Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lesteran
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 2
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?Page 1 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
Sex on a first date isn't going to promote respect for yourself, and usually you will not get respect out of the other person because of it. I am not into sex on the 1st date but I know MANY ppl that are. So many times they come back about how nice he is, how they think they are sooooo compatable, etc... When they say they had sex on the first date I just laugh and tell them to expect booty call...which they get almost every time. The other times they just don't get a call back.

I am sure there are a few out there that have met their "true love" and slept with them on the 1st date, but I would hazard to say that is VERY rare.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 3
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:07:47 AM
I really need to feel I can trust and respect someone before I'd have sex with her. Barring that, I don't really put a 'time limit' on it. But trust usually takes a while -- certainly more than one date unless you've known her for years.
 booty_licious
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 17
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 12:07:03 PM
If I have had sex on a first date, thats all it will be. Just sex. I am not interested in pursuing the relationship any further. I think you should wait until the second date....hahaha! Just kidding. I do like the occasional one nighter, but thats all it will be. I am sure this goes for men too.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:56:10 AM
Adults have the choice to nurture something or not. Bad sex, probably. Spectacular sex for both of us, probably not.

Edit: Ladies, if a man has sex with you on the first date and disrespects you for a decision he concurred with is he in the end worth your time? Of course not, fuggedaboutit.
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:05:05 PM
All my serious relationships started out with sex early on.

I think it's silly to trash someone for giving it up on the first night.

You can still get to know someone after you bang them.

 mermanus
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:15:26 PM
Ive had sex on the first date a few times and it's usually turned into a relationship but not necessarily deep loving. I dont think it has that much bearing on how a relationship turns out. If it happens, I dont turn it down but I dont put out any pressure for it to happen either. I try to remain a gentleman and wait for the "go ahead" sign before sex. If it's a woman I really like and am beginning to fall in love with then I dont mind waiting as long as it takes.
 dumdum83
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 33
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 1:10:54 PM
It shouldn't kill a potential relationship, but some men seem to think that they are holier than thou and want us women to be virgins or something. It's really sad.
 pebbles_2006
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 41
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 7:12:36 PM
well in previous cases it worked out for me because the 3 fiancees I got engaged to turned out that way.... first date sex & then a long term relationship then few months later we got engaged.

The last fiancee was a Online Internet friend for a year till we decided to meet in person- if he didnt cheated on me it would have been 2 years tomorrow (Sept 8) but yeah depends on the guy if he is the relationship material guy or a fling guy.... depends....

But majority of the men that i met in here were into the first date sex thing which to me was rather odd bec it specifically says on my profile I am not into mindgames/headgames/one night stands/flings & yet I end up meeting the ones that are....

 shag12357
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 43
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:28:02 PM
its not for me , i want the heart first , dont take me wrong ,sex is a very good thing but ,the heart of a woman is a great thing
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 44
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:50:39 PM
If it's good, I see it as a sign that we're highly compatible and I make every attempt to cultivate that situation into a relationship.
 Carnation66
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 50
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:55:45 AM
YES, IT CAN KILL A POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP
 sharkie77
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 55
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 12:39:08 PM
how about a date?
 Runs With Squirrels
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:41:18 PM
Honestly? I absolutely believe that it's possible to have a great relationship if you have sex on the first date. That said, I personally have a hard time with it. Not because I feel cheap or trashy or ANYTHING like that, but because if I feel as though I've made myself too vulnerable too quickly (be it physical or emotional vulnerability), I backpedal like crazy. So what ends up happening for me is that I wind up using the sex, the physical intimacy, as a means of avoiding emotional intimacy. I've gotten a lot better about NOT doing that over the last few years, but I still have to pay attention.

