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 mrkwyd1
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 3
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Chuck Norris FactsPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Chuck Norris has counted to Infinity.....TWICE

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving Door.

Evolution is all wrong....there is merely animals that Chuck Norris hasn't killed yet.

Chuck norris doesn't sleep....he waits.

Chuck norris Actually died 5 years ago.....death is too afraid to collect him.

The sad thing is....I didn't actually go to the website...these were all just off the top of my head.....boy do I need to go out tommorow.....
 mrkwyd1
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/17/2006 10:07:30 PM
I can't find it right now as the site is down....but on Youtube I once found a clip of Chuck Norris reading some of the top facts on "The best damn sports show" and also on "The tony Danza Show"
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 8
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:09:48 PM
He can fly a SeaKing!

www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=56906
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 9
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:16:54 PM
Oh, FGD... surely you realize that for spelly, resurrecting this one is a bit like like opening up Pandora's Box, don't you?

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 10
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:22:24 PM

resurrecting this one is a bit like like opening up Pandora's Box


Speaking of resurrection, on the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 11
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:25:44 PM
And in a related story.... Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the Bible. All three died shortly afterwards of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 12
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:31:25 PM
Well - I hear Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight, because dark is afraid of HIM.
 Mz Q
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 13
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:26:13 AM
"There Is No Such Thing As A Lesbian, There Are Just Girls Who Haven’t Met Chuck Norris ."

Love you Chuck!!!
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 14
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Posted: 8/3/2007 8:10:24 PM
Objects in Chuck Norris's rear-view mirror appear at their correct distances.
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 15
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/3/2007 8:57:07 PM
They once made a Chuck Norris brand of toilet paper, but there was a slight problem... it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 17
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Posted: 8/7/2007 8:01:23 PM
Oh my....


Dear Tchirts.com:

We represent Mr. Chuck Norris, the famous actor. Mr. Norris owns rights in his name, image and related trademarks and copyrights (collectively "Norris Properties"). He has used them for many years in his profession and his businesses. Mr. Norris recently learned that you are promoting and selling t-shirts displaying the Norris Properties ("T-shirts") on your website www.Tchirts.com. An example from your website is annexed.

Mr. Norris enjoys significant fame and goodwill in the Norris Properties. Mr. Norris did not licence you or permit you to use Norris properties. By promoting and selling these T-shirts, you demonstrate your intent to gain by missapropriating Mr. Norris' name and goodwill. You are also violating Mr. Norris' publicity and privacy rights.

On behalf of Mr. Norris, we demand that you immediately 1)Stop using the Norris properties, including on all sales of products; 2) cease all promotion and sales of products bearing the Norris Properties; 3) identify the source from which you obtained those products; and 4) provide us with an accounting from your revenues from sales of products bearing any of the Norris Properties, including the selling price of each item sold and an itemization of all products bearing the Norris Properties in your inventory. Any use of the Norris Properties after receipt of this notice, will be further proof of your intentional missapropriation, from which Mr. Norris can recieve immediate injunctive relief, higher damages and payment of his attorneys' fees. If you believe you obtained these products from an authorized source, please forward me the names and address of your vendor and we will let you know whether the vendor was authorized to use the Norris Properties in that manner.

We expect your response in writing within 10 days of the date of this letter. Mr. Norris reserves all his rights, including the right to take legal action as necessary to halt your unlawful conduct.

Sincerely, [Attorney's Name]



Here was our response:

Hi [attorney's first name],

We apologize for any inconvenience caused to Mr. Norris and hope he isn't angry with us. Until now we respected him and we wouldn't want him to come and kick our scrawny screen printing asses!

This t-shirt was only put up about a month ago. We sold a total of 0 (zero) Chuck Norris t-shirts, because nobody thought it was as cool as we did. In fact I don't think Chucky got any publicity this past year other than through our website and the Bowflex. So we don't mind removing an unsuccessful t-shirt from our website. We promise to never make another Chuck Norris T-shirt without his permission again!

Don't forget to visit us again, we have many new t-shirts added regularly (no Chuck Norris ones we promise) !!!!

;)

All the best, Tchirts.com
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 18
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/7/2007 9:23:44 PM
No stranger to the courts, Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs, respectively.
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 19
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/15/2007 8:29:26 PM
Uh oh... and still more legal trouble for Chuck Norris, who is also currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape... claiming their slogan "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the registered trademark for his penis.
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 20
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:05:29 PM

6 Feet of Fun" is actually the registered trademark


I've been holding off reporting this news for some time - but somehow feel it is now appropriate to bring this up.

I've read on the internet that Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of himself!
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 29
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:32:29 PM
^^^ Chuck Norris knows where you live.

Chuck also just consulted his Magic 8 Ball... it said "Outlook not so good."

Nice knowin' ya, pal!
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 30
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:19:14 PM
Yep... and besides, Canada's bigger and we're on top... which means if North America was prison, America would soooo be our bitch.

On topic: Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. That's not his ethnic heritage... the man ate a fucking Jeep.
 susan_cd
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 41
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:24:27 AM
There is a reference to Chuck Norris in the new "Get Smart " movie.

(ain't gonna say what it is, you'll have to see the film )

It'll be money well spent, my friend & I almost pee'd ourselves laughing
 juan mo oclock
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 47
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/15/2009 9:18:20 PM
too bad he doesn't visit dodge truck country..............
 armaegis
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 49
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/16/2009 11:36:44 PM
The only person who could beat Chuck Norris in a fight... is Techno Viking!
 juan mo oclock
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 50
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/17/2009 11:56:22 AM
gotta admit, i don't remember dancing in berlin shirtless..............course i drank a lot back then..........
 armaegis
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 51
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/17/2009 12:54:43 PM
Internet knowhows seem to think Techno Viking is UFC's Keith Jardine. Hmm...
 juan mo oclock
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 52
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/17/2009 1:35:32 PM
nah, i recognize my moves anywhere...............course i've let myself go since that was shot..........
 armaegis
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 53
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/17/2009 1:53:01 PM
Dance moves or fighting moves? Those look like they could be both.
 susan_cd
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 54
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 5/17/2009 6:55:43 PM
In the beginning, Chuck Norris created the heavens and the earth.
 LucOberdere
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 59
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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:08:18 PM
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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