , my friend thinks very highly of herself she has created this persona that she has come to believe herself.She Believes she is a perfect invidiual that can do no wrong. I have tarnished her pefect image and this is too much for her to handle.I miss her but Que Sera Sera, what will be will be.
 Domeroth
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 8
Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 7:15:54 AM
Girls like that don't deserve friends like you.

She'll learn, when she's all alone. Which is why I kinda feel sorry for 'players', because I've seen it over and over again. When the games over, they are all ALONE.

Why? Because nobody trusts them. They have nobody to fall back on except for people that are being fakely kind to them out of sympathy. When deep inside they knew what kind of aweful behavior they portrayed.

You sound like a nice woman, so I suggest if you are going to let your man drink, make sure you are the only one around. I see something bad happening if you don't.

Too much booze makes people not think streight.

Take care.
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 9
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 10:47:58 AM
Thank you for the good advise Domeroth and Agstang, It seems any further effort on my part would be futile or fall on deaf ears anyway. She told another mutual friend that she is peeved at me and that she has nothing to apologize for and does not intend to do so. I am the one that was wronged and hurt , and still willing to continue the friendship and she is upset because her halo that she believes she wears is tarnished. She will find herself lonely and without friends one day because very few will be as forgiving as I.
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 10
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 10:41:16 PM
Agstang once again good advice and a point well taken. Star my boyfriend and I are still on solid ground, he did not instigate the problem and was sorry ,very sorry for the role he played in this. He was just enjoying all the attention she was giving him and the alchohol didnt help matters. He is not interested in her at all. He is a very good guy with a kind heart. We are still getting to know one another and have a good start so far.
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 12
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 11:14:39 PM
IWork4KyzrSoze "I realize now that there are friends for a REASON, friends for a SEASON, and friends for a LIFETIME. She was a seasonal friend"

This really hit home with me. For a lifetime friend would not have reacted in the manner she did when I expressed my feelings to her. She was able to discard me as easily as she discards the men that drift into her life. We share many mutual friends so it now presents a challenge in my life, we will often be in the same place at the same time. However these friends do not know her as I do ,they will find out in time what I already know. I will not even have to say a thing about our discord. I do wish her well in what ever path her life leads her and bear her no Ill will.
 Dovestreasure
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 14
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/11/2005 9:48:20 AM
I do worry a bit about further damage she may cause. It is very important to her to maintain a certain image in the eyes of those who have yet to learn her short comings. She tries to portray that she is shy and a introvert , righteous and pure. These Mutual friends have not spent the time with her as I have. They live in the florida Panhandle. She is very different from the image she has protrayed to them. She is like a pirahanna where men are concerned. A man walks into a bar , she sees her prey , direct quote.. " Oh yummy I so want him" or "He so wants me" Then she sets out to get what she wants. She is good at what she does. On the rare nights where she does not get her prey she says " I think he must be gay" Or he has a girlfriend and if he didnt he would want me" Now that she has moved to Tallahassee she will get to see these friends more often then I. We use to travel together from Orlando to see them. Her true colors will show in time. I will just have to have faith that the friendships I have with our mutual friends are strong enough to sustain any damage she may try to do. Time will tell . I am going there again in two weeks.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 15
Betrayed again .
Posted: 5/1/2006 10:17:01 PM
I hate confrontations also. I had a very dear friend do the same thing to me at my birthday party and I haven't spoken to her since then.... She did other things that ticked me off and some others at my party. I've decided if she would do that to me.. .flirt with a guy she KNEW i was interested in (and she's married) just to make herself feel better about herself then I do not need her. I do not need friends who hurt me or make me feel bad. I've had friends for many years that have done things over and over.. and I always forgave them, until they went just one step too far then it was like.. BAM.. friendship over... I have enough going on in my life without some selfcentered "friend" taking advantage of me or embarrassing me. It shows no respect for you on her part. I demand respect if nothing else.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 16
Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/1/2018 7:39:55 PM
My advice is to leave your friend out of the equation when it comes to your relationships. Don't allow her to be present with the guys you date as she cannot be trusted! I find it weird when I hear that many women say, "he left me for my best friend". A true friend would not do this to you. Dump the friend, then work on finding you a man sans the best friend. Have you heard the term "frenomie" ? I would run from her as fast as you can. Then run into the arms of a truly nice man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no helping her as she does not feel it is a problem. DO NOT give her any info about your dating life!
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 17
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/2/2018 11:59:52 AM
The betrayal was over 13 years ago.

What's most impressive is somebody still has the same account for 13+ years.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 18
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/2/2018 6:09:43 PM
Hope i'm not still on here in 13 years.

Sounds like her friend has Histrionic personality disorder.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 19
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/2/2018 7:54:39 PM
I know I still will be, because I'm not willing to give up my freedom. (well, perhaps with Raquel Welch, but even then, I may change my mind.) Selling out for someone never works.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 20
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/2/2018 8:20:32 PM
I probably will be as well tbh.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 21
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/3/2018 9:33:51 AM
Wow.. this thread got dug up!! 2005? I hope she dumped that monkey branching whore and found a real friend.
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 22
Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/3/2018 9:57:17 AM
^^^
I hope she dumped that monkey branching whore and found a real friend.


Tell us how you REALLY feel, PennyAnte~

hahahaha

;-)
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 23
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/3/2018 11:23:30 AM

I hope she dumped that monkey branching whore and found a real friend.


Me, too.


Selling out for someone never works.


Exactly. It doesn't work in friendships, intimate relationships, work relationships, and the like.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 24
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/5/2018 3:21:00 PM
the OP's "Friend" has a mental health disorder that causes her to behave this way. She needs professional help, but will probably never acknowledge this fact, nor desire to seek counseling. Instead, she will only make excuses for herself and blame others for the consequences of her actions.

Everyone has met women like this. They all tell themselves that they are simply being charming and that men cannot resist them. They believe other women are "jealous" and "insecure" around them.

She is NOBDODY'S friend.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 25
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/5/2018 4:00:07 PM
LOL....the OP's friend could be dead by now....
why would someone dig up a thread that hasn't been posted in for 13 years????
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 26
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/8/2018 8:43:55 AM
^^^^^^^^^

I'm guessing because its a fairly common ongoing issue for many in similar circumstances. And this sort of situation keeps going on and on.

Same answer for everyone with "New" similar issues with "friend": Dump them. situation will only get worse. The more you let this type of woman know her behavior bothers you, the more she will do it.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 27
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Betrayed again .
Posted: 6/8/2018 6:57:29 PM

why would someone dig up a thread that hasn't been posted in for 13 years????

Because none of you bothers to create any new threads. Quite a few smart people here but they spend their time rambling on about who pays for a date on so far 8 different threads.
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