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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????      Home login  
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I loved being single in my 30s. I haven't dated since I've been in my 40s, but I think there are just as many options now as there were 5 years ago. JMO
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 9
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:16:32 AM
good post write guy

So does that mean you have canceled your sponsorship of those two twin Danish live in nannies? (didnt you nic name then Boom & Boom?)
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 25
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/31/2006 12:46:55 AM
oh tell me it isn't , I'm going to be 30 soon and can't imagine it being trickier than it is right now at 29!

Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 30
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/31/2006 3:08:59 PM
I have always thought dating was a nightmare from my first date at 15 to the last one I went on 4 months ago.

For people like me it is frustrating. I would love to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but don't have the mental energy to spend so much time on somone if all it will ever amount to is dating.
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 37
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/31/2006 11:58:58 PM
Funny you should bring up this subject. I was at a dating function last night, met a bunch of lovely ladies, all of whom I would have no qualms about persuing for a relationship, many with kids. They all seemed aloof or not interested in a guy in his 40's. What gives? I am at the point in life where I am ready to settle down with someone special and they don't see me as a viable guy! This is a load of houy in my book.

You 30 somethings need to give consideration to use older guys, we have been there, we are stable both mentally and in most cases financially. We are just looking for a normal person who still enjoys life and has not lost her mind.

I am at the point now where I would consider an older woman because they usually are way more approachable and more receptive to younger guys. Any rich widows or slender older women like Goldi Hawn out there?
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 39
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2006 2:26:09 AM
My thoughts.

They are going through divorce.

They can blame themselves. ---- But their egos cant tolerate that.

They can blame the man they just divorced

--- But thier egos can't tolerate that either. It means facing up to being stupid enough to pick a dud man in the first place when there were so many good ones aroudn.

They can blame the male gender. -- Their egos can tolerate that. If there's nothing but duds around.

And they carry this man hating with them for years. Sometimes openly, sometimes subtle, always there.
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 40
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/1/2006 2:33:59 AM
It almost feels like shopping for a used car:

-How much mileage ?
-Previous owner(s) ...
-Is there a warranty ?
-What about recalls ?
-Is it a lemon ?
Oh lone fisher. You don't know the half of it.

The professional mechanic doesn’t get handed a trailer load of parts and get told, “Our cars’ broke. You fix.” But the professional marriage guidance counseller is regularly handed a destroyed marriage and told “You fix” Doesn’t work that way.

When a man, buys a car he usually checks it out carefully before purchase. The woman, buying a car, is even more careful often engaging a professional to check it out. Both try to ignore the polish and chrome and check out the whole package. After purchase both maintain the car to keep it running properly. And many modern women are finding the bonnet and tool box far less of a taboo zone than it used to be.

And yet this is exactly the opposite of how the average marriage goes. The initial attraction is to the bodywork. That’s fine but the average man hunting female is totally blind to defects at this stage, mostly due to a refusal to acknowledge that they are even there, instead of simply checking them and allowing for them. Or rejecting the entire relationship if those defects are genuinely serious and not some minor problem.

After the wedding not one woman in a million would simply ring a marriage guidance counseller over something minor, the way she would ring a mecanic to check a strange rattle under the bonnett.. Such as a few late nights at the office for instance.

But this is not what professionals normally confront. More common are the completely broken marriages which were dud marriages from the word go, which have never been maintained, and which have finally fallen in a heap. Women who have looked at the flash body, either on the man, or worse, on the hire car he’s driving, and decided, from that alone, that this man was perfect. Not good! Perfect!
Am I going over the top perhaps. Ask the girlfriends. Who among you has ever consulted a professional marriage guidance counseller BEFORE entering into a marriage. Not later when the thing is a relationship wreck.
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 46
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/3/2006 12:27:56 AM
My thoughts exactly, bashing the women you're trying to date gets you nowhere.
True Bombay

But it works just as badly in reverse and thats where it normally happens. Have a look at the amount of man bashing the average 25 year old female normally engages in, and regards as normal behaviour. "Don't say yes the first time or he wont respect you, don't kiss on the first date, if he send you a dozen roses that's stalking and you should notify the police" Blah blah blah.

And these girls wonder why the guys seem so relauctnt to date em. Get real.
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 47
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/3/2006 12:29:32 AM
to me somebody being in their 30s is NOT old i have seen so many women/men in their 30s hell even late 50s who have just as much fun and full of life as any one in their 20s do
Me too broken wings


The AVERAGE 35 year old female normally behaves far more like her 60 year old mum than her 16 year old daughter.
 get REEL
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 55
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/3/2006 7:47:25 PM

pretty is just not enough anymore, doesnt matter how pretty a girl is after 30 , you can bet that somewhere there is a guy who is so sick of her shit,,,lol

ya and thats why write guy has a crush on me..
I aint pretty , I just look that way!
he loves shit!

Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 56
view profile
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/9/2006 11:00:43 AM
DEAD ZONE--I would have to agree with some caution. As we get older we gain more responsibilities, free time can be much more scarce. The pool of available people is of course smaller. Then the smaller pool of "desirable" people that meet your interests. I've encountered some people in their 30s/40s still looking for someone that has the carefree 20-something lifestyle. I'm not sure if they are trying to recapture their youth or just need to grow up.

If you have been single for a while, you do get more involved in other activities. It's not selfish and it sure beats waiting around for something to do. Why shouldn't someone plan a weekend trip or a week vacation? It isn't being a career woman if one is working a few evenings a week. If one is training for a marathon, there's a few more hours gone. Homeowners have their weekend to do list. All these demands will way in meeting someone. So it becomes a timing issue.

Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 64
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/10/2006 9:13:42 PM
Nope, you got it backwards judgy!
The young ones are chasing us!
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 69
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/11/2006 3:46:57 PM
Well, I think there's a stigma associated with being single in your 30s for sure. But most of that comes from peer pressure which comes from the mass media and advertising. Of course they want you to date, they want you to buy all the flowers and diamonds and chocolate you can possibly afford to show your love to the one you love. The stigma exists because people want to make some money off of you. I'm a firm believer in ignoring most of what the mass media decides is "good for me"

Nothing wrong with dating someone, nothing wrong with being single. But I don't think alot of people operate that way, they think that they are incomplete unless they are paired off and pumping out babies.


I find getting sex is much easier. I went through a stage where I churned through single moms and 22 year olds right out of college. I never wanted to commit to any of the single mothers, but alot of them don't have alot of opportunity to date/meet people often so they are fairly "open" about getting right down to brass tacks. I found girls right out college was a great niche for me when I hit 30. Most of them leave school single and trying to adjust to a new job, etc, they are more open to just having some fun without all the complications.

But finding relationships? I think that's much trickier. Lots of women my age are looking for long term commitment right now. They want kids right now. They don't want to wait anymore. Do you know what that says to me? ON SALE. It's like a sale at a department store. They know they are getting "out of season" and are going to be cycled off into the sunset for the new fall catalog soon. They want that commitment now because in five more years, that ON SALE sign turns into a HEAVY DISCOUNT sign. They wait even longer after that, they wait another ten years and it's now a LIQUIDATION sign.

Some women feel the social pressure of getting old and still being single, some just partied all the time in their youth and now want to settle down before the expiration date on their hotness comes due. The rest are single mothers and/or divorced. And while those are great women to have some fun with, they carry alot of extra complications with them.

I will say this though, for men only, I don't think dating gets that much harder in your 30s as long as dating was reasonable for you when you were 20-29. If it was hard before its going to be hard now. If it was easy before, I think it will be easier now. Yeah I could see a jump from 40 to 50 being some radical changes, but I think 20s to 30s isn't that extreme.
 get REEL
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 79
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 8/15/2006 9:42:38 PM
come on over to my forum and tell me your thoughts
about grown men being dominated
come on follow me WG.....i........its over here behind the garage

Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 80
view profile
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:36:40 PM

I love dating older women, they know what they want (hint[-Not marriage or especially not a soulmate)

when I see the word Soulmate I don't even look at the age, they are most likely in their 30's & I stop reading - Always - Period.

no offense but can I learn your name & fav color before we choose napkin colors for our wedding?
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 81
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:47:54 PM
If you love the dry spell of 30, the desert of 40+ will feel like home
Come on up, its a dry heat ;)
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 82
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:10:45 AM

Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????

You only have one woman to choose from, but I doubt you will want her. Your 30s is a DEAD ZONE, you get no emails, calls, no precious dates. Its like you dont even exist! Oh, and the towels are kinda scratchy!

*So POF will think this is a lot of writing*
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 83
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:17:25 AM
I haven.t dated since my late 20s this is seriously a first for me ....and I have been on nothing I can call a date. I have no excuse I suck.
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 84
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:38:47 PM
30s are a really weird time to be in, especially if you're single. You're transitioning from the wild partying that you did (or should have done) in your 20s where you didn't have to be so responsible. Now, in your 30s, most everyone has got their careers started and what was important back in the day now is just superficial.

Generally it's ideal to have a partner through the 30s as, from what I've seen, it's a fairly boring time. Everyone I talk to who is older seems to think that when they get into their 40s the career is pretty much set, things have all fallen into place, and there's more time for fun.

The 30s are really just a kind of transitional age bracket.
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 85
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Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/12/2011 5:53:38 PM

....and I have been on nothing I can call a date. I have no excuse I suck.
That I think would be a positive thing. Wait, what? nvm.

What are we talking about? Oh, having a hard time dating over 30. I think when you're in your 20's you're looking for the perfect date. What you see in the movies. Once you're over that threshold you start thinking about what you actually want to do. A gal asked me the other day if I was interested in meeting her, maybe take my dog on a walk. Yah, I'm puddy. But maybe I'm easy. Stomach, back (rub), and dog are an easy 'yes' for me.

To further this, though, nearly every time I've asked "hey, how about this or that day we go to this or that event" it ends up being a scheduling problem. I guess it'd be easier if I worked a normal 9 to 5 job and was hitting on other normal 9 to 5 gals.

LeMonaLisa, you're gorgeous, I have a hard time thinking that you're not having to beat them back with a stick. Good luck!
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 86
view profile
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/19/2011 2:08:40 AM
I'm seriously starting to think it is........I am getting so I don't even want to answer my phone, because of the disappointment, but I try to stay positive, because I'm a romantic at heart!!!!
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 87
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/22/2011 5:14:06 PM
Are you dude just bored and pull what ever crap out your pants?? Something must be wrong with you if you can't get a simple date.

No, being 30+ is not a dead zone!

These topics are dumb...

Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 88
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:01:49 PM
Dating in your 30's is ridiculously harder then it was back in the day. The pool of available men went from millions to a select few and then out of those men, 2 have mental issues and the other one is either gay or married. I give up. Does it get better in your 40's???
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 89
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:04:20 PM
Bobmaf: You're not ugly or unlucky, LOL. You're just part of this game that you never signed up for and the rules to win have been hidden. Have fun!!
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 90
view profile
Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/23/2011 2:34:51 PM
No I think that my prospects for dating in my 30's have vastly improved. Granted I had to take a few years to make myself a better package after my divorce. But I've notice that there seems to be waves in which people are looking to date, an ebb and flow. Like summer time people are looking to be out and socialize. So relax enjoy the ride and maybe the right one will just stroll in you life.

To the above, not all men are either gay, married, or with mental issues. There are a few out in the world that single/divorced without any issues.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????