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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 1
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcasePage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
So I'm sitting around here posting, reading, and what not.. and I get this email PM from some girl who thinks I'm funny.

Well, that's awsome, because I AM funny and I enjoy when people notice.

So we exchange a few messages and she seems really cool and hey, I feel flattered that she continues to say nice things about me, so we move it to the IM stage.

Well prior to that, I made an offhand comment that since her thumbnail had a guy and a girl in the pic, one might assume that its the guy posting and not the girl, since the guy seemed more prominent in the pic.

Well, she asked "How could you POSSIBLY think I'm a guy???" and seemed to be getting angry.. but I thought she was just being playful.

So I explained the above -- that as a guy, I skim over pics and when I see a dude's pic I don't usually bother to click on the profile since I'm not here looking for guys. And she continues to be dumbfounded at how I could possibly have mistaken her for a guy..

So I'm thinking.. wow, we're really getting off on the wrong foot here over a simple misunderstanding, so I explain yet again that it was my fault because all I initially paid attention to was the pic.. and was saying that other people might make that mistake so she might want to change it. Again, she flips out telling me that I have no right to tell her how to make her profile and that I shouldn't be trying to control her...

So finally, I get it through her head that I'm not trying to control her or tell her how to make a profile and that the reason I thought she was a guy was because there was a GUY in her damn picture and since he's prominent in the pic, I thought that's who was posting. So she gets it.. finally.

Then, as I'm ready to move on and get back on track with someone I thought was kind of cool, she says

"I thought you were saying that I was a guy, and I'll tell you right now that I HATE LESBOS AND DYKES!"

And I sat there for a moment... trying to figure out if this was some strange ritual of sarcasm or if this chick was really serious.. so I said.. "Hate is a pretty strong emotion"

And again, she accuses me of telling her how to run her life and what to believe.. so she reiterates again that she HATES (in caps) LESBOS AND DYKES! (Also in caps).

My kneejerk response was "Well, I HATE ignorant, ass backwards bigots" But I thought I'd be the voice of reason and refrain from reacting to this in that way.. so I said, "I don't understand exactly where these strong emotions are coming from" and she said "Well if that's how you want to play it, we're done here!" and closed the window.

So I sat there for a moment, reflecting on WHAT THE **** JUST HAPPENED and I thought.. okay.. I'm indeed done here.. so I sent her a PM that said "Lady.. you've got some serious issues.. I hope you find what it is you think you're looking for" and she replied back "Man, YOU have some serious issues.. like REALLY serious" so then I blocked her.

Anyway, that's the highlight of my night I think. Its like Bigfoot I suppose.. you hear a lot of people claim to have sightings.. but you are never really quite sure until you see one for yourself.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 2
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 12:48:14 AM
I think her beef was that instead of me just mistaking the pic, she thought I was saying she was a guy based on her actions or maybe that she looked like a guy and it infuritated her.

Its a shame really, because she was in fact quite beautiful.. on the outside.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 4
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 4:22:27 AM
For whatever reasons I've had more than one of these IM psychos do something similar with me before----I tend to archive them for future reading fun! One thing I love about the IM systems is it's almost impossible to disguise your personality when using it. Over and over again I've seen how that is so correct it's almost scary.

Someone like you describe was a nutcase long before the internet came along---it's just that now it's easier to "see" or notice. Most times when you encounter one of those you just have to hit the ignore button and chuckle to yourself---they do tend to be humorous in a sad way.

Even if that was your first it won't be the last---learn to enjoy them!!!
 windowshopping04
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 5
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 8:09:52 AM
IKUSA -

Based on the last portion of your exchange, she was accusing you, indirectly, of being female and "playing" her (ergo the hate comments) - probably based on her complete inability to understand what you were saying. You're well shed of that one.

Sorry to hear you had SUCH a wierd experience.
 J_River
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 6
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 1:23:44 PM

I think her beef was that instead of me just mistaking the pic, she thought I was saying she was a guy based on her actions or maybe that she looked like a guy and it infuritated her.

Its a shame really, because she was in fact quite beautiful.. on the outside.


Ikusa,

Theres a correalation. The more attractive the woman and the greater her age, the greater the chance shes not sufficiently stable. You'll have attractive women bitter because their good looks have not been sufficient to obtain what they really desire, whether thats a man or money or children, what have you. Those type come divorced, or separated, or perpetually single. Having gone the trophy wife route once, you get to recognize the glint in the eye which signals instability from that type.

