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 Deli Girl
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 1
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I met a man through work and we started off friends well one thing lead to another and we started seeing each other. While we were seeing each other he still remained with his girl friend. Now he is telling me that he is going to leave her and be with me but i have heard through the grape vine that he has done this before. I want to be with him but we have been together since october of 2005, almost a year and we are still in the same boat. What should I do, I am so confussed.
 iherdcats
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 2
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 10:12:05 AM
yes you need help! you are not dating him! you are cheating with him!
shake your head!

this guy is no more your b/f than he is the other one's... you have caught yourself a player.

what are you confused about?
 TDFTLOW
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 3
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I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 10:41:36 AM
>I met a man through work and we started off friends well one thing lead to another and we started seeing each other.

Spectacular, and most likely emotionally fulfilling.

>While we were seeing each other he still remained with his girl friend.

Then nothing began

>Now he is telling me that he is going to leave her and be with me but i have heard through the grape vine that he has done this before.

And will again most likely even if he does end things with her. Action does speak louder than words.

The problem with your confusion is the rewards you're feeling are giving you a veritable rush. No that part of it doesn't make you a bad person. However think of the king who's just been propositioned by a general from an opposing state.

Accept strategic information but dont place the traitorous general in any rank of importance. Loyalty is paramount from the begining. Without that there is basically no foundation on which to build even the most stable of illusions.
 Carol27
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 4
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 10:45:57 AM
Well, I would feel sorry for you if you hadn't known that he had a girlfriend to begin with. But here is the fact...you are a knowing participant in a cheating relationship. IMHO, you aren't any better than he is. And why would you think he wouldn't do the same thing to you?????? Who knows how many women he has on the side. Sheesh.

If you aren't bright enough to know what to do in this situation then there isn't even any use in telling you because it is plain common sense.
 virtualdemo
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 5
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 11:07:33 AM
No kidding! Cake and eating it too...

Drop him. Why put up with "someday"?

Doesnt honesty mean anything to you? Or for that matter, faithfulness? Also if he is doing this to his Girlfriend, what makes you think he wont do it to you?

There is more to a relationship than love....
 CandyxxxBabe
Joined: 5/30/2006
Msg: 6
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:17:07 PM

While we were seeing each other he still remained with his girl friend

That is a major warning this guy is a player!
****
Ok here is my advice.. Get rid of him or casually see him while looking for another great non- player guy.

Reason: He may leave the other girl BUT he is bound to find another woman and do the same thing to her. AND you deserve a great guy that you don't have to worry about cheating on you.

Good Luck!!
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 7
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:10:13 PM
you generally shouldn't be dating a co-worker. you choose a co-worker who is not emotionally available, you know he is seeing someone else for the entire time you are together with him. if you want him to be just yours, YOU AIN'T GONNA WIN THIS ONE honey. if you don't care who he dates, he'll do to you what he is doing with his other girlfriend.

hell maybe you can date other guys while continuing to date him.

personally if i were to date a co-worker i'd have been a bit more selective than you, deligirl--i wouldn't have approached her if i knew she had another bf.

if none of his behavior bothers you, continue to date him. otherwise, protect yourself, dump him; hopefully there will be no repercussions at work, but you gotta live in the bed that you made, so to speak. good luck.
 ubkobalt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 8
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:35:23 PM
Wait until he leaves his girlfriend.
Write PLAYER on his forehead with a permanent marker.
Ditch him.

I'm not sure what this accomplishes, but it sounds fun.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 9
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 2:17:47 PM
I say stay with him. Get him to leave his current girlfriend, love him, treasure him, be his best friend. And when he stops coming home on time, starts going out "with the boys" and forgets to call to let you know he's had car trouble and will be very late ~~ you can wonder where he is. Karma ~ it's a beautiful thing.
 rx777big
Joined: 1/21/2005
Msg: 11
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:48:29 PM
I like that and agree. Additionally, she must not be willing to be in a real committed relationship or she would not be dating this guy. I just think she needs to take some responsibility for this. No doubt she is being played but she knows it and continues. Or she is lying about this and playing a ruse on us all. So she is either laughing at us all or someone who should have been eliminated during the thinning of the herd.
 atouchoftink
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 12
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 6:26:49 PM
If I was his girlfriend I'd kick your _ _ _!!!!! Then I would super glue his Johnson to his stomach
 atouchoftink
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 13
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 6:33:05 PM
I agree with you completely.
 Montysworld
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 14
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I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:40:52 PM
I see two things wrong here, First,...I didn't see where you said either of you were exclusive to the other, he has a girlfriend and you have a profile on a dating site. And secondly I think any good and lasting relationship depends on two important characterstics, truth and honesty, not only from your partner but also from yourself. What out that much, your only wasting each others time, it might be fun and gratifying for the moment, but not very rewarding.
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 15
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:55:24 PM
well I'm confused as to why you would even contemplate sticking around and waiting for this guy.

you want to be with someones sloppy seconds?
 SHOTGUN285
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 16
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 7:26:12 AM
Not sure why you are confused. He's using you and betraying both you and his other g/f.

If he'll do this to her, he'll do it to you. If I were you I'd leave him, but make sure to let his g/f know what's been going on the past 10 months. Not to be mean or spiteful, but to help save her from an even bigger hurt on down the road once she figures out she's been played all this time.
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 17
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 7:27:11 AM
I think someone already said it.. but women like you piss me the f*ck off... you knowingly helped a man be unfaithful... if you were attracted to him and he you.... and he really wanted to make something of it... he should have left her... and you should have waited for him to do that... he is a lame excuse for a man... and you helped him to be it... a real woman would never help a man cheat... she would tell him to take care of his home first...

why women continue to do this is beyond me..... why do we insist on wanting a man that has no idea how to be faithful... who can't be alone so much so that he has to have someone on the back burner at all times...

if you don't know what to do and are truely confused... I feel for you... I can't imagine ever loving a man with so little character... but then again you are no prize either...

it would gross me out to know the nights he isn't in my bed he is probably in hers... and don't kid yourself... they are still having sex... even if he denies it...

b i t c h y.. yes I am about this topic...
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 18
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 8:25:23 AM
first of all... it is iiCe not lice... notice the two dots over the ii's

secondly... we live in a society that has an ongoing problem with justifying the poor behavior of others... and because of that we allow it...

"well she has low self esteem... thats why she blank blank blanks..."

"he was abused as a child... that is why he robs stores..."

sorry... but there comes a time where... unless you are clinically diagnosed with a mental health disorder.. you need to take responsibility for your actions... we can all make excuses... but that doesn't make it right...
 Mani
Joined: 5/17/2004
Msg: 20
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I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 11:16:24 AM
If you want him fight for him. You should not care what his gf feels. And don't worry about being called a bit ch for helping him cheat. I mean sometime, people get hurt and that's life. They get over it. Just be ready if he ever decides to trade you for someone better.
 SEENREAD
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 21
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:27:37 PM
She wants to be with him..
Shes a kid and so is he.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 22
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I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 6:39:51 PM

(OP) I want to be with him but we have been together since october of 2005, almost a year and we are still in the same boat. What should I do, I am so confussed.


The oracle says, "Have you considered giving him a gift certificate for a moving company?"
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 23
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/25/2006 8:12:15 PM
What's to be confused about??
He's another woman's man;! unless you LIKE being the "backup ride"? I certainly did not get that impression from your post...If it's been a year and he's still playing you, either you are OK with his game or you are really really REALLY naive( I was gonna say dumb but you've been beat up on enough tonight) For Pete's sake ditch this gameplayer and move forward with your life, here's a little tip, cheaters ALMOST NEVER leave their wife or 'real' girlfriend, you might get him if SHE throws his sorry ass in the gutter, then things will be just peachy until he finds some other fool to string along...
Cindy O
 Buttercupcassandra
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 24
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!?? YOU NEED HELP
Posted: 7/25/2006 10:38:01 PM
Why would you even give him that choice, imagine why he's not dumping her....cause you basically let it happen, this is why you should never ever do this plus karma....it will happen to you next time your in love with a guy, maybe some girl will flirt and cheat with him,... im not tryin to be mean, but if he has no respect for one girl he'll never be with just one, hun, i know trust me, i have an ***hole boyfriend and he has never done that but his friends have, chose a good one who loves you, and only you, its too much stress, dont you want him for yourself?
 TDFTLOW
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 25
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I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!?? YOU NEED HELP
Posted: 7/25/2006 11:00:57 PM
Just my opinion. But I think the situation the OP is in is an emotional high. Not something to be condemed. The situation surrounding the emotional high socially is considered a bad one.

However.

In recognizing this. The OP has requested supportive opinions to help making up her mind. In matters of the heart it is sometimes difficult for the mind to decide what is right and not.

Dumping on the OP when she clearly came here asking for direction isn't always a good idea. I mean she does recognize that there is a problem.

Lets look to Nietzsche for some advice.

"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love."

Ahh yes. That could be all she needs. Just to see the bigger picture.
 rochelann
Joined: 9/8/2005
Msg: 26
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/26/2006 1:15:16 PM
Grow a brain, sweetheart. You are being used. Bail, immediately and don't look back. If he will cheat on his current girlfriend, he will cheat on future girlfriend(s), including you.
 Alana2
Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 27
I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!
Posted: 7/26/2006 2:53:28 PM
All of the above is good advice, so what else can I add.

There is nothing for you to be confused about here.

You have a definite lack of character development and self-esteem.

Lose this jerk and start working on your own spiritual development.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I am dating a man who has a girlfriend HELP!!!