And obvously, as someone else said, if you're talking about having sex with someone you've known for a while but haven't been dating, that changes things significantly. I'm personally speaking in terms of people I don't know so well.
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:40:03 AM
It all depends on your philosophy of sexuality.
 jimicaine
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 68
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:14:56 AM
well i in my last relationship,i had sex on the first date,we ended up dating for another two years,and then got married and lasted another four years.i believe it was a deep-loving relationship
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 74
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:16:45 PM
I got this advice from a man with whom I work. Men have a double-standard!
If you, as a woman, have sex on the first date, then that makes you loose and easy and how many other men have you slept with? Meanwhile, he has his own track record, but you were fun but not long distance material.
Doug told me that you should wait till "at least the third date" if the guy is a keeper, because otherwise he will judge you as not a keeper.
Sad, but true...
I told Doug that notion was hypocritical and unfair, if we were both getting physical needs met, and he replied, "It might not be fair, but it is the ways guys think, and it is reality, like it or not!"
 NocturnalPrincess
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 77
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:37:31 PM
From what Doug was telling me, if a woman uses restraint until the third date, then she just doesn't jump in everywhere.
Sorry. ESE for the generalization!
Just repeating what a guy told me as genuine advice from a guy to a gal about why not to sleep with a man on the first date, if you want to be respected.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:57:36 PM
I've read these threads over and over, well heck there's a ton of them.
In thinking about them in the aggregate, I don't really think it's so much what happens or doesn't on date number 1 or 15, but what's more important is how both people fell about it afterward. A great date is one that ends too soon, like a good performance for a performer, always leave them wanting more.
I'm sure we've all come home from being out with someone thinking, thank God that's over. And hoping they don't call and how to either avoid them or tell them the truth and hope they don't go psychotic. There are the times we think, wow that was a great evening, love to do that again. And they don't ever call again. Such is life, it happens to everyone at one time or another.
Our life is composed of many things, and how and who we spend time with is a component of that. We live, we learn, and hopefully we're the better for it.
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 81
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/10/2006 5:35:50 PM
Yes it definitely can. I can't speak for women but I know that as a man if i manage to achieve what is, lets face it, the goal of most single guys on a night out I then turn around and think "if she's done it with me she's likely to do it with others too"

Hypocritical I know but, hey, I'm a man!


And, I suppose you had nothing to do with the sex? Being a man is no excuse!


if I meet a girl and have sexual relations with her on the same day, I will only see her as that, because it'll be like, "what else does she want?"


See above!


what the.....

no sex on first date. i would lose all respect for a woman who would do that.


Since when can a woman have sex on a first date all by herself? Men can say NO too! Maybe she would lose respect for you too if you had sex with her!
 Greystone1
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/10/2006 6:11:12 PM
I met a woman at a party. We had sex in the back seat of my car, out in the parking lot... then spent the rest of the night in her apartment. We dated for a few months... then lived together for 3 years... then were married for 22 years.

But then we got divorced, so I guess it didn't work out, huh?
 Greystone1
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/10/2006 7:12:31 PM
It all depends on the type of man you are looking for.

If you are looking for a holier than thou, uptight, judgemental control freak, who doesn't respect women he has sex with, then don't have sex on the first date. In fact, make him wait until after the wedding.

Otherwise, make your decision based upon whether you want to have sex with the guy... and when... its your body and your call. If he doesn't respect that, tell him to take a hike.

Why would I disrespect a woman for liking the same things I like, or doing the same things I do? In my book its a plus. Whether it lasts or not depends upon the initial chemistry and how well our personalities mesh, not some silly archaic rule.

Reminds me of an old joke:

Opposites attract: I was hard and she was easy.
 Heath85
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 88
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:27:54 PM
sex on a first date really doesnt give the impression to whomever you're on the date with that you want more than that; if you do!

If you're planning on seeing the person again, and you dont want it to be about sex, i wouldn't really suggest having sex on a first date. Especially if you're the girl. NOT to say that it's always guys that do it, but in all honesty what guy is going to respect you for more than a sex object after knowing he can 'get some' by not putting much effort in.. lol
 Greystone1
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:10:59 PM
I think for women, having sex on the first date gives them something to blame it on when it doesn't work out. It didn't work out because we had sex. If they don't have sex and it doesn't work out (which is just as likely to happen), then they don't know what to blame it on.
 Greystone1
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:30:59 PM
Having sex on the first meeting ruins a relationship for both partners.


I've never found that to be the case. Sex gives you something fun to do together while you are getting to know each other. Beats the hell out of bowling.

Hmmmm... maybe I should start a new thread:

Bowling on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
 mike_k13
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/14/2006 7:45:28 AM
I don’t think most people go out on the first date expecting sex. If you meet someone and the chemistry is strong enough that both decide to have sex. Well I think that would be just great. It’s not going to happen to often and is not for everyone. But with that kind of chemistry the potential for a great relationship is there.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?