Now if you want the perfect woman, the widowed woman is the right route, but theres a very high obligation with that relationship. She didn't mess her own life up. Fate deprived her, so the man must be sure to bring the best intentions to that relationship. Those that stayed married or widowed are the cream. However the still married are happy and the widowed a high obligation as stated. Now, the other route is to go very young. Theres still 20 somethings out there pure as the driven snow as far as stability goes and the younger women tend to not be as driven about gold.

Its dog eat dog out there. Only the fittest survive.

lol
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 7
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 1:44:05 PM
*drops scissors and kicks them under the table*

Yeah... *looks uncomfortable* That's CRAZY!



Haha, I'm just kidding. I'd use Photoshop... :D
 InNEOwithGEO
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 8
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 2:13:02 PM

His profile has a pic of Johnny Depp as Pirate and NO real content.


Aaaarrrrrrggghhhh....

SOMEBODY had to do it.....

Rainbow, the scuzzy old guy that brought the porn to your first date, how did he represent himself on his profile and how did he slip past your "stay-away-dar"?

I just hate when posers like that give REAL scuzzy old guys like me a bad name....
 InNEOwithGEO
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 9
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 2:39:07 PM
My nut case came from My Space. The date part went fine. The nutcase came later. I took her home after dinner, and she wanted me to hang around this 2 bedroom apartment with her 20 year old daughter and her 2 out of wedlock kids from fathers undetermined, her daughter's white trash boyfriend who was not the father of either kid, all of whom smoked. And when I made an excuse to get the hell out of there she went nuts that I didn't want to hang around. I was going to leave politely until she started in complaining abusively about my leaving so early and how a real gentleman would stay, etc.... but I then had to tell her that I wasn't intersted in hanging around for her dysfunctional family picnic and please don't contact me again.

Whew!!!
 SpiriTofsinsity
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 10
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 3:02:34 PM
I have come to the conclusion, that yes..... SOME ARE OUT THERE.... But, for certain, SOME ARE FURTHER THAN OTHERS..... Please keep that in mind.....
I also chat on a local chat line (phone), and let me tell you, there should be a requirement of "DISTANCE MARKERS"..... Good luck to you, and now you've gotten your feet wet, keep the space behind your ears dry. N E X T...................
luv, SpiriT
 who_the_fox
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 11
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 3:50:09 PM
Oh good!! I thought I was the only one that had to read post 23 more than once and have it still not make any sense!


There are LOTS of nutbars online....and they seem to enjoy sending me hate mail. It used to really bother me....but now I just post it on my profile.

I have met more than my fair share of whackos in person....my favourite was the guy who explained he was the better parent as he only had PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) while the exwife had MPD (multiple personality disorder). GAK!
 J_River
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 12
Oh Winters Day
Posted: 8/13/2006 4:15:21 PM
Agree with you entirely oxdrover upon the multiple marriage types being exceptionally poor risks. Marriage is for young people and is needed for kids and family structure. Don't intend to have more kids so its highly unlikely that I will marry again. Not ruling it out entirely, but it doesnt appear necessary at this stage of life.

I don't date women that have been divorced twice either. Everyone is allotted one mistake, if the person didn't learn from that mistake they are in all likelihood not going to learn and are bad investments of time even if a marriage isn't one's primary focus. Multiple marriage failure is a very bad relationship risk.

As far as dating women or men a generation older or younger than oneself its hard to draw any negative connotations, though can't disagree that a younger woman is generally going to be more subservient to a man. Personally, submissiveness in a woman is a desireable trait, provided its cultivated with consideration. To a certain extent it is innate. There are younger women genuinely attracted to older men where the attraction has nothing to do with financial security. Also, they've had fewer failed relationships and are not scarred as heavily. That is the snow pure and driven. Read this thread and check the ages of the women posting and some of the commentary and you'll understand the point.

I hope you find another mate if that is your goal. Of course I'd suggest that you seriously consider widowers.


High Octane: Your comments about the widows was interesting-- I am one--- and was married and divorced before when I was much younger. There is an old saying that the most perfect man in the world is a widow's last husband, because she remembers only the good things after he is dead. Some men see that 'dead" man as a threat to them, however, if the widow was happy with her previous marriage, she won't have a great deal of dysfunctional baggage along, and probably has learned to have a great relationship. Which I think is better than someone who has been "married" 4 X and had multiple unsuccessful relationships in between. Some people just repeat the same mistakes over and over and don't learn from them.

As for the "young women" who are as "pure as the driven snow" as far as baggage is concerned, a person (man or woman) who marries much out of their age range --May-December marriages-- is usually someone who has a great deal of emotional baggage themselves--- the younger of the two doesn't have as much life-knowledge as the older one, and the older one is usually wanting someone subservient to them, OR they are looking for a "trophy" wife. I do know of ONE May-December relationshp that has stood the test of time. A 23 year old man who married a 48 year old woman in 1984--- they are very very happy to this day! He worships the ground she walks on and vice versa. It does happen. (and she looked every day of her age and then some, and does today--it wasn't about looks or generations but about what was inside the person.)

Back in the days I was a "trophy" wife it was all about what I looked like. That was 35 years ago and I don't stop traffic any more, but the next lucky man who gets this "trophy" now, will surely be getting a much better product inside the current slightly wrinkled packaging.
 J_River
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 13
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/13/2006 4:55:58 PM
Did I say guys should "go for younger women"?

What I said was younger women generally came with less relational baggage.

Regarding my profile, appreciate you bringing the typo to my attention. I meant "women" not "woman" and thanks to you I corrected it.

By older women I didn't mean to say women older than myself, merely "older women". Which doesn't mean they can't be younger either. Maybe I should restrict an age range if its confusing, (35-50), but thats an artificial restriction. Perhaps (21-66) to be all inclusive? Otherwise, there are a few qualifiers in that profile if you noticed.

Paul McCartney at about age 66, was just involved with a younger woman. It didn't work out, but then all relationships end, one way or another. They seemed to part amicably.


high octane,
you said that guys should go for younger women because they were pure as the driven snow, and yet in your profile you say you are looking for an older woman. I think the term you used was a MILF. Well after reading your age, 49.. an older woman to you would be what 80?
 Witchypoo
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 15
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/14/2006 8:12:22 AM
Count yourself lucky that you didn't go out with her.

:))
Witchy
 redheadlady4
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/14/2006 8:48:44 AM
Ikusa: WOW...seems like you got ahold of a real winner !!! Just be very happy you learned this "before" you set up a "live" meeting. She sounds like she has some problems and is very defensive..I think most people would have laughed it off and carried on. Its better to find this out sooner rather than later. Hang in there, not everybody is "weird" bye
 littlered11
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 18
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/14/2006 10:37:50 AM
Once i met a guy off of a phone chat line, he was scary as hell... weird skinny crack head profile, and anyways we were at the bar and he kept pinching the waitresses ass, she kept looking at me like "why the hell r u with him" anyways he told me that night that he had just gotten out of prison and that he needed the touch of a lovely woman like me, and bla bla bla then after a few drinks he started to yell and use profain language towards other men in the bar and there was a huge fight that broke loose and he was arested, and i was drivin home by another cruiser after sitting in the guys car for 2 hrs in the cold with no keys way out in the middle of nowhere. Thats why I only meet women now :P
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 19
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/14/2006 11:54:39 AM
Wow.. thanks for sharing everyone. This thread is pretty funny. Well, internet weirdos are nothing new to me personally, since I've been online for about 13 years (Yeah, there wasn't much interenet back then).

I've had dude's pretending chicks hit on me and lead me on, I've had people stalk me, and so on.

I guess what happened with the girl I started the topic about was mild compared to that and a lot of what others have shared... but you'd think I could go a month without meeting a crazy weirdo.

Part of me was actually afraid she was gonna read this topic and start posting in the thread and out herself.. which frankly would have sucked.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 21
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/14/2006 2:55:58 PM

I had one man write to me because he wanted a woman who likes to poop her pants on purpose.


Wow, you just won the thread.
 J_River
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 22
Nutjobs
Posted: 8/14/2006 8:24:32 PM
Have had a few with eccentricities, but tend to bury those experiences relatively quickly.

Was driving a woman home after a first date and she got right into my space next to me leaned over and with the most sincere look told me she loved me and would do Anything for me. My male appendage heard what she said and was encouraging me to suggest a Bj to her, but my brain kicked in and said "Whoa Nelly"....realizing a Bj suggestion would only encourage her and more than likely create a terrorist. In Iraq, U.S. bombs create terrorists, in dating a premature Bj can do the same.

Another time with a different woman, the sex happened and the next time I meet the woman she began treating me like personal property. It was as if I was married again and had done something to irritate the wife.

Another woman and I had a short relationship with lost her composure over some comments I probably shouldn't have made pertaining to feminine hygiene. She was certainly cleanly, but she asked and I commented. Don't ever comment about such things unless its absolutely positive.

Another woman I dated briefly and was beginning to cool off with began beating me when I tried to get the coals on a grill going after a party. She and a girlfried had the munchies and were making hotdogs, but hadn't opened the ventilation holes on the bottom of the grill and the fire was dead. I guess she thought I was interferring with her hot dog. Perhaps I already had.

Theres others, but its best to bury the little quizzical anecdotes. I apologize for mentioning them. It won't happen again.
 SpiriTofsinsity
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 23
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/15/2006 8:11:35 AM
WOW, CHECK IT....
Theres this local guy, which has sent me several msg's back & fourth, ya know..... Know his name got his number, etc..
Well, the other day I says to him, why dont ya give me your regular e-mail address so in case i send ya something.... Well, of course right away he assumes its some pic of me in God knows what visual, he has brewing.
Because, I said, well purhaps I dont know you that well to be sending chit to your personal e-mail (as Im new to all this pof stuff) (honestly, I was getting info., if anything, just to know more, i guess) HIS REPLY WAS::: OH COME ON, SEND ME SOMETHING, "I'VE BEEN AROUND "BIKERS" BEFORE...............
know what that means?????????????
Gosh, do all men think alike, or what????????????????
I think Im better off fishing alone and keeping the lil ones for bait, instead of throwing em back. AM I JUST SETTING MY STANDARDS WAY TO HIGH, OR DID I SET MYSELF UP FOR CREEP-O's? Gosh good luck dude, SpiriT
 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/15/2006 8:39:25 AM
it may be that third pic in your profile...but then again, it could be he's just a wierdo..
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 25
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/16/2006 1:16:09 PM
I'm not quite sure where you gather that at all. I was trying my best to move past the confusion and the misundertanding.

But I'd be willing to look at the specific text that you believe appears I was trying to provoke someone and review what I said.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 26
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/16/2006 2:19:58 PM

My kneejerk response was "Well, I HATE ignorant, ass backwards bigots" But I thought I'd be the voice of reason and refrain from reacting to this in that way.. so I said, "I don't understand exactly where these strong emotions are coming from" and she said "Well if that's how you want to play it, we're done here!" and closed the window.


Welcome to reality. I met someone some length of time ago who seemed fairly "normal" (if there is such a thing!) By the time a real live conversation ensued, I spent 4 hours listening to him rant about going to a play that was primarily about gay love. He spent several hours trying to convince me that gays "push the envelope" by holding hands, kissing, etc., in public. Attempting to remain composed, I tried to explain that those behaviors don't offend me personally. Holy crap ~ but the time it was said and done, I wanted to whack his melon. With my best FU smile, I finally just retorted "Hmmm....could it be that maybe you have hidden desires?" Ut oh!!! Wish I had been posting in a forum rather than in the car with a homo-phobe with homosexual tendencies....LMAO!!! Since we were on a working vacation, I had a week more of this to endure. Since there was absolutely NO attraction towards him (on my part) I finally just made it clear that him being within 10 feet of me made me feel like he was pushing the envelope because we may encounter some gays/lesbians who might consider him touching me offensive. The funniest thing about the entire ordeal, when it was finally over he honestly stated he'd like to see that play again.......d'oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~OP~ Feel lucky it happened via IM. You could have met that person in real life and may have had to listen to it live.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 29
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:21:59 PM
Geeze, Roslynn Black... that story was no where near as comical as mine.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 30
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/18/2006 11:17:58 PM
I too enjoy the simple things in life.. like a girl who bakes me a cake and lets me live cost free in her house so I can watch The Price is Right.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 32
Holy crap... my first honest to goodness nutcase
Posted: 8/19/2006 11:39:41 PM
Can't say I'm familiar with that archtype.